The Barbarian Bible

by Ianto Watt

  Actually, I think it’s a lot more likely that humans could grow 8 arms, like the Hindu goddess Durga, than the evolutionary dogma that a fish or a monkey could become human. I’d bet on the Hindu’s before I’d bet on Evolution. Why? Because most of the Hindu’s I know at least have a sense of humor and they’re pretty smart too, except when it comes to cows. Sorry, Richard. Lighten up, OK? Just put on a sari and chant ‘OM’ and quit bothering us, OK? Who cares about global warming if the cosmos has no cosmic significance? Same thing for Global Cooling too. Or Global Anything.

  Bottom line, if these guys are correct, then nothing matters. Absolutely nothing. Even the fact that they are right would have no meaning. There is no point to anything. So just go kill yourself, Richard. No, wait- don’t. Things, and especially people, do matter. At least, I hope they do. And that word, ‘hope’, is what separates those who believe there is a meaning to life, and those who say that life is nothing more than matter in motion. Hope is what marks the difference between humans and humanists.

  But let’s get back to Richard and his crew. As ludicrous as their logic may be, they seem to have the same crowd-control idea in mind as the Confucians and the Aztecs. All you have to do is look at how they keep saying that the Earth is our Mommy, and we should worship her. And oh, by the way, there’s just too many of us for Mommy to feed, so why don’t we all just effectively commit hara-kiri by doing whatever Mother’s Little Helpers tell us to do? Specifically, they say there are way too many people for poor Mommy to support with a ‘quality life’. (Question, Richard- where’s Daddy?)

  Anyway, the implication is clear. In fact, they openly say that there needs to be a massive reduction in the population of the earth if we are to survive. Wait, let me get this straight- in order to survive we have to die off? Swell mathematical logic, huh? These guys obviously flunked Math 101. I notice that none of the leaders (Ted Turner, George Soros, Bill Gates, etc.) of this evo-eco-religion are willing to go first. Or even second. And so, while their religious ideas are ludicrous, they themselves are very dangerous. Make a note, grandson; don’t let these guys get ahold of any guns or atomic weapons. Or the IRS, the ultimate WMD.

  So we’re back to crowd control. And to their hilarious logic of saying we’re all just matter that doesn’t matter, and nothing more. So again, I have to ask, if we’re only matter (and devoid of ‘spirit’), then why does anything matter? And if there’s no spirit, why have they spiritualized Mommy Earth? Is there something I’m missing here? Anyway, like I said before, evolution is like Confucianism- a lot of dead people, and no God.

  All right, how about one more? How about the fastest growing polytheistic religion around- Mormonism! What? Isn’t that a form of Christianity? No. Double no. No, these guys are actually refugees from reason. They believe that Jesus is a ‘created being’ from the planet Kolob who became the savior of this world. I swear, I am not making this up. Joseph Smith already did that. Anyway, if you’re a good Mormon boy, you’ll get to be the saviour of another planet. Sorry, no girls allowed in this pantheon. So, we’re back to the concept of ‘the gods’, eh? Yep, and as a new god, you’ll get to populate your world through the practice of ‘celestial sex’, to beget all those souls that will populate that new world. No wonder polygamy was (and actually still is) such a big part of their belief system.

  Speaking of that, do you know why Mormon women are so docile and accepting of male domination in Mormonism? It’s because the man, in Mormon belief, has the power to ‘call his wife from the grave’ in the next life. And if he’s been pleased with her, he just might do that. But if he doesn’t feel like it, she’s toast. So be good, all you ladies! No fighting amongst yourselves, girls- just learn to share, OK?

  So now you know why most UFO sightings occur in the ‘Mormon Belt’ (Idaho down to Roswell, New Mexico). These folks are already predisposed to believe in extra-terrestrial life, and it shows up in their anticipation of cosmic visitors. And if you don’t believe me about any of this, just read the stories by Mormons who’ve escaped from the reservation. Or read ‘Who Really Wrote the Book of Mormon’, by Wayne Cowdrey, Howard Davis and Donald Scales. Google up ‘Solomon Spaulding’ and see what you get. Wow, what a story! All of them (except Spaulding) were lifelong Mormons, even descendants of the original ‘witnesses’ to The Book of Mormon. Until they escaped from the reservation.

  I’m not making any of this up- in fact there’s tons of documented evidence that this religion is basically a power, sex & money scam that has enriched a lot of dirty old men. The sad part is that it’s also taken in a lot of well-meaning folks who seem to value the simple virtues that Judaism and Christianity first espoused. But those values are just window dressing used by the power brokers of this ‘religion’ to attract the gullible. This is a religion that went bad the minute it started in 1824 or so in Palmyra, New York. And there’s the real rub- how can this be the true religion if it only just began a relatively few years ago? Where’s God been since that pow-wow on Mt. Sinai? On vacation?

  Ready to move on? No? OK, just one more story before bedtime. Have I told you the story of Scientology? You know, the one where you pay most of your life savings to hear that the real name for the Earth is Teegeeack (75 million years ago, of course). And that it was used as a penal colony, like Australia when it was founded by the Anglish. And Teegeeack was run by some intergalactic warrior named Xenu who nuked all his prisoners, and their spirits still roam the earth today. No, I’m not making this stuff up either, somebody else did, a guy named L. Ron Hubbard. Now here’s the really scary part, and it’s actually true- the people who believe this idiocy today will actually sue your brains out if you make fun of them! Their ‘priesthood’ is made up of lawyers who engage in a jihad of litigation against anyone who hurts their feelings. But that makes me wonder, why don’t they just nuke us too, like Xenu did?

  Well, that completes our stroll around the block of the Mall of Ridiculous Religions. Each one has failed, in a big way, at least one of the 5 reality tests outlined in the next chapters. And each one has failed the simple test of Liar’s Logic. But that’s beside the point. Most of them, in my opinion, were begun for the simple purpose of crowd control, or worse. That’s a point that seems true in the world of politics as well. There seems to me to be a sort of symbiotic likeness between these two groups, bad religion and bad politics. Each one exists solely to cow the masses, and take them to the cleaners (or worse, in the case of Dawkins and the Big-Bang Gang). They’re only interested in power and money- big money. The numbers we’re talking about here are astounding, numbers big enough to create a respectable-sized religion or better yet, a financial consulting group. Sometimes, you can’t even tell the difference between the two. Wait, didn’t I already say that? Sorry.

  So, having mathematically examined and laughed at all these bush league players, let’s look at the world of Monotheism, and the Big Three players in the major league of religion. Let’s see how they answer the question that really matters- ‘what’s in it for me?’ Can we find one that promises anything of lasting, eternal value here, while still staying true to the values one should expect to find in an almighty, omnipotent, all-just God? If we can, then we can finally find the true Operating System that will allow us to return to the original questions posed above: where are we now, and where will we end up? What direction is the world headed in, and what can we expect to happen in our lifetime? The only way to have any confidence in our need to answer those questions is to decide, with some degree of rational certainty, who made the world. Only then can we decipher the hints and clues in the story that describes this One. And remember, grandson, the clock is always ticking…..

  Now, even though we have eliminated the ‘plural’ contestants from serious consideration in our search for the true Operating System (before the Casino closes), that still leaves quite a bit of ground to cover. There’s still a lot of legwork to do in the monotheistic world before we can confidently place our bet on the roulette wheel of life. To d
o this efficiently, we have to understand the difference between two basic concepts that divide the world of the pagan ‘gods’ from the monotheistic world of ‘The God’. These two concepts are Fate and Faith.

  Now in the pagan world, man was an unwilling captive of Fate. Nothing he did could alter his predetermined future, a future that was ultimately the same for all, good and bad alike. A fate determined by the Three Crabby Women known as ‘The Fates’. If this sounds like ‘predestination’, there’s a reason for it; it is! In the pagan world, since man is ‘fated’ to do what he does, there is really no free will. Therefore, there is no way anyone can ‘deserve’ a reward for doing good, or punishment for doing evil. Because, as Flip Wilson used to say, ‘the devil made me do it!’

  But in the monotheistic world, a man becomes a willing captive of Faith, in order to gain a promised benefit. Because man has a free will in the monotheistic world, he can alter his future by the exercise of his own free will, in the choice he makes about Faith. This exercise of Faith is what will supposedly allow a man to escape the Fates and gain a happy eternity. And here is where we begin to examine the choices before us in the arena of competitors for the title of being the authentic omnipotent, omniscient, eternal being, who hopefully has our best interests at heart.

  Now in our Big Casino scenario, each slot on the roulette wheel can be called by a name, and the name can either be the name of the God (or gods) it represents, or alternatively, the name of the religion that promotes the belief in that God or god. This belief in a particular God is what we call ‘Faith.’ Faith is what we are shopping for in our search for the correct Operating System to interpret life, both past, present and future. And faith, ultimately, is a bet. It may be based on a lot of circumstantial evidence. It may have elements of nature related to it. It may have a historical basis in some manner. But ultimately, this God cannot be personally known with absolute certainty, because if it could, we would be referring to ‘knowledge’ and not ‘faith’. The guy who places a bet on a rigged roulette wheel is betting based on knowledge, not on faith. And, in the final analysis that’s not really a bet, it’s a scam or a sham.

  Only when you make a choice in the absence of total knowledge are you making a bet. And that is what we do when we profess to believe in a particular god or God, because we cannot prove to anyone else’s total satisfaction that a particular one actually exists. So, that is what faith is; a bet, based upon our best analysis of the circumstantial evidence at our disposal. Hazy, circumstantial evidence of what we think we are, and what lies behind and beyond us. It’s a daunting task to make this decision. No wonder so many people avoid the task altogether. But that choice (of not choosing) only wins the booby prize.

  Now please note, grandson, that I have not (yet) said which slot I’d bet on. I’m only commenting for now on the incredible number of people who fail to make a bet, any bet! These folks (I call them the Sleepers) seem oblivious to the question of ‘what’s next?’ after we die. Maybe they can’t face the reality, or maybe they’re too caught up in the doings of life to notice the incredibly obvious fact that everyone dies, at some point. Duh! But in any event, they seem to be clueless to the reality that their ‘chip’ (that is, their life) has a value with which they can wager on the next life. But you have to bet the chip now, because when you are thrown out of the Big Casino (or it closes, whichever comes first), you can’t bet the chip. It has no value then. It’s expired, because you’ve expired, literally. So you have to use it now, before the proverbial bus hits you.

  OK, so what if you bet on a slot, and there is no God (or even ‘gods’). Well, as Pascal would say, what have you lost? Nothing. Because if there is no afterlife, your life meant nothing. So again, what have you lost? Nothing. So here’s the deal; everything versus nothing. Get it? Free bet. But what if there is, and you haven’t made a bet? That is the ultimate bad bet, in my book.

  And so, back to the task of which slot to place our bet on. The problem is, we have to conduct our search for that answer within the limits of our oh-so-short lifespan. Since the answer to this question of ‘which God is real’ isn’t factually obvious and undeniably true to our limited minds, we have to make this ‘leap of faith’ at some point before our unscheduled death, since we generally have no clue as to when we will be hit by the bus. And so we are all compelled to quickly examine the circumstantial evidence that we have before us, and to decide. Given this fact of not having an eternity to investigate which is the winning slot, I am writing this book to give you, my grandson, the benefit of my research and investigations in your pursuit of this answer, so that you may pursue the evidence with greater efficiency of your time. Because, ultimately, that’s all you have in life: time. Time to examine the evidence.

  Now the evidence for determining which God is the true one, as I see it, generally speaking, falls into two categories; Nature and Nurture.

  We can observe our Natural environment and conclude that the vast natural order we see in the universe is marvelous and harmonious, and therefore, must be the design or product of One that is greater than us. Or not.

  Now neither of these two opposing conclusions answers the particular question of ‘who’ this One is or isn’t. They simply speculate on the existence of such a One, but not his name or description. And so, the evidence found in Nature isn’t really going to answer the question of ‘who made this place, and why?’ It only allows us to ask ‘What is this place- Creation or Chaos?’

  But let’s face it; how exciting would the casino of life be if the winning slot had a big neon sign pointing to it, saying ‘this is it!’? Pretty boring, right? I mean, if we were told, with absolute certainty, which slot was the jackpot winner, we’d be pretty stupid to pass it up. But ultimately, that sort of construct would be a denial of free will. If it was undeniably evident which one was the winner, there wouldn’t be any need for faith, would there? So let’s be glad we have to work at the answer, because then, if we make the right bet, we’ve earned, in some small way, our reward.

  And if we won’t make the effort, who can then say they didn’t have the same chance as everyone else? So in the end, faith is the great equalizer, the thing that allows all men the same shot at the same potential reward. Whether you’re a rocket scientist or a Down’s syndrome person, in the final analysis, if neither of these two types can be absolutely sure in an empirical sense that a given choice is right, then all men are equal in this respect. Everyone gets a free bet, and all men are blind, to a greater or lesser degree. Pretty interesting arrangement, I’d say.

  So, if there is an omnipotent creator, he’s done a magnificent job of creating a situation where we must make some assumptions (about the obvious liars, including ourselves), where we can make some deductions (about the relative merits of each ‘God’ and what he promises), and then we may make the leap of faith, but only if we want to. And so, after looking at the Natural world, and finding it inadequate to answer the question of ‘Who’ made us (and why), we have to turn to the other arena of evidence before us.

  The other arena of evidence is found in Nurture, and our social environment (aka, civilizations). Here we find ourselves, and our fellow man, each in our own groupings of tribe, nation and race. Each of these civilizations has a separate story. Each civilization claims that it alone possesses The Big Story, the story that answers the question of ‘who’ made us. The problem, the puzzle if you will, is that most of these stories are usually in disagreement with each other. And since we weren’t there in the beginning when any of these stories happened (if they happened at all), we have to take somebody’s word for it.

  So once again, we are back to the task of making a decision based upon imperfect knowledge in a limited amount of time, based on the word of someone who is already dead. And so we not only have to make a leap of faith at the end of our investigation and research, we also have to make minor leaps of faith as we try to interpret these competing claims of civilizational superiority.

  So here we are to
day, trying to examine all the competing stories of man’s origin, deciphering the essential elements that each of these civilizations were built upon, and then judging them to be true, false or irrelevant to our search. This is where the search gets interesting because it requires that we educate ourselves. I’m not talking about school here, as the schools of today teach very little and understand even less. We live in an age of extreme ignorance, in spite of the fact that we are surrounded by information. Surrounded to the point of drowning. And this overwhelming amount of data drives many people to the other extreme, wherein they simply choose ‘amusement’ versus the study of the Muses of History.

  But they do it at their own peril, for soon enough, these Sleepers awaken near the end of their time in the Casino, and they find that they have absolutely no idea which slot is the right one, and in a panic they throw their chip onto the nearest slot and hope for the best. No, it’s better to do some hard work now, and to have the knowledge that you’ve actually tried to figure out the right answer, if for no other reason that we have to live with ourselves, perhaps (and this is what this book is all about) for eternity.

  So let’s get down to the task of examining each of these competing civilizations, to get to the root elements of each, and to decide which one was built on the true knowledge that will lead us to the right bet, and to recognize the rest for the liars they are.

  But before I go any further, I have to say this; even though I have made light of ‘the gods’, I do believe that in the final analysis that they exist and that the civilization built upon the belief in them (specifically the ancient Greco-Roman world) has left us an invaluable set of clues. Not clues as to which God is the true one (that’s what the next chapters are about) but rather, clues as to how the ‘floor show’ in the Big Casino will play out, during our lives and the rest of time. Clues that tell us how the whole act will end. And these clues are what assure me that my choice of who to bet on is the right one, the one that will bring to me Pascal’s Infinite Payoff.