Making Memories

by S J Batsford

  “Your point being?” I ask, already tired of this conversation.

  “My point, is that you shouldn’t be bringing new men into their lives.”

  “What?!” I ask, astonished at his audacity. “Man,” I say holding a finger up to him. “One man, not men” I add, “and that man happens to love those babies as if they were his own,” I finish, my chest heaving after barely taking two breathes in between sentences.

  His eyes flash at my last statement, I know he is about to explode and brace myself for it. So, when he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath I’m taken back.

  “No man, and I mean no man will ever love the twins more than me, ever. I am their father and always will be,” he says quietly, his tone deadly, his eyes never leave mine, he makes sure I know he’s serious. Sighing, I sit on the edge of the table and pinch the bridge of my nose to contain my temper as best I can.

  “I get that you love our kids, Ethan, I do, but you cannot dictate who I have in my life. Jackson is a good man and I love him more than I ever thought possible after what you put me through, please don’t try and ruin this for me.” I say, trying to reason with him, but I hate the pleading in my voice. When all I get in return is stony silence I look up and flinch at the devastation on his face, I didn’t say all that to hurt him, but I won’t take it back, it’s the truth.

  “Well, he better not treat them badly because they’re not his or he’ll deal with me.” He snaps angrily and storms out slamming the front door so hard behind him the window beside it rattles.

  “Bloody moron,” I mutter to myself, my head falling back in exhaustion.

  “I could think of stronger words to describe him… But I won’t,” Jackson says softly, I turn to him, smiling gratefully as he approaches me holding Eliza and Seb on each strong arm.

  “Hey, sorry about that,” I sigh wearily, holding my arms out for one of the twins.

  “What do you have to be sorry about? I heard every word he said…” He sits at the table never breaking his rhythm of rocking Eliza. “You know I would never treat them badly, right?” He asks, looking down at my daughter his finger clutched in her hand as she sleeps peacefully in his arms.

  “Of course, I know that, did you not hear what I said to him?” I ask, moving into the chair beside him and nudging him to turn toward me.

  “I did and it’s true, I do love them and you, I just don’t want you to ever think I would do what he said. I’m not that kind of man, I knew the three of you came as a package deal from the beginning,” he says softly and kisses Eliza’s head, my heart can barely contain the love that is exploding through my chest seeing him like this and hearing his words. This is the difference between my relationship with Ethan if you can call it that and our relationship, I know every word out of Jackson’s mouth is the truth, it’s spoken from his heart, his words aren’t empty promises like Ethan’s were.

  “How about we settle down with a movie?” Jax asks, making me grin he knows how I love to cuddle and watch movies.

  “Anything to feel you under me,” I say and wink, chuckling quietly he gets up and takes my hand.

  “You can have that whenever you like,” he whispers back and lays a chaste kiss on my upturned lips.

  Chapter 4

  After Ethan’s tantrum last Saturday, I expect to hear from him, when all I get is radio silence from him the following week, I get angry, not for me or the apology he owes me and Jackson but for the twins. He hasn’t even called to see how they are, or to confirm that he’ll be here to spend time with them this weekend, so I decide to plan our tree choosing outing for Saturday instead. Jackson thinks I should call Ethan and find out if he’s coming or not, so he can’t talk shit about me, but I’m not going to let him act like he has the past week and sit around waiting on him.

  So here we are sitting on the floor playing with the twins on a Friday night whilst waiting on our pizza to arrive, not exactly a hot date but I love it. Precious moments, with my family. I smile at the thought and blow a raspberry on Liza’s belly, who kicks and grasps my hair, tugging it from my bobble. Chuckling Jax gently pries my hair from her hand and kisses her hand.

  “So, did you text Mason?” He asks, and I gasp.

  “Shit, I knew there was something I had to do,” I say, reaching for my phone.

  “We knew she’d forget, didn’t we?” He asks in a childish voice and both the twins return in baby talk, I scowl playfully over my phone.

  Me: Hey, we’re going to pick up a tree tomorrow, you wanna come along?

  “Is Cora coming too?” He asks as I put my phone beside me.

  “Yeah, I called her yesterday. She approves of me not sitting around waiting on Ethan,” I reply, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

  “Of course she does, she can’t stand to even hear his name, which is a plus for me I guess,” he smirks.

  “You think so?” I ask cheekily.

  “Mmm, she likes me so that’s a step in the right direction.”

  “Jax, compared to Ethan you walk on water to my Nan,” I giggle as I finally get a reply from Mace, he is normally faster, but he has been busier lately.

  Mace: What time?

  Me: Around 5pm. We’re having tea here first.

  Mace: That depends, can I come for dinner? ;p

  Me: If you must, lol.

  Mace: Oh, I can feel so much love… I thought you loved me?

  Me: Hmm.

  Mace: I’m your bestest brother!

  I laugh and turn my phone to show Jackson, he laughs and shakes his head.

  “You two are definitely brother and sister.”

  Me: Since you’re my only brother, I suppose you have a point… You may come to tea.

  Mace: Why thank you, my lady.

  Me: You are most welcome.

  All I get in reply is a gif of someone giving the finger, I laugh and throw my phone on the sofa and get back to family time.

  I wake to my alarm clock playing Last Christmas, one of my favourite songs. It sparks my imagination, images of snow and Christmas trees come to mind, making me smile. The perfect start to our day. My smile gets bigger thinking of all the fun we’ll have today, I already feel the spirit of Christmas seeping into my bones. That burst of childish joy you only get at this time of year, makes me giggle like a little girl.

  “You’re happy this morning,” Jackson murmurs sleepily into my ear, making me squeal. I don’t need to see him to know he’s laughing at me, I can feel the bed shaking with his silent laughter.

  “Tosser,” I mutter and smack his leg scowling.

  “Language, young lady,” he admonishes stealing a quick kiss before getting up. My train of thought is interrupted by the muscles in his arse, it’s hypnotic. He gives a little wiggle before disappearing into the bathroom, breaking my lustful stare, my eyes burn and water causing me to blink rapidly. I groan in disappointment when I hear the shower turn on, I was hoping he’d come back to bed, I had plans for those gorgeous cheeks of his, including my nail marks embedded in them.

  Instead of joining him like my body wants me to, I check on the twins, luckily, they’re still snoozing. So, I go to my desk and turn on my laptop. Forgoing my usual project, for now, I click on a new document and jot down the idea I had for a new book.

  Before I know it, I have the whole book outlined and ready to go, I am so excited to begin this. Maybe as a surprise for Jackson? I grin, feeling giddy at the thought of him reading it.

  “What are you up to?” Jackson asks, creeping up on me. I jump and minimise the page.

  “Nothing, just a new idea,” I reply smiling up at him.

  “Oh, when do I get to read it?” He asks, his excitement evident. He is so sweet, he insists on reading every word I write. I’ve never known a man enjoy romance before, well not voluntarily anyway.

  “I’ll let you know when it’s done,” I say closing my laptop, he pouts giving his best puppy dog eyes.

  “But that could take forever…”

  “No, I have
it outlined already, so all I have to do is start writing.” I smile bigger watching his eyebrows shoot up.

  “Wow, you must really like this storyline. Can I at least have a clue?”

  “Sorry, no can do. You’d guess and it’s a surprise.” I wink leaving him sulking as I go for my shower.

  Once I’m showered and dressed I go to check on the twins again, but Jackson has already beaten me to it. He has a sleepy Seb in his arms, talking to him quietly while Eliza sleeps on peacefully in her cot.

  “What are my boys up to?” I whisper coming to stand beside Jackson and kiss Seb’s chubby cheek.

  “Just man talk,” Jackson replies turning his head for his kiss, smiling I give him a long, wet kiss. “Mmm, that’s mean,” he moans as I pull away.

  “Paybacks a bi... Bill,” I say, changing the word quickly.

  “Bill?” Jackson asks laughing.

  “It’s all I could come up with quickly, besides bills are painful,” I say affronted.

  “You have a point there, but as a writer I’d have thought you could have come up with something more creative.”

  “Yeah, well, no one said I was a good writer,” I reply scowling.

  “Don’t start that again. I’ve read everything you’ve written, and I love it, you know what I think...”

  “Ugh, don’t start that again. I’m not doing it,” I sigh and lean over the cot to check my little lady’s nappy which needs changing, so I grab a nappy and wipes from the shelf.

  “I’m not pushing, I just think you could do it, that’s all.” He holds a hand up as if to defend himself.

  “I know, and I love you for it,” I sigh, kneeling in front of him, I take his hand in mine. “I know you mean well and you’re very supportive, but I have to decide if I want to make that leap. It’ll be a lot of work and with the twins…” I stroke Seb’s cheek.

  “I’d be here to help, plus you have Cora and Mace… I’m sure even Ethan would help too,” he says, and I grin seeing how it pained him to even utter his name.

  “I do, I’m truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.” We share a smile, so much love shines from his eyes, I could never doubt his feeling for me when he looks at me like that.

  “Okay, let’s get the day started. I am so excited to get our first tree. Can we go out a little earlier and grab some new ornaments?” He asks, joy visibly bursting from him. “I saw some cute, my first Christmas things in the mall,” he adds.

  I sigh dreamily, I know total girly moment, but I don’t care. “If I didn’t already love you, I would after that,” I say and draw him into a deep kiss which is broken way too soon by Seb tugging on my hair. We pull apart laughing, looking down at his beautiful face, I smile and brush a gentle kiss on his forehead whispering ‘I love you’ in his ear before getting up to change Eliza before her nappy bursts.

  Half way through changing her she opens her eyes and smiles up at me. “Good morning beautiful,” I whisper, kissing her little hand.

  “Mmm,” she babbles batting her arms.

  “Ma, ma,” I repeat smiling.

  “Mmm.”

  “Close enough, sweetheart.” I kiss her head and lift her out of the cot.

  “I wonder what his first word will be,” Jackson says absently, looking down at Seb’s little face.

  “We’ll have to wait and see what both their first words are.”

  “We already know Eliza’s is going to be momma,” He says smiling affectionately.

  “That or daddy,” I mutter my smile dimming a little.

  “Nope, definitely momma, you’ll see,” he replies winking, as he gets up and follows me out the door.

  We try to get the twins to eat some porridge and end up with more on the walls and ceiling than in their bellies. How it gets up there I have no idea… But both Jackson and the twins find it so funny.

  “I don’t know what you’re laughing at,” I say pointing at Jackson who looks at me still laughing. “You are cleaning that up,” I add throwing a cloth at him and burst out laughing as it hits him square in the face making a splatting noise. Reaching up he pulls it off. His face though… Getting up he stalks toward me, holding up my hands in front of me I try to speak without laughing.

  “I… I D-didn’t m-mean to,” I stutter and bite my lip.

  “Oh, but I think you did.” His voice sends a shiver down my spine.

  “I swear, I didn’t,” I breathe, damnit maybe I’d be more convincing if I could stop laughing… But the bubbles on his chin are making it worse, he looks like Santa.

  “Hmm, seems to me that you may be telling lies, Miss, Carter,” He whispers, bending down to look me in the eyes. I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything.

  “I think a little retribution is in order, don’t you?” He asks, his arms caging me in as I try to move past him.

  “Don’t even think about it, Garcia,” I warn poking him in the chest with my finger. I don’t see or feel him move until I feel the trickle of water down my neck and chest, screeching, I try and move away but he has me pinned. Laughing he grabs more water and tips it down my front, my t-shirt is soaked and sticking to my chest.

  “Well, this is an unexpected treat,” he says distractedly, looking down at my chest. I look down and see what he means, my t-shirt is totally see-through and I’m not wearing a bra!

  “My knickers are wet,” I say, and his eyebrows shoot up.

  “Well, that wasn’t my intention, but I do love making you wet,” he whispers huskily.

  “I didn’t mean that,” I object laughing, his eyes are yet to move from my chest. “Getting a good look?”

  “How can I not?” He asks, his hand moving up my waist.

  “The twins, Jackson,” I whisper, my breathing picking up. I’m so turned on, I’d drop to my knees right here right now if the twins weren’t in the room.

  “Sorry,” he winces and steps back adjusting himself.

  “Don’t be, I am so turned on right now,” I whisper, giving him a quick squeeze making him groan.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” he mutters before disappearing.

  “Damn.” I blow out a breath sinking into the nearest chair.

  “Mmm,” Eliza babbles, slapping her hands on the highchair.

  I turn my attention to the twins watching them babble to each other, obviously understanding what the other is saying even if we don’t.

  Chapter 5

  by the time we arrive there are quite a few families milling around looking for the perfect tree for them. The excitement in the minivan is almost palpable, I don’t know who is more excited out of the four of us. Getting out I grab the baby carriers from the boot. We decided to forgo the double pram foreseeing there being a problem getting it around. I start to strap one to me as Jackson grabs the other.

  “What are you doing?” Mace asks, scowling at me.

  “What does it look like?” I laugh.

  “You can’t carry the babies.”

  “Er, yeah, I can. I carried them for nearly nine months,” I shoot back indignantly, my hands now on my hips my hackles are up.

  “No, what I mean is I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to carry either Eliza or Seb around in there. It’s packed, and people may push you, they could get hurt. There’s less chance of them being bashed about if Jackson and I carry them,” he explains his eyes softening, soothing my ruffled feathers.

  “Well, when you put it like that you don’t sound like a sexist pig,” I mutter and go to hand over the carrier. “Hold on. Who is gonna carry the tree if you two have the babies?” I ask, looking from one to the other. They look at each other, then over at me and Nan.

  “Hey, I’m too old to be carrying trees,” Nan pipes up, backing away with her arms behind her back as if someone were going to dump a tree on her.

  “Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this,” I say, unfastening Eliza’s belt and passing her to Mace before going back for Seb. Once they’re both secure with their assigned adult we set off. Nan
clutching my arm excitedly, I place my hand over hers smiling once again thanking God for the blessings I have.

  We walk around twice, both Jackson and Mace looking closely at each tree and its branches, apparently, you can see the health of a tree by their branches. Who knew?

  “Your Grandpa was the same, he was very picky when it came to our tree. It got to the point where he started growing his own,” Nan whispers, chuckling.

  “Must be a male thing then.” I shrug, I don’t care, I’m enjoying watching them inspect the trees and debate about which was better. I hum along with the Christmas music and take in the feels and smells of Christmas. “Hey, I saw a bloke selling hot chocolate and gingerbread back there, anyone want any?” I ask, interrupting them mid flow. They turn scowling at me and shake their heads. “Okay then, Nan?” I ask.

  “I’ll come with you and leave the girls to their bickering.” She chuckles and starts to pull me away.

  We weave our way through the huge trees. I hope we remember the way back. I frown and look behind me, I can’t see or hear Jackson, Mace or the twins…

  “Don’t worry we’ll find them. They both have their phones, right?” Nan asks, I look at her and nod blowing out a breath.

  “What can I get you beautiful ladies?” The young chap asks behind the table.

  Nan looks at me her eyes twinkling and titters. Oh god! The poor bloke.

  “Oh, what a nice young man,” Nan gushes, acting the sweet old lady. He smiles at her, it’s a smile full of innocent charm. She’ll eat him alive. I suppress my laugh, barely.

  “What’ll it be beautiful?” He asks again his attention solely on my Nan.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I can’t choose, everything looks so delicious,” she replies not even looking at the food in front of her. The poor guy blinks and flushes almost dropping the cup in his hand.

  “Er, I um…” He stutters, looking to me for help, I look away concentrating on the food. “W-well, the gingerbread is nice.”

  “Hmm, is it sweet?” She asks.