Be Your Downfall

by Lizzie Fox

  I shoved my keys in my jacket pocket as I walked the short distance between the lot and the café and shrugged out of it. It had to be nearing about sixty today and I was already sweating. Not exactly a great first impression to make on your future roommate. The door opened with a jingle of a bell, and I stood in the lobby, looking for some edgy guy sitting in front of a computer who looked like they’d drive a car like that.

  There was no guy in the café. In fact, the only person period—let alone the only person on a computer—was the most fucking gorgeous woman I had ever seen. What was more? Something about her was familiar as hell. That couldn’t be Jesse? Jesse is a woman? A hot woman?

  No way. There was no way I’d be that lucky.

  Suddenly, I was a bundle of nerves. Anxiety wasn’t a stranger to me, but being nervous around a woman I’d never met? Asinine. I cleared my throat and hoped that my gangly walk wasn’t too awkward as I approached the table. She was clearly entranced with whatever she was doing on the computer; her fingers flew over the keyboard a mile a minute, and she leaned over the wooden table top, wearing a jade-green t-shirt that was cut low, exposing an ample view of a couple of nicely sized breasts, and the hint of a tattoo hidden by her shirt. Her golden-brown hair tumbled over her shoulder, and she flicked it back behind her. I stopped in my tracks, feeling my breath catch in my chest. No… it couldn’t be.

  I about lost it. Heart stopped right in my chest, and all the air escaped my lungs. Not only did I suddenly have the biggest hard-on that I had to hide with my jacket, I knew this girl.

  There was no way this could be her.

  Then she looked up at me with that red, glossy heart-shaped mouth, and lifted those golden-flecked, jade green eyes, and I was stunned. I knew those eyes, and those lips. My mouth dropped open and I gasped; so did she.

  “You’re… Vodka Girl?” I said, dumbfounded as she pointed to me at the same time, and said,

  “You’re that singer from that band?”

  I’ll be fucking damned. Suddenly, life just got a whole lot brighter.

  3

  Jessalie

  My heart skipped a beat. Several, in fact, and fell into my stomach with the weight of an anvil when the hottest guy I’d ever seen approached my table. He had jet black hair, alabaster skin, eyes the color of molten honey, and tattoos up his arms, over his hands, and down some of his fingers. His lip was pierced, as was his right eyebrow. It was him… how could it be him? It just wasn’t possible! I had to be mistaken…

  “Vodka girl?” He said in that deep, low voice I remembered from a year ago and I trembled gently. Yeah, it was him. No other voice I’d ever heard had the ability to make me shiver like that.

  “You’re that singer from that band?” I said just after him, sitting there confused, surprised, and a little turned on. “Vodka girl?”

  “That’s you, isn’t it? That girl I spilled the vodka on that night at the bar? I was the—”

  “—lead singer, yeah I know exactly who you are. And it was a Long Island.” I replied, my mouth agape with shock. “You’re not—Seth Archer, are you?”

  “I am,” he replied. “Jesse Reynolds?”

  “Ah, yeah.” I replied, with a nervous high-pitched laugh. “It’s Jessalie, actually. But everyone gets it wrong, so…”

  “Jessalie,” he said, the quirk of a smile on his mouth. I shivered again, hearing my name on his lips with that voice was… thrilling to say the least. “It’s beautiful, actually. I like it.” He snorted, shaking his head. “Not that it matters…” He motioned into the bench across from me, silently asking for permission to sit and I just nodded as he folded his tall body into the seat. “Better than Vodka Girl. When I didn’t know your name, that’s how I referred to you in my mind later.”

  How was it possible that that singer—that same guy from a year ago—was now standing before me, looking utterly gorgeous, and he was the one needing a roommate?

  “You—thought of me?” I asked, shocked.

  “I kept hoping I’d run into you again that night,” Seth replied.

  “I did too. I waited for a bit but I never saw you again…” I said, trying to fight my sullen frown.

  Seth grimaced. “Afraid that was my fault. I…got hurt. Sort of. But I walked around looking for you again. I must have just missed you.”

  “Must have...”

  “Well...shit. Here we are now, then. What are you doing in Independence Point?”

  “Oh.” My mouth set in a line. “I needed a change. My life sorta… went to shit so I’m starting over. But—aren’t you from Minneapolis? Or around there? That’s where your band was from, right?”

  He nodded. “It was, actually. But I am actually from Madison. I was living out there for a while with a buddy when I joined the band, but we broke up a couple of months later. My buddy—”

  “—Fever Pitch, right?” I asked, even though I knew damn well who they were. I scoured Google for them for weeks after. If they broke up, that’s probably why I couldn’t find anything about them. Dammit.

  “That’s right. Wes was the guitarist and after we split, he introduced me to his cousin. His band needed a lead singer and—here I am,” He said, with a shrug. “I moved here a year ago and I’ve been staying with a friend, our bassist. But he just got married so…”

  I wrinkled my nose. “That must be… awkward.” He nodded vigorously, his eyes wide with mock disdain and I had to chuckle; he was adorable.

  “So…” I ran my hand through the length of my hair, and tried to avoid that deep, hazel-eyed stare that was making me blush and turning my spine to jelly. “How—you’re really looking for a roommate?”

  “Yeah. But…” Seth scrubbed his hand over his face; his fingers gently scratching at the dark shadow of stubble on his jawline.

  “This complicates things, huh? You probably don’t want to live with a woman,” I said, with a snicker.

  Seth’s eyes quirked slightly like he wanted to say something. “Does it matter? You need someone to live there, I need somewhere to go. What is the house like?”

  “I…” I stammered, suddenly completely entranced, watching him run the tip of his tongue over the piercing in his lip. Holy… that is so beyond sexy. I wonder what else he could do with that tongue?

  “Jessie?”

  I shook myself out of my daze, Seth was smirking at me and it was oh-so delicious; my heart literally skipped a beat. “I… I am not sure it’s a good idea.” It’s not a good idea because I’m so obviously attracted to you, I’ll probably drive myself crazy wanting to sleep with you the entire time you’re there.

  “Why not?” Seth crooked his brow, the one with a bar through it. I noticed then that it was slightly arched, just a bit higher than the other, giving him somewhat of a permanent, sexy smirk. I swallowed gently, trying to remind myself to not ogle him. Though all I wanted to do was memorize that face with my mind. Every part of it.

  “I…” I didn’t have a good answer for him. It was one thing to live with someone who you had no interest in, but someone you did? That could escalate a relationship real fast. And that was probably a bad idea.

  Right?

  Let’s not discuss the fact that aside from Blake, the only man I’d ever dreamed of was sitting right in front of me now.

  “Can I at least see it?” He asked hopefully.

  How could I say no? “Sure. I mean… maybe you’ll hate it. Heck I haven’t even spent more than a night or two there myself though I’ve been moving in for a couple of weeks now.”

  He shrugged nonchalantly, the corner of his sexy mouth twitching into a slight smile that made my stomach swoop inside. “Works for me.”

  “Is… this a good idea though?” I leaned over the table, setting my elbows on the surface and clasping my hands in front of me. I was trying to appear confident and casual but really I did it so I could stop shaking. Just being this close to him was making me nervous as all hell. The fact that this guy wanted to live with me… well that was just crazy.<
br />
  No, he wanted to live with “Jesse,” not “Jessalie.”

  “Wait,” I asked, a sudden thought occurred to me. “Why did you look for me later that night?” Maybe I was just imagining this attraction; or it’s just one sided.

  “The night I spilled booze all over you?”

  “I’m pretty sure I spilled it all over myself,” I said, with a chuckle.

  “Well…” he paused thoughtfully. “You mean it isn’t obvious?”

  I cocked my head and gave him a reproachful look. “Humor me.”

  He stretched out one of his long arms over the back of the bench, and casually leaned back. I swallowed, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks. Holy crap… I don’t know why just that simple act was so alluring, but he wore a relaxed grin on his insanely attractive face that said his sexiness was effortless. “Because… I wanted to ask you out, that’s why.”

  My heart thumped in my chest like a snare drum. My throat went dry and I tried to speak, but nothing came out. Nothing but one of the most awkward questions I probably could have asked:

  “How old are you?” The one thing I remembered that night, besides how smoldering hot he was, was how young he looked.

  He seemed taken aback. “Does it matter?”

  “I—” I snapped my mouth shut. “I guess not, but…”

  He chuckled easily. Some of his jet-black hair tumbled into his eyes and he smoothed it back with a hand. I nearly passed out, and all he did was run his hands through his hair. “I’m twenty-six.”

  I blew out a breath. “Oh, thank god…”

  His brow immediately flew up. “Thank god?”

  “I…” I giggled uneasily. “I just thought you were like, super, super young. I mean you’re still young, but—”

  Seth leaned forward again, folding his arms one over the other on the table. I noticed that his fingers drummed on the table top, and he shifted often, like he had a hard time sitting still. “Age is just a number don’t you think?”

  A slow smile spread across my lips, and Seth beamed widely. I didn’t know why, really. But something about what he said…

  “Blake! We’re eighteen! We’re too young to get married!”

  But with a flash of that wide smile and a wink of one of those ocean-blue eyes, I was completely helpless. “Age is just a number, and I was never good at math. Why let a number decide your fate, huh?”

  “Jessie?”

  “Oh.” I blushed, trying to avoid his penetrative, honey-eyed stare. “Sorry, something you said… reminded me of someone I once knew.”

  “Good, or bad?”

  “Good, I guess. But…” I sighed heavily, pushing thoughts of Blake out of my mind.

  “But?” He prompted. Another crook of that damn, gently arched brow, and it was all I could do to bite my lip to stop myself right there from saying something stupid. Or doing something stupid. Because the way my heart fluttered in my chest, and the swooping feeling roiling in my stomach reminded me of that night… that very night I caught Blake’s eye across the bleachers. And the feeling didn’t go away until long, long after he was buried and cold in the ground. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that way ever again; like looking in someone’s eyes and seeing your entire future mapped out before you. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. What in the hell was I thinking?

  “I like that ink.” Seth suddenly said, and I stared at him strangely. Leaning slightly over the table, his arm reached across, and barely brushed his fingers over mine, that were absentmindedly touching the right side of my chest, just an inch or so over my right breast.

  I glanced down and smiled self-consciously. “This is nothing, not compared to all that you have.”

  “Not true,” Seth replied. “I can tell by the way you’re touching it, it means something to you, and that makes it beautiful no matter how it looks. Or how you think it looks.”

  How…? I blinked at him, dumbfounded. He said the exact perfect thing. I didn’t go out of my way to show it to people, because it was so personal. But despite my better judgment, I gently pulled the V-neck of my t-shirt aside, fully exposing the bright sun, complete with rays in front of a small blue backdrop of sky; the same color of Blake’s eyes. The sun—the bright light—always reminded me of him; his wide smile, the way he always lit up a room…

  I usually tried to hide it because people would ask, and I would have to go through the story all over again. “Oh it’s for my husband. He died because I couldn’t stop him from staring down the barrel of a gun and taking his own life.”

  It also intimidated the hell out of Adam, my ex. So, I just hid it; the only time he saw it was when we slept together, but it was always dark when we did so he could ignore it.

  Something about Seth made me want to spill all my secrets. I wasn’t sure if I liked that. I wasn’t sure that I didn’t either.

  “Does it mean anything?” Seth asked carefully; he eyed me like a farmhand and a skittish pony.

  “No.” I slid the shirt back in place. “I just liked it.”

  Seth nodded slowly. “I see.” By the easy narrow of one of his eyes I could tell he wasn’t convinced, but I was grateful he didn’t comment further on it.

  Sighing deeply, I pressed my fingers to my temple. “Okay… really is this a good idea? If you were going to ask me out then… won’t that complicate things? Living together, and all?”

  Seth grinned widely. “Hey, I can behave myself. Just because I’m a singer doesn’t mean I’m a cad. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

  I snorted. Please don’t be… But I just smiled gently instead.

  “Since we’re in a café, can I get you a coffee? What do you like? We can talk a bit and if you decide I’m an asshole, I’ll take away my offer to be your roommate. Deal?”

  I nodded hesitantly in agreement.

  “So, what do you like? Latte? Mocha? Something sweet?” He shot me a cute, sideways smile.

  “You’re a flirt,” I replied, with an easy laugh.

  He shrugged. “Eh, not really. I’m actually pretty awkward. Not sure what it is about you that is making me otherwise. Just wait, I’ll do something real dumb here soon. Like spill the coffee on you like I did that drink,” he said, with a disgraceful snort and roll of his eyes.

  “I spilled it on myself. I saw you on that stage… there was nothing awkward about you.” Nothing at all. He was hot, with the way he tapped his feet, shook his hips, or strutted his stuff across the stage was this guy was a rock god. And probably insatiable in bed. Immediately my hand went behind my neck, touching the blush the thought put there. I smiled uneasily.

  “Jessie?” He asked, with a little smirk. Right. The coffee.

  “Just black coffee.”

  “Black? Nothing in it?” He asked, surprised. Though, I didn’t know why…

  “No? Is that… strange?”

  “No,” he said with an easy laugh. “That’s just the way I like it.” He winked gently while I chuckled at him. “Okay then. I’ll be right back.” He slid out of the bench and walked off towards the counter. I peered around the tables, cocking a brow, watching him walk away. His jeans sat dangerously low on his hips, and his ass was definitely a nice couple of handfuls. He had that typical, angsty-alternative rocker vibe going about him; all he needed was black nail polish and eyeliner and he’d resemble someone like Dave Navarro. I laughed silently to myself, wondering if he would even know who that was. Jeez, Jessalie; you aren’t that far apart in age…

  He suddenly turned and threw me a smile over his shoulder. I blushed intensely, feeling my cheeks heat, both from being caught, and from the seductiveness of his grin.

  And then, he proceeded to walk into a display of plastic mugs because he wasn’t watching where he was going, and he turned to watch in horror as several of them tumbled and fell to the ground. I snickered and laughed loudly because his face turned bright red; it was completely endearing and adorable. He turned to me, shrugged, and cracked up laughing as he bent over to pick up the
items he so ungraciously spilled to the ground. I guessed, there was the awkward. Now, that was completely the opposite of Blake, who was coolly confident all the time. This I could get used to.

  Why was I thinking this?

  I knew why… because this man—Seth Archer—had me totally, and utterly captivated from the first moment I saw him at the Lagoona, and even more now.

  And he wanted to be my roommate? There was no “roommate.” If I agreed to let him live there, it was going to be more than roommates. From the get-go. I could probably fool myself for a short time that I wasn’t interested… because I was afraid. Afraid of something new, afraid of moving on… but the feigned disinterest wouldn’t last forever. It couldn’t.

  I was in deep, deep trouble.

  4

  Seth

  Nice going, Archer, you dumbass. The entire way up to the counter I was thinking, don’t be awkward, don’t be awkward…

  Then I caught her eyeing me and all judgement and common sense flew right out the window, down the road and straight onto the highway during rush hour. Oh, hi there, damn display of coffee mugs I’ve only seen about fifty times of all the times I’ve come here.

  Fuck. Me.

  Then I reach the counter, so flustered I could barely speak words. How in the hell is it that I can be so stupefied by a single woman, but I can stand on a stage, in front of hundreds and sing my heart out? Even run around a stage and command an audience? Okay I wasn’t always that commanding. That first night was almost a disaster.

  It was because of her— Jessalie Reynolds—that I’d been able to do it at all. The one person to not only completely confound my brain, but give me an instant hard on I was still trying to diffuse by thinking of sweaty old men on the beach in skimpy swim trunks.

  Living with this woman? This was going to be real, real interesting. And maybe I shouldn’t do it but fuck that. I’m not passing up this opportunity. Things like this didn’t happen, and they certainly didn’t happen to me. You didn’t get a second chance with the one who got away.