Finding the Green Room (The Sutter Family Book 3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  “And I want to be part of it.” He leaned closer, resting his forehead against mine. “Tell me I can be part of it, Jess. Tell me you want me to be part of it.” His words hung between us like a life raft just waiting for me to grab onto it.

  “I…” I started to answer, but something was holding me back.

  “Tell me Jess,” he begged as his feet moved closer to mine. Our bodies were pressed together in as many ways as were possible, but still he waited for me give him permission. “Tell me.” His lips brushed against mine as he spoke, and I sucked in a breath at the feeling of him almost kissing me.

  “Ryan,” I begged, but I wasn’t sure what I was begging for. Did I want to tell him no? Yes? Did I want him to make the decision for me? My head spun as all the dreams I’d had over the years of him coming here and sweeping me off my feet came to fruition in front of me. When I first came here, every time the phone rang or someone knocked on my door, I dreamed it would be Ryan telling me the things he’s saying now. I learned to let those dreams go the longer I was here. Now, as I stand here listening to him profess his feelings, I can’t help but wonder how much mine are playing tricks on me. Am I reading into this, or is it really happened and I’m just too stubborn to say ‘yes’?

  “What do you want Jess? I’ll walk away if that’s what you want. I’ll go home, and let you get back to your life. We’ll be a memory that we tell our future families about someday… the one that got away. Say the word, and I’m gone.” He swallowed before he loosened his grip on me and started to step back. “It’ll kill me, but I’ll leave.”

  I watched the uncertainty spread across his face as I stood there, silently battling myself. My heart said this was nuts and I was only setting myself up for pain, whereas my brain was reminding me how great Ryan and I used to be. We knew each other better than we knew ourselves. Ryan was my other half in every sense of the word. He knew things about me that no one, not even my parents, knew.

  The longer I stood there, the farther the distance seemed to grow between us despite the fact that neither of us had moved yet. Ryan’s shoulders sank as his head bobbed in failed understanding. He thought my lack of an answer was me sending him away. “Wait!” I reached out and grabbed his elbow. “I don’t want you to leave.” I swallowed as I stared at the hope blooming in his eyes.

  “What do you want?” He stepped closer, putting us back in our previous position.

  “I want…” I started to say ‘you’, but he stopped me. Ryan’s mouth crashed into mine, smothering any chance of a clear answer. I gasped and he took that chance to go exploring. His lips moved with precision over mine as his tongue licked its way inside. I leaned into him, gripping his shoulder, letting my nails bite into the skin as he groaned. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist as he hugged me to him. Our warm, sand covered skin, hummed as the flames that had been smothered for three years roared back to life. I’d be a fool to think anything could ever put out this fire between us. We’re like two magnets, that even the distance of an entire country couldn’t keep us apart.

  Ryan broke the kiss and rested his chin on top of my head as he panted to catch his breath. “You were saying?” he gasped.

  “I,” I laughed as he waited, “I don’t remember. What were we talking about again?” I lifted my head, causing him to change positions as we both laughed.

  “Let’s go rinse off and maybe get some lunch, and we can talk about it?” His smile curved into a grin as I nodded.

  “Sounds good.” I took his outstretched hand and let him lead me back up to where we’d left our boards. I honestly had forgotten that they were there. I was still back on the kiss he’d just given me, the kiss that came from someone who was no longer a boy, but a man.

  Chapter 17

  Ryan

  “Are you outta your mind?” my dad bellowed into the phone.

  “You’re the one who told me to do this?” I scoffed. I couldn’t tell if he was really upset, or if this was all for show. After lunch, Jess had gone back to her place to get ready for the evening. I’d decided that I needed to call my parents to tell them I was planning to stay. I thought they’d be happy. I mean, they’ve been telling me for months to go after Jess. I don’t think they expected me to want to move here.

  “I told you to tell her how you felt. I don’t remember ever saying that you should quit school and move to California,” Dad grumbled. I could hear Mom in the background trying to calm him. She was upset too, but not for the same reasons. My mother always saw me as her little boy, and she didn’t want to let me move away. She would have been hurt if I’d moved down the street.

  “I did tell her how I felt, and I think I should stay here now.” I shrugged even though they couldn’t see me.

  “What do you plan to do for a job? What about school? You don’t even have a place to live.” He was exasperated and I’m sure it bothered him that I didn’t have a plan.

  “I have savings. I’ll get a place, and I’m sure there are jobs here just like at home. Brock went to USC, I’m sure he can help me.” I threw out that tidbit hoping that they’d latch on to it and I’d be someone else’s concern for a while.

  “I love you son, but you aren’t USC material. I was thinking community college.” Dad sighed.

  “That’s fine too.” I was chipper, way too chipper to be talking to my parents. “I don’t care where I get my education as long as I can see her every day.” I flopped back on my bed. I sounded like a lovestruck teenager.

  After Jess had left, I showered and began getting ready for the evening. The hotel had tuxedo rentals, and I’d already had someone come to my room and fit me. I guess it was common here because no one even batted an eye when I told them I needed one.

  “Guess there’s no talking you out of this, is there?” Dad mumbled and I could picture him sitting on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  “Not really.” I chuckled. “I love her, Dad. I love her so much and I’m finally getting somewhere. You’re the one who sent me out here. I’m trying to do what you said I should. I thought you’d be happy?”

  He waited a few seconds before answering me, “I am happy. I am, Ryan. I just know that it’s going to be harder than you think, and I want to make sure you’re sure. Your mom and I will support you, but you need to make sure that you’re doing this for you too, not just Jess.”

  “I know,” I huffed, “and I am.”

  “So when are you coming to get your stuff?” I could hear him talking to my mom but it was muffled.

  “I’m still flying home Sunday. I thought about getting one of those big containers that you ship. I think that will be the best way to get my stuff here. Jess and I are going to look for places for me to rent this weekend.” I glanced at the clock and realized I needed to get ready if I was going to pick her up on time. “Dad, I gotta go. I’ve got a date tonight.” I smiled and that’s when it hit me. I was finally happy. Not fake happy, or just getting by, but really happy.

  “Ok.” I could hear the acceptance in his voice. “We’ll see you in three days. Be careful.”

  “Will do.” I grinned. This went better than I thought it would. When Dad first picked up the phone, I thought I’d be arguing with him for the better part of the afternoon. After his initial freak out, things calmed down, and he talked to me like an adult. All I had left to do now was find a place to live; the rest would come, I just knew it. I was sure Brock had connections, and if not, maybe Jess could give me some of hers.

  I didn’t plan on any of it ruining my evening though. Tonight was going to be special. It would be the prom we never attended. Jess would be in some fancy dress, and me in my tux. We’d ride in some overpriced car, to an event with a bunch of rich people, and I’d have the most beautiful girl in the room on my arm. I repeated that over and over as I got ready for the evening.

  ooooooooo

  Jessica

  When Phillip called me this afternoon, he was shocked when I told him I was bringing a date. I think he thought
I was teasing, but when I didn’t laugh, he responded with ‘you’re serious’. I couldn’t understand why he thought I was kidding. I mean, I dated, just not much. Most of the time I spent my evenings avoiding people when I went to these things. I’d take the required pictures, shake hands with the stuffed shirts, and then find a place to hang out that was quiet. Most of my time was spent on an outdoor deck or patio depending on where the party was held. I’d seen some pretty fancy houses along the coast, Phillip’s included. I couldn’t understand why he spent time representing me when he could sign a big name in football or something. His Malibu house was big enough that my apartment could fit in his living room.

  I stood there in my bedroom in only my panties and a silk robe as I stared at the dress lying across my bed. It was a silvery blue color, and had no back to it. The sequins made it sparkle like the water, and the slit in the side was high enough that I almost couldn’t wear the thong I’d chosen. Forget a bra. Nope, I was taping myself in place tonight. I sat down at my vanity, and began pinning up one side of my hair. I’d curled it into soft beachy waves that cascaded down my back. I spent so much time in the water, with it pulled up, that I used the formal events to wear it down.

  After applying a dark smokey eye, I swiped a glittery gloss over my lips. I tilted my head from side to side as I checked myself from every angle. I knew Ryan would like this look, but at the moment I was making sure the camera would too. I didn’t need to be listed as one of the worst dressed in some rag mag tomorrow.

  Satisfied with my results, I stood and slipped out of my robe letting it pool at my feet. I grabbed the dress, and stepped into it, pulling the thin straps over my shoulders. The low V in the back stopped right above my butt and the plunging neckline left little to the imagination. “Geez Phil,” I sighed. Phillip picked my dresses from the choices that were given from the designers that set these things up. I’ve always been happy with what he’s sent me, but I’ve also never had to think about Ryan. “This is the first event you’re attending as a Billabong girl,” I muttered to myself. “You have to be on point.”

  I’d already landed the trick he’d been pressuring me about, now I just had to smile at the right people and promise that I’d dominate at the next competition, whenever that was. Phillip had been telling me for weeks that he had something big lined up, and that I needed to land the trick. I did, and he still won’t tell me.

  I glanced at the clock by my bed one last time before slipping my feet into a pair of silver heels, and grabbing my clutch. As I walked out into my living room, there was a knock at the door. It had to be Ryan. He was always on time, and I can see that hadn’t changed. Phillip had said a car would be sent, and now I was nervous. Ryan wouldn’t have to drive. This would leave us more time to talk, and depending on the car, possibly more privacy.

  The knock sounded again, and I cracked open the door to see Ryan rocking back on his heels. His head was down, hands stuffed in his pants pockets as he mumbled something I couldn’t quite hear.

  “Hey.” I giggled as his head popped up and his eyes connected with mine. I opened the door further, revealing myself and his mouth dropped open before he shook his head.

  “Un uh. Nope.” He stepped closer. “Not going out like this,” he tsked.

  “What’s wrong with it?” I glanced down at the sparkly dress.

  “I’m gonna get arrested tonight.” He sighed. “You look beautiful. God Jess, time has only made you better and I didn’t think that could happen.”

  “Thanks, I think.” I laughed again as I stepped into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me. I jiggled the knob to make sure it locked before passing Ryan and heading to the elevator.

  “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath. I grinned knowing he’d just caught a glimpse of the back. This was gonna be fun. I’d never had this kinda power over him, at least not that I knew of.

  “Problem?” I put a little extra sway in my hips as I led him to the elevator.

  “Nope,” he gritted out, and I could tell this was only the beginning. Possessive Ryan was going to be fun.

  ooooooooo

  Ryan

  The ride to the house that this party was taking place in was one of the longest, most excruciating rides I’ve ever taken. This was worse than that time in high school when I rode home with a raging boner after Jess had worked me up and left me hanging. She sat there all prim and proper, smiling out the window as I stared at her, wondering how I was going to keep from decking somebody tonight.

  She looked like a fantasy sea creature. The material clung to her body, and every time she moved, the slit on her thigh seemed to climb higher. Her agent had outdone himself with picking the dress, and if it weren’t for our driver, I would have had Jess on my lap trying to soothe the ache happening in my pants.

  We drove through the hills on a winding highway until we came to a house that could only be described as a mansion. The yard was immaculate, and when a man dressed in a suit opened her door, I watched Jess transform before my eyes. Gone was the sweet. shy girl that only cared about surfing. She morphed into this confident woman that smiled at the camera flashes and walked with a grace about her. She waited for me, and when I gave her my elbow, she linked her arm with mine. “Just smile.” She talked out of the side of her mouth as she waved at a woman who looked like a reporter.

  “This is nuts,” I murmured.

  “This is nothing.” She sighed through a smile. “It’ll be calmer inside.”

  We navigated the path to the house, and when we stepped inside it was like a different world. It was quiet with the exception of soft jazz music playing and the low hum of voices. Waiters were walking around carrying trays with glasses of wine and champagne on them, and a few had small finger foods. I took it all in as I realized how over my head I was out here. Why would Jess want to be with someone who worked as a lifeguard and barely went to college? How would I ever compete with the guys here, and why would she choose me?

  “Come with me.” She grabbed my hand, and laced our fingers together, leading us over to an older man in a suit. “Phillip.” She tapped his shoulder and he smiled as he turned around. “This is Ryan.”

  “Pleasure.” He held his hand out, and I shook it. I watched as his eyes scanned up and down me before going back to Jess. “Andrea and Josh are making their rounds. Make sure you chat them up.” He smiled at her before glancing back at me. “Glad you finally brought someone to one of these.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” I placed my arm around Jess’s lower back and felt her flinch when my fingers touched bare skin. This dress was going to be the death of me.

  “Un huh,” he mumbled as he sipped his cocktail. I rubbed my fingers slowly across the exposed skin hoping to calm her, but I think it did just the opposite. She shifted on her feet, and I chuckled under my breath. She was rubbing her thighs together, but she was trying to be discrete. I knew her well enough to know the signs though, and she wasn’t going to get anything over on me.

  Phillip excused himself to go talk to another client, and Jess led us outside. The back-patio area had a beautiful fountain surrounded by luscious plants, and twinkle lights were strung in the trees. “What are you doing?” she hissed.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shrugged as I tried to play it off. I knew what I was doing, and so did she, but this was so much more fun.

  “This is work for me, Ryan,” she gritted out.

  “Me too.” I leaned it right next to her ear. I let my nose skim up her jawline before pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’ve been trying to see you dressed like this for years. You look like a fucking fantasy tonight Jess, and I don’t want to wake from it.”

  “Ryan, I…” she started to say more, but the doors opened and a woman came rushing out.

  “Jessica Ryland! I thought that was you,” she squealed.

  “Hey Andrea.” Jess smiled as she leaned in and did that air kiss thing on the cheek. “Thank you again for taking a chance on
me. I’ll make you proud.” She stood a little straighter and stepped away from me. I don’t know if it was a conscious thing, or what.

  “Did Phil tell you the good news?” She smiled.

  “No.” She shook her head. “He told me that he had some, but he’s been holding off. I’ve been working on a new trick, and I think he was using it as leverage for me to land it.” She laughed lightly as Andrea nodded.

  “I guess I can tell you then since you’re going to be our rep for the contest.” She grabbed Jess’s hands and leaned in.

  “Contest?” Jess’s brow furrowed. “There aren’t any competitions nearby that I’m aware of.”

  “Oh this is something that everyone dreams of doing.” She grinned. “You’re representing us in The Pipe Masters. You leave in two weeks.”

  “What?” Jess squeaked. “But…” She glanced at me before looking back at Andrea. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  “You don’t need to thank me, just win. That’s thanks enough.” She hugged her before disappearing as fast as she had appeared.

  I watched the smile that had been plastered on Jess’s face fall, and her fingers twisted together. “What’s wrong? I thought this was good news.” I rushed closer and grabbed her hands.

  “You know what Pipe Masters is Ryan.” She looked up at me with fear in her eyes.

  “Yeah,” I tried to reassure her. “It’s in Hawaii. It’ll be beautiful there. I’ll go with you.” I squeezed her hands as she got a faraway look in her eyes.

  “What if I wipeout?” She grimaced. “I won’t just get hurt, I could die.”

  “You won’t die.” I smiled. “You’re Jessica Ryland. You just landed an aerial. You’re going to dominate.”

  “Maybe,” she murmured, “and maybe not.”

  “Come on.” I began pulling her back inside. “Let’s get some food, and then I want to get you on the dance floor. I don’t wear these monkey suits for just anybody.” I chuckled as we stepped back inside.