Black Matter

by G D Parker

  He opened the door slowly and turned on the hallway light. The door to his left led into the bedroom and he peered in. No one was in there and the place was strangely how he had left it. He expected it to be trashed, as it had happened so many times before.

  Tommy slowly moved down the corridor which opened into the lounge area. In the darkness laid a figure on the couch.

  ‘Babe,’ he said in a soft tone, ‘you ok?’

  Taylor stirred and opened her eyes. Tommy took a step back and turned on the lights. Taylor covered her face as the light burned her eyes and rubbed at them. Tommy could clearly see a blood-stained tea towel wrapped around her arm and hurried towards her.

  ‘What have you done to yourself, babe?’ He was angry but upset at the same time.

  ‘I thought I lost you forever, T. I’m sorry about everything, I really am. Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you.’ She burst into tears.

  Tommy wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her. She sobbed into his shoulder and he could feel her shaking dramatically.

  ‘My phone smashed too,’ she said, sobbing.

  ‘You mean you smashed it?’

  ‘Ok, I did, but I was so angry, T. Not with you, but with myself!’ she continued to cry.

  Tommy pulled away from her. ‘Let me see,’ he said, as he gently pulled her arm towards him to unwrap the towel. He then started to cry gently. ‘Babe, you are so silly.’ Luckily, it wasn’t a deep cut and more of a cry for help.

  ‘Look T, I need to tell you something,’ Taylor announced. ‘I need you to understand me. I need you to have an understanding of why I am the way I am with you, as we can’t carry on like this.’

  Tommy sat back. ‘Okay, I’m all ears, babe.’

  Tommy was confused. He had never seen her like this, and he knew something was up. He had a gut feeling that she had been with someone else and was thinking of the worst thing possible. However, he couldn’t have been any further from the truth.

  ‘Let me say what I have to say before you say anything back?’ Taylor said.

  ‘Of course, just tell me?’ He sat back, folding his arms ready to listen, looking at her in the eye, trying to second guess what she was about to say.

  Taylor went through her entire ordeal in detail about Mick and everything he had done to her. She finished, wrapped her arms around Tommy and sobbed.

  Tommy held her tight and cried with her. He closed his eyes and thought to himself, All this time, and the poor girl was suffering, keeping this from me. No boyfriend wants to hear that, but at least she has told me. He held her shoulders and looked her deep in the eyes.

  ‘Sweetheart, I understand why you kept this to yourself, and I now understand why you’ve been the way you have. I’m so sorry you had to go through that with him, I really am, and I’m so proud of you for opening up to me.’

  He found it hard to hold back and cried again, thinking about how terrified she must have been. He really did care about her and felt guilty for having armed himself for a breakup. Everything started to make sense to him now; why she had been so quiet and closed-off for the first few months of dating; why it had taken months before they had slept together; and why she behaved so erratically during arguments. The poor girl must have been on the back foot from the offset.

  Things felt more relaxed around the place for both of them. Taylor was a lot calmer and Tommy just fell in-love with her all over again. The arguments literally stopped the night she confided in him.

  Taylor’s mind was clear. She’d had some counselling, which helped her no end, and everything was as it should be.

  After another couple of weeks, things were better than ever for them both. Taylor gained a promotion at work running her own contract. It was only a small contract, but her career was definitely going in the right direction.

  Tommy was still doing well, keeping track of his health using his IPEA, and had signed himself up to compete in a bodybuilding competition in the “Beach Body” category. Taylor was very supportive, helped prepare all his meals and gave him the motivation he needed when he was feeling down and struggling with his intense training regime.

  It was a Saturday night and the pair decided it’d be nice to go out for a meal, especially as Tommy could have a “cheat meal” - a meal outside of his normal diet routine. The weather was now cold, so they wrapped up and made their way to the car. As they walked down the stairs in their block, their neighbour from the flat above was passing.

  ‘Hey,’ said Tommy with a nod, but the guy just kept walking.

  ‘Oi! You ignorant prick!’ Taylor shouted. She just couldn’t help herself.

  ‘Babe! Don’t!’ said Tommy, and he put his arm across her front.

  ‘No! He can’t just ignore you!’ She turned back to the neighbour. ‘Oi! Do you have a problem?’ her voice was raised and anger was pouring like venom from a snake.

  The neighbour then stopped on the stairs and slowly turned around, a magnified insincere smile stretched across the width of his face. It was clear this guy didn’t give a shit.

  ‘No problem, love.’ The neighbour’s lips barely moved as he spoke, and his voice was fairly high pitched for a thirty-something-year-old.

  ‘So, why did you ignore my boyfriend? He was only being friendly.’ Taylor was still angry, and she stared intensely into his eyes, which he reciprocated.

  ‘I did, did I?’ He raised his eyebrows, then stepped forward in his dirty white trainers that squeaked as he moved down a step. He had a long camo anorak on with the hood up. His eyes were deep. There was something not quite right.

  ‘Come on, let’s go!’ said Tommy, gently turning Taylor around and ushering her towards the bottom of the stairs and out the door. They never looked back, but if they had, they would have seen that the guy didn’t move until they were out of the building.

  ‘Fucking freak!’ said Taylor.

  ‘I know, he’s a strange one, so please just ignore him from now on. Don’t start kicking off, especially when I’m not around. Anyway, fuck him! Let’s have a nice night!’ said Tommy.

  They jumped into the car and made their way to The Bay to find a good place to eat. They decided to eat at a nice all-you-can eat Chinese restaurant. Tommy wanted to make the most of his cheat meal and was not going to hold back at all. He piled on the Chinese chicken curry, chips, duck wraps, chicken satay, bloody everything he could possibly get his hands on. He then moved onto the desert and just kept filling up.

  ‘You ok, babe?’ he said, sitting opposite Taylor. She had a sad look on her face.

  ‘Yeah, T. Sorry, was just thinking.’ She looked down at the table.

  ‘Come on, babe, spit it out.’ Tommy flicked some cream from a cake across the table that landed straight in her hair. She looked up and smiled at him.

  ‘Prick!’ she exclaimed in a jokey kind of way.

  ‘Come on, babe. Why do you look so sad?’

  ‘I’m not sad, T. I’m feeling overwhelmed.’ Taylor paused and took a breath. ‘Over the last few weeks since I told you about you-know-what, things have just been amazing. I’ve got this hot, sexy man who loves me more than anything in the world, my job is going great, I’m so happy, you make me happy.’ She smiled with a tear running down her left cheek and another running down her right side a little further behind.

  ‘That’s so lovely to hear, babe.’ Tommy leant forward and with both of his thumbs he gently brushed away her tears and then held her face. ‘I fucking love you so much!’

  Intense passion filled them both and they started to passionately kiss each other over the table, not caring about others trying to eat their meals. They pulled away from each other with a mischievous giggle and Taylor had to wipe a little saliva from her mouth.

  ‘I love you too,’ she replied, smiling from ear to ear.

  ‘Now, can I finish my dessert?’ Tommy said.

  ‘Crack on!’ She wiped the cream from her hair and threw it back at Tommy. They both giggled and laughed.

  The
y finished up their desserts, settled the bill and quickly walked to the car to get out of the cold winter evening. In the car they were both smiling, not saying a word, yet fully content and comfortable with the silence.

  When they got into their flat, Tommy felt all bloated and lethargic. He checked his IPEA on his phone. It showed that he had consumed over six thousand calories during the day and his sugar and insulin levels had increased. The app recommended that he should drink a litre of water over the next few hours and that he should fast for the next sixteen hours.

  He laid on the bed. His belly was painful, almost stretching and ready to burst.

  ‘Babe!’ he groaned. Taylor was in the kitchen.

  ‘Yeah, T?’ she shouted back.

  ‘Can you bring me a pint of water, please. I’m dying,’ he said, followed by a groan. ‘And... try not to throw it over me.’ This had now become a running joke.

  ‘Yeah!’

  ‘Make sure you run the tap until the water is cold, please. You know I’m funny about drinking tap water.’

  ‘Yeah, coming!’ Taylor shouted, as she walked through to the bedroom. ‘Here you go.’ She went to hand Tommy the glass, only to find that the cheeky sod had instantly fallen asleep.

  ‘Well... I’m not getting any tonight,’ Taylor huffed. She went into the bathroom, took off her makeup, brushed her teeth and climbed into bed next to her bloated, sweaty boyfriend. She kissed him on the cheek, turned off the light and closed her eyes with a fruitful smile on her face. ‘What a lovely evening,’ she whispered to herself – she had finally found that happiness... For now!

  3

  It was a cold, crisp winter’s morning with the sun gleefully shining through the blinds in the bedroom. Taylor smiled and turned to Tommy, instantly realising he wasn’t there. Thinking nothing of it, she climbed out of bed and put on her dressing gown to try and protect herself from the cold air in the room.

  She walked through the hallway into the lounge. Tommy wasn’t there either. She silently walked around the flat checking every room – there was nothing.

  ‘Where is he?’ she said out loud to herself. She went back into the bedroom and picked up her phone, pulled out the charger and checked - no messages. This did cause her a little concern, as this was out of character for Tommy. She decided to give him a call.

  ‘Yeah babe?’ he sounded breathless.

  ‘Where are you, T?’ Taylor asked, her voice low with concern.

  ‘Sorry, babe. I just nipped out for a brisk walk to try and do a little fasted cardio, especially after last night’s extravaganza. I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful.’

  Taylor breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Ok, T. Had me worried for a moment then. You could have at least left me a note or text?’ Her tone was calm. At least I know where he is now, she thought to herself.

  ‘I did, on the kettle. Thought that would have been the first place you went to, you coffee addict.’

  Taylor walked into the kitchen and there it was; a cute little scribble.

  “Sexy girl - I’ve gone for a walk - no need to worry. See you soon - love ya xxx”

  ‘So I see. Now get home, I miss you!’ She blew a kiss down the phone and hung up.

  Tommy got home about twenty minutes later and the first thing he did was check his IPEA, hoping to see that last night’s binge hadn’t had much of an effect on him – with regard to his body fat levels.

  The IPEA basically told Tommy that he had high sodium levels, he had twelve percent water retention and no gain in body fat. He was happy with this. Good to know you can’t get fat in a day, he thought to himself.

  After Tommy had finished reviewing the analysis of last night’s binge, he decided he was going to train in the gym today, as he felt full of carbs and energy. He walked into the lounge and gave Taylor a big kiss on the lips.

  ‘Your lips are cold?’ Taylor said.

  ‘Yeah, it’s freezing out there,’ he said as he jumped onto the sofa, cuddling up to her – she loved lots of attention.

  Whist they laid there cuddled up on the sofa, they could hear the freak upstairs moving things around. Normally they didn’t hear anything from him, so this was unusual.

  ‘Wonder what he’s doing?’ said Tommy.

  ‘I’ll get out my crystal ball, shall I, and home in on the freak?’ They both laughed together.

  ‘Ha, yeah, if only, ey? Why don’t you get this week’s Lotto numbers too, whilst you’re at it?’ Tommy leant forward and gave Taylor another kiss on the lips. ‘I’m going to nip to the gym later, do you fancy joining me?’ He smiled at her, already knowing her answer.

  ‘Nah, but...’ Taylor then slowly rubbed her hand up his thigh towards his man bits.

  Tommy declined the offer by pushing her hand away.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Taylor asked, having felt a moment of rejection. This wasn’t like Tommy at all. She normally had him on tap.

  ‘Sorry, babe. I’m just not feeling it. I still feel all bloated and unsexy.’

  ‘It’s okay, babe. We don’t have to.’ Taylor hated the rejection. A little insecurity started to haunt her slightly, which she tried to ignore and turn her thoughts around. He’s not always going to be in the mood for it. If I felt unsexy, I certainly wouldn’t, she thought to herself, which made her feel better.

  ‘I’m sorry, babe. It’s not you at all, I promise.’ Tommy kissed her on the cheek to give her reassurance. ‘Maybe later, yeah?’

  ‘Don’t force yourself!’ Taylor snapped, regretting her words, then back tracking. ‘What I mean is, it’s ok to not be in the mood. I understand.’

  Tommy leaned in and kissed her again. ‘I’m gonna take a shower and have a shave to freshen up. I’ll see you in a bit.’ He walked off into the bathroom to take his shower.

  Whilst showering, Tommy had an intense headache, making his head feel freezing cold and heavy, a bit like the feeling of brain freeze. He crouched down in the shower and held his head, hoping the pain would go away, but it grew stronger and stronger. He then got up off the floor of the shower; the headache had gone, and he felt fine. That was weird, he thought to himself.

  An hour had passed. Tommy went back into the lounge, where Taylor was watching some girly wives of Cheshire, or whatever, on the tele.

  ‘You ok, T? Took your time, didn’t you?’

  ‘I was only ten minutes, babe?’ Tommy was confused. He checked the time. ‘Strange, I only thought I was in there for a few moments?’

  ‘Maybe you got carried away with yourself?’ Taylor winked at him, implying he had been having a little “alone time”.

  ‘No, I didn’t do that, honestly. I did have an horrendous headache though. I then got up off the shower floor. I think I may have passed out?’

  Taylor looked concerned. ‘You ok? There’re painkillers in the cupboard. Do you want me to get you some?’ She stood and began rubbing the back of his head.

  ‘I’ve got a bit of a lump on the back of my head, I think I must have passed out, babe.’

  ‘Well sit down, I’ll get you some water.’ Taylor offered.

  Tommy sat down, rubbing the back of his head, feeling confused. He had lost fifty minutes somewhere, and it felt strange.

  ‘Right, what are we doing today?’ Taylor jumped with excitement, prancing around like an hyper-active school kid in an attempt to get Tommy’s mind off his headache.

  ‘I’m training, babe.’ Tommy didn’t even look at Taylor when he spoke, and his tone was a little off.

  ‘T!’ She gave him a little playful kick to the knee.

  ‘What?’ Tommy snapped at her for the first time since she could remember.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Taylor asked. ‘Why are you being moody all of a sudden? This isn’t like you!’

  ‘I’m not! I told you earlier, I’m training today.’ Again, Tommy snapped, but this time his tone was even more off balance. ‘It’s important for me to stay focused on my goal.’

  ‘Yeah, but you’re not training all day, are y
ou? Let’s go out for some lunch and go and watch a film?

  You can train after,’ Taylor said gleefully, trying hard to not mirror his mood.

  ‘As if I’m going to feel like training after lunch and a film - idiot.’ Tommy stood and walked towards the bedroom, brushing past Taylor and giving her a little nudge with his shoulder.

  ‘What the fuck was that, T?’ Taylor could feel anger building up from inside her stomach. What’s wrong with him. Who the fuck does he think he is? She was fighting her anger, trying her utmost to not retaliate and wind him up even more. ‘Come on, give me a smile!’

  ‘Babe, seriously, just fuck off! I’m off down the gym. If you want to go and do something, then call one of you friends and stop bugging me!’ By this point, Tommy had put on his gym kit and was ready to leave.

  ‘Who do you think you are talking to?’ Taylor snapped. ‘Why is it ok for you to talk to me like that? Who are you... really?’ She was totally shocked at his behaviour. ‘You know I don’t have many friends, T. That was a low blow.’

  ‘Not my problem. Why don’t you give your old, dead friend Mick a call! I’m sure he’d be happy to hear from you!’ Tommy instantly regretted his words; words he couldn’t take back; words he knew Taylor would hold on to and that would play with her mind.

  ‘You evil fucking bastard!’ Taylor shoved her hand into his shoulder.

  Tommy fell backwards, and his headache came back, this time with a vengeance. He knelt down, trying to take the pain, then he stood. He looked different. His face had changed and the muscles in his face were all relaxed.

  Taylor looked at him concerned. ‘Are you ok?’

  Tommy didn’t say a word. He clenched his fist and slammed it straight into her face. Her body buckled as she fell to the floor whimpering. He stood over her, glaring, not saying anything. He was still, like a statue, then he snapped out of it with a shake of his head.

  Blood ran from Taylor’s eye, which was already beginning to swell. Tommy just stood there staring at her in disbelief.