“You get lost?” Kai’s voice echoed through the locker room.
The pool door was hidden behind a row of lockers; he couldn’t see me as I called back, “Almost ready.” His laugh lingered after the door shut. I threaded through my braid with fast fingers and pulled my hair into a tight bun. I avoided the mirror as I folded my overalls and set them on the bench. Without another glance, I exhaled.
“Here we go.”
I watched him as he finished his lap. The open atrium was warm and humid against my bare skin. The water splashed onto the tiled and concrete surface surrounding the regulation-size pool. I’d always observed from the safety of the bleachers. The pool seemed endless from ground level. It disappeared into the horizon of the huge, three-story floor-to-ceiling windows on the opposite side of the room. He moved through the water with grace. Elegant and violent, sharp and fast, I lost my breath watching him. My suit pushed against my breasts as I tried to breathe, the rise and fall of my chest more dramatic with each inhale and exhale. Stepping close to the edge, I waited.
He stopped mid stroke, his body breaking free from the water. His tan, wet, skin more real this close. The size of the pool wasn’t the only thing distorted from the height of the bleachers. His shoulders seemed massive. The cut of muscle in his arms, his chest, dripping under the surface of the water. I lifted my eyes to his, heat flaming in my cheeks and neck as he stared right back.
Kai
Wow.
The word repeated in my head.
Don’t say wow.
I had to remind myself how to breathe.
Christ.
Take a breath.
Skin. Too much pale, flawless, endless, smooth skin.
Don’t say it.
“Wow.” It whispered through my lips anyway.
“What?”
“Hi.” I forced a smile.
Draping her arm around her waist, Indie’s smile had a nervous edge to it. “Hey.”
This was the worst fucking idea I have ever had. That suit. That goddamn red suit hid nothing as she leaned to sit on the pool’s edge, exposing a modest amount of cleavage. Unsure of the water, she kept her eyes down as her feet slid into the pool, and my swallowed words stayed stuck in my throat. I watched as goosebumps trailed up her limbs, her nipples hardening under the fabric of her top, I tore my eyes away.
Tension weighted me in the water. Let me drown and never again think about her in red. Never again think about how soft the flat plane of her stomach would feel under my palms. How delicate her hips would be in my grip. How much I wanted her elegant legs wrapped around my waist, hidden under the surface of the water, chest to chest, close enough to feel the gentle push of her body, of those nipples, her breasts, understated and perfect. Made with elusive lines, her shadow small, she’d fit—snap into place—against my stubborn stone.
“I’m kind of terrified.” She laughed, gripping the pool wall.
I had to say something, had to pull my shit together. This was Royal’s sister, not some girl I should’ve been perving out about. The thought killed any burgeoning heat, and like I’d dipped my balls in a bucket of ice, I found the words I needed to say.
“Do you think I’d let you sink?”
Indie glanced at me, her golden lashes hiding the full color of her eyes as she chewed the side of her cheek. “No.”
“Then jump in.” Finding my breath, I smirked as her eyes widened.
“No way.”
“It’s the shallow end, O’Connell.”
She pressed her lips together, her smile fighting to escape.
I wanted to close the distance, take her hands in mine, and pull her in, but I didn’t trust myself. To see her like this, practically naked, in her simplicity, no makeup, no artifice, most likely with paint still under her nails, stunning. I had to picture something, anything, glue Royal’s face to hers to stop myself from getting hard. My suit was less than forgiving to the casual observer on my best days. An erection would be like a neon-freaking-sign tonight.
“Come here.”
She shook her head.
“Indie.”
Her cheeks went from porcelain to pink, and fuck it, I loved the reaction.
“Are you going to make me drag you in here?” I asked and took a tentative step toward her through the water.
She laughed again, curling in on herself, she held out her hand to caution me. “You wouldn’t.”
“Obviously you don’t know me very well.”
“Kai,” she warned, but I didn’t listen.
I lowered my body the rest of the way into the water and slowly swam toward her.
“Don’t you trust me?” I asked, trying to sound as serious as possible.
“Not at all.”
This was the worst idea I’d ever had, and maybe it was some basic need inside me that had to touch her, that drove me to the wall of the pool, that watched the pupils in her eyes dilate as I stood in front of her and said, “If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t be here.”
Indie’s lips parted, and I tried not to watch the rise and fall of her chest as I reached for her waist. I swear she stopped breathing altogether as my fingers found purchase on her skin. She was soft and warm, and as I lifted her from the edge, she grasped my shoulders, holding on to me for dear life.
I let my hands linger, even as her feet touched down on the floor of the pool, keeping a few inches between us, I promised, “I won’t let go until you’re ready.” I heard her suck in a breath, her fingers flexing against the muscle in my shoulder, she shivered. “Are you cold?”
“A little.” She looked up at me with a fragile smile.
“We should keep moving, let your body adjust to the temperature.”
“Okay.”
Releasing her, I said, “You can’t learn to swim until you learn to float.”
“Float,” she repeated, her hands still holding me like I was a raft.
Gently, I took each of her wrists and lowered her arms. Her spine stiffened, and I smoothed the pad of my thumb over the back of her hand. “Trust me.”
“I do.”
I’d never been this close to a girl without it leading down an explicit road. Every part of me wanted her, wanted to pull her body against me, but Indie wasn’t what I was used to. She was the promise of something better, something more, even if I had to force myself to keep it platonic, she was worth the acute pain.
Don’t cross the line.
I slid my hands up the length of her arm, turning her to face the side of the pool. Letting go, I brought my palm to the small of her back and said, “Lean against my hand.”
Every touch was like dragging my skin through the hot flame of a lighter, a battle for control. My fingers trailed along her spine a few inches higher, resting on the clasp of her suit.
“What now?” she asked, a shudder in her voice.
“You make it sound like I’m getting ready to murder you.”
She grinned. “Maybe you are?”
“Murder by drowning. Harsh.”
She splashed me with a wave of water and I coughed as I inhaled it on a laugh.
“Not funny.”
“I was running interference,” I offered once I caught my breath.
“Interference from what?”
I didn’t give her time to think and scooped her into my arms. Her scream echoed through the giant room. She struggled as I tried to cradle her legs.
“Indie, I’ve got you.”
She went still as I pulled her closer to my chest, her legs relaxing over my left arm. She brought her hands to her chest, trembling, she rested her chin on her knuckles.
“I feel stupid.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m like a little kid.”
“Trust me, you are not.” I wished the words away as soon as I said them.
She stared at me. “I’m trying to figure out if you just called me fat.”
I chuckled, and the fear evaporated from her eyes.
“Definitely not fat.”
She didn’t say anything, and the silence pulsed around us, heating my skin and hers. I realized I was tracing idle circles with my thumb between her shoulders blades and stopped when her face flushed.
“Still nervous?” I asked, trying to quietly step back over that imaginary line without being noticed.
“Not as much.”
“Good. Because in order to float, you have to be calm.”
“Floating in a pool is the least relaxing thing I can think of.”
“Lean all the way back.” Her eyes widened. “I’ll hold you up until you’re ready.”
“You swear.”
“I swear.”
Indie hesitated, and I was the total asshole taking advantage, stealing as many touches as I could, placing my hand on her lower back, and drawing calm fingertips across her skin. She relaxed under the touch and let herself fall backward as I guided her in the water. My right arm was under her shoulders as my left skirted dangerously close to the swell of her ass. She’d closed her eyes, and I was free to stare at her, admire the way the water absorbed into her silhouette, the way the stray wet strands of her straw-colored hair framed her heart-shaped face. Beads of water trickled down the front of her neck, on the tops of her thighs, her stomach, and my mouth went dry as I thought about tasting her, tasting each one of the drops warmed by her skin.
I was dying. Indie had come here thinking she would drown, but I was the one fighting to keep my head above water.
I moved my hand to the center of her back, letting the space between our bodies widen, and her eyes flew open. “Don’t let go.”
“I won’t. I’m giving you some room.”
“I don’t need room.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “Just listen. Hold your arms out. Let them float, too.”
Reluctantly, she did as I’d asked. I shifted my hold, taking the weight of her torso with my left hand, and letting her neck rest in the palm of my right. Her legs began to sink.
“You need to relax.”
“I can’t.”
“You can.” I kept my voice low and steady, and her skin prickled as I pressed the tips of my fingers softly along her neck, her pulse. “Close your eyes.” She watched me for one, two seconds, before her lashes fluttered closed and gave in. “Think about something, think about art…”
More time passed in silence, the quiet rhythm of her breathing the perfect soundtrack. I could tell the moment she’d stopped overthinking, her body weightless and buoyant with ease. I kept my hands as motionless as possible, barely touching her, letting the water take over.
“Am I floating?” she asked, breaking the spell as her body dipped back into my hands.
My laugh was quiet. “You were. Stop thinking about it.”
“Kai?”
When I looked down again, her eyes were open. “Yeah?”
“It’s not very relaxing… being inside my head.”
“Are they worse… when you’re stressed out?”
She closed her eyes, and I wondered if I’d embarrassed her.
“The voices? Yes.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
Blue eyes found mine. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”
“It’s kind of my fault. I’m making you do something you hate.”
“I can’t live in a bubble.” Her lips spread, her smile reaching her eyes right before she closed them.
“Does it help to talk?” I asked.
“Sometimes.”
“Then tell me something.”
Her fingers dusted against my bottom rib, but I was sure she hadn’t noticed. I noticed though, and my heart thrummed inside my chest.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, a memory? Something you don’t usually tell people.”
“I already told you about my voices.”
“You’re more than your voices, Indie.”
She kept her eyes shut, and I watched as she swallowed.
“Before Royal and I were born, my dad and his two brothers renovated the apartment we live in. It’s really nice, kind of like a loft. Industrial. We have our own studio and everything.”
“Sounds cool.”
Indie let her arms sway in the water as she continued, her body like a feather in my hands. “I think I was nine or ten, Royal and I had wanted to have a sleepover, and I remember I woke up because I was cold. It had snowed all day, white, white, white, and Royal had stolen all the blankets.” Her laugh felt almost private. “There was music playing, and I followed it down the hall to the studio. I heard my dad laughing, and it was so rare. He smiled all the time, but he was laughing, full and open, and it pulled me to the door. I didn’t want to get in trouble for being up late so I cracked it open as quietly as I could.”
“What happened?” I whispered not wanting her to realize she was floating all on her own. I wasn’t even touching her anymore.
“Nothing. I mean, nothing anyone else besides me would notice, but it had been the biggest moment of my life. I opened the door and my mom was wrapped up in my dad’s arms with her head leaning back, smiling as he buried his face in her neck. He had red paint all over his chest and arms. It was on her pants and in her hair. The painting behind them was covered in what seemed like a thousand different shades of red. It was the safest I’d ever felt. It wasn’t anything more than an embrace between two people, but I felt it, I felt the color red as it filled my heart, and maybe it was the beginning of my illness, but ever since then everything has a color.”
Red.
Like her suit.
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
“What color am I?
“Violet.”
Violet.
Bruised.
She opened her eyes.
“You’re floating.”
“Oh my God.”
I took a few steps back and let her drift in the water on her own.
“Kai, don’t let me sink,” she said, the panic in her voice palpable.
“Stop thinking.”
“Kai?”
“I’m right here.” I reached for her, touching her back with my palm. “See, I told you. I’ve got you.”
She moved before I could stop her. It all happened too quickly, and in hindsight, I probably should have warned her that we’d drifted toward the center of the pool. It was deeper here, and with how short she was, there was no touching bottom when she tried to stand. Her head went under only for a second before I grabbed her waist and pulled her toward me. Indie’s legs enveloped me, her arms clasped around my neck as her breasts crushed against my chest with each frightened breath. If she wasn’t so freaked out, I might’ve enjoyed this for a second, but she’d buried her face in my neck, and I hoped to God she wasn’t crying.
I rubbed soothing lines across her back with the heel of my palm as I walked us toward shallow water. “Shh. You’re okay.”
Trembling hands fell to my shoulders as she pulled away enough to look at me. Her irises were blue flames against her pale skin. “I’m not crying.” Indie shoved my arm, her legs winding around my body even tighter, drawing us closer together. “You said you wouldn’t let me sink.”
“I told you to float.”
Her mouth was maybe three inches from my mouth. Each breath we took shortened the distance for two agonizing seconds, and I watched with envy as a rivulet of water dripped over the curve of her lips. I clenched my jaw, imagining what it would be like to lick them, to bite with soft intentions. Her fingers were a hot brand, and I was driven by reckless need as my hand slipped lower than it should have, the tip of my thumb teasing the waistline of her bikini. The humidity of the room was electric, heavy, and as I leaned in, her eyes fell to my mouth. She exhaled and it tickled my lips. Every hair on my body stood with the static of her. Her scent surrounded me, mixed in the air with the smell of chlorine. I could kiss her, and by the way her heart thudded inside the crook of her neck, I could convince myself she wanted me to, tell myself lines were me
ant to be crossed, but I’d already messed up enough for one year.
“You can put your feet down now.”
Indie met my stare, her eyes glassy as she found her footing. The pull between us snapped like a rubber band stretched to its limit.
Letting go of her waist, I pushed a wet piece of hair from her forehead. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She exhaled and it stuttered past her shy smile. “I really floated?”
I nodded. “All by yourself.”
“Can I try again?”
“Yeah?”
“You can’t let go, Kai, ever.”
“I won’t.”
“Swear on something.”
“I swear on Chinese food.”
“Now that’s a promise.”
Her laughter washed over me as she raised her hands to my shoulders, and I thought, with the brush of her fingertips on my skin, I understood what it meant to feel red.
Indigo
My palms rested on the surface of the water, my arms extended, I floated. Left alone inside my head, all I could hear was the thundering beat of my heart. I was grateful Kai had only switched on a few of the lights; the dim fluorescence seemed to illuminate the water from underneath, affording me a thin veil to hide behind. I’d like to pretend he hadn’t noticed the effect he had on my body. Melting every nerve, sending a flash of heat down every limb. Silent in the water, his touch hot against my thighs, my arms, my back, every part of my body wanted to know his fingerprints. I only hoped the blush blooming in my stomach hadn’t made its way to my face. He was too close to miss it. Even with my eyes shut, it was next to impossible to try and picture anyone else in this pool with me. The scent of his damp skin heightened the smell of his soap, and the warmth of his breath dusted over my cheeks as he exhaled.
“I want to ask you a question, but don’t answer it if it’s too personal.” The butterflies in my stomach took flight at the sound of his voice.
“Okay.”
I kept my eyes closed as his hand trailed up my thigh, holding my breath as he skirted around my backside, following the line of my hip to the small of my back. My pulse was alive in places I didn’t even think I had a pulse. I inhaled, hoping he didn’t notice the army of goosebumps scattering across my belly.
Seven Shades of You Page 14