"I do, but it doesn't make it any easier." He was hurt. I could feel it. It was written all over his face and I couldn't blame him. My wolf was furious with me. She kept screaming at me to go to him, comfort him, and accept him.
"Chasin I-" "No Lindsey don't. Just get it over with Lindsey," he said through gritted teeth. He looked like he was about to break. I couldn't stand seeing him like this knowing it was because of me. I was conflicted, both inside in out.
Chasin I was the happiest man alive knowing that she was my mate. Seeing her, standing there in that dress, it just took my breath away. When she grabbed my hand and led me away from the crowd I felt like I was on top of the world, until she closed the door and everything came crashing down.
"You're my mate. That's impossible," she said turning to face me. I tried not to feel offended but I couldn't help the sarcasm that escaped my tone.
"Looks that way," I said looking into her eyes trying to figure out what the hell she was thinking. What I saw made me afraid. She was conflicted. Did she not want me? All this time I thought she was different. The way she stood up for the omegas. The way she made me feel like I could be something more than the lowest ranking in the pack. Was it all talk? Was it all for show? Was she like the rest of them and was going to reject me because I wasn't strong enough?
"You understand don't you? Why we can't be together?" she asked confirming my suspicions.
"I do, but it doesn't make it easier," I told her truthfully. I did understand. It would be hard for her being with me. She would lose all respect being mated to an omega. Other pack members would look down on her and think of her as weak. Our pack would be attacked because they would think I was too weak to be an alpha. But if she gave me a chance I would prove them all wrong, even if it took my last breath. I didn't care what had to be done. I would do anything to be with her. Call me selfish, crazy, whatever, but I wanted her, she was mine.
"Chasin I-" she started to say something but I cut her off. She had a look on her face that told me whatever she was going to say I was not going to like.
"No Lindsey don't. Just get it over with." I didn't want her pity or her excuses. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I was going to be shot down before I was even given a chance. I braced myself to hear the words that I never wanted to hear her speak. The words that would seal a rejection. I closed my eyes and waited for what was about to come. I was going to stand strong no matter how much it hurt. I was a man and she would not see me break.
Minutes passed and no words were spoken. I just focused on inhaling her scent of berries and vanilla. The next thing I knew I felt slight tingles across my cheek. I opened my eyes to see her caressing my face. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to pull her to close and never let her go. It took everything I had not to kiss her. She stood on her tip toes so that she was closer to my face. She pulled me down to her level and her lips touched mine. I was surprised at first but quickly snapped out of it. I grabbed her waist seizing the moment. If this was the last time I would kiss her I wasn't about to let it go to waste. I was going to make it one she would never forget as long as she lived.
I took control even though she fought hard for dominance I was determined. I wanted to show her that I was worthy with just that one kiss. I licked her bottom lip wanting her to give in but she was being stubborn. She licked mine trying to make me submit. When I didn't she let out a soft growl. I knew it was her alpha wanting control. I smirked amused and moved my hands further down so that they were planted on her backside. I gave her firm behind a squeeze and for a split second she opened her mouth. That second was all I needed. I plunged my tongue into her mouth and we were once again fighting for dominance. I won surprisingly and I could she was slightly pissed. I didn't care. She let out a moan and damn did it sound good. Having her at my mercy was indescribable. Somehow she took back control and tugged on my hair making me groan. I felt her smirk in satisfaction and I knew this girl would be the death of me. We both pulled away breathless.
"That was," she said not able to finish her sentence because she was panting heavily. "Amazing," I finished for her. She just nodded in agreement. I couldn’t help but feel a burst of pride knowing I made her feel that way. I decided to be honest with her. Tell her everything. At least I would be able to say I tried. Now that we kissed I had the slightest bit of hope.
"Look Lindsey. I know you're probably going to reject me but I want you to know that I have always loved you. Ever since the first day I met you on the playground all I have ever wanted was for you to be mine, to be near you. Now that you are I don't want to let you go. It won't be easy for us but all I'm asking is that you give me a chance before you make your decision. I'm willing to fight if you are. I want this forever and I will do whatever it takes."
My hand caressed her face, se closed her eyes leaning into my touch. I could hear her wolf purr in content.
"I care about you Chasin. I really do. I always have. You know that. But this is complicated. I need time. Can you give me that?"
There was nothing but sincerity in her tone and I knew she needed this. I had to give her space, time to sort things out. I nodded and kissed her cheek before walking out the door.
CHAPTER 10
Lindsey I watched as he walked out the door. It hurt so bad to see him walk away from me but I needed to clear my head, get my mind together. I just didn't know what to do. Chasin was a good guy and if I was honest with myself I really could see us being together. He had always been there for me and I guess I kind of over looked him. He was my friend, my really close friend who I had told things no one else knew. I never knew why I was so comfortable around him, why I could open up to him and feel like he wouldn't judge me, I guess now I know. He was always the nice shy guy that I felt the need to stick up for and protect. Never in a million years would I have thought he would end up being my mate, but I knew I couldn't imagine life without him.
I walked out of the room not sparing the people who were partying like there was no tomorrow a second glance. I just wanted to be alone. I sent Kasey a text telling her I had left. Everyone was there so I was certain she would have no trouble finding a ride and I didn't want to ruin her fun. When I made it back home I went straight to my room. I climbed into be after changing into some comfortable clothes and washing off all my makeup. I tried so hard to fall asleep but I couldn't. My wolf was missing her mate already and I wasn't far behind her.
The next morning my alarm went off way too early. The last thing I wanted to do was go to school but I knew I had to. I had to set an example for the rest of the pack, especially the kids. They looked up to me and education was important. I didn't want them to grow up thinking that it was okay to stay home just because they didn't feel like going. I got dressed and ate a quick breakfast feeling both nervous and anxious. I was bound to run into him today and honestly I didn't know what to do or say. I couldn't just ignore him but I couldn't let people find out we were mates, at least not yet, not until I made a decision.
"What's there to decide? He's our mate and you will not ever consider rejecting him," my wolf said furiously.
"I don't want to reject him but accepting him is too risky." " We will protect him and he will protect us. Don't underestimate our mate because of his status. He was made for us. He is stronger than you think. Just give him a chance to prove it," she begged.
I shut her not wanting to deal with her this early in the morning. I knew what she said had some truth to it but at the same time I knew she overestimated him. He was perfect in her eyes, she was already in love with him. The human side of me had to think logically. Following my heart could get him killed if I wasn't careful and my wolf was too wrapped up in what could be to realize that. I drove to school and parked in my usual spot. I ignored the people who were staring at me as I made my way to my locker. Kasey was standing there waiting when I got there.
"What's up?" I asked her curiously.
"We need to talk," she said with her arms crossed.
"About?" She didn't reply she just dragged me along into the girl's bathroom. She checked all the stalls making sure no one was in there and locked the door.
"Kas what the hell is going on you re acting crazy," I said a little infuriated by her strange behavior.
"Tell me what happened last night?" she said immediately.
"What do you mean?" I said a little nervous.
"People saw you leave the room with Chasin."
"So what?" I said pretending to be nonchalant.
"So did something happen?"
"Of course not. We just talked." I said lying through my teeth. I felt horrible. I had never lied to her before but I couldn't tell her the truth. She eyed me suspiciously like she didn't believe and I tried to keep my composure. After a couple minutes her accusing look turned into one of disappointment.
"I was really open you guys were mates or least you got hot and heavy and rolled around in the sheets together. You guys would be so cute. This is a major let down." She pouted and I thought to myself if only she knew.
"Come on we're late," I said walking out the door. We went to class and I tried to keep Chasin off my mind but it was very difficult considering that I knew I would be seeing him soon. The bell rang and I went to take my seat. As if on cue Chasin walked in.
My palms got sweaty and my heart started to beat faster just from the sight of him. He was even more attractive now that we had kissed. The thought of his lips on mine again had my wolf purring with delight. I had to calm myself or there would be trouble. He stared at me with a blank expression before sitting down. I knew this was just as hard for him as it was for me. He looked like he barely slept a wink. His hair was all over the place probably from running his fingers through it so many times. It was a habit of his especially when he was stressed. I wanted so bad to comfort him, tell him that it would all be okay. But I knew better. If it wasn't the words 'I accept you' he didn't want to hear it and I couldn't blame him. The bell rang and I gathered my things and headed to my next class.
"Hey sexy. How about you and me meet up tonight? My place around seven? I'll take you on a ride you will never forget," I heard an annoying voice say from behind me.
It was Paul. He was a friend of Treys, a player, and a class A jerk. He hit on me every chance he got and irritated me to no end.
"I wouldn't want to come in between you and your girlfriend. I know you have plans every night and I would hate to interrupt such a lasting relationship."
"Girlfriend? What girlfriend?" he asked confused. "You know Palmlina, your right hand. You two are the perfect couple you spend so much time together." I heard bursts of laughter and he blushed. He was so red I could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.
"You have a thing for that pathetic omega. That's why you won't go out with me isn't it?" he said furiously.
My heart stopped when he said those words. Never have I ever been so pissed. I dare he insult Chasin. I walked toward him ready to put him in his place but someone beat me to it.
"That pathetic omega has a name," Chasin said coming out of nowhere before I could respond.
"Chasin no!" I screamed as his fist collided with Paul's face.
CHAPTER 11
Lindsey
Things had gotten out of hand quickly. I had to do something. Paul and Chasin were fighting and I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them shifted.
"Stop!" I screamed in my alpha tone. They practically froze.
"Everybody clear the halls now." People started to move. Paul got up and wiped the blood off his lip.
"This isn't over omega," he said to Chasin. My wolf growled and he continued on his way. "Chasin we need to talk," I said grabbing his arm before he could leave. "I think you’ve said everything you needed to say," he said not even bothering to look at me.
"Why are you acting this way?" I knew he was upset with me but that didn't mean he had to act so cold. "What way Lindsey? You're mine. You belong to me and yet I can't have you. How am I supposed to act? How can I even look at you knowing that because of who I am we can never be together? I've never wanted anything more than I want you and knowing that you don't feel the same way kills me."
"Chasin I-" "Save it Lindsey. It doesn't matter. You're just like everyone else. You think I'm just an omega. You stopped that fight because you thought I couldn't win. You didn't think I was strong enough to stand on my own."
"That's not true." By this point my voice was barely above a whisper and even I didn't fully believe the words I spoke. "Yes it is. I get it. You're an alpha, you run things around here. But let me tell you something Your Highness. I don't need you or anyone protecting me. I rather fight until my last breath before I back down or surrender and I'm going to prove you and everyone else that I can fight my own battles."
With that he walked away from me. I didn't bother to stop him, I didn't try to chase after him. Why? Because part of me knew that he was right. I did want to protect. I couldn't stand to see him hurt. Partly because he was my mate, partly because he was an omega. I hated that he thought that he needed to prove himself to the pack. I hated that he was going through all of this because of me. If he didn't have me as a mate his status wouldn't be affecting him so much. If he didn’t have me as a mate he would be happy and not in so much pain.
Chasin Hearing the words 'pathetic omega' was the final straw for me. I was done with people thinking I wasn't good enough. Even my mate didn't think I could protect myself so that let me know that deep down she thought there was no way I could protect her. Hitting Paul gave me a rush. I wanted people to take me seriously and that asshole had it coming. But when I heard the sound of Lindsey's voice I snapped back into reality. It was like being dropped in ice cold water.
Her voice caused everybody to freeze where they stood and I was reminded that she was an alpha. It never bothered me before, maybe because I loved the way she took control and I admired the way she got things done. I respected her because she protected the pack, she protected me. But for some reason it started to really bother me after finding out she was my mate. It made me wonder if she would always see me as an omega. It made me question, even if she accepted me, would she treat me like some kind of pet she took care of instead of a mate? I didn't want that. I wanted her to know that I could protect her too, that I would give my life if it meant that she could keep hers. That I wasn't some pup that she kept on a leash or some puppet that would allow her to pull all the strings.
Either way I realized none of it mattered. Eventually she would reject me and I would have to live without her. An alpha would come along and she would choose him. But what she didn't know was that I wasn't just going to let her go. I was going to put up one hell of a fight against the bastard who tried to still her away. She belonged to me as long as I had breath in my body and no matter who she ended up with I was going to make sure she remembered it.
CHAPTER 12
Lindsey I couldn't put into words how bad I felt. The words that Chasin spoke kept playing in my head like a broken record. It was clear, he hated me. The sad thing was, I couldn't blame him. I was supposed to be his mate yet I was the one causing him the most pain. I loved him, that much I was sure of, but things were complicated, way too complicated. There could never be an us and it hurt like hell admitting that to myself. I got out of my car and ran straight to the woods. I just wanted to forget, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't.
"Why did you do this to us?" I screamed looking at the sky above hoping the Moon Goddess would hear me.
"Why did you have to make things so complicated? Why did it have to be him?" I was on my knees crying by this point. I was fed up, frustrated, and furious at the same time. Never have I allowed myself to break down but there was no stopping the tears. I wanted things to go back to the way they were and they would never be the same.
I punched a tree and heard the soft crack. Being an alpha I wasn't satisfied so I punched it again and again screaming until my hands were bloody and it had fallen
to the ground. I had no energy left as I made my way to my room. There was no more fight in me. Never in my life had I felt so defeated. The worst part of all I had no one to turn to. This was my sad pathetic life and I would be forced to live it alone. Never again would I fall for another, he was it for me and if I couldn't have him I would have no one.
Just as my eyes were about to close I felt a presence enter the house. I knew who it was but what I didn't know was why he was here or how he got in. My door opened and my breath caught in my throat as Chasin walked through the door. He looked like had been in the same state I was in only worse. His hands too were bloody raw and starting to heal. He was dripping with sweat like he had been running a marathon making him more than sexy. More importantly there were scars on his chest that made me wince and my wolf whimper.
"W-what are you doing here?" I asked finding my voice.
"What happened to you?" He didn't say a word. He just sat down beside me on the bed and took my hands in his, examining them before kissing each finger. "I felt it, the pain you were in. Your wolf called out to me and I could feel how much you were hurting. Why didn't you tell me? How you really felt? That not being together was tearing you apart like it was doing to me," he asked softly. I didn't know how to respond, so I said nothing.
"You used to always come to me. Tell me things that were on your mind. Even things that no one else knew. Now it's like you can't stand to look at me. I drives me crazy. Just talk to me, say anything," he pleaded.
He had always been honest with me. Even when I didn't want him to. Here he was trying to have a conversation and I was wallowing in self-pity. The least I could do was talk and be honest back, I owed him that much. He looked at me as if he knew what I was thinking, like he knew what I was about say before I said it. It made me want to open up, reveal my deepest darkest secrets and keep nothing hidden, like lying would be a waste of time because he could see right through me. He always had that effect on me and I guess now I know why.
The Omega Became My Equal Page 5