Best Behavior

by Wendy Francis

  She parks herself next to Joel, who is sitting on the U-Haul’s back step, awaiting Cody’s last boxes. “Did you talk to Roger?”

  “Yeah, he says Lily’s feeling a little better this morning. Sounds like they’ve got their work cut out for them, though. Lily doesn’t seem to think she has a drug problem.”

  Joel nods as if he’s heard this excuse a hundred times before. And he probably has from his students. “They’ll get through it,” he says now.

  “I think so, too.” And as soon as she says it, Meredith realizes how much she wants this to be true. Lily, it turns out, has been taking painkillers for only a few months. It’s not ideal, of course, but it’s not as if she’s been taking them for years. If anyone can beat this, Lily—who has weathered quite a lot of bad behavior from her new family—can. Lily, she admits, is a lot stronger than Meredith has given her credit for.

  Several yards away she sees her mother, who’s gone in search of coffee, heading back to them. Carol carries a box loaded up with foam cups and, it turns out, a bag stuffed with bagels. She passes them out and, after taking a bite, immediately declares the bagels subpar. “Not good at all. Too mushy.”

  Meredith glances at Joel and grins. “How is it, Mom, that you’re always armed with the perfect arch comment? Don’t ever change.”

  “And why would I?” Carol demands.

  “Absolutely right,” agrees Joel, letting go of a laugh. “Why would you? We wouldn’t want you to be any other way, Mom.”

  Just then, Meredith’s phone pings. It’s a text from Roger, a quick thank-you. She’s been emailing him articles about oxycodone and withdrawal all morning. While the paramedics had worked on Lily yesterday, she’d pulled him aside to inquire about the bottle of pills, and he’d acted completely surprised. “I had no idea Lily was even taking these,” he said. “How on earth did she get them?”

  “Probably a friend of a friend. That’s usually how it works,” Meredith said. “The important thing is to make sure she gets the help she needs.” She’d held off on delivering an entire lecture because it wasn’t what Roger needed to hear at the moment, but she wanted him to understand that Lily’s situation wasn’t so unusual. “There’s no shame in it. It’s an illness, just like diabetes or depression. Don’t blame Lily.”

  He shook his head, still in shock. “I don’t blame her. I blame myself. How could I have missed it?”

  “Lots of people do,” Meredith said gently. “It’s easy to miss.”

  Now she allows herself a moment to unwind in the bright sunshine, cupping the warm coffee in her hands, before they start the drive back to New Haven. The heat wave has finally broken, and a cool breeze blows through campus this morning. It’s been a long seventy-two hours. Meredith almost feels as if she has lived several lifetimes in the last three days. In other ways, it has gone by remarkably quickly. If someone had told her that she’d reach the end of the weekend actually caring for Lily, Meredith would have brushed it off as ridiculous. But she’s surprised to discover that she does care, hopes Lily will be okay. As it turns out, even the gorgeous Lily Landau is vulnerable—which somehow makes her more likable. In the same vein, if someone had said Cody would come an inch away from getting kicked out of school, Meredith would have thought it outrageous, impossible. And yet, they’ve lived through that drama, too. Other things she would have never predicted: Joel’s bumping into an old girlfriend. Joel growing jealous over Roger’s peck on the cheek. The fact that her daughter informed her this morning that Matt will be flying out to New Haven to visit in a few weeks. And Dawn’s flawless performance in helping her nurse Lily back to life.

  But perhaps the biggest surprise is a reckoning of her own kind—Meredith’s own realization that it’s time to let these incredible kids who are hers, who have been her life, fly. Not so long ago she could identify with the mother in the short film, Bao, who’s so desperate for her son to stay that she eats him up, her metaphorical dumpling, to keep him close. As soon as she watched that movie, Meredith got it instantly, understood that mother’s impulse wholeheartedly. Her love for Dawn and Cody is overwhelming, all-encompassing. She would happily gobble them up to keep them close.

  And yet, now, seventy-two hours later, she realizes the impossibility of this, the metaphorical devouring of her children. She knows there will always be another baby to tend to in her neonatal ward, another fragile soul in need of cradling whom she can bundle up in love. And while she may not have been the Jackie Onassis of graduations (far from it!), she will try to be more graceful when it comes to the next stage, the letting go. Her babies have grown up—they need to thrive, and no doubt stumble, on their own terms. She will be there for them, of course, only a phone call away. And she will arrive on a moment’s notice, if asked. But it’s time to give them the final, gentle push beyond the nest.

  Letting go, she realizes, may be the most important gift of all that she can give her children.

  Cody has returned with his final boxes, and Joel shoves them into the U-Haul until they barely just fit.

  “Well, kids,” he says, jangling his car keys, unable to hide his eagerness to get on the road any longer. “Say goodbye to the best four years of your life.”

  “Oh, stop it, honey,” Meredith scolds him. “The best is yet to come, right, guys?” She slides her arm through his, and then Dawn does the same, slipping one arm through Meredith’s and the other through her brother’s. “C’mon Mom, you’ve got to join in now,” coaxes Meredith. “Even Cody’s part of the human chain.” The human chain, she remembers, as her mother slides her arm through her grandson’s. Just like they used to make when the kids were little and everyone would curl up on the couch, their feet intertwined, and watch Friday night movies. Meredith gets that precious moment back now, her babies all grown. “I love you guys, you know that, right?”

  “Yes, Mom,” groan Dawn and Cody in unison, placating her.

  But Joel squeezes her hand and grins. “We know, honey. Boy, do we know.”

  A father in a Bolton Bullfrogs T-shirt walks by and stops to stare at them. “You guys want a picture?”

  Meredith laughs. She supposes they do look as if they’re posing. “Sure, why not?” She slips her phone out of her jeans pocket, sets it to photo mode, and steps out of line to hand it over to him. Then she darts back into place, linking her arms through Joel’s and Dawn’s again.

  “Ready?” the kind stranger calls out, and Meredith’s lips part into a smile.

  “Ready!” everyone shouts.

  Except this time, Meredith really means it.

  * * *

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  To the wonderful Meg Ruley and Annelise Robey at the Jane Rotrosen Agency, my heartfelt gratitude for your crackerjack advice, guidance, and soul-saving humor. To my editor extraordinaire, Michele Bidelspach, your keen editorial eye has made this book a thousand times better than it would have been otherwise. To the entire team at Graydon House, thanks for holding my book in your caring hands and giving it the attention it needs to go out into the world. To Sandra, thanks so much for the insight into the workings of the NICU, and to Officer Ken thank you for answering my questions about opioid abuse and naloxone. Any mistakes in the book are my own. To my sister-in-law Lynne, thanks for explaining the subtle differences between an “influencer” and an “enhancer” on social media. And to Trina, Sarah, and Jen, thank you for being such wonderful cheerleaders and friends.

  While any number of books and articles can be found on the scourge of opioid abuse in our nation, there were three books that I found particularly helpful in making sense of the epidemic. For an especially honest and human account of the heavy toll opioid abuse can take on a family look to Maureen Cavanagh’s memoir, If You Love Me: A Mother’s Journey Through Her Daughter’s Opioid Addiction (Henry Holt & Co., 2018). Also, Sam Quinone’s Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opioid Epidemic (Bloomsbury, 2016) provides a harrowing a
nd insightful overview. And Beth Macy’s Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and The Drug Company That Addicted America (Little, Brown and Company, 2018) highlights the perfect storm that cleared the pathway for addiction in our country.

  As ever, thank you most especially to my family—Mike, Nicholas, Katherine, and Michael—for your love and humor that see me through my writing days. And to my amazing nieces and nephews—Eva, Sophia, Aurelia, Joey, Mark, Mia, Sarah, Matt, and Sean (and, of course, my own kids)—I look forward to watching you parade proudly across the stage one day to collect your very own college diplomas. Much love to you all.

  BEST BEHAVIOR

  WENDY FRANCIS

  Reader’s Guide

  Questions for Discussion

  The twins’ college graduation represents very different things for each character. For Meredith, it’s the beginning of an era in which she fears she’ll lose them. For Lily, it’s the chance to become part of the family. For the twins, it’s freedom. Why do you think the author chose a graduation to bring this family together? What memories do you have of family graduation celebrations? What does graduation represent to you?

  How would you describe Meredith and Roger’s relationship at the beginning of the novel? How has time and distance informed their relationship? And how do you think their relationship changes as the story progresses? Why do you think the author chose to tell the story from Meredith’s, Joel’s and Lily’s points of view, but not Roger’s?

  At the beginning of the novel, Meredith ruminates that this graduation is “seventy-two hours of good behavior.” To some degree, we’re all on our best behavior during big family celebrations, but things do get a bit out of hand for some of these characters. Do you think that the characters in the novel are trying too hard to behave well in front of one another, and as a result are lying about who they are and the state of their lives? Why is the facade so important for them to maintain? Or do you think this level of subterfuge is common at family gatherings like this? And if so, why do we feel the need to pretend around the people who are supposed to love us the most?

  Throughout the story, Lily works tirelessly to put together the perfect graduation party for Dawn and Cody. Who is she trying to impress? What is she hoping to gain? And why does it matter so much to her? How does this change over the course of the novel?

  Meredith tells herself that the reason her marriage with Roger didn’t work out was because “Roger simply wasn’t cut out to be committed to another human being, much less to a family.” But when he marries Lily, Meredith is forced to acknowledge that this isn’t true. How do you think Roger’s marriage to Lily has changed the way Meredith views her own marriage to Roger, both the good parts and the bad? How do you think her perceptions change as the novel progresses? How does it affect Meredith’s relationship with Lily?

  Throughout the book, the past and present collide time and time again. For example, Joel runs into Kat, his college girlfriend, and wonders if he’s been remembering things differently than how they actually happened, and Meredith is forced into close proximity with Roger, inevitably bringing memories to the surface. As a result, these characters are forced to reexamine themselves through the lens of time, and what they discover surprises them. Have you had any similar such experiences?

  How would you characterize Roger’s relationship with Dawn and Cody? Do you think the divorce colored their memories of him, if at all? And do you think their relationship will be different after graduation weekend ends?

  Meredith and Lily are both extraordinarily different women and both fell in love with and married Roger. What do you think attracted them both to Roger in the beginning? How are their marriages to Roger similar—and different? Did Lily’s revelation at the end surprise you? Why or why not?

  Meredith thinks of Cody as “the easy child, the one who lends himself to bragging rights... Steady and stable, he reminds [Meredith] a little of herself when she was a kid.” But Cody is the one who almost doesn’t graduate and lands in real, serious trouble. And Meredith thinks of Dawn as someone who can “fly into a rage over nothing at all and the next minute burst into tears, which has the disconcerting effect of Meredith’s never quite knowing what Dawn is thinking. Come to think of it, her mercurial mood swings are not so unlike her father’s.” Do you think parents naturally gravitate toward the child who’s most like them? Why or why not? Has that been the case in your family? Do you think this dynamic will change in the Parker/Landau family after graduation weekend?

  This graduation is Lily’s first big family event and she takes the responsibility to heart. So much so that it almost kills her. After the shocking events of the family party take place, do you think the family sees her differently? And what do you think happens to Lily afterward? Does she stay married to Roger? Why or why not?

  The heart of this story is coming to terms with the past, accepting your family for who they are and strengthening family ties. How does each character in the Parker/Landau family accomplish this? Which character did you feel closest to and why? Which character was the most unlike you? Did anyone surprise you at the end?

  A Conversation with the Author

  Meredith and Lily are extraordinarily different women—both successful and driven in their own way with big hearts. Which character did you relate to the most? Did your loyalties change as the story progressed?

  Initially, I identified most with Meredith, who so desperately wants everything to go right for her kids and who can’t imagine letting them go after graduation. Add to that the general stress of the weekend and having to deal with her ex-husband and his new wife, and all I wanted was for Meredith to survive the weekend with her dignity intact. But the more I got to know Lily (and fleshed out her past), the more I began to cheer for her, too. As the old adage goes, everyone is dealing with something, so be kind. Meredith tries to be kind, but she’s not always successful. By the end of the book, I was rooting for both women. They may never be best friends, but at least I hope they have a better understanding of each other.

  Throughout the course of the book, we hear from Meredith’s, Joel’s, Lily’s, Dawn’s and Cody’s perspectives, but never Roger’s. Why didn’t you include Roger’s perspective?

  Well, to be honest, Roger always seemed a bit full of himself, so on some level I was probably wary of entering his mind. What if I didn’t like what I found there? I do hope, though, that he becomes more appealing by the story’s end, when we see that he truly cares for Lily and harbors some regrets about his bad behavior toward Meredith. Like everyone else in the book, Roger is vulnerable, but he’s loath to show it.

  When you began the story, did you know exactly how it would end? Were the characters’ journeys solidified in your mind before you started writing? Did anything surprise you as you were writing?

  I rarely know how a book will end before I begin—I wish I did! I have a vague sense of the plot, but for me, the characters and the setting always take precedence. I imagined all sorts of things going wrong over the course of the weekend but didn’t know exactly what. Carol, Meredith’s mother, surprised me in that she kept popping up, inserting herself into the story with an arch comment. Although she wasn’t in the original cast of characters, she made sure to whisper in my ear while I was writing. Also, Lily’s “issue” was always in the back of my mind because I think it’s such an important, timely topic that we all need to be talking about. Colum McCann, author of the phenomenal Let the Great World Spin, once likened the process of writing to playing music—the idea being that you have to let the music take you where it may, which strikes me as a lovely and apt metaphor.

  How has writing this book been different from writing your three previous novels?

  I wish I could say that each novel gets easier, but I’d be lying. Every time, you have to stare down a blank page and begin anew with an entirely fresh cast of characters. I have noticed that I seem to be inadvertently
truncating the time frame for each new book. My first novel, Three Good Things, took place over the course of several months; my second, The Summer of Good Intentions, over a summer; and my third, The Summer Sail, over one week. This book is set over a long weekend, so it presented new challenges in terms of packing a lot into a very short time period. Who knows, maybe the next novel will occur all in one day.

  As the story progresses, the reader gets an inside perspective into three very different marriages in this book: Meredith and Roger’s, Meredith and Joel’s, and, of course, Lily and Roger’s. Which relationship was the most fun for you to write about? Did that surprise you? Was there anyone you were rooting for—or not rooting for? And where do you see Roger and Lily in five years?

  Meredith and Roger’s relationship is bittersweet. There’s still a kernel of love there, I think, but even after all these years, the wounds Roger inflicted haven’t fully healed for Meredith or the kids. Meredith and Joel are probably my favorite couple and were the most fun to write. I love that Joel remains unflappable and amiable, especially given the circumstances, and I’m thrilled that Meredith finally found a good man. As for Roger and Lily, their relationship is more complicated, more ambiguous. Lily has a great deal to sift through before she even begins to tackle her growing sense of isolation in her marriage. It would be nice if they could stay together, but I suspect Roger and Lily have a long road ahead of them.

  Best Behavior beautifully tells the story of a dysfunctional blended family who love one another but are just trying to get through graduation weekend. What inspired the story? And why did you choose graduation weekend as the event that brought the Parkers and the Landaus together?

  I wanted to explore the dynamics of a “modern family” up close, and a college graduation weekend seemed like the perfect pressure cooker to do it in. A lot of my friends also have “emptying nests,” so college graduation—and all its attendant emotions—has been on my mind. And although my eleven-year-old is still very much at home, my two step-kids (not twins!) will be graduating college soon, reminding me that the question of “What’s next?” isn’t far away for any of us.