The Secret

by Maggie Cole

  Tom chuckled. "Besides the Keri issue, I think this is great news."

  "You do?" I asked in surprise.

  Tom grinned. "Yes. Two of my favorite people."

  Collin released a deep breath. He had worried about what Tom would think, too. I was clueless as to why we’d both worried about what Tom thought, but apparently, we had.

  "This still has to stay on the down-low." Collin pointed out.

  Tom nodded. "Understand, but, at some point, Keri will get over it. I don't think you have to worry about it. I know him pretty well. After he blows up, he will come to his senses. It would be suicide for him to fire you. Or the ladies, for that matter."

  Collin exhaled.

  I leaned into his chest and he kissed me on the head.

  "We have another situation too." Liv turned to Tom.

  "What's that?"

  We filled Tom in about the current issues with sponsors, including Turbo, who threatened to pull out of deals with Keri and Sam. Then, we told him about our plan.

  "I'll be the bait," I volunteered.

  Collin's head whipped toward me. "I said no to that. I'm not letting you near those animals."

  Tom started laughing. Collin shot him a surprised glare. "You could support me on this, man."

  "I'm sorry, Collin. We have a history with Liv and Meg liking to be the bait." He told Collin the story about how Liv had to be the bait to set him free from his secret.

  Collin sat and listened while Tom finished the story. "Well, I didn't know the entire story, but I think that fills in the gaps now."

  "Now that you know my dirty laundry, why don't you let us all help you out with this?"

  Collin was unsure. "I don't know, man. I don't want to involve you. You already stuck your neck out the other night when you helped me pull those two thugs off each other."

  "They drank too much. You know that they aren't thugs," Tom stated.

  Collin took a deep breath. "You're right. But I still can't believe they did that with Meg between them. She could have seriously been injured."

  "Total dumbasses, yes, but not thugs," Tom declared.

  Kip brought the guys’ dinner to the table. We proceeded to talk about our plan to rectify the current sponsor issues.

  Collin finished his dinner and sat back. He put his arm around me and rubbed his thumb on my arm.

  I rested my head on him, thrilled to be out in public with him and not hiding. We needed to come clean with Keri. One-hundred percent, this was the relationship I wanted with Collin, I thought.

  Around midnight, we decided to head home. Collin put his hand on the small of my back and guided me out of the kitchen. We were almost out of the restaurant when we spotted Keri at the front entrance.

  I stepped out of Collin's grasp and hoped Keri wouldn't see us. We weren't that lucky.

  He jumped up and ran over to us. He seemed sober enough, but then again, I had consumed a lot of alcohol, so my judgment wasn't the best.

  "Meg, did you get my flowers?" Keri asked.

  I rolled my eyes. "If you think flowers are going to make it right, Keri—"

  He grabbed my hand. "Meg, please, forgive me. I'm so, so sorry."

  Collin stepped forward, but Tom pushed in front of him.

  "Keri." He fist-bumped him.

  "Hey man, I'm just trying to get Meg to forgive me." He gave Tom his puppy dog eyes.

  Tom shook his head in understanding. He put his arm around him and guided him back to his table. People in the restaurant snapped pictures and stared.

  Liv grabbed me. "Come on, Meg." She steered me out of the restaurant, and Collin followed.

  The car pulled up as Tom walked out.

  Liv waved for Tom to join us. "Let's get into the same car, so Keri doesn't think anything is going on between Meg and Collin."

  We all jumped in the car.

  I frowned. "This is a tad ridiculous. Surely, we don't have to go to this extreme."

  "Collin, have your driver meet us up a few blocks," Liv instructed.

  Collin picked up his phone and did as Liv instructed. We drove a few blocks up the road. Collin and I switched cars.

  "Collin, this is ridiculous," I repeated, once we were in the car.

  "Meg, I don't know the entire story, and why you told Liv, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt about that, but this doesn't change our situation. This is not the time for Keri to know. Tom and Liv know. Fine. They will keep our secret. But nothing has changed."

  I stared at him and realized I'd had my taste of freedom with him. I wouldn't—couldn't—go back to hiding out. And it wasn't the alcohol talking.

  Our eyes met. I saw Collin holding firm to our secret.

  The truth hit me like a brick in the face. "Take me to my house, Collin."

  "You want to stay at your place instead of mine?"

  I shook my head, on the verge of tears, and tried to keep it together.

  Confusion filled his face.

  "Just me, Collin," I quietly said.

  Hurt flashed across his face, and he jerked his head back. He briefly rolled down the window and told the driver to go to my address. Then, he rolled the window back up. "Want to tell me what's happening here?"

  I shook my head, afraid of what I would say.

  "Is this the alcohol talking or you?"

  I blinked tears out of my eyes. "I can't live like this anymore."

  His face changed from negotiator to confused again. "Like what?"

  "This..." I moved my hands between us in frustration and tried my hardest not to cry.

  Collin's voice made his hurt apparent. "You don't want to be with me?"

  I shook my head. "Not how you want me."

  "How's that?" He angrily tipped his head to the side and squinted at me in confusion.

  "Hidden. A secret."

  "Meg, we've been through this," Collin ran his hands through his hair as the car stopped outside my building.

  "You're either all in or all out, Collin. I can't do this anymore." I opened the door, as tears fell down my face. I hoped he would follow me as I raced inside my building, but he didn't.

  Inside my apartment, I collapsed on the floor. Pain surged through my chest like never before.

  My heart was broken. I was broken. No doubt, Collin Corwin was my soulmate. But it could never be real the way he needed it to be.

  Collin

  My worst nightmare came true. Meg no longer wanted me.

  I sat in the car, shell shocked, and wondered if it had really happened or if I was so stressed out and tired, I'd imagined things.

  No, it happened. Meg left me.

  I wanted to go after her, to beg her to reconsider, but she made it clear she didn't want me.

  The car stopped outside of my building. Like a zombie, I walked into the elevator, down the hall, and into my apartment.

  As the shock wore off, it sank in that Meg broke up with me. My stomach churned. I began to cry for the first time in years.

  How could I have my dream girl and then lose her? Surely, this was a sick joke?

  When I walked into the bedroom, I saw her clothes in my dirty clothes bin. I grabbed her shirt, laid down on the bed, and curled up to it. It smelled like her and I sobbed harder.

  No matter how screwed up the situation was, I knew we could figure out how to close the Turbo deal. I thought we would figure it out together. We were so close, but she didn't love me enough to wait a little bit longer.

  Foolish. That's what I was. I should never have allowed us to begin as a secret in the first place. How stupid could I have been? From day one, I knew she would always be more than just fun and games.

  I started to get angry. Not at her; at myself. She deserved to have my love shouted from the rooftops, not hidden like a dirty secret. How could I have done that to her?

  Desperate, I tried to call her, not sure what I would even say. Her phone went straight to voicemail.

  I hung up.

  Then I called several more times ju
st to hear her voice. God, I was pathetic.

  My phone rang. I hoped it was her. I laughed when I saw the screen.

  The universe must love playing these sick games on me tonight, I thought.

  It was Keri. I let it go to voicemail.

  My shock started to wear off, and my heart quickly broke into more pieces. Tears streamed down my face, once more. Why couldn't she wait a little bit longer?

  Over the weekend, exhausted from not sleeping and crying on and off, I tried to field calls from Turbo and other sponsors but didn't know if I made any sense or not.

  It hadn't been twenty-four hours since Meg broke up with me when I heard the buzzer. New hope surged through me that she had come to her senses. Maybe she forgot her key?

  I answered it and prayed I would hear her voice, but it wasn't her. I hit the buzzer. A few minutes later, Tom handed me a beer and a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

  Like a little kid, I cried my eyes out in front of him. I loved her, but she didn't want me anymore, I told Tom, not even sure what else I blabbed to him. I didn't hear a word he said. The entire conversation was one big blur.

  I was a blubbering fool, in so much pain that I wasn't even embarrassed about it.

  Twenty-four hours earlier, I had everything. Now, I had lost it all.

  14

  Meg

  Liv called the next day, around 11 a.m. "I've been thinking about your situation—"

  "There's no situation. It's over."

  "What?"

  The waterworks started once more. I hadn't slept all night and felt exhausted.

  "I'm coming over."

  "No, don't."

  She arrived within thirty minutes.

  I explained what happened.

  "Meg, you know it won't be forever, right? Collin's only trying to give Keri some time to move past you and figure out how to tell him."

  Adamantly, I shook my head. "I can't do it anymore. Last night was perfect—the four of us, out in public, having a real life. I don't want to have to hide. I'm tired of going to events by myself and being alone in the real world."

  Liv rubbed my back. "You two seem perfect together. I think, if you give it a bit more time, this won't even be an issue."

  "I can't. I…just can't anymore."

  "Okay," Liv pulled me into a hug, and I cried my eyes out some more.

  The entire weekend I spent in an exhausted state of tears, eating pints of Ben and Jerry's that Tom had dropped off, and watching multiple showings of Bridget Jone's Diary. When Tom came over, I didn't let him stay long and hardly heard a word he said.

  Monday came too fast. I knew it was coming and was going to be horrible. Back-to-back meetings with Keri and Sam were on the schedule. Collin would be there. We set the meetings up Friday afternoon while Liv and I were at happy hour.

  My swollen face had dark circles under my eyes, and my nose was bright red. I applied my makeup but realized nothing could fix my new look.

  The power suit I wore didn't make me feel more any more confident. I felt and looked like utter shit.

  I arrived at the office around 7 a.m. My meetings with Collin were at 11 a.m. and 12 p.m. I prayed for a miracle that they would be canceled, but I knew they wouldn't be, and there was no way I couldn't go. It would be unprofessional, and that wasn't me.

  Liv walked in around 7:30 a.m. and came to my office. I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I looked like shit. "Meg, want to talk?”

  I held up my hand. I didn't want to break down in tears at the office.

  She sighed and left me in peace.

  Eleven a.m. arrived quickly. When I walked into the conference room, unable to help myself, I snuck a glance at Collin.

  He looked like he hadn't slept either. His negotiator face couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes.

  As if he could feel my stare, he turned to me. I saw the negotiator leave for a moment, and his expression was replaced with pain.

  My heart shattered once more. But I reminded myself that he insisted on keeping me a secret. I can never be what he needs.

  I jerked my eyes from him and over to Keri, who sat surprisingly calm and quiet. For the first time, he didn't try to talk to me or run his mouth.

  Liv started the meeting. "Keri, we have to do some damage control, or Turbo is going to say bye-bye to you."

  Keri sighed. "My actions are inexcusable, and I wish I could take it back. Meg, I'm sorry. Liv, whatever you need me to do to try and fix this, I will."

  He caught me off guard. Is this the same Keri James I know?

  Liv continued. "Good. I'm glad to hear that. We've set up an event at the Community Center in your old neighborhood—“

  "No way, Liv. Anything but that."

  "I'm not done."

  Well, Liv is in her 'I'm not taking any shit' mood today.

  Keri once again surprised me when he didn't argue.

  "We've also set up an event at the Community Center Sam used to belong to, and you will both go to each other's events." Liv paused and waited for Keri to interrupt.

  Keri's face turned red with anger. He glared at Liv but kept quiet.

  "You and Sam will also hang out. If you want to have some drinks, that's fine, but only if you can keep your head on straight. We also have a dinner scheduled for you," Liv informed him.

  Keri gazed over at me. "Meg, you agree with this?"

  "If you want your shoe, and to merchandize, then yes, this is what you need to do."

  He turned to Collin. "And you?"

  I expected to see the negotiator, but he was nowhere to be seen. I saw a man who had been put through the wringer by his client but somehow still cared about him. It hurt more because I loved that about Collin.

  "You've always trusted Meg's opinion before...because it's always been right. You don't need my advice on this."

  I gaped at Collin, as my heartstrings pulled so tight, I reminded myself to breathe. His laser stare focused directly at Keri.

  Keri stared at me. Then Liv. Next Collin. Finally, he turned back to me. His eyes paralyzed on my face.

  I walked over and sat down next to him. This time, there were no sexual innuendos, no tricks, only Keri and me—two friends.

  "If you want it, Keri, you gotta be all in. No more shenanigans. No more drunken escapades. Just one-hundred percent focused on your future. Leave the boy and morph into a man." I could feel Collin's stare pierce through me. Without a doubt, I knew he recalled my requirement to be all in with me.

  Keri had fear in his eyes, but for the first time, I could see an understanding.

  Slowly, "Okay, Meg. I trust you."

  Nodding, I turned to Liv and Collin. "Can I talk to Keri privately, please?"

  "Meg…" Collin's expression was the same as in the restaurant when he insisted he didn't want me being bait.

  I glared at him. He didn't have that right anymore.

  He closed his eyes, looking defeated. Slowly, Collin stood up and walked to the door. He hesitated for a moment before he left the room with Liv.

  Keri waited for me to start talking.

  "Keri, I want you to know something."

  "What's that?"

  "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, so can you try to understand what I'm saying and not go down the wrong path?"

  He took a deep breath and nodded.

  I took my fingers and tilted his head, so his eyes were right on mine. "I love who you are as a person—this person—right now, in this room. You're showing maturity, respect, and humility, and I really love this person."

  "But you aren't in love with me," he stated more than asked.

  I nodded. "I want to be friends with you forever because I love this person. I also know, if you show the world this person, you can get whatever it is you want in life. You'll have Turbo and any other company eating out of the palm of your hand. But you need to let them into this person, not the arrogant, egotistical player you normally let everyone see."

  "I understand what you'r
e telling me."

  I smiled at him.

  "Meg, can I ask you something?"

  "Yes."

  "Will you try not to take it the wrong way?"

  I smiled and appreciated that he used my own words to communicate with me.

  "Are you okay? You look like you've been up all night crying and I'm worried about you. Do I need to go hurt some dude or something?" He put his hand on my arm.

  Fresh tears flowed down my face.

  He quickly put his arms around me. "Meg, tell me what's going on," he demanded.

  I shook my head. "I can't."

  "I won't judge you ever. I promise. If there is another guy, it's okay. I only want you to be happy. I know that you won't be with me. I've come to realize that, and if all I can be is your friend, then at least I get that."

  His admission made me cry harder. Keri pulled me tighter to him and let me sob on him, and told me everything would be all right.

  At that moment, I thought about the irony. I should have run out to Collin and told him that Keri didn't care. But Collin hadn't been man enough to choose me, and I wouldn't beg him to love me.

  I realized that I had soaked Keri's shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm a total hot mess."

  He smiled at me with his cocky smile that initially made me attracted to him. "You're the hottest hot mess I've ever seen."

  I laughed through my tears.

  We walked out to the lobby. Keri stepped on the elevator, and I assured him I would let him know the details for the next steps. After giving me a final hug, he left.

  I turned to see Collin, staring at me through the glass of the other conference room. Without a doubt, he had been watching Keri and me. Our eyes met as I walked past him. I thought I saw tears in his, but I couldn't be sure because there were still some in mine.

  Quickly, I scurried to my office and shut the door. Fifteen minutes until our meeting with Sam and then I could get past Collin Corwin...at least, for the day.

  Fifteen minutes passed fast. When I walked back into the conference room, Sam sat in the same chair where Keri had sat. "Meg," he nodded like a schoolboy in trouble.

  What on earth is going on with these boys today?