Accepting Elijah's Heart

by M. Michelle Derosier

  “Just take my word it was meant as a compliment.”

  “Hmm. If you say so.”

  “I say so.”

  Chapter 10

  Eli strode back to the main hall and paused to watch how comfortably carefree Reina always seemed in Jason's presence. Since mending their rift, she and Jason appeared inseparable. Although the time spent together was centered on the fundraiser, Eli couldn’t help experiencing third-wheel-syndrome. Watching them like this left him confused as to his place in her life.

  Out of nowhere last week, she’d blurted out how much his friendship meant to her and what a blessing it was for her and Nate to have him in their lives. He’d been happy. He appreciated her friendship but still hoped for more.

  “It’s hard to believe you and Eli aren’t brothers,” he heard Reina say to Jason.

  “What? We’re not twins?” Jason’s solemn expression drew her grin. “You don’t see the resemblance?”

  Reina giggled as Jason struggled to maintain a straight face; when he couldn’t, he joined in her laughter.

  Eli listened as they chatted some more, curious when the topic of complexion came up. Reina was first to notice him approach. Waving him over, she opened their intimate circle for him to join.

  “What exactly is Black-girl blush?” he asked.

  Jason answered, “The darker the skin tone, the less noticeable the blush. But it does happen. Usually visible around the neckline.” He winked and pointed at Reina. “Like that.”

  Eli watched her, his expression unreadable. “I’ll have to remember that.”

  “Before the earth opens up and swallows me whole, let’s finish this tour.” She walked ahead and directed their attention to the southside of the room. “What do you think about placing the band in this corner? I want them visible without taking the attention away from the organizations. It’s their night to be honored.” She continued with enthusiasm as she reached a banquet table at the front of the room. “And this is the table for the two of you and everyone who brought Nate safely home. That reminds me, I have to return Mrs. Montdesir's call. We’re supposed to meet later this week for lunch since I couldn’t make it last week.”

  Eli watched her buzz around the room.

  Jason turned to Eli. “She’s the most organized hurricane I’ve ever seen.”

  Eli laughed. “Yeah, she only seems all over the place until you see that massive project spreadsheet and every meticulous note in that bright blue monstrosity in her hand.”

  They laughed together as they watched Reina point out a page in her notebook and saw the event planner frown.

  “Don’t worry,” they heard Reina say. “We’ll make it work.”

  “Poor Tish is going to suffer from ‘we’ll make it work’ syndrome by the time this fundraiser is over,” Jason joked.

  “Reina’s adamant about keeping costs down so the majority of the money raised goes directly to the organizations,” Eli responded.

  “She seemed pretty uptight about that from the beginning.”

  “Thankfully, money wasn’t one of the many things she had to worry about when Nate was missing. She had the financial resources to get extra help to find him if it would’ve have come to that. Most families don’t. She wants these organizations well-funded to do their job and keep the burden off families.”

  “I get that. She told me there’s been enough sadness. She wants this money to support joy,” Jason answered.

  Eli was once again touched by her compassionate spirit. In his many years of dating, compassion had never topped the list of must-haves in a woman. One, he hadn’t thought about it. And two, his dating mindset was not long-term.

  “Why do you waste so much time on women with so little substance?” his mother had asked him some years ago.

  He had jokingly deflected the question because there was no answer to give. He figured he would get married one day, but that future date was not something he thought he needed to prepare for now. He looked at Reina and wondered, not for the first time, about the lucky guy who would open her heart again to marriage. She was the kind of woman who deserved forever love. He wanted to be the guy to love her that way and was bothered by the thought of another man giving that to her.

  “We got it!” Reina practically danced on her way back to them. “I can’t believe we snagged the Grand Promenade Hall at Lincoln Center on New Year’s Eve. I know Lauren didn’t want to call her father but so glad she did. His contact came through.”

  “I still don’t see why you didn’t just use the fancy ballroom at The Pearl,” Jason said.

  “With the annual holiday party to support the children’s cancer hospital, it would have been too much to plan two huge events back-to-back,” Reina answered. “Besides, it doesn’t hold as many people as we need.” She moaned. “Four months is not a lot of time to prepare for this fundraiser.”

  “How long can it take to get decorations, order food and drinks, and some fun party hats?” Eli asked and Jason nodded in agreement.

  Reina sighed loudly in response.

  They shrugged.

  She groaned. “We have to buckle down and get a finalized plan in place.”

  Amused, they pretended to salute her. “Aye. Aye. Captain!” Jason spoke.

  “Still interested in lunch?” she asked. They were supposed to meet Lauren, who was babysitting Nate, at a nearby eatery on Columbus Circle.

  “I’ll take a rain check. Running errands before my date tonight,” Jason answered.

  “Did Sophia okay this one yet?” Eli asked, finding joy in tormenting his best friend.

  “Even Velasquez can’t find anything wrong with this one.”

  “That remains to be seen.”

  Jason said goodbye and promised to make up for skipping out on their plans.

  Reina looked at her watch. “I thought this appointment was going to take much longer. We still have two hours before lunch. It’s an unusually cool day for August. How about a walk through the park?”

  Eli grabbed her hand, a habit they’d fallen into after a previous outing at the park where she had stumbled and almost twisted her ankle. “Looks like you’re going to need a chaperone.” He’d teased, after making sure she was okay. They’d held hands walking through the park for the rest of that day.

  “You’re like a dog with a new chew toy.” He laughed heartily when she stopped walking and stared at him with a questioning glare.

  “This better be the best backward compliment ever.”

  “Simmer down. You’re doing a fantastic job. Your passion for this project is contagious.”

  “You need to keep working on your compliments.”

  She looked so adorable he wanted to hug her. “You looked beautiful negotiating the terms of the contract to secure the venue. I was impressed at how you were confident without being arrogant,” he said without mirth. “Better?”

  She nodded.

  “Good.”

  They continued walking.

  “The ticket price is reasonable, don’t you think?” Reina asked.

  “For food, drinks, music, and a chance to support a great cause, I’d say so.”

  “That’s what you’ll be saying when you help me sell them.”

  “That wasn’t part of the original job description.”

  “But you promised to help any way you could,” she said sweetly, reminding him of his words. “The hall seats 500 for dinner but can hold 1,000. It’s going to take a lot to fill the room.”

  “Any other last-minute items to tack on my to-do list?”

  “Not a thing.” She smiled her widest smile. “You’re the best male best friend a girl could ever ask for.”

  He was glad to make her happy but couldn’t help being disappointed that she still only thought of him as a friend when his feelings for her ran so much deeper.

  “Good thing my parents agreed to attend. My mother is the queen of fundraisers. She’ll have these tickets sold before I can open my mouth to ask for help.”


  “I can’t believe you’re pawning your responsibility off on your mom.” She teased.

  “You have your sales tactics. I have mine.” He admitted without shame. “Speaking of seeing Mother Cooper, have you made up your mind yet about coming home with me for Elizabeth’s party?”

  “I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Come on. It’s not every day I get a chance to support my baby sister’s first published work as an author. I’d like you and Nate there to celebrate with me. Her editor James who’s throwing this shindig comes from some Italian cooking dynasty. The food’s going to be amazing.”

  “No fair bribing me with good food,” she responded. She fiddled around with her fingers. “What is your family going to think when you show up with a woman and her baby to this event?”

  “Rei. It’s not like you’re a stranger. My mother doesn’t even say hello to me anymore before she starts asking about you and Nate. You’re an anomaly around these parts: a living, breathing, adult female who has not fallen for her son’s endless charms.”

  She rolled her eyes at his silliness. “Somebody had to be the first.”

  He put his arm around her shoulder. “Is that a yes?” Before she could answer, he said, “Nate’s going to love Massachusetts. He told me how much he wants to visit.”

  “That so?”

  “We’ve had this planned for weeks. He can’t wait to sightsee around Brookline and then do a day trip to Boston.”

  “You and Nate have this all worked out. Fill me in on the details.” She shook her head. “How are we getting there? Where are we staying? What am I wearing to the party?”

  “We’re staying with my parents, of course. Before you say no, my mother would be horrified to think I’m making you and Nate stay at a hotel when there’s plenty of room at the house. She lives for this hosting business.”

  Reina eyed him suspiciously.

  “Besides, Nate’s already looking forward to her cupcakes.”

  “You and Nate will have to start filling me in on your plans before making them.”

  He raised his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”

  “I’ll ignore the fact that you and Jason used to ditch your Scout meetings. Finish filling me on those plans for next weekend, please.”

  He had the decency to look contrite—at least he pretended. “We can fly if you prefer, but I’m just as happy to drive. It might be more comfortable for Nate and you can pack as many bags as you want. That way you’ll have choices of what to wear.”

  “I see you and Nate have thought of everything.”

  He stated proudly, “We’re a good team. A very intelligent pair.”

  “And modest, too.”

  “Very.” He continued. “If we drive, we’ll leave on Thursday and come back on Monday. Work for you?”

  She bit her lips. “Are you sure this isn’t going to be strange?”

  They were seated on a bench at the 59th Street entrance of Central park staring across the street at the Columbus Circle subway station.

  “For us or my family?”

  “I don’t know. For you. For me. For everyone involved. Maybe I’m overthinking things.”

  “It’s as weird as we make it.”

  She gave him her full attention.

  “We’re adults and we’ve already set the boundaries for our relationship. My family will respect that.”

  Her skeptical gaze prompted him to try harder. “As far as they’re concerned, we’re like Sophia and Jason. They’ve been friends for years but there’s nothing more between them.”

  “Not the way you tease him about her.”

  “It’s all in good fun. I don’t think there’s anything between them. Neither does anyone else in the family.”

  Reina stayed quiet for too long. He could tell she was working something out. He wondered what.

  “They’re still coming, right?” she asked.

  “Yes. They’re flying in on Friday night because Sophia can’t get Thursday off. They’re staying with his folks.” He hoped she’d stop worrying about it. “It’s not a problem for them so there’s no reason it should be for us.”

  She watched him for a moment before nodding in agreement. He wanted to ask what she was thinking but left it alone. She agreed to this and for now, that’s all he needed. He told the truth that his family wouldn’t push. But his mother would silently wish for it to be different. The same way she’d done since he’d made the mistake of admitting to her his true feelings for Reina. She’d broached the subject on one of their recent calls.

  “But how do you know she doesn’t feel the same? You won’t until you tell her.”

  He’d made it adamantly clear he had no intention of doing so. Reina still carried a very brightly lit torch for her husband.

  “I want you to promise not to interfere.” He’d gotten his mother to promise under the threat that he would no longer ask Reina and Nate to the party.

  “At least give me a chance to meet the woman who has unknowingly stolen my son’s heart. You can’t deny your mother such a tiny favor,” she’d added, knowing he wanted to bring Reina home just as badly as she did.

  He had no clue if their relationship would ever progress out of its friendship stage, but it was important to him to introduce her and Nate to his family. He needed them to meet the two people in his life who had come to mean more to him in the last seven months than anyone else he’d met in at least the last five years. To introduce her to his family—although she knew nothing of his feelings—filled him with both hope and fear. Hope that someday she and Nate would be as much his family as anyone who shared his blood. Fear that this upcoming weekend might torpedo that possibility. God, am I taking steps ahead of You? I should have prayed about this before, but please let this trip help and not hinder whatever the plans are You have for our future—be it together or separate.

  “Thanks for walking us back,” Reina said.

  “Later, Eli,” Lauren whispered.

  He waved to her and a sleeping Nate.

  “Good luck trying again to settle things between the two of you,” Eli told Reina after Lauren walked to the nursery to put Nate down for his nap.

  “She never stays mad for this long. I really hurt her.”

  “You’ll work things out. She loves you.”

  Reina hugged him. “Thank you. Have a good shift. I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “Thanks. Text and let me know how it goes.”

  Reina closed the door just as Lauren returned to the living room.

  “Let’s have this talk you keep harassing me about,” she said.

  Reina sat on the small, uncomfortable chair in the corner of the room she called her office.

  Lauren fumed, “Nate’s the only reason I haven’t ended our friendship.”

  “I deserve that,” Reina responded and turned the chair to face her.

  “And more.”

  Her hope that Lauren was in a forgiving mood dashed. She hated the strain in their relationship.

  “You’re selfish! Do you know that?" Lauren exclaimed angrily, finally confronting Reina for her actions.

  Hurt by the truth, Reina couldn’t defend herself.

  “Don’t get me wrong. When it comes to material things and emotional support to others, you’re the most giving person I know.” Lauren admitted. “But,” she continued, “you selfishly refuse to let others do the same for you.”

  "I know what I did was inexcusable—"

  "That’s putting it mildly. Do you know how worried I was about you? About Nate?" Anger warred with sadness in her expression.

  Anger won out for the time being. "Your grief doesn't give you the right to treat your friends like garbage." Lauren marched to the kitchen and Reina followed. “Do you understand how scared I was that something had happened to you and Nate? I was halfway across the world and unable to come see for myself how you were coping with the anniversary of Jared’s death.”

  "Ariel, I am so sorry—"

&
nbsp; Lauren refused to let her finish. "No. I don't care about your sorry. I don't want to hear it." The fight left her voice. In its place was the sound of a deeply wounded friend. "You push and push and push, but someday you'll push too far.”

  Reina sat hearing her words, genuinely contrite. She'd treated her best friend deplorably and deserved her fury.

  “I’ve joked in the past about you being your own best friend but if that’s really what you want, I’m happy to step aside.”

  “You know I’d be a mess without your friendship,” Reina answered and invited Lauren, who stood by the kitchen table agitated, to sit down.

  She sat and then responded, “That’s the thing. You wouldn’t be.” Reina did not object, so she continued. “I feel worthless in this friendship.”

  Reina gasped. That was extreme, even for Lauren. Awaiting the playful melodramatic sigh that usually accompanied such over-the-stop statements, she sobered when none came. “You’re serious.” She stared at Lauren. “Oh my God, you actually believe you don’t serve a purpose in our friendship?”

  “Nothing more than comic relief.” There was nothing comedic in her tone.

  “I am so sorry, Ariel." She wanted Lauren to know they were more than words. "I’m a jerk for treating you like crap. Forgive me for worrying you.” Reina wished she could undo the hurt she caused. “You have been an incredible friend for years and even more remarkable since Jared’s death. Who else would have taken a month’s vacation to help her pregnant grieving best friend?”

  Lauren looked like she was struggling to stay angry. “Your words make it seem like you value me and what I bring to our friendship.”

  “I do. How can you believe I don’t?”

  “Because your actions the weeks leading up to the anniversary of Jared’s death spoke louder than anything you’ve said today.”

  Reina couldn’t deny the truth yet again. Instead, she said, “You’re right. You are the sister I've always wanted, but I've treated you like trash. I’m sorry." She offered Lauren her hand. “I’ll do everything I can from now on to show you just how much I value your friendship.”