Love and the Library

by Lauren Connolly

  It’s silly, but her offer makes me want to cry.

  Happy cry.

  Friendship often seems like a simple thing, but when you go for a long stretch without it and then someone starts to incorporate themselves into your life, the joy of the connection is indescribable.

  “Yes. Definitely.”

  “Am I invited?” Walter hooks his foot around Callie’s chair, sliding her closer until she’s almost in his lap.

  “Oh, sweetie. I love you, but no. No boys allowed. I can’t have you stifling me as I lust after a fictional man.” She kisses both his cheeks as he rolls his eyes.

  The exchange, while adorable, is also extremely comforting. Alexis would never choose to hang out with me over spending time with her boyfriend. It’s one of the reasons we barely talk other than a passing hello when we’re both in the apartment. That Callie is willing to make time for other people gives me hope that this could turn into a real friendship.

  “Hey! Hey you!” Scarlet yells, making me jump.

  Callie and Walter don’t even flinch, so I guess they’re used to her shouting randomly.

  A whole mob of heads turns our way, but Scarlet gives them all a frustrated I’m not talking to you wave.

  “You! Hannah’s boy toy!”

  Oh shit. My face explodes in a heated blush when I realize the person Scarlet is shouting at is none other than Nathan Cooper.

  He stares at Scarlet from his spot in line, confusion dipping his brows until his eyes trip over to me. Then, a wide grin splits his face, and he lifts a hand in a wave.

  I’m barely able to manage one in return, mortified at the amount of people staring at our group.

  “Yeah, we’re over here! Come sit with us when you have your food!” Scarlet waits until he gives her a thumbs-up, and then she settles back into her chair and picks up her fork with a satisfied smile. “So, since Hannah is joining us for the first time, we have to start with season one,” the redhead talks as if she didn’t just announce to the entire dining hall that Nathan is my human plaything.

  And I think I’m realizing that this is something I’ll need to get used to with Scarlet as my friend.

  Embarrassing but worth it.

  Also, when Nathan approaches our group, grin still in place, I find myself grateful for her high-handed ways.

  He leans down to whisper, “Hey, Shorty,” in my ear before settling in the chair beside me. “How was climbing?” This he says louder, offering the question to the table.

  “Great. Hannah is now officially on our bouldering team. This is Callie and Walter,” Scarlet explains, and the couple smiles at Nathan. “And this is …” She lets the sentence trail off, and I realize she didn’t call him my boy toy for no reason.

  “Nathan,” I say.

  “Hannah’s boyfriend,” Nathan adds.

  And once again, I’m blushing.

  “Good to meet you. I’ve been needing backup.” Walter salutes Nathan from his spot across the table.

  “Oh, hush. Callie and I let you win almost five percent of the arguments we have. Stop being so dramatic.” Scarlet glares, her arms crossed.

  “I’m dramatic?”

  Walter and Scarlet proceed to bicker in a good-natured way as Callie laughs and throws out comments every so often. Not to calm them down, but instead to keep them going.

  I lean back in my chair, glancing to the corner of the room. There’s a small table by the window that gets decent light. It’s the table I always eat at, sitting alone, reading my book. I don’t hate that table, and I don’t even hate the idea of eating alone. I’m sure I’ll do it plenty in the future.

  It’s only that today, finally, I have a choice. I have a group.

  I have friends.

  Under this table, a warm hand snakes into my lap. Nathan’s gaze stays focused on the verbal volleys being batted around across from us, but from the way our fingers tangle together, I know at least part of his attention is on me.

  He leans over, pressing his lips to my ear again. “I like them. Let’s keep them.”

  My cheeks ache as a smile dominates my face.

  This whole situation brings on a wave of giddy joy so strong that I want to kick myself.

  Why did I give up so easily on making friends?

  Okay, so I had a few duds. But it was stupid of me to let myself think there weren’t any great people just waiting to be found.

  Who knows how much earlier I would have met Scarlet, Callie, and Walter if I had just put myself out there?

  How many more potential friends are on this campus right now?

  All I need to do is challenge myself once in a while, and I might find a few.

  Maybe staying in Virginia wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe I wouldn’t be all alone if a certain devilish chair thief ever decided to break my heart.

  As I glance to my side and meet his laughing eyes, my doubts about us begin to fade away, too.

  NATHAN

  We didn’t have any plans last night, so it’s not like Hannah technically ditched me to hang out with her new friends, but I get panicky when I think of all the minutes I’ve lost with her. Those minutes are limited because she hasn’t decided to stay.

  Today’s mission: change Hannah Small’s mind.

  I smirk to myself when I think of her last name. Can’t believe she was able to hide that from me for so long even though I completely understand why she might have thought I’d use it against her. She’s a treasure trove of secrets I want the chance to explore.

  When I round the red brick corner of the dorm building, I catch sight of Hannah. She’s perched on the half-wall where I first got to taste her caramel-sweet lips. There’s never going to be a time I’ll walk past this spot and not have that memory. If she leaves me, there’s still going to be phantoms of her all over campus. Whenever I study in the library, grab a cup of coffee, or sit on the couch in my dorm room, she’s going to be there, smiling through a scowl and slipping her pear-scented hair behind the cute curve of her ear. Sleeping in my bed will be torture after having her poised over top of me, biting her lip in ecstasy, the salty taste of her on my fingers.

  My plan has to work. I need her to stay with me.

  Today, she’s got on her trademark shorts with a tank top tucked into their high waist. As I approach, the words on her shirt become legible, and my worries temporarily get pushed to the side at the goofy message.

  “Science: it’s like magic but real,” I read aloud, enjoying the way her head pops up in momentary surprise before a pleased grin creases her round cheeks.

  “You got it. I’m basically in wizard training right now. Although I’m not sure having a bachelor’s in witchcraft is what employers are looking for on résumés.” She hops down from the wall and skips over to me, her flip-flops making loud snapping noises as they smack the bottom of her feet.

  Hannah doesn’t wait for me to bend down to her level, instead choosing to grab a handful of my shirt and dragging me downward into the paradise of her kiss. Her eager mouth doesn’t care that we’re in public, nor does her wicked tongue as she teases me with it. By the time she releases her hold, I’m practically cross-eyed and panting, wondering where the closest semi-private area is that I can sneak her into.

  But my brain hits the restart button and reminds me I have a mission to complete.

  Convince Hannah to stay.

  Then, we can christen the dorm building stairwell.

  “Your distraction tactics, while impressive, won’t work, Shorty.” I do my best to glare down at her grinning face, which shows not an ounce of remorse.

  “Oh, really? I’ll just have to try harder next time.” She links her hands behind her back and rocks up on her toes. “So, what’s the plan today? What’s this big surprise?”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have hyped it up so much, but I’ve been scrambling for something to get her to stick around. To take a chance on me.

  “I can’t just give it away. You’ll have to blindly follow me.”

  “Sounds
dangerous.” Hannah hooks her arm around my elbow. “I’m down.”

  Please let this work.

  As we stroll through campus, the two of us linked together, the shadow of dissatisfaction lingering in the back of my mind—which I’ve never wanted to admit exists—dissipates. Listening to Hannah recount her girls’ night might as well be a practice in meditation because all the muscles in my body ease. My mind hovers in a happy fog of contentment.

  She’s my girl. I’m part of a pair. It’s her and me, no longer against each other, but moving in tandem.

  Does she feel it too?

  “You’re taking me for pie? I love this surprise.” Hannah hugs my arm against her chest as we cross the street to pull open the front door of Slice ’Em Up.

  A tiny golden bell rattles, announcing our entrance. My date’s perfume mingles with the other syrupy fruit dessert scents, making this visit almost an erotic experience.

  “I am taking you for pie, but that’s not the surprise.”

  The shop isn’t too crowded. We’ve arrived before the post-lunch rush. Shorty and I pretty much have the place to ourselves, so I pull her to a stop before we reach the counter. Her rubber soles squeak on the blue-and-white-tiled floor.

  “You’ve been feeling like you don’t belong here, right? That’s why you want to leave?”

  As we stand, facing each other, I hold both of her hands in mine, and she playfully swings them, rocking each like two hammocks in the wind.

  Hannah’s mouth opens as if she’s about to answer me, and then she closes it. She starts again, curiosity clear in the way her eyebrows crease. “Yeah … basically.”

  “Well, I have definitive proof that you do belong here. Come take a look.” I beat away all the doubts about my idea and just decide to go for it. There’s no room for hesitation or second-guessing if I’m going to get Hannah to stay.

  Slice ’Em Up reveals their delicious options by putting them inside a large glass display case. Silver stands hold all manner of pies—apple, cherry, key lime, chocolate, banana. I could go on for a while.

  Halfway down the middle row, in the exact center, I spot the caramel pear. Or at least, that used to be how they referred to it. Today, the paper label has another name in swirly script.

  The Hannah Smalls.

  “That’s my name. In front of that pie.” Her voice comes out robotic as her fingers press against the glass.

  “Yep.” I’m trying not to take her lack of reaction as any kind of sign. “And it’s not just for today. That’s forever. Until the end of time, that is officially The Hannah Smalls. Now, you tell me, would someone who doesn’t belong here have a pie named after her?”

  The owner of the shop, Maggie, who I got to know really well yesterday, pretends to read a receipt up at the register, but I catch her watching us out of the corner of her eye. She’s almost as emotionally invested in Hannah’s reaction as I am at this point.

  “What? How? I’m pie? I’m a pie?” There’s a hint of something in her voice. Maybe something good.

  “You’re a pie.”

  At my confirmation, Hannah finally stops staring through the glass and instead gazes up at me. “How’d you do it?”

  Knowing she’s still within hearing distance, I throw my thumb over my shoulder to point at the shop owner. “You see, Maggie and I know each other. Her son, Oliver, is in Kid Kare. I might have promised her a few free nights of babysitting in exchange for this little favor.”

  The woman bustles over to us, beaming. “Well, it’s not like I took much convincing. You’re Oliver’s favorite. Besides, I’m a sucker for a grand, romantic gesture.” Maggie reaches into the case and slides a hearty slice of The Hannah Smalls onto a plate, setting it on the counter for us. “And did he tell you the best part?”

  Mute, Hannah shakes her head.

  “He’s covered all your future Hannah Smalls slices. You never have to pay for a piece of yourself again!” The grinning woman claps her hands together.

  I’ve only spared half my attention for the shop owner. Sweat beads under my collar as I wait for some kind of reaction from Shorty. Maybe a thank you? Or a chuckle? Even a small smile would work.

  Instead, I get shouted at.

  “You made me a pie!” Shorty wrenches her hands from mine and then proceeds to launch herself into the air in order to wrap her arms around my neck. “I love pie!”

  I catch her, holding her against my chest as she slings her legs around my waist and peppers my face with kisses. The embrace radiates with joy, and most of my unease evaporates.

  But I still need one questioned answered.

  “So … since you’re a pie … will you consider staying?”

  Other ideas, ways to convince her Virginia and I deserve a second chance, begin to form in my mind.

  “I’ll stay.”

  My thoughts stutter to a halt for a moment. As I try to come to terms with getting my way, Maggie applauds in the background, and Hannah laughs in my arms.

  “Really? You’ll come back next semester?”

  She nods, and the tension in my chest evaporates.

  “Now, put me down, so I can eat a slice of me!” She practically bounces when I set her on her feet. “I bet I’m delicious.”

  Hannah gives Maggie a thank-you before picking up her piece of pie, grabbing two forks, and settling down at a table.

  I follow along behind her, pulling the second chair around so I can sit with my thigh pressed against hers, my arm resting behind her back.

  Then, I lean in close enough to smell the pear scent that is all Hannah and brush her long black hair behind her ear, so I can whisper to her, “I look forward to having a taste of you every single day.”

  Her dark eyes glitter with mischief as she grins and holds a forkful of pie to my mouth. “Bite me.”

  19

  HANNAH

  “Where are you going? We still have three more chapters!” Carl’s eyes are full of panic as I stand up from the table.

  “Keep your shorts on. I’ll be right back.” I do my best to smile reassuringly and leave most of my stuff with him, so he knows I’m not trying to bail in the middle of our study session.

  Carl doesn’t seem to realize how happy he made me when he asked me to be study buddies for our Chemistry final.

  I don’t know if Nathan was right about my classmate having a crush on me, but I do know I’ve added another friend to my slowly increasing social group.

  No way am I abandoning him. However, I just saw a tall, rumpled, handsome education major stroll through the library’s lobby, and I have some news he needs to hear.

  The paper in my hand crumples slightly as I grip it. Even though I get the urge to sprint after him, knowing he’s going to reach The Chair before I do, I keep to a sedate pace. Doesn’t matter if I get there before him when I promised Carl I’m coming back.

  When I round the corner, Nathan is just lowering himself into the cushy leather. His eyes skim over the room and crease at the corners with his smile when he spots me. That mischievous smile turns into a smirk, and he waves a finger at me.

  “Not this time, Shorty. I beat you here, fair and square.”

  I let him revel in his triumph for only a moment as I skip up to his side. “Look how quickly you forget. Trying to weasel your way out of a promise?”

  His lips drop to a frown as his eyes remain curious. “What promise might that be?”

  “I seem to remember a certain Friday night where I was completely happy, reading in this very chair, when you rudely interrupted me.” I perch on the armrest, wearing a smirk of my own. “Now, my tricky Lucifer”—I comb my fingers through his messy hair, affectionately toying with him as he tries to appear grumpy—“do you recall how you got me to abandon my seat?”

  He grumbles a word that sounds a lot like yes and then reaches to pick up his bag, ready to shift his ass out of my rightful throne.

  The pout on his lips is too cute. Before he can stand up, I bend over to steal a kiss. Only, normal
ly, when you steal something, the goal is to get in and get out fast. But I can’t seem to retreat. Instead, I linger, leaving myself vulnerable to his grabbing hands. Nathan drags me off my perch and into his arms. For some time, we sit, wrapped up together, our mouths exploring one another.

  It takes me a moment to wade through my lust fog, mainly because Nathan is kissing me like I’m hanging off a ledge and his lips are all that’s keeping me from plunging to my death. That desperate passion is what reminds me of the paper in my hand.

  He doesn’t seem ready to give up anytime soon. Reluctantly, I pull back and cover my mouth with my hand before he can dive back in and lull my mind into distraction.

  “Pause!”

  Nathan gazes, unfocused, at my hand before dragging his eyes up to me. “Pause?”

  “Yes. Pause. I need you to hold off on kissing me and read this.” I shove the paper in between us.

  He slides it from my grasp and peers down at the typed words. After a moment, Nathan skips his stare up to me, one eyebrow curved up in question. “It’s a class schedule.”

  “Yep.” I lean forward to see the text and point out the name on the top of the sheet. “It’s my class schedule. For next semester.”

  Nathan doesn’t respond right away. We sit quietly—him engrossed in the paper and me locked on him.

  His silence makes me itchy.

  Maybe I misjudged Nathan’s feelings. Maybe the pie was just a silly joke rather than a grand, romantic declaration. Maybe the heartbreak is going to happen sooner than I thought.

  “You’re gonna lose on Wednesdays.”

  “Huh?”

  When Lucifer raises his head, his face almost splits in half from the jaw-cracking grin he’s wearing.

  “Your Wednesday class. It ends a half an hour after mine. Better say good-bye to The Spot because this sucker is mine.” Nathan cackles evilly, and I laugh along with him while pretending to shove him.

  “Dream on, Lucifer. I’ll use every weapon in my arsenal to defeat you.”

  He tosses the paper to the side and catches my hands against his chest. “I might be convinced to give it up. But you’ll have to be really nice to me.”