Mask

by Jan Irving

  Marilyn raised her brows. “I think you need to leave it, stop taking out your feelings on it and deal with the real problem—calmly.” “ Okay, Im freaking out,” Nick admitted, shoving back his hair, the movement tugging lightly on the bandage on his neck, almost redundant now that it had been a week since Kain had bitten him, nearly drained him. But that was then and this was now, and Nick needed Kain. And the bite hadnt been so bad. Hell, it had been amazing, which had been the problem!

  “ Its like not breathing when I cant work. All the colors are….” Nick turned away from what hed been mixing, the tones as sober as a businessmans suit. Not spontaneous eruptions of color. Not Nick.

  Not Kain. Marilyn growled, as if picking up Nick s frustration.“Its all his fault, this man youre seeing. First he just about stalks you online, from what little youve admitted, and Im not impressed that you wind up in the hospital because you fell over and cut yourself while under his roof. He hasnt even bothered to see how youre doing!”

  Nick shook his head, giving a rusty laugh. “Marilyn, its more than that.” He put an arm around her, glad he had her, his former boss, his unlikely pal. Even though she was so much older than he was and a straight woman with no artistic abilities, they clicked.“Kain… hes disappeared! Finn says the night he came to see me at the hospital he put his assistant Cassandra in charge of his company and just… vanished.”

  Marilyn sat on the chair next to Nick and took his hand. “Im sure hes all right. Didnt you say he could take care of himself? And the way he manipulated you into living and working with him. What did I tell you? The mans a classic bad boy.”

  Nicks lips quirked. “Like from one of your novels?” “ Dont give me that! Jane Austen knew what she was talking about. Mr. Darcy had a lot to learn before he was whipped into shape, didnt he?”

  “Right,” Nick agreed. “Well, my bad boy is a regular tortured hero and Im worried about him. Under the tough act, hes… fragile.” “ Yeah? Fragile is usually the secret side of the Alpha male, luring you like the proverbial moth to the flame.” Marilyn sipped some of her rose-chocolate tea, fascinated by Nicks love life as always. Nick had the feeling that shed found his relationship with Miguel rather dull, but she had loved to hear about Obsidian-Kain, his online admirer.

  Nick made a face.

  “Sorry, it must be different to live it than read about it.”

  “ Yeah, uncomfortable, mostly, and right now my gothic hero is being a pain in the ass,” Nick said, feeling a little defeated. He might have been the one who wound up in the hospital, but physical wounds were sometimes the easiest to heal.

  Kain s eyes the night hed brought the roses….

  “He needs rescuing.”

  “Well,” Marilyn said. “You better stop painting and get on that, hmmm?”

  “MY PLACE,” Ross said, showing Dr. Armand Leyland into his brightly

  painted apartment—maybe too bright. Kain had once teased him that it looked like hed taken giant crayons to the walls. Purple, blue, red…. “A rainbow,” Armand said now, as if sensing Rosss unease. “Appropriate.” “ Yep.” Ross shrugged out of his fall coat and took Armands. He couldnt believe this gorgeous and brilliant man had any interest in him. Had actually asked him out when Ross had called him to tell him his handlebars had been modified for his new mountain bike. Ross took pride in his work and hed tried to hand-build something special for Armand, to take the demands of the rugged sport.

  “Funny, my….” Ross swallowed. “My first boyfriend commented on the same thing, that my walls reminded him of a rainbow.” Armand spotted a picture of Ross and Aaron, still smiling on the dresser Ross used to store files in his tiny living room. “You still think of him?”

  “ Sometimes. He was a wonderful man though he had a real temper. Im ready to move on,” Ross admitted, not wanting to talk about the past. Spending time with the hot doctor was just what he needed after a week of receiving black roses. Shit! Hed vowed not to think about that anymore, but he wished Kain would knock it off.

  Now what? He blinked, staring at his small galley kitchen, almost an afterthought to Ross since he rarely cooked. Oh, right, hed offered to make Armand dinner so they could go over the specs of the new custom design hed created. His heart picked up. He wasnt a great cook, but maybe pasta would go over okay, he thought, trying to stifle the usual cloud of self-doubt before it could choke his enjoyment of the evening like weeds in a garden.

  He wished, and not for the first time, that Kain hadn t changed after the fire, that he hadnt let Aaron die. Right now he could use a best friend to get some advice on handling the dazzling Armand. Ross swallowed thickly, remembering it had been Kain who had helped him prepare for his very first date with Aaron.

  Fuck. How could he think about Kain? He hoped that bastard rotted in hell after what hed done. He certainly wasnt the fun-loving man Ross had grown up with and looked up to when theyd been in school and first figured out they were both different. Kain spent all his time locked away in that ruin of a house now, almost as ruined as his life.

  “ I thought you werent seeing anyone?” Armand teased, suddenly handing Ross a black rose wrapped in cellophane.“I found it just outside your door.”

  Ross froze, heart thudding in his ears, not wanting to take it, touch it. Hed have to call Finn, confide in him that hed received another; it had been Finn who reluctantly put up the possibility that Kain might have sent them since Kain was not himself lately. If that was true, maybe Finn could talk to Kain, get him to knock it off again.

  “ Hey, Ross, youve gone white! What is it?” Armand put an arm around him, protective, breaking all the first-date ice. For a moment, Ross allowed himself to absorb Armands strength, liking how comfortable it instantly felt. Hed missed having someone.

  But he couldn t share this. “Its nothing.”

  Armand studied him, cocking his head. “You can talk to me.”

  Ross turned his back, realizing that as much as he wanted to leave behind what had happened, he wasnt free to date Armand. “I….” He looked over his shoulder. “Tonight was maybe a mistake.”

  “Ross? Youre frightened, I can tell.” Ross gave a rough laugh, rubbing his jaw with shaky fingers. “Frightened. Yeah.” What if Kain hadn’t sent the roses? It was something that Ross had wondered sometimes, when he was lying alone in his bed with only the sound of his heart beating so he switched on a light.

  But if it wasnt Kain, then who was bent on scaring him? Ross just couldnt think of anyone. DETECTIVE MANNERS folded her arms as she spotted Nick walking toward the club Manticore.“That close call you had not enough to warn you off?”

  “ It was nothing like what happened to those other boys, Detective,” Nick managed evenly, annoyed. Why did everyone believe the worst of Kain, even Kain himself?

  “Not at all!” Manners mocked. “He didnt by any chance give you any roses, did he?”

  Nick remembered Kains bloody hand offering tattered red roses at the hospital. “Uh.”

  “Because Forensics found traces of a charred black rose with each of the victims.”

  “Oh. No black roses. Hes not the murderer, Detective.” “Uh-huh. Funny how the week he goes out of town or some shit, we have no murders,” Manners noted.

  “DOES Kain know youre here, kitten?” Siren demanded, hands on his

  hips as he came over to Nicks table in Manticore. It was the same table Nick had shared with Kain and he ached, feeling Kains absence. “Hes… not around.” Nick raked a hand through his hair. Siren slid on the chair next to Nick s. “You look strung out. Im sorry. Hes not….” He chewed his lip, obviously not knowing how much to give away about Kain.

  “Dead?” Nick shook his head. “But hes not exactly normal either, thanks to you.” “ Making Kain into a dark fey is not something I regret.” Siren shrugged. “He was the most beautiful man Id ever seen and now hell be beautiful for a very long time.”

  “He didnt tell me…. There are things I need to know about what he is,” Nick pressed, getting t
o the reason why hed come to the club. Siren sat back, musing over his drink. “Warrior fey were created to be the enforcers in the fey armies. We are stronger, have sharper senses, and we often live close to the earth—as Kain has chosen with his dilapidated house. Some of us make it a mission to take care of the otherworldly creatures that can pose a danger to fey, shifters or humans.”

  “But you take blood?” Siren nodded. “Its the Turgold, the bond made by blood. An adult dark fey craves it, takes it from lovers until he or she meets their mate. When they do, the need takes on more power. We want to become a part of our chosen one.”

  “Which maybe explains the trip wire Kain and I set off. Tell me more about what happened the night you made Kain a… dark fey?” Siren sat back, raising a brow. “How much did he tell you?” “What do you think?”

  “Not a lot.”

  “I need to see him.”

  Siren lifted a languid hand. “Dont worry, kitten; he cant stay away from you for long, whatever he thinks. You are bonded, a fey to his chosen human.”

  Jaw flexing, Nick sighed.“Im glad you think so. So far hes proving you wrong.” Siren s blue eyes narrowed on Nicks face, as if taking in his upset for the first time. “You went too far with him, didnt you?” He nodded to the bandage and Nick flushed.“Kitten, it would be better if you and Kain learned from us. I—we can teach you both how to bond safely.”

  “Ill keep it in mind but right now I just need to find him. Ive tried his work and his house is shut up tight, so….”

  “Uh-huh. Well, if Kain is playing a game of hide-and-seek, where does your heart, your body tell you hes hiding?”

  “I….”

  “Come on; youre bonded. What is the first place that comes to mind for a fae?”

  Nick didnt have to think. “He would not leave familiar ground.” “No, he would not,” Siren agreed.

  LUKE moaned at the pain at his wrists and ankles from the iron shackles. Iron, so he couldnt change, couldnt get free, couldnt help— “ Finn,” he whispered, sensing his mate was close, by a certain warm earthy note in the dank tunnel that hed know anywhere; it was what had brought him here, doomed him.

  “Luke, you were so rough last night. You never used to be like that,” Finn said, forlorn. Sickness gripped Luke s throat. Oh, Finn. Oh, no. Knowing what had happened, rage made him writhe in his bonds, so his wrists bled and his eyes bled, but still he could not change.

  THE door of Kains mansion was still barred to him. The windows dead of light.

  Why had he come out here? Nick sighed, rubbing his chin. Just because Siren suggested that Kain might stick close to home…. Nick folded his arms, not sure what to do next, shivering in the foggy night air. Probably he should go home. Try to work on his next assignment.

  Instead, pulled by instinct, he circled the house, into the wild garden hed been warned more than once by Finn wasnt safe. THE moon was a misty spotlight as Nick walked under the moss-hung trees, stepping on crunchy clumps of tall grass. He passed an ornamental lake, water murky, ice rimmed, the heroic marble of a man stained brown, like mottled flesh.

  Something grabbed his ankle.

  “Uhhhhh!” Clawing, kicking out, he cried, “Shit!”

  Dirt, leaves, he slid, fighting, pulled into the earth. His hands rasped against rotting wooden boards, a pale, dirty face, pale as a drowned body. Pulling him deeper, covering him.

  He stared into feral green eyes.

  Kain, nude, green and brown spattered, a wild creature, coming out of the earth and pulling him down onto the shards of an old veranda? … Tearing cloth, mud-streaked hands gripping his hips, raising him, grunting as his sex butted against Nick’s, pushing, awkward, fighting to get close….

  “Wait! Kain, wait, whats happened to you?”

  His clothes torn aside, white-knuckled hands spread him. Kains teeth flashed, and Nick cried out. Kain s wrist, dripping blood on his erection while Nick watched, dazed, remembering that Obsidian had warned him this was a dark fairy tale.

  And then Kain reached, positioned, took.

  Kain fucked him, hard, savage, almost dry.

  Filthy, flattened against cold ground and shards of wood, head bumping against the side of his prison from the force of Kains thrusts, Nick let him.

  KAINS skin was blue, like an ancient warrior Celt, washed by the

  pigment of the earth, his tangled dark hair dry, rough, crowned like a wild prince with leaves and twigs, and his eyes—

  It was his eyes that made Nick surrender. Innocent, lost, groping for contact, Nick had a feeling that Kain had lain in the earth, curled in the fetal position, hiding, but Nick wandering so close had somehow roused him, ignited their bond. Blind, hed reached out of the dark for Nick.

  Not desire, not love, because that was too complex for a reduced beast. Need. Nick cupped Kain s cheeks, trying to kiss him as Kains penis skidded warmly against his leg, leaving a wet trail of want. Kain lifted his leg, hungry again, even though hed just had Nick, hammered him like an animal, his hands restless as he gripped the shreds of Nicks pants, which hed clawed off in his haste to mate.

  “ Uhhhhhh!” Nick gasped, not quite ready to take Kain again, but he didnt resist. Dragged down here in the dirt, it felt oddly right. Kain wanted him this much and Nick was his, even if this wasnt all hed wanted.

  Kain to the side of him, impaling him, penis buried deep inside, too-full, slick now with semen and blood. Nick clawing, clods of dirt under his hands, pressed into the earth, as Kain grunted.

  The next moment, he pulled out and rolled Nick over onto all fours, as if he needed to possess Nick from all angles. Nick gasped when his legs were kicked wider, Kain ramming, fucking, opening him.

  When Kain s teeth entered the back of his neck, Nick stiffened, his cock immediately reacting to the sharp invasion. Unbearably hard, spurting now, Kains hand wrapped around the front of his throat like a possessive collar.

  Mashed to the ground. Pounded. Used. BLOOD warm from another bite on his shoulder blade trickled. Kain lapped at it, licking the side of Nicks throat as well until the blood stopped seeping and healed.

  Nick jerked him close, giving a choked laugh. He wasn t sure if he was close to tears or…. His body was singing complaints, singing satisfaction.

  “Kain….” Still flushed from the collusion of their bodies, Kain sat up, looking into Nicks eyes, and Nick saw him and not the monster ascendant. Kain reached out and stroked the hair off Nicks forehead and then gave him an aching kiss.

  His penis firmed against Nicks leg. A little raw but hardening in response, Nick let out a puff of breath when Kain pushed inside again. He didnt penetrate deep, just rubbing the tip in and out. This time was face to face, a dance with Kain holding Nicks gaze, thumbing away the tear running down his cheek.

  “I dont know how I feel,” Nick whispered, another tear brimming. “Destroyed. Remade.” Kain didn t speak, leaning his forehead against Nicks, stroking with his body. Not so rough now.

  NICK woke in Kains bed, tangled against him like a bit of seaweed washed up on a beach after a storm, both of them still filthy, sticky.

  He sat up and winced, shoving the hair out of his eyes. “Shit,” he said, feeling the bruises, the bites white throbs on his shoulder and neck, his opening raw, coated with Kains dried spend.

  The spark of a match. Nick s eyes flared as he swallowed thickly, not sure who he was coiled against, the man or the beast? He watched as Kain lit three candles by the bed. Was he ready to face him now? Shit, he felt like hiding, like going to his studio in the house and processing what had happened on canvas after canvas in spattered color, jewel drops of feeling, before facing Kain in sober sepia light.

  Soft, pitiless, Kain asked,“Did you want it?” His head dropped. “Oh, fuck, did I…?”

  He had only a second to consider and knowing Kain, he went with the truth.

  “Yes, I wanted it.”

  “How could you? I all but….” Shame heated Kains unmarred cheek. His face was turned away, hiding the sc
ars, hiding the beast. “ No. I went searching for you.” Nick leaned his head against Kain, squeezing his eyes shut, hands clenched against Kains tense upper arms. Listen to me.“Subconsciously I knew what I might be inviting. I always knew with you, that you could be… wild.”

  Kain jerked away. “Yeah, a real encounter with Tarzan. A rough, messy, awkward fuck in the dirt. Very nice.” “ Primeval, yes,” Nick contradicted. “And I dont believe things are always ideal between… mates.” He cupped Kains cool cheek, stroking, gentling, seeing the acid of self-loathing acting on his lover and wanting to give him ease, as he had in the tangled garden of the night. “Its nice to be missed.”

  Kain gave a reluctant smile. “I cant believe you. I grab you by the ankle and pull you into the pit of the old cellar and… have you, and you see it as a Valentine.”

  “ A grubby Valentine, maybe. Believe in me, Kain. I told you I want to be with you, how I… feel about you. I dont know exactly what that means, but I wont be made afraid.”

  Kains gaze fell. He muttered to his thigh, “Was it that bad?” “ Dummy! I came twice.” Nick lifted a shoulder. “Good, bad…. Is that even relevant for us anymore? If I were to text Siren right now, what would he say about the chain of events that led to what happened between us?”

  Kain opened his mouth, paused.

  “Come on, give. I certainly did earlier.”

  “Hed say….” Kains gaze was fixed on his hands now. “It was your fault.” Nick s eyes widened. Then he chewed his lip, considering. “Because the human submissive has to be strong? The one to put the brakes on.”

  The tips of his ears pink in a way that made Nick s throat grip tight, Kain nodded. “Nick, there are times when I do lose control of myself. I want to taste you, roll in you. Sometimes even hurt you.”

  Nick sat up, crossing his legs, wincing a little, but determined to talk, to push this, until he settled this with Kain. “So is there some… training program for all this? Siren hinted there was. Like couples therapy for supernatural beings and their humans?”