Love and the Library

by Lauren Connolly

  This is falling. Movies and TV and books throw that word around to describe how people careen into deep emotions, and I’ve only ever held a vague understanding. Like how I know, in an abstract sort of way, what it’s supposed to be like in outer space. The sensation has been described to me, and I’ve watched videos of astronauts floating around. But I don’t really know.

  My ex-nemesis uses the addictive nature of his hands and lips and skin, paired with his soul-searching gaze, to reveal what was a mystery to me before.

  The realization terrifies me, spiking my adrenaline and pushing me into a gravity-defying orgasm. As I plummet and float, unmoored, Nathan grips me close, acting as my tether.

  Then, someone knocks on the door.

  16

  NATHAN

  “Occupied!” I grunt the word out, ready to murder whoever is on the other side of the door.

  Right now? They had to interrupt right now?

  This was supposed to be my chance to watch Hannah fall to pieces in my arms. Instead, I have to whip my head around and make sure she remembered to latch the lock on the door.

  She didn’t.

  “Sorry, sir! Just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing. Everything fitting okay?” The guy’s voice is cheery and apologetic, some store employee looking to help the one customer in his section.

  When I return my gaze to the sexy package in my arms, it’s clear that panic is quickly forcing away any of the desire she was just experiencing.

  Can’t have that.

  “Yeah. It’s a”—I shift inside her until I sit as deep as I can go—“perfect fit.”

  Hannah’s eyelids flutter like epileptic butterflies, and her mouth circles into a lovely O shape.

  Got her back.

  “Good to hear. Well, my name is Michael. Just give me a holler if you need anything.”

  “Will do!”

  Not likely, fucker.

  The whole place is carpeted, muffling all footsteps, so I can’t be sure if he hangs around or walks back out into the store.

  Good thing my girl is quiet.

  I lean down to run my tongue around the cute curve of her ear before whispering, “You ready for round two?” I raise my head enough to watch her eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up close to her hairline.

  Keep going? Poor girl is too nervous to speak out loud, instead mouthing the words like we’re in a silent movie.

  Pressing my lips to the soft skin where her jaw meets her neck, I kiss and lick, and then I quietly answer, “I can make you come again. And I wouldn’t mind getting off either. Been fantasizing about finishing inside you.”

  I’m so close to her that I can observe each individual hair rise as goose bumps scatter over her golden skin. The only response I get is a jerky nod and the quicker rise and fall of her chest.

  Thank fuck.

  Other than her underwear, I haven’t taken any other pieces of clothing off Hannah. Her bunched-up skirt hides where our bodies are fused together. This means, it’s all about the feel. The tight, slick grip of her around me. The way her plump ass puckers under my grasping fingers.

  Wanting to push harder, delve deeper, I release one of her cheeks and brace my forearm on the wall above her head. Now, I can press myself flush against her. I admire the firm swells of her breasts smashed against my chest and the quick, panting breaths that send bursts of heat over my neck. I find I can bring them out of her with each rock of my hips.

  Hannah wasn’t lying when she claimed to be quiet, but anyone with eyes in their head and nerve endings under their skin could easily discern the way arousal fills this woman to the brim. Every spark of pleasure is present in the quiver of her lashes and flare of her nostrils. No doubt her strong fingers are bruising my skin from clutching me close during her orgasm. I can’t wait to admire the marks she left on me and make her cover me in more.

  Then, there’s the scent of her. As her skin grows hot, it turns into an oven with a pear pie baking inside. Warm and sweet, flooding my mouth with saliva I need to swallow so I can go back to licking her.

  Each thrust into her welcoming pussy is sedate yet frantic, the erotic sensation burning through me like slow-moving lava.

  The pace might be torturous, but it’s getting us there all the same.

  When she reaches down to cup my bare ass, her fingers turning into claws of need, I know she’s ready. I lean back enough to admire the ecstasy on her face, all the while making sure my pelvis grinds into her clit.

  Then, the walls of her grip me tight, clenching and pulsing as her cheeks flush ruddy.

  The extra pressure has me at the edge. I bury my face in her neck, inhaling a deep lungful of her delicious aroma. Bringing her down hard on my dick, I forever entwine the scent of candied pears with spilling hot waves into my girl.

  Mine.

  I have to bite into her shoulder to muffle my groan.

  We stay there—me naked, pinning her against the dressing room wall, with her strong legs locked around my waist—for maybe minutes, maybe hours. All I know is, I don’t want to let her slide off my body. I never want her to move away from me. Not in this room, not in a few weeks when the semester comes to an end.

  I don’t think I’ll recover. Hannah is a magnet, and I’m a compass. One moment, I was pointing north. Now, I’m just directed at her. Only problem is, I know distance won’t change that.

  She’s my new north.

  A shiver skitters through her compact body, and when I lift my head from where I settled it on her shoulder, I realize the lustful heat has drained from her skin.

  Even with it gone, she still wears a lopsided smile with her eyes settled half-open.

  Reluctantly, I pull myself back far enough to let her gain her own footing. The short black skirt falls around her thighs, a flimsy curtain covering perfection.

  For a moment, she glances around the room, as if searching for something, before giving me back her gaze.

  “Where’s my underwear?” As she whispers the question, the first words she’s uttered since we started fooling around, Hannah places a hot hand on the side of my rib cage to steady herself as she rises onto her tiptoes, attempting to lean in close to my ear.

  It’s enough to make me want to scoop her up again and try for another round. Unfortunately, I don’t have that quick of a recovery time.

  I reach down to slide the used condom off my uncooperative dick as I answer, “I’ve got them. Safe and sound.”

  She rocks back on her heels, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head at me. “Those aren’t yours to keep.” Her hushed chastising just makes me grin.

  I tie off the condom and search for somewhere to dispose of it. Even though I talked about this kind of hook-up in the past and was the one to initiate things, I didn’t really think it through.

  I just wanted her so bad that I couldn’t imagine leaving this room without making a pass.

  And she went for it. My little exhibitionist.

  “Give me that.” Shorty reaches toward me.

  “I’m naked. I swear I’m not hiding your panties on me.”

  “No. The condom. Here.” She bends over, grabs her soda cup, and pops the lid off before offering it as a makeshift receptacle.

  “Look at that.” I drop in the evidence of our sneaky liaison. “Teamwork!”

  “Keep your voice down!” she whisper-yells at me, even as a grin threatens at the corner of her mouth.

  “Why? I’m supposed to be in here. You’re the rule-breaker.” I have to dodge fast as she tries to pinch my side, chuckling and batting her hand away.

  “And what kind of friend would you be if you gave me up? Now, get dressed while I toss this. You still need to try on that smaller size.” Hannah cracks the door open to peer out and apparently finds the coast clear because she makes her escape without a backward glance.

  Which might have been better because most of my giddiness evaporated at her use of that one word.

  Friend.

  Not that being her friend i
s a bad thing. It’s just not the only thing I want to be. Friends come and go in your life. It stings a bit to leave them behind, but you get over it.

  I don’t know how to hold on to her.

  What can I do to make her stay?

  Because right now, she might as well be a handful of sand slipping through my grasping fingers.

  17

  HANNAH

  “You’re cheating.”

  I grin smugly to myself, seeing as how Nathan can’t see me. “You were the one who wanted to sit like this.”

  “Yeah. Sit. You, madam, are not sitting. You’re squirming. And very suggestively, too, I might add.”

  A snicker leaks out, even as I bite down on my lips to try to keep it contained.

  We’re on the floor of Nathan’s dorm. He’s got his back propped up against the couch, and I’m tucked in between his legs. This means he has to wrap both his arms around me and hold the gaming controller in front of the two of us. For him, the position has to be kind of awkward.

  But as I said, it was his suggestion.

  “I think you just can’t handle that I’m getting better at this than you.”

  Friday nights no longer consist of me reading alone in the library. Now, they’re all about hot chocolate and Mario Kart. And sex. Which tends to happen first because the second we’re alone together and near a bed, Nathan starts kissing me like he’s drowning and I’m an oxygen tank.

  But it’s not just Fridays; barely a day in these past two weeks has gone by without us at least meeting up for a quick coffee on campus. Not surprisingly, Lucifer always offers to order them.

  I should be happy. I should be content.

  Instead, whenever one of those emotions threatens to put me at ease, I shrink away from it. If I try to pretend like this silly, easy relationship will last forever, then I’ll be putting myself at risk for a massive heartbreak. There are no guarantees, and I can’t make a decision about my future happiness just because this guy gives me flutters in my chest.

  Three of the universities in New York that I’d applied to sent me acceptance letters. I haven’t told Nathan. I also haven’t replied to the schools.

  But it’s the end of the week, and I still have two more to go before the end of the semester. No need to get depressed about it all right now. Might as well enjoy the time I have left with him before I put on my big-girl panties and make the mature decision.

  “You’ve improved a little bit. But you still have a long way to go, young grasshopper.” He lets go of the controller to reach under my T-shirt. The light touch tickles, and I writhe in his lap, giggling and protesting but to no avail.

  We’re wrapped up together, laughing and play fighting, when the front door bursts open, and Nathan’s roommate stumbles in with his girl of the night.

  Bobby scored well.

  The Amazon towers in her heeled sandals, each step causing her hip-length russet hair to sway around her pale, freckled shoulders. I admire the cupid curve of her mouth and how she expertly applied her eyeliner—a skill my unsteady hand has yet to master.

  Much of my playful giddiness deflates. Neither Nathan nor I enjoy hanging around and listening to Bobby’s rousing sexual exploits. Guess it’s time for me to head home.

  “Oh. Hey, guys. This is—”

  We don’t get to find out if Bobby remembered this one’s name tonight because she cuts him off, “Your shirt! Oh my God! I love it.” The mystery girl shoves away from Nathan’s shocked roommate to crouch in front of me. Pinching the bottom of my T-shirt, she pulls it taut. “My guardian angel wears a trench coat. That is so great! You’re a Supernatural fan?”

  I’m impressed. Not many people pick up on my T-shirt’s reference to one of the main characters from my favorite TV show.

  “Supernatural?” Nathan’s curiosity is obvious. “That have a pentagram-sun symbol?”

  “Duh. The anti-possession tattoo. You watch it?” The stranger clutches her hands under her chin, looking like a child who’s stumbled across a puppy.

  “He doesn’t.” I give Nathan a gentle elbow. “But I think I’ve rewatched the whole series, like, five times.”

  “Five times?” The Amazon scoffs. “Girl, you need to catch up! You should join the Supernatural Club.”

  “That exists?”

  She has to be kidding. If there were a Supernatural Club, I totally would’ve spotted it on the university’s website.

  “Well, not officially. We don’t need faculty advisers telling us how to binge-watch the fight against evil while consuming massive amounts of junk food.” She holds out her hand. “I’m Scarlet.”

  “Hannah.” I return her shake, experiencing a pleasant tingle when our fingers clasp.

  “Come on, babe,” Bobby practically whines, his body leaning toward his bedroom.

  “For Pete’s sake, just give me a second. Can’t you see I’m making a new friend?” Scarlet leans in close to mutter, “Guy can’t even wait a few minutes for high-quality pussy.”

  Behind me, Nathan chokes on a laugh, and my cheeks turn cherry-red hot.

  “Do you like rock climbing?” Her question comes out of nowhere, the wild tracks of her mind harder to stay on course than Rainbow Road.

  “Um, I don’t know. Never tried it.”

  Clearly not afraid of personal space, Scarlet grasps one of my biceps, giving a light squeeze, and then clasps my hand again to trace the pads of her fingers over my palms. “You got some muscle, girl. And calluses. You lift weights?”

  “A few times a week.”

  “Well, a little upper-body strength is all it takes. You should come to the rock wall in the gym tomorrow around two. My roommate, Callie, and I’ll be there. We can show you how. And quiz you on your knowledge of Sam and Dean Winchester—aka the hottest men on television.”

  Her grin is almost manic but in a familiar way. It’s the expression that arises from the joy of discovering someone else who shares your fandom. My face is probably forming into something similar.

  And because I get a kindred sense from Scarlet, I take a risk, praying I’m not shooting myself in the foot. “I’m actually more of a Castiel fan.” I name one of the other characters from the show, an angel with floppy, dark hair and soulful eyes.

  Scarlet glances at Nathan, likely picking up some of the subtle resemblance between him and my fictional crush. Her grin adopts a knowing edge that shoots up the heat factor in my face a couple more degrees.

  “I’m sure you do. Well”—she abruptly stands, towering above the two of us in her massive heels—“you’re still invited. Two p.m. Rock wall. Be there, ass-butt.”

  Nathan stiffens against my back, obviously offended for me. I, on the other hand, am surprised into a delighted chuckle, easily picking up on her Supernatural reference.

  Before I can respond, Scarlet saunters down the hall, leaving Bobby to trail in her wake.

  When they’re gone, Nathan uses his thumb to turn my head to the side, where he can meet my eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t know you were going to get ambushed.”

  “Don’t be sorry! She’s awesome! Supernatural club …”

  My mind skips over all the possibilities. Long discussions about the show. Themed snacks. Friends to share references with.

  Sounds like heaven.

  “So, you’re going tomorrow?” he asks.

  “To rock climbing? No doubt. Have you tried it? Is it hard?”

  “I haven’t. But we both know you’re pretty amazing at climbing things.” Lucifer’s grin turns wicked right before he leans down to press a warm kiss to my lips.

  18

  HANNAH

  “You’re a natural!” Callie holds up her plastic dining hall cup to toast me.

  I grin at Scarlet’s roommate, trying not to preen under the compliment.

  If I’d had any worries about intruding on their climbing time, that was immediately squashed when I showed up at the wall. Scarlet cheered at the sight of me, and Callie gifted me with a smile while she clasped the hand of a l
anky blond guy. I was quickly introduced to both her and Walter, an employee at the rock wall, who’s also Callie’s boyfriend.

  Since I joined them, their numbers were finally even.

  “She’s right. I don’t think I was brave enough to go all the way to the top my first time around. You’ve got some steel ovaries.” Scarlet taps the back of her hand against my stomach. Little joyful-friendship sparks scatter through my body at the contact.

  “You have to join our bouldering team next semester. Our fourth bailed at the last minute, and even though Scarlet, Walter, and I kicked ass, we didn’t have a high enough combined score to take home the win.”

  Black curls escape a tight knot at the top of Callie’s head, and Walter absentmindedly fiddles with them as he sits with his arm around her shoulders.

  My eyes catch on the movement, and a bit of longing tugs at my heart. Not because I’m interested in Walter. Only because I’m wondering where Nathan is and how much longer I’ll get the chance to experience his little gestures of affection.

  To keep my mind off those thoughts, I focus back on the conversation. “What’s bouldering?” All this foreign terminology has me feeling like I’m learning a new language.

  “It’s where you climb without ropes. But only to a certain height. Not all the way up the wall,” Scarlet speaks as if only half her mind is on the conversation. She stands up from her chair, scanning the crowd of students who are milling around the dining hall, carrying plates piled with pizza and fries.

  “And they tape off certain routes. So, you have to use the same holds as your competitors to get to the same place,” Callie chimes in.

  “Sounds like fun.”

  Today’s excursion, paired with the possibility of more in the future, has my blood pumping with excitement. This must be what Nathan experiences when he shows up at the preschool to help those kids out.

  “What’re you doing tonight, Hannah? FYI, the right answer is, hanging with your two new friends and watching Supernatural.” Scarlet is still focused elsewhere, even as she gestures between herself and Callie. Seems she’s mastered the elusive ability of multitasking.