Truth About Men & Dogs

by Andrea Simonne

  He squirmed, turning away.

  “This woman is my mother,” I informed him. “That’s the reason she gets to speak to me that way. It’s time for you to stop whining and act like a man. Take some responsibility for yourself, for Christ’s sake.”

  Doug blinked at me. His bottom lip quivered, and then his whole face crumbled. “You’re right!” he wailed, collapsing onto one of the deck chairs. “Everything you said about me is true. I’m a complete failure!”

  Shit. “Look, I didn’t mean to be so harsh. But you were just complaining to us about how you’re not getting enough work.”

  “I’m my own worst enemy!”

  “Why would you turn down a job?” I sat across from him, genuinely curious. I could feel my mom and the pest watching our conversation.

  “I don’t know. I just get nervous.” He stared at me with those large eyes. “I’m worried I’ll get my hopes up and then be disappointed when they hire someone else.”

  “But that’s part of doing business. Competition is healthy. You just move on to the next opportunity.”

  My sister put down her manuscript and smiled at my cousin. “I don’t think you’re a failure. Not at all.”

  “None of us think that, Douglas,” my mom said. “You have your own business, and you live in this lovely town.”

  “I suppose,” he mumbled.

  “Hey, and you just got Claire to go out to the movies with you,” I added, trying to cheer him up.

  He brightened. “I did, didn’t I?”

  I flashed back to the scene earlier and wondered how often he used that begging technique to get women to go out with him. It was horrifying to witness, but obviously it worked.

  His expression turned smug. “It’s a good thing I didn’t listen to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You told me I should wait and ask her later.”

  I leaned back in my chair. “That’s only because you were freaking out.”

  “You told me I should play it cool. That women don’t like guys who show emotion or get attached.”

  My mom and sister both made scoffing noises.

  I shrugged. “That’s not exactly what I said. Though it’s basically true.”

  A phone rang somewhere in the house, and my mom got up. “Please don’t listen to my son when it comes to women,” she told Doug before going inside. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

  “Definitely don’t listen to him.” The pest leaned forward. “Everything my brother says about women is dead wrong.”

  “Excuse me.” I turned to her. “And how would you know?”

  “Hello? I am a woman.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break. You’re a kid.”

  “I’m twenty-four!”

  I grumbled a little. I knew my sister was in her twenties and even dated, but I didn’t like to think of her as a grown woman with a bunch of loser guys chasing after her.

  “The only reason my brother thinks women like commitment-phobic alpha assholes is because he happens to be one,” she told Doug.

  “Hey, I do all right. I’m not exactly hurting for female attention.” The truth was I was seldom turned down when I asked a woman out.

  “That’s because the women you date are all just as screwed up as you are.”

  “No they aren’t. What are you talking about?”

  “All those shallow relationships? Most of them only want you for your money or what you can do for them.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “You know it’s true.” She reached for her glass of ice water. “Why do you think Mom and I want you to find a wife? It’s obvious none of those vapid women are going to stick.”

  “Who says I want them to stick?”

  “Going from one woman to the next without developing any real emotional ties.” She took a sip and put her glass down. “Let’s face it, you’re no better than a dog.”

  “Jesus, could you be more flattering?”

  “Why? It’s true. You are a dog.”

  Doug was grinning ear to ear as my little sister raked me over the coals.

  A moment later my mom came in, holding the phone to her ear with a worried expression. “It’s for you,” she told Doug. “It’s your mother.”

  Doug’s grin vanished, and he took the phone. “Mom?”

  The three of us watched with concern. From what it sounded like, she was in the hospital and needed him to come to Seattle. “I’ll leave right away,” he said. “Let me go home and pack a bag.” He continued to listen for another minute before he hung up.

  “What’s happening?” I asked.

  He sighed. “I guess she was feeling a little dizzy, so she called an ambulance, and they took her to the ER. They’re running some tests to make sure she’s okay.”

  Not to be unkind, but this wasn’t exactly the first time my aunt Linda had called an ambulance for herself. If ambulances gave out frequent-flier miles, she’d have a first-class ticket around the world. Nothing was ever wrong with her either. She was as healthy as an ox.

  “Is there anything we can do?” my mom asked. “Do you need us to help you pack?”

  “No, I can do it myself.”

  Doug’s hangdog looked sadder than usual, and I felt like an asshole for giving him such a hard time earlier. “It’s a long drive to Seattle. I could probably charter a small plane for you,” I offered. “I assume there’s an airfield nearby.”

  “Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. I drive to Seattle a lot. My mom doesn’t like me living out here, says it’s too far away and that I should move back home—but I don’t want to.”

  I nodded with understanding. If Aunt Linda were my mother, I doubt I’d want to live anywhere near her either.

  Doug wore a gloomy expression. “This means I won’t be able to start work on Claire’s room tomorrow.”

  “I’m sure she’ll understand,” I said.

  “She’ll probably hire someone else now.”

  “I doubt it.”

  He shook his head. “You heard her. She’s anxious to get started on that room. Why would she wait for me?”

  “She’ll wait.”

  He hung his head. “Not after I tell her I have to leave town for the next couple days.”

  I didn’t reply. I thought about how relieved I was to be leaving myself. There were a million things I needed to do when I got back to the city.

  Doug shifted in his seat, staring at me. “Listen.” He swallowed and leaned forward. “I just had an idea. Do you think… maybe you could fill in for me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Fill in for me with the job at Claire’s.”

  “I can’t. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

  He licked his lips. “I know, but it would only be for a couple of days, and then you could leave. I’ll be back on Saturday.”

  “Now that’s a fine idea, Douglas,” my mom said. She turned to me. “Why don’t you do that and help your cousin?”

  “But the ferry only runs on weekdays,” I said with annoyance. “I’ll be stuck here until Monday.”

  “You just said you could charter a small plane anytime,” the pest pointed out.

  My mom nodded enthusiastically. “And didn’t you and Gavin do a similar type of construction work for his father years ago?”

  I didn’t bother responding because she already knew the answer.

  “It’s the perfect solution,” she said.

  “I swear I’ll be back by Saturday,” Doug told me. “You can use my truck too, since I’ll take my car to Seattle. You’ll mostly be managing the drywall guy until I get back.”

  All three of them were staring at me with a hopeful expression.

  I sat up straight. It was time to lay down the law. “Look, I have a company to run. I need to get back to work. Forget it.”

  “Work from here,” my mom said. “It’s only a little longer, and I doubt Gavin would mind.”

  I doubted Gavin would mind eith
er, but that wasn’t the point. I didn’t want to be stuck in Truth Harbor one more night, much less two.

  “Please, Philip,” Doug begged. “I promise I’ll never ask you for anything again.”

  “You already told me that earlier.”

  “This time I mean it. I swear!”

  My mom and the pest were looking at me like I was a monster for not wanting to stay and help Doug. I knew I’d never hear the end of it.

  I blew my breath out in frustration. This was unbelievable. “Two days,” I growled. “And not a minute more.”

  Chapter Eight

  ~ Claire ~

  “I can’t believe you’re finally going on a date, and it’s with Doug.” Leah picked up her beer. “Especially after you turned down meeting Neil’s friend with the shoulders and Spiderman tat.”

  It was a lively Tuesday night at Bijou's Cafe, and Leah, Theo, and I were finally having dinner together. I glanced around at the crowd. There was a line out the door, since Tuesday was free dessert night and the desserts were amazing.

  “It’s not really a date,” I said, shifting on the red vinyl seat. “He just asked me to go to the movies.”

  “I think Doug is handsome,” Theo offered. She dipped a french fry into her usual ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise mixture. “Exceedingly dull, but still handsome. And it’s good you’re going on a date.”

  “It’s not a date,” I insisted.

  “It sure sounds like one.” Leah eyed me. “I thought you were done with men.”

  “I am done with men.” I described what happened earlier that afternoon with Doug groveling and begging me to go to the movies, and how his cousin was there to witness the whole thing. “I was basically ambushed.”

  Theo’s green eyes flashed at me through her glasses. Bits of copper hair escaped her messy bun, springing out like corkscrews. “Wow. He must really like you.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” I let my breath out. “I felt sorry for him. What was I supposed to do?”

  She shrugged and popped a fry in her mouth. “Say no?”

  “A pity date,” Leah mused. “Just don’t get drunk and sleep with him like you did that photographer.”

  “Very funny.”

  “At least Ethan's not the last guy you slept with,” Theo said, nodding and chewing. “In my opinion, that photographer was a necessity.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed, not exactly proud of my one-night stand.

  “What happened when you had to cancel the other night?” Theo asked me, picking up her burger. “Leah said you had a horrible client.”

  “Ugh.” I told them all about fish-face Mona and how rude she was. “I wish I’d turned down that job, because now she’s refusing to pay me for all the work I did. She claims she’s not satisfied and wants me to go back and clean her house all over again for free.”

  “Hmm.” Theo chewed her burger. “It sounds like Mona might need a mysterious Periplaneta americana infestation.”

  “I’m afraid to even ask what that is.”

  “American cockroach.” She gave me a sly grin. “They fly in warm weather, and it’s been rather warm lately, wouldn’t you say?”

  “Gross.” As much as I disliked Mona, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but please don’t tempt me.”

  She shrugged. “Just say the word and I’ll have a friend cook one up for you.”

  “Wow, you’re like a Mafia hit man,” Leah said with admiration. “How much do you charge for your infestation services?”

  “A couple grand, but this one’s on the house.” She winked at me.

  I knew she was joking. Or at least I was pretty sure. Theo had a dry sense of humor, and I couldn’t always tell when she was serious or kidding. “What sucks is Mona’s rudeness wasn’t even the worst part of that evening.” I told them about running into Ivy and Ethan there and how they were all dressed up for a night on the town.

  Leah rolled her eyes. “I wish they’d never moved back here.”

  “Me too.”

  “How was it seeing Ethan?” Theo asked.

  “It was weird. He looked the same. I expected him to have grown horns and a forked tongue by now.”

  Theo smirked. “He’s probably hiding them. Was he wearing a hat?”

  “No, but his hair was suspiciously fluffy.” I didn’t mention him coming to see me later that night and offering me money. I was too embarrassed.

  My phone buzzed beside me, and I checked the display. It was Doug. This was the second time he’d called since the afternoon. I knew I should answer it, but I felt too guilty. I’d already decided to cancel our date. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings though.

  “By the way, what’s the formula for that soap scum remover you told me about months ago?” Leah asked, getting her phone out. “That stuff was amazing. I need to make another bottle.”

  “Just mix equal parts white vinegar and blue liquid dish soap,” I said. “You can microwave the vinegar until it’s hot if you want it stronger.”

  “That’s right.” She nodded and began typing my instructions into her phone. “I forgot that part last time.”

  By the time we finished dinner, the line for Bijou's was still out the door. I had their famous strawberry shortcake for my free dessert, and it was sublime. Worth every calorie and gram of fat. When I saw Bijou’s daughter, Isabel, I waved at her. We went to high school together. She used to bring her mother’s shortcake to school events.

  As we headed out past all the people still waiting, I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw it was Eliza.

  The three of us walked over. Philip was there, along with their mom, Sylvia. I said hello and introduced everyone.

  “I can’t believe how busy it is out here on a Tuesday night,” Eliza said. Her eyes were striking, though not quite as intense as her brother’s. “This place is like a party town!”

  “It’s a little quieter in the off-season,” I explained, “but we get a lot of tourists during the summer months.” I could feel Philip watching me, though I ignored him.

  “Well, it looks like I might be staying for a while longer,” Eliza continued with excitement. “I’m trying out for a part in a play at the local theater.”

  “Really? That’s great.”

  We chatted some more, and then, just as we were leaving, Philip nodded toward me. “See you tomorrow.”

  I nodded back. It was a curious thing to say, but all I could think was he must be coming by with Doug again. Luckily I’d be gone most of the day.

  “Wow, he’s cute,” Theo said as we were walking back to our cars. “How long is he staying in town?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t care. Trust me, he’s an asshat.”

  Leah turned to me. “Wait a minute, that’s the asshat who told you to change your business name?”

  “Yes.” I was grumpy even being reminded of it. “He also stole my phone.”

  “What do you mean?” Theo asked.

  I told them what happened after Philip carried me up the beach. “He won’t admit to taking it, but I know he did it.”

  “Wow.” Theo shook her head. “You’re right. Total asshat.”

  Leah seemed to be deep in thought. “He looked familiar. What did you say his name was again?”

  “Philip. He’s here with his mom and sister. Apparently he was forced into a vacation because of some kind of health problem.”

  Theo pulled out her car keys from her front pocket, since she seldom used a purse. “Really? He doesn’t look unhealthy. What’s wrong with him?”

  “I don’t know. High blood pressure, I think. He’s a workaholic.”

  “What’s his last name?” Leah wanted to know.

  “North.”

  Her eyes widened. “Wait a minute, Philip North?”

  Theo and I stopped walking because Leah had stopped.

  “Holy shit.” Her tone grew excited. “Do you guys know who that is?”

  “No.” Theo and I glanced at each other. I had a feeling
I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.

  “He runs NorthStone Capital—the company in Seattle I used to work for as an analyst.”

  I blinked with surprise. “Really?”

  “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him. I’ve never actually met him though.” Leah grinned. “I always thought he and his partner, Gavin, were so cool. They’re eccentric but crazy successful.”

  I tried to adjust my picture of Philip to accommodate this new information. No wonder he seemed so full of himself. “Eccentric how?”

  “They’re like outlaws in the financial world. They never wear business suits. They refuse to play by the rules—no secret handshakes or cigar smoking behind closed doors. Finance Today had them on the cover, and they wore torn jeans and leather jackets. Back then everyone was calling them Butch and Sundance and referring to NorthStone as the Wild Bunch.”

  “And that’s Doug’s cousin?” Theo seemed to find this amusing. “Who knew?”

  “I know.” Leah laughed. “I can’t believe he never mentioned it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No wonder he had the audacity to steal my phone. Not to mention the way he criticized my business name.”

  “Uh-oh.” Leah went still and looked at me with concern. “Maybe you should change the name of your maid service. I mean, if Philip North thinks it’s a dud, it probably is.”

  “What?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I shook my head. “Forget it. I don’t even know him.”

  “Trust me, most people would pay a lot of money to hear his opinion about something like that.”

  “So what?” I thought about the way he stood inside my house looking bored and irritated. The way he’d insulted both me and my hometown. I couldn’t care less what he thought.

  I was just out of the shower the next morning, combing my wet hair back into a bun, when my front doorbell rang. Figuring it was probably Violet or Daphne, I threw on my white silk robe.

  When I opened the door, my pulse shot up. It wasn’t Violet or Daphne but Philip. The financial outlaw himself.

  “Can I help you?” I asked gingerly, hiding behind the door. My hand went to my chest area, making sure I was sufficiently covered.

  “Good morning. I’m here to get started.”