Someone to Love

by Jenny Frame

  “But I’ve so enjoyed my time with you, darling. It’s so liberating being with another woman, and something I want to explore more.”

  The waiter came at exactly the right time to clear away the first course. Claudia said to the young man, “Bring me a bottle of champagne, darling. I feel like bubbles.”

  “Yes, Your Ladyship.”

  Trent looked at her watch. Alice and Noah would be going to bed around about now. Then she remembered Wendy wouldn’t know about Noah’s bed biscuits and milk. She had forgotten to tell her.

  She stood up and said to Claudia, “Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to make a phone call.”

  “Make it quick, Trent. I’m starting to feel neglected.” Claudia sighed.

  * * *

  Wendy couldn’t help but smile as she talked to Trent on the phone. “Yes, I’ll make sure they get them. Thanks for letting me know.”

  She hung up the phone and clenched her fist. “Yes, I knew it.”

  That one phone call confirmed her thoughts. Trent did care. She’d cut into an evening dinner date to let her know about Noah and his bed biscuits. Not the healthiest, but the sentiment was what mattered.

  Trent hid her emotions deep down inside, but now Wendy knew she had something to work with. She would bring this family together before she left her post, and she wouldn’t give up.

  Wendy got the milk and biscuits and made her way back to the children’s bedrooms.

  Alice was lying on Noah’s bed, hugging her teddy and holding Noah’s hand. It had been a difficult and emotional day with Alice. Drawing had been Wendy’s idea to bring Alice’s thoughts and feelings out into a picture, but she obviously wasn’t ready to even contemplate her feelings.

  The problem was when Alice was angry and upset, it reminded Noah that his daddy was gone. So Wendy had two upset children for most of the afternoon.

  She walked in with the tray of milk and biscuits. “Look what I’ve got. Trent phoned home specially to tell me you liked bed biscuits.”

  Alice looked up surprised, and Noah bounced on the bed with excitement. “Bed biscuits! Bed biscuits!”

  “We’ll eat these, get your teeth brushed, then a story, okay?”

  * * *

  Claudia tried to push Trent into the bathroom stall and loosen her tie. Trent stopped Claudia’s hands from going any further. “Claudia, I really don’t feel like it tonight. I have an early morning in court. I think I’ll just head home.”

  Claudia dropped her hands in surprise. “No? You’re saying no? It’s those brats, isn’t it? You’ve not been yourself all evening.”

  Trent was angry now and feeling defensive of Alice and Noah. “Don’t call them that, Claudia. Their father has just been killed—their whole life’s been turned upside down.”

  “And yours with it, darling. Once they’re off to boarding school, life will be back to normal.”

  “Goodnight, Lady Claudia.”

  Trent stuffed her tie in her suit pocket and left. She caught a taxi, and as she made her way home, she thought about what Claudia had said. Life might go back to normal, but Trent was unconvinced whether it ever would. She was going to have a connection to Alice and Noah her whole life, no matter if they were at boarding school the majority of the year or not, and in any case, was her way of life normal? Lots of nightlife, sex if she wanted it, but no partner to come home to.

  The taxi stopped outside her apartment building. She paid the fare and looked up to her penthouse flat. Her mind was busy with thoughts, and if she was honest, she was scared of going up after the way she’d left this morning.

  Trent turned around and made her way down to the walkway that ran along the river. She leaned on the barrier and listened to the sound of the water through the darkness.

  The feeling of something missing in her life just wouldn’t go away since Becca and Dale’s wedding. She was going to be forty in a few weeks’ time. Was this what she wanted to be doing forever? Going for dinner and drinks and sleeping with people she would see for a few dates at a time?

  Trent hadn’t had a serious relationship since Becca. She had never found anyone she trusted like Becca. But maybe life was giving her a chance to do something good for two little people who had nobody. They said life began at forty. She was a bit late to the party, but she still had time. Perhaps if she made an effort that could be true.

  The only trouble was, she didn’t have the first clue about children. She had made strides with Jake, but this was different—this was living with them, making conversation, taking part in meals and play. Then she remembered the pretty Wendy, dancing in her pyjamas this morning. Like for Dale McGuire, it all came so easily to Wendy. Maybe she could let Wendy Darling be her guide?

  * * *

  Wendy rushed into Alice’s room and switched on the light. The sound of her screams awoke Wendy from dozing on her bed.

  She pulled Alice into her arms. She was shaking with fear and convulsing with tears. Wendy had never had to deal with a child who was so grief-stricken and frightened before, but she just used her instincts, held Alice tight, and rocked her rhythmically.

  “Shh…shh…it’s okay. I’m with you, Alice.”

  “I keep seeing it,” Alice said.

  Wendy pulled back a bit from her. “What do you see?”

  “My dad in the front seat of the car. I can’t remember nice memories of my dad. When I try to think about him, all I can see is him covered in blood and his face and head—” Alice put her hands over her ears and rocked back and forth. “It’s in my head, it’s in my head.”

  This was a full-blown meltdown and Wendy had to do something quickly. She gently placed her hands over Alice’s and said, “Alice, look at me. Look at me, please, and I’ll help you. Trust me.”

  It didn’t happen straight away, but after a while Wendy felt Alice’s hands under hers relax and fall away. Wendy cradled her despondent face and said, “Look at me, Alice.”

  Alice looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

  “Now breathe with me,” Wendy said.

  After a few minutes, Alice’s breathing calmed.

  “Good girl, good girl. Now I want you to tell me the happiest memory with your dad.”

  “I can’t, I can only see blood and—”

  “You can. Keep looking in my eyes and think hard.” Wendy could see the strain it was causing Alice. “Find it, even if you can only see it faded in your mind. Find it and tell me.”

  “When I was little, my dad picked me up from nursery early because my mum was in hospital having Noah. We went to a balloon shop, and I got to choose some balloons to take for my new brother. We took them into a hospital room, and my mum was sitting up in bed with Noah. I gave him the balloons.”

  “What do you remember feeling?” Wendy asked.

  “Happy and excited. I really wanted a brother. Mum was smiling and Dad was too. He put his arm around Mum.”

  This was the part she hoped would help Alice. “Okay, now shut your eyes and imagine the bad memory of the accident on a TV screen. We’ll call that channel one. Can you see that in your head?”

  Alice nodded, her lip trembling.

  “Now I want you to picture the good, happy memory on the screen—that’ll be channel two, okay?”

  “Uh-huh,” Alice replied.

  “Imagine it as bright and colourful and happy as you can. Can you see it?” Wendy asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, open your eyes.”

  Wendy got up and sat on the bed. She beckoned Alice up to her, and Wendy put her arm around her. “Now every time your bad memories come into your head, I want you to close your eyes, point your remote control at the TV screen in your head, and change the channel to number two. Can you do that for me?”

  Alice gave her the tiniest of smiles. “I’ll try.”

  Wendy kissed her forehead. “It’ll take practice—those bad thoughts will try to worm their way in—but if you keep trying, you can do it.”

  Alice threw her arm
s around Wendy. “Thanks, Wendy. Will you stay until I fall asleep?”

  “Of course I will.”

  That was one crisis averted. Now she had to find a way for Alice and Noah to bond with Trent. That should be easy. Not.

  * * *

  Trent unlocked the door and put her case down on the kitchen island. The place was very tidy, but some subtle things were different and made her flat seem less empty and lonely. There were some toys that Wendy must have bought today, piled tidily in a storage box in the living room area, Wendy’s guitar leaning against the wall, and a piano keyboard sitting on the dining table.

  She must play piano too. Talented girl.

  It was strange, but only yesterday she would have sworn she would panic at these signs of the children taking over the flat, but Trent had to admit she had a warm feeling not coming home to a dark empty flat.

  The last time she had ever had a glimpse of this feeling was coming home from work and finding Becca cooking her dinner. That was such a long time ago.

  Trent sighed and walked over to the fridge to get a bottle of water. She stopped in her tracks when she saw two pictures stuck to the fridge door. One was a childlike picture of her apartment building with four figures standing at the bottom, and Trent’s, Wendy’s, Alice’s, and Noah’s names underneath.

  The picture was bright with a large sun painted in one corner. Even if Wendy hadn’t printed Noah’s name on the paper, Trent would have known it was his. Noah was a bright, smiley child and didn’t yet feel the full force of losing his father. The picture made her smile. Even though she had tried her best to ignore him this morning, he still included her in his picture.

  She turned her gaze to the picture next to it and felt guilt and sadness at Alice’s picture. It had the figures of Wendy, Noah, and Alice, and the sky above them was nothing but black.

  Trent was hit with memories of drawing countless pictures like this when she lost her mother, and the confusion and loneliness her mother’s death brought. She wasn’t in the picture, and it was hardly surprising since she was pushing Alice and Noah away just like her own father had done, but she didn’t know how to rectify it.

  Trent grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and walked to the bedrooms to see if everyone was settled. As it had been the night before, Alice’s room’s door was open. She peeked in and saw Alice sleeping in Wendy’s arms, and she had also dropped off to sleep.

  She felt her heart thud at the gentle maternal care Wendy was giving Alice. Trent knew without a doubt she had picked the right nanny.

  Alice had obviously had a bad night, and now she felt even guiltier for going out tonight. That was something her father had done. Did she want to be him?

  Wendy must have heard her because she moved and opened her eyes. She gazed at Trent, but Trent didn’t know what to say, so she retreated back to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

  After a few seconds she heard Wendy’s voice behind her. “Hi, did you have a good evening?”

  “Yes,” Trent lied. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

  “That would be nice.” Wendy stretched and her short pyjama T-shirt rode up, giving Trent a look at her body. It was funny—Claudia had been all over Trent, kissing her and trying to seduce her into bed, and her body felt nothing, but a glimpse at Wendy’s midriff made Trent feel that all too familiar tightening in her stomach.

  Wendy’s body was so different from Claudia’s. Where Claudia prized her ultra-thin angular body, Wendy had a softer, curvaceous figure, and Trent much preferred it.

  She gave herself a shake and got a second cup from the cupboard. Trent couldn’t think like that.

  Wendy popped up on the stool at the kitchen island while Trent poured the tea. Trent handed Wendy a cup and sat beside her.

  “Sorry if I woke you when I checked on Alice,” Trent said.

  “That’s okay. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep there, but she had some bad nightmares again and was inconsolable.”

  Trent nodded and tapped her fingers on her cup nervously. Wendy realized that even though Trent was extremely confident, this situation, having children and a nanny in her house, made her nervous and unsure how to react. It was out of her comfort zone.

  “Did Noah settle down to sleep after his bed biscuits?”

  Wendy smiled. “He did. I was so glad you called. Alice had a difficult day, and that makes Noah remember his dad, and then he gets upset, so it was really important to have his bedtime routine.”

  “I should have thought about it earlier.” Trent stared down into her teacup and said, “And Alice? How was she tonight?”

  Wendy sighed. “She had bad nightmares. I heard her screaming, and I ran through to her as quickly as I could. Once I got her calmed down enough, she talked quite a bit. She can’t get the image of her dad after the accident out of her head. She says it’s there every time she shuts her eyes. I taught her a technique to try to manage the memories, but even an adult would struggle to control them—for a child it’s even worse.”

  “The social worker did say she saw some of his body,” Trent said.

  “She saw everything, saw it happen, and was there waiting for help for a while with him before the ambulance came.”

  “Jesus,” Trent said.

  “It’s going to take a lot of work with a therapist to help Alice.”

  Trent rubbed a scar just above her eyebrow. Wendy had noticed her doing this a few times when she appeared tense.

  “Has your friend given you any names of therapists yet?” Trent said.

  “Yes, one locally who works out of her home, and one who has offices in Harley Street, so she’s quite expensive.”

  Trent looked up and said firmly, “The one in Harley Street—give me her number, and I’ll have my secretary book an appointment for her. I want only the best for Alice, for them both. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. My mother died when I was very young.”

  Wendy caught her breath. Was this the same woman who walked out of the flat without looking back this morning? She was so much more open, more concerned.

  “I’m sorry, Trent. Maybe you could talk to Alice about it? Show her you came through the same thing?”

  Trent looked horrified. “No, no, I couldn’t do that. Let her talk to the professional. I saw you bought some toys?”

  Suddenly Wendy was worried she had done the wrong thing. “Yes, I hope that was okay. You did say to get what they needed—I have all the receipts.”

  “Of course it’s okay. Get them whatever they need or want—don’t worry about the cost,” Trent said firmly.

  Something in Wendy’s mind flagged a warning. Trent was using money to show care. That seemed to be the only way Trent knew how to emotionally communicate, but still it was a step forward from this morning. Maybe Wendy would be able to knit this unexpected family together after all.

  Chapter Eight

  Becca sat at the kitchen table at her laptop poring over the internet as she had been much of the last few hours. She heard tires on the gravel driveway out at the front of the house. She looked at her watch and saw it was two o’clock. Far too early for Dale to be home, but a minute later Dale walked through the kitchen door.

  “Hey, hen.”

  Becca sat back and smiled as Dale took off her work boots. “Did you run away from work today?”

  “Nah, there wasn’t much on, so I gave myself an afternoon off. One of the perks of being your own boss is being able to delegate so you can see more of your family.”

  She could see Dale had been for a haircut on her way home. Dale was like a teenage boy about her hair and loved Becca to notice it, like it, and make a fuss over her, but Becca loved to tease her a bit and pretend she didn’t see it.

  “As long as Sammy and Val don’t mind,” Becca said.

  Dale walked around the table and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “Nah, business is good and we’re all doing well.” She stood back and preened like a peacock waiting for the validation she always wanted from Becca. “So
, you notice anything different?” Dale said.

  Becca folded her arms and pretended to think. “Erm…new shade of lipstick?”

  “Oh, aye, that’s exactly what it is. Come on.”

  Becca broke and giggled. “Your hair is lovely.”

  Dale smoothed her hand over her precisely waxed hair. “Bloody outstanding, isn’t it?”

  Dale’s hair was a barometer of fashion trends. Since Becca met her, it had evolved from short and messy on top to this much more precise and sharp haircut. Dale had a friend who owned her own barber’s and who kept Dale’s precious hair looking good.

  “So tell me, what’s this called?” Becca asked.

  Dale grabbed a drink from the fridge and sat at the kitchen table. “Undercut on the sides, with a hard parting and comb-over. Cool, eh?”

  Becca presumed the line shaved in her hair was the hard parting. “You make more fuss than me about haircuts, darling.”

  Dale winked at her. “Well, I’ve got to look good for my posh girl. Is my wee yin sleeping?”

  “She is, so don’t wake her,” Becca warned.

  “I wouldnae dare. Are you working?” Dale indicated towards the laptop.

  As a freelance photographer, Becca was able to pick and choose her jobs, and she worked mostly from home. When she had to go out on site, either Dale would take time off or Granny Sadie next door would babysit.

  “No, I finished up my last job this morning. I’ve been trying to think what I could get Trent for her birthday at the end of the month. She’s going to be forty.”

  “Oh, aye, I forgot she was going to be old,” Dale joked and laughed.

  “No jokes. I’m catching up with her,” Becca said.

  Dale took her hand and said in that sexy voice of hers, “Don’t worry, babe. I love being married to a sexy older woman. I’ll be your toy boy.”

  Becca snorted. “You’re too old to be a toy boy, darling. I’m only a few years older than you.”

  Dale smoothed her hand over her hair and said, “But I’m like twenty-one in spirit years.”