by Leaona Luxx
"You should've read ahead and warned me I was about to crash and burn." I pat her back, helping her into the backseat. "By the way, don't tell Mark. I'll never live it down if he finds out."
Chapter Nine
Scarlet
I dart into the first exam room and wait for Amy to pass by. The minute she does, I grab her arm, yanking her into the room. She falls against the door as it closes shut.
"Cheese and rice! What is your problem, woman?"
"Umm, he called." I shove my trembling hands in my pockets, praying she doesn't notice.
Her face is nothing but teeth, she smiles so broadly. "What did he say?"
"He asked if Doc could wear a sock."
Her brows furrow. "Come again? I thought you said he wanted to know if he could put socks on a dog."
"I know," I throw my hands in the air. "of all things."
"Huh? Are you kidding me? No... can I play with your stethoscope?" She waggles her brows.
"Eww, no. Weirdo!" I cringe internally thinking of how long it's been since I've been examined, I think I've forgotten how nice being touched can be. Even worse, my lady bits get happy thinking about him checking me out.
"So why are you blushin'? Oh, you're imagining him doin' the bump-n-grind on you." Amy humps the air, swatting her hand around.
"I can't even with you right now!" I brush past her, to walk out the door. "You're a hot mess!"
She shrugs. "I know you wanna be!"
She's right. I would love to spend a night in the arms of a loving person. Someone to talk to about life and to laugh with, but I don't think it's going to happen for me. I had one great love, and that's gone now.
The day drags by, and I'm beginning to regret telling Amy anything. I love her, she's one of my best friends, but she's driving me crazy. She has the best of intentions; I'd like to date again.
"Then again, I'd have to wash my hair, and I've already done that once this week." Sarcasm is my best friend these days, it keeps people at arm's length. The months after my relationship ended, I hated everyone. I couldn't stand happy people... couples.
The reality is love is never going to happen for me, ever again. Life tends to give you what it wants, no matter how much you work toward happiness, it hands you a hand full of half-truths and lies.
Cruel, albeit possibly unintentional, things happen when you fall in love. I've sworn it off and vowed I'd never do it again. Some people think I'm ridiculous, I think I'm proactive.
Protect my heart at all costs. I spent years giving it away to someone, in the end, I'm the one standing here alone and broken. The thing is, I haven't fallen out of love with him, so there's no room for anyone else.
"I need this day to be over already." I fall into my desk chair, exhausted and depressed.
"Then go home."
"I can't, as much as I'd like to."
"Fine! Take tomorrow off and have a girl's day. Do something fun or nothing at all, but do it for you." She crosses her arms, glaring at me.
She's right, I need a day from everything and everyone. "A day filled with peace and ice cream sounds perfect."
"Not what I was thinking, but okay! You do you, Boo."
"You might just be the oddest, coolest person I know."
"I think you might be right." She tilts her head in thought.
Gena, another tech here, pops her head in the door. "Scar... a German Shepard was just brought in; I think he's gotten into a bee's nest."
"Amy--" By the time I'm out of my chair, she's out the door. She can practically read my mind, except when it comes to men. She's utterly daft in that arena.
"I've got you...go!"
Afternoon turns into evening, and once again, I'm dragging my ass home as the sun falls into the ocean. The pinks and blues play so well with the purple sky at night.
Like every other day, my mood completely changes once my home comes into view just ahead of me. I smile, knowing my safe harbor is close, my beacon in the storm awaits me.
A low murmur welcomes me as I walk down the hall. I pause at the door, hoping to eavesdrop on the private conversation. When I can't make anything out, I slowly push the door open.
"Well, hello there." A smile breaks across her face, filling my heart with so much joy. Three steps later, I lean over and pull her into my arms.
She lays her hand on my face, gazing into my eyes. "Momma."
"How are you, beauty?" I nestle her into my arms, sitting in the rocker beside her bed. "How was your day? I missed you."
"She's a dream, the best baby ever." Michelle leans against the frame, smiling at us. She's been a lifesaver from the moment she started working for me, I'd be lost without her.
"Thank you." I kiss the top of my daughter's head. "I'm sorry I'm so late; today was insane."
"It happens, I'm glad she stayed awake until you could get here." Michelle bends, grabbing her purse from the floor. "I'll see you two tomorrow."
I run my finger over my baby's cheek, missing her from the mere thought of leaving again. "Actually, I'm taking the day off. We're going to spend the day together and let someone else carry the weight of the world."
"Good for you! It's about time you make the others work as hard as you do. What's the point of owning the place if you never get to enjoy life?" Michelle beams at me, reassuring me of my decision.
"They'll have to tomorrow because we're going to have some fun." I stand and follow Michelle to the door. "I'll be here Wednesday unless you need me sooner."
"Sounds nice. Be careful." We wait for her to pull out, waving goodbye to her as she goes. We shut and lock the door before heading back into the bedroom.
I place her in the pack-n-play and jump into the shower. After a quick wash, I hop out and dry off quickly. The babbling from the other room cracks me up as I hurry back.
"Hello, doll." I tiptoe over, picking her up before slipping into bed. "Let's break all the rules for a little while, I need all the good you can give me."
She snuggles close to me, twirling my hair around her finger. This is my happy place, my comfort zone, and I don't want to ever leave it. The world is cruel, and there's no love like that of a child.
"I love you, Emmie Kate," I whisper into her hair as we fall fast asleep.
Morning rolls around, and we decide to have a play date. I can't remember the last time I was able to take her, I miss it. Emmie is the light of my life, my best friend.
Until she's a teen anyway.
I pile her long, wavy red hair on top of her head, showcasing her blue eyes. White tee shirt and denim shorts with a plaid bandanna, and I dress to match. Because what's better than two redheads?
I send a quick text as we're about to leave the driveway. Emmie has family here, and it's been far too long since she's seen them. When I was younger, life was perfect when my cousins came over to play.
Scarlet: Hey! Can we be pests today?
Reese: WHAT? You have the day off?
Scarlet: I played hooky.
Reese: The door is always open.
Scarlet: We're on the way!
Reese: Yay!
I toss my phone in my purse, and we're on our way. Reese is my cousin, I moved here after college because we needed some family. She's my dad's niece, her dad wasn't much of anything to anyone. We're the only family she ever knew, now she's all we have.
Reese is an attorney and married to Walker Pennington. They have a set of twins Roman, and Sallie, about the same age of Emmie. She loves running around with them until she falls over from exhaustion.
Ten minutes later, I pull up to their house. As I'm getting Emmie out, screams and laughter echo from inside. Emmie giggles, clapping her hands. She's not as verbal as she should be, I'm hoping this visit will help jump start her.
"Hey, y'all!" Reese yells from the front door, waving wildly.
"Hello, people! How are y'all doin'?" Emmie is wiggling like a worm in my arms as we step up on the porch. She's leaning in every direction, doing her best to get a peek inside. I
set her down as soon as we clear the threshold, and Reese shuts the door.
"It amazes me how two professional women, like yourselves, can sound so country within two point two seconds of being in the same room together." Walker kisses Reese's cheek on his way out.
"Don't leave on our account." I chide him.
He shakes his head. "I ain't honey, I'm gonna go to town for a meetin'."
"You hurry back, ya hear?"
"Pleasure to see you." He throws his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side for an awkward hug.
I lean in, giving him a pat on the back. "You too, but seriously, I hope we're not running you off."
"Not in the least," he smiles. "Lachlan and I have some business before I meet Lea about the shelter. By the way, are you still interested in donating some services?"
"Absolutely. I'll be back at work tomorrow, just give me a call and tell me what you need."
"Good deal, I appreciate you. Later, gorgeous." He wraps Reese up, bending her back and pressing his lips to hers. They're sweet and so passionate, I blush, turning my head.
Walker's also an attorney, a very well-connected one at that. He and Reese spend most of their time working a shelter for domestic violence victims and their families. Their drive for this community is unequaled.
"Let's follow the laughter into the family room." Reese waves through the house to where the kids are playing. "I'm so happy you two are here. How have you been?"
"Busy, but you know how it is with a business." She nods with me. "Work has been rough lately, and I needed a minute. So here we are."
I sit across from her as she plops down into their sofa. "But..."
"How do you know me so well? I feel like my mom is around the corner, telling you everything."
"It's a gift." She half shrugs. "Seriously, for you to take a day off like this, something must be on your mind."
"Are you saying I don't visit unless something’s wrong?" I pick at imaginary lint on my shorts.
"No, I'm saying something is on your mind, so you came to visit to talk to me about what’s wrong. Two... totally different things."
How will I ever be able to explain this to her? She has a wonderful life, and here I am, all lonely and heartbroken. Life used to be so much simpler, lying to her was too. This story is something I’ve kept close to my heart; I’m not sure sharing will do anyone any good.
“The thing on my mind is what’s wrong. It’s the same thoughts that are always wrong and forever on my mind. I miss him. I need him here with us. I want to be whole again, but I know it’s impossible.”
“You know I would never push you, but you need to think about you and Emmie. Maybe it’s time to let go, to let him go.”
I lean over, putting my head against my knees. “I pray every night for God to let me forget him. The pain of never being with him again is more than I can handle on my best days.”
“What happened, Scarlet? You’ve never told any of us, you just don’t talk about him. I mean, it’s not that you need to share it now, but maybe talking about it with me or someone would help.”
“No offense, but it’s not that easy. There’s so much to tell, years of history all now thrown away. No going back or recovering. He’s gone, and this week has made it harder.” A dull thud replaces my once beating heart.
Reese switches positions, getting closer to me as my voice lowers. “Keep talking, it doesn’t matter what you say, just keep letting it go.”
“We met in college and fell in love. Losing him has been harder than when I lost my parents. We’re were so in love, Reese.” The vastness that lies within me echoes my sorrow. It’s the only time I don’t feel alone with my pain.
“If you know he’s gone, what’s keeping you from moving on? I mean, why not find someone else?”
"My broken heart. Emmie and being a single parent. The loss of him and how bad I still hurt. Loving him still. Why's and why not? Everything and nothing. Life." My pulse slows, and my extremities feel numb. I only wish it were my heart.
She listens until I'm finished and then sits forward. "Are you about done?"
"Yeah, I suppose." I pout, hoping she'll think I'm on the verge of losing it and not put me in my place. But alas, that's not who Reese is, and I wouldn't want her any other way. Well, maybe today I do.
"Good, because I don't ever want you to utter that shit again." I refuse to look at her, so she does what all great women do... she raises the stakes, not her voice. "You are a successful veterinarian with your own practice. Emmie is well cared for, intelligent, and the spitting image of her mom. Except for her eyes, they're her dads, but we can't beat her for that yet. She'll be a teen soon, save that shit for then.”
"I digress... you own your home, your bank account is sweet, and need no one, and that includes a man. You're smart and business savvy, do I even need to tell you how beautiful you are, inside and out? I didn't think so, cause we're family. Right here, girl." She holds her fist out for me to bump it.
I run my hand over my face, drying it. "So why do I feel like I've lost everything?"
"Because you did," she takes my hand. "but you didn't allow it to kill you. You took it by the horns and used it to become a strong and independent woman."
"You're right," I roll my eyes, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. "you're also older than me."
"Hag!" She slaps my leg and runs as fast as she can through the house.
I gape before dashing after her. "Oh, no, you didn't! I’m gonna snap me a ginger!"
We spend the day laughing and playing with our children. Nothing I should be doing but precisely the soup my soul needed. I long for days just like this, full of family and love. Emmie and I may not have everything, but together, we have it all.
Chapter Ten
Creed
"Hello, gorgeous."
"Hi," Mark sticks his head around the corner as I greet Lee. I really wasn't looking forward to seeing him today, I know he's going to ask questions I don't want to answer.
Lee waves from her desk. "Come on over and sit down, we want all the details."
"We'll chat later when it's less crowded in here."
"For fuck's sake, sit your ass in the seat and talk." I flip Mark off as I pass by him. I take the chair closest to Lee, snickering when Mark's big ass squeezes into the smaller one next to me.
"You alright, Twilight?" I smirk. "Sprinkle some sparkly dust on it, maybe it'll help."
"How did things go?" Lee intervenes, knowing all too well; this could go on for the rest of the day.
"I hate to admit it, but I had a good time. They never pressured me, we had conversations about everything but the obvious, and Kathryn hugged me."
"I'm so happy for you. All of this worry and things went great."
"You've got to be kidding me?" Mark cuts his eyes to Lee. "You mean to tell me we've been in this thing with you for all this time, and you're going to hold out on telling us about the girl?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I feign innocence. Which gets me nowhere with these two and Mark’s uncanny spidey senses. Damn special forces training!
"Just tell us, we'll find out one way or the other."
Lee's brow quirks. "You're smiling, and Doc isn't with you. It’s a natural deduction that you met a woman."
"So, now I can't smile without there being a reason. I like to smile. Smiling is nice. It's easy." How in the hell did these two figure this out? Lee, I understand, but this bone head beside me... no way is he that astute.
"Smiling looks good on you," Lee grins. "now, spill!"
"Fine, but there really isn't much to tell. Doc cut her foot while we were running on the beach Saturday morning. I found a vet nearby and took her there for stitches."
Lee nods. "Go on."
"What can I say, she's gorgeous and not interested in me."
"That's a given! She's a vet, so she's intelligent and some women like wounded creatures. Did you tell her you had..." Mark taps his temple. "you know, brai
n damage?"
I shift in my seat, glaring at him. "I don't have brain damage."
"Actually - " Lee grimaces, not wanting to agree with Mark.
"Don't encourage him! You all know I have a head trauma, which caused a traumatic brain injury. I don't have brain-damage." I flail my arms.
"It's okay little dude." he turns to Lee. "Is his sparkly helmet here? I think he's going to need it."
I rear back, flipping him off. "Fuck you, I'm done."
"Oh, stop! Ignore him, I need more deets."
"The big lug is right." I side-eye Mark. "Scarlet is breathtaking and intelligent, but I'm not the man for her. I'm damaged, no matter how much I'd like to pretend I'm not."
"Since when does anyone listen to him? You're not damaged, you have an injury." Lee narrows her eyes at me. I understand what she's telling me, I do. Moving beyond who I am now, and who I used to be, usually is the next step. Except, I'm not normal, and neither is my situation.
"Most injuries don't run the risk of causing someone else harm. That wouldn't be fair to her or me."
Mark shakes his head. "Get the hell out of here with that shit! You know damn well, that's an excuse. You went home and no issues, so now you're going to make one up."
"Why in the hell is Doctor Phillip here?" Quinn cuts in.
"Sure, guys. Tell everyone to come in and help diagnose me. By the way, its Phil."
Quinn's head bounces between Lee and me. "Who's Phil?"
"Sweet Tea and lemons!" I bound from my seat, headed toward the door before stopping in my tracks. I whirl around, eyes wide. "Where in the hell did that come from?"
"No clue, but it's fucking hilarious!" Quinn doubles over with laughter.
Mark taps the side of his head, eyes round. "Brain damage."