A Love Restored

by Goshorn, Kelly;

  “Sorry, Sarah. Mr. Coulter stopped by unexpectedly to mend fences. I dare say it’s not going as he planned.”

  “Well, I suggest you keep your voices down before Mama makes her presence known. Good night.”

  He took a long breath and released it slowly. “I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier. I came by hoping to talk with you about what has happened between us and was very surprised to find you with that…that—”

  “Gentleman.”

  He rolled his eyes.” I’m not sure that word applies.”

  Ruth Ann walked toward the door. “James is waiting for me inside.” Her tone softened as she glanced over her shoulder. “And I don’t want—” She shook her head and reached for the latch. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “It matters to me. Tell me, Ruthie. What don’t you want?”

  She sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you either.” He stepped closer. “I want to tell you how I’ve changed and—”

  “I’m happy for you, Ben, but it has little to do with me.”

  He placed his hand on her arm. “You’re wrong, Ruthie, it has everything to do with you…with us.”

  “There’s no us, Benjamin.” She eased the screen open. “Not anymore. Good night.”

  “Ruthie, wait.” He pushed the door closed. His hand rested on the wooden frame, inches above her shoulder. “You still want to know why I came by tonight?”

  She faced him again, her dark eyes searching his face.

  “To do this.”

  In one sweeping motion Benjamin pressed her against the house showering her with impassioned kisses. Her stiffened response didn’t discourage him as he twined his fingers through her hair. His lips forged a tender path to her ear and whispered, “I love you, Ruthie.”

  A weak gasp escaped her parted lips. His arms slid behind her and drew her close in a possessive hold. His lips lingered just above hers for the briefest of moments before he kissed her again, deeply this time. She melted into his embrace, responding with an intensity that rivaled his own before he tore himself away from her.

  Gasping for air, she stood braced against the house, chest heaving.

  He folded his arms across his chest. “I know Thornton’s kisses don’t stir you like that, but I’m sure he tries.”

  In an instant, her hand connected with his face. “How dare you!”

  Benjamin chuckled as his fingers grazed his smarting cheek. “Just remember, passion without love, is lust—plain and simple. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?”

  He reached for the latch and nudged the door open before taking Ruth Ann by the elbow. “Go on inside, Ruthie. Your beau is waiting for you. But I suggest before you give Thornton his answer, you think long and hard about that kiss.”

  Dirt whirled around Benjamin’s boots as he walked the dusty road back to the Petersons’ boardinghouse. He replayed that stolen kiss in his mind. The mere thought stoked his insides hot enough to roast chestnuts. His confidence quickly waned as he touched his smarting cheek. He probably shouldn’t have kissed her like that, but doggone it, this was war. Their passion for one another was a weapon he couldn’t afford to leave holstered.

  Oil lamps illuminated the first floor of the boardinghouse. He entered the parlor and tossed his hat on an empty chair.

  “That woman is so…” He strode back and forth between the hearth and Mrs. Peterson’s rocking chair. “Do you know what she was doing when I arrived?”

  Neil removed his spectacles and stuffed them in his shirt pocket. He glanced at Charlotte who responded with a shrug of her shoulders.

  “Entertaining James Thornton, that’s what she was doing. Alone. In the dark.” Benjamin stopped mid-stride. “And that dress. It was more than a yard short of fabric in the bodice, I’d say.” He renewed his agitated pacing. “She never wore anything like that when she was on my arm. And for good reason—I’d never stand for it!”

  Neil pointed to the chair opposite him. “Why don’t you sit down, Benjamin, and take a deep breath while you’re at it. You keep that up and I’ll be buying Trudy new rugs.”

  Benjamin flopped down onto the nearest chair. “That’s great.” He pulled his smooshed hat from underneath him. “Perfect ending to the evening.”

  Neil leaned forward on his elbows. “I take it Ruth Ann didn’t accept your apology.”

  “I never had a chance to offer it. I got so riled up over James that I…I…”

  “Lost your temper, son?”

  “That’s not all I did. I kissed her, too, with every ounce of desire I could muster.”

  Mrs. Peterson’s fingers flew to her lips, stifling a gasp.

  Neil cleared his throat. “And how’d that go over?”

  “She resisted at first, but when I told her I still loved her, she kissed me back. Then she slapped me.”

  Charlotte grinned. “Serves you right, Benjamin. What were you thinking?”

  He dropped his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Images of Thornton kissing his Ruthie raced through his mind like a runaway locomotive. “I know it wasn’t the most gentlemanly thing to do, but I’m leaving for Snickers Gap in just a few days. I don’t have time to waste. I needed to remind her how we feel about each other.”

  Neil reached across the coffee table and put his hand on Benjamin’s slouched shoulder. “Are you confident she’s the woman God has chosen for you?”

  “I wouldn’t put myself through this otherwise. I love her, Neil, more than anyone or anything else…even more than myself, but she—”

  “Then you mustn’t give up.”

  Benjamin glanced at Mrs. Peterson. Her quiet determination had taken him off guard. He didn’t want to quit on Ruth Ann, but it was hard to persevere, especially when she gave so little sign of encouragement. “I’ve told her repeatedly that I’m sorry and that I love her. What more can I say?”

  Mrs. Peterson lowered her mending to her lap and gently pumped the rocker, eyeing him carefully. “A woman’s heart is a tender thing. It will be your actions, not your words, that win her back. You need to do more than tell her you’re sorry. You must ask for her forgiveness and her trust. Let her express her doubts and fears without raising your voice.”

  “Easier said than done. Obviously, I shouldn’t have lost my temper tonight, but how should I have reacted when I saw her with that…that—”

  “Gentleman caller.”

  He glared at Charlotte. “Humph. Ravenous wolf is more like it.”

  Mrs. Peterson squelched a grin as she thrust her needle through the plaid flannel of one of her husband’s work shirts. “No one here doubts your love for Ruth Ann, or hers for you, for that matter. The question is whether she’s willing to risk her heart again, and it can only be answered in your favor if your actions are consistent with your words.”

  Benjamin slumped back in his chair. Mrs. Peterson’s wisdom pricked his conscience. He hadn’t spent much time looking at the situation from Ruth Ann’s perspective. Loving her the way he did, he should spend more time considering her feelings rather than his own.

  Oh Lord, please soften Ruthie’s heart toward me.

  Neil lifted Benjamin’s crumpled hat from the coffee table, reshaping the crown as he spoke. “Nothing worthwhile in life is easy. And according to you, Ruth Ann is well worth the effort.”

  “That she is, Neil, but time is not on my side.”

  ~*~

  Benjamin stared at his shabby work boots. Why hadn’t he worn his fine suit when he came begging for forgiveness? He’d rushed out the door without giving it a thought. Oh well. He lifted the brass knocker on the Suttons’ door. An odd silence followed the heavy thud. No feisty Corgi announced his arrival.

  He cleared his throat as the door swung open then extended his hand. “Hello, Joseph.”

  Joseph glanced at Benjamin’s peace offering before looking him in the eyes. “Benjamin. I’m surprised to see you here after last night.”
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  Benjamin forced himself to swallow. It wasn’t like Joseph to ignore a hand offered in friendship. He wiped his sweaty palm against his pant leg. He had a long road ahead of him. “My apologies about the ruckus. It won’t happen again.”

  “Glad to hear it.” Joseph’s expression soured. “Ruth Ann isn’t here. James sent the carriage for her following breakfast. She’s at Brook Lawn discussing…”

  Benjamin cringed. Oh Lord, please don’t let him say wedding plans.

  “…the library foundation.”

  His eyes closed briefly. Thank You, Father. “Might I have a word with you and Mrs. Sutton?”

  Joseph stepped back, allowing him to enter.

  Benjamin removed his hat. The familiar scent of lemon oil greeted him as he entered the parlor. “Good day, Mrs. Sutton. Sarah.”

  Chloe squirmed down from her mother’s lap, knocking her Mother Goose Rhymes to the floor. She hurled herself at Benjamin, wrapping her tiny arms around his legs. “Uncle Benjamin. Why haven’t you come to see me? I’ve missed you.”

  He lifted her up and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve missed you, too, little one. How about if you sit on my lap while I talk with your parents and your grandmother.”

  Chloe leaned back against his chest, her small hand resting atop his. He took a deep breath then forged ahead. “I want you to know that I regret hurting Ruth Ann. I’ve been a fool.” His gaze drifted to Mrs. Sutton. “I still love your daughter, and I intend to win her back.”

  Mrs. Sutton strummed her fingers on the plush arm of her wing back chair. “You are too late, young man. James has renewed his attentions to her. We are expecting to announce their engagement as early as today.”

  “I’ve heard.” He dragged a hand over his face. “Pardon my frankness, ma’am, but why are you pushing her to marry so quickly?”

  Her fingers clutched the broach fastened to the ribbon around her neck. “Ruth is more than halfway through her twentieth year. She needs to marry before she loses her bloom.”

  Before she loses her bloom? Benjamin shook his head at the absurdity of the idea. “I don’t agree with Thornton on much, but I think it’s fair to say neither one of us thinks she’s in danger of her ‘bloom’ fading anytime soon.”

  Sarah stroked Lily’s silky hair. “I think what Mama means to say is that she feels it’s best for Ruth Ann to be settled soon, rather than not at all.”

  “Even if the man she is marrying doesn’t love her?”

  Mrs. Sutton pinched her lips together in a thin flat line. “Love? Love did not get her to the altar with you, did it?”

  He troweled stiff fingers through his hair, frustration brimming. She was direct and to the point, much like her daughter. He hadn’t expected this to be easy. He was tired and feeling more than a little hopeless. Mrs. Peterson had admonished him to keep an even keel if Ruth Ann refused his apology. He needed to try the same tactic now—remain calm and let Mrs. Sutton speak her mind. It would mean eating another helping of humble pie, something that left a bitter taste in his mouth. But if it won back even an ounce of their trust, it would be worth it. Having her family on his side, urging her to trust him again, would be a powerful weapon.

  He shook his weary head. “No, ma’am.”

  “We all had such high hopes for you, Benjamin. Although her figure has always presented challenges where suitors are concerned, you made us believe that you loved her. But in the end, you rejected her for another woman—a more petite woman.” Eyes narrowing, her voice strained. “It was against my better judgment to let you court her. I encouraged your attentions, hoping she would find whatever it was her heart longed for. I worried from the beginning all this romantic nonsense would end badly, and I was correct. Perhaps James doesn’t love her, but he does care for her, and I am confident they will have a successful union.”

  Benjamin skimmed the brim of his hat between his thumb and forefinger. Head down, his eyes fixated on a knot in the wood flooring, anywhere but her penetrating gaze.

  Mrs. Sutton shifted in her chair, exposing the thick sole of her right shoe. Is that why she discouraged ‘romantic nonsense’? Had her heart been broken by a suitor who couldn’t see past her deformed leg? The same way he’d rejected Ruth Ann because of her figure? It all made sense now. She wasn’t trying to persuade her daughter to marry for money. Instead, she was trying to protect her heart—from a man like him. Or at least the type of man he used to be.

  He hadn’t considered that the heartache he’d inflicted on Ruth Ann extended to her family. His gaze traveled from Joseph, to Sarah, then Mrs. Sutton. It was clear to him now—the pain in Mrs. Sutton’s voice and Chloe’s tight embrace, even the disappointment in Joseph’s eyes when he’d first arrived. He had become part of this family, and when he broke Ruth Ann’s heart, he’d wounded them all.

  “You’re right, ma’am. I chose to end our courtship for shallow reasons. Please forgive me. You welcomed me into your home as part of your family, and I misused your trust.”

  Sarah rested her cheek on Lily’s head, eyes glistening.

  “I’ve regretted that decision every day since. But I want you to know that I don’t feel that way about her appearance any longer. Your daughter is a beautiful woman—in every way imaginable.” He paused then forced himself to continue. “There is no excuse for my behavior. I lost my way. I’ve seen a glimpse of what my life would be like without Ruth Ann, and it’s nothing I relish. I intend to do everything in my power to win her back. I won’t rest until she agrees to marry me.”

  Mrs. Sutton remained expressionless.

  Joseph offered his hand. “Thank you, Benjamin. We all needed to hear you give voice to both your regrets and affections where Ruth Ann is concerned. You still have my blessing to marry Ruth Ann if you can persuade her to accept.”

  Benjamin slid Chloe onto the settee and walked beside Mrs. Sutton’s chair. “And you, Mrs. Sutton? Do I have your blessing as well?”

  She tilted her head and held Benjamin’s gaze. Her intense look reminded him of Ruth Ann. She could look deep inside a person and take their measure. A trait she must have taught her daughter. “I will not urge her to consider you, Benjamin.”

  A heaviness settled on him. Even opening his mouth to speak took concerted effort. “I see.”

  “Nor will I oppose you.”

  Jaw unhinged, he rested a hand on the back of her chair. “Pardon?”

  “I said I will not oppose you. I will allow Ruth Ann to make her own decision.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I’m not convinced you are the right choice for her. James has been very attentive, and he has offered her the library foundation—a stroke of genius, if you ask me. You have your work cut out for you, young man.”

  He glanced at Joseph. “Library foundation?”

  “I’ll explain as I walk you out.” Joseph stood. “Sarah, would you join us, please?”

  She nodded and set Lily on her Mimi’s lap.

  “Bye, Uncle Benjamin.”

  Uncle Benjamin. If the child only knew how he wished that were true. He tousled her hair. “Good-bye, Chloe.”

  Joseph leaned against the porch railing. “Don’t let grass grow under your feet, Benjamin. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but James is close to winning her hand. He’s offered her two enticing carrots. She may split her time between Richmond and Catoctin Creek, living at Brook Lawn, of course, and the library foundation.”

  Benjamin frowned. “You’ve mentioned that several times. What is the library foundation?”

  “Once married, she will no longer be teaching, but James won’t allow her to continue volunteering with the Colored Man’s Aid Society either. However, it seems the Thorntons have found something to rival her affections for teaching Negroes—establishing libraries in towns throughout the county.”

  Sarah shook her head. “Mother is right. This library foundation is a stroke of genius. She’s so excited about the project that I don’t think she slept a
wink.”

  Benjamin rubbed his jaw. This was war, and Thornton knew it, too. The dandy couldn’t awaken her passion toward him, so he was doing the next best thing—stirring her love for reading and literature.

  “That guy doesn’t play fair,” he mumbled.

  “Pardon?”

  Benjamin plopped his hat on his head. “Nothing. I have an idea to win her back, but I could use some help.”

  Joseph slid his arm around Sarah’s waist and pulled her close. “Anything, Benjamin. We’re rooting for you. What do you need?”

  A wide grin stretched across his face. Thornton wouldn’t even know what hit him. “Well, I was thinking…”

  24

  “Come in.”

  Mama peeked around the door. “I would like to speak with you privately before James arrives.”

  Ruth Ann laid her dog-eared copy of Pride and Prejudice on the window seat. She’d managed to avoid her mother’s probing questions regarding James’ proposal thus far. Although heavily inclined to accept him, she wanted one more night to sleep on it—without interference.

  “I see you are dressed for dinner.”

  “Punctuality is essential to James.”

  “What an elegant coiffure. Did Sarah arrange those pearls in your hair?”

  Ruth Ann nodded as she fingered the elaborate braids. “You know I don’t have the patience for a hairstyle this intricate.”

  “With the extra attention given to your appearance, I assume you have decided to accept his offer?”

  She nodded. “I will not tell him until tomorrow, just before he returns to Richmond.”

  “I see.” Mama pointed to the pink flowers on the bureau. “James has excellent taste.”

  Ruth Ann reached for the vase and pulled the roses close, inhaling their fragrance. “They’re from the hot houses at Brook Lawn.” She idly fondled a rose petal between her thumb and forefinger. “Fresh ones will be delivered to my room daily after we marry.”

  “You seem indifferent, Ruth. I would think such a gesture would please you.”

  “I suppose it should.” She forced a smile as she returned the vase to her dresser.