by Ianto Watt
As for the Muslims, the only miracle I can see here is that anyone believes this stuff. But I guess if you have to believe it (or die), then that explains why it continues to exist in those areas of the earth where it is still preached (by force). Who could have guessed that explosive underwear could be so persuasive? No, it’s pretty obvious to me that the only reason it has survived for 1400 years is that it has been willing to kill anyone who doesn’t ‘agree’ that it is true. Persuasive? No. Effective? Yes. But will it last, for eternity? Even if it did, it wouldn’t be the kind of eternity I’m hoping for. How about you?
WHO HAS THE MOST BELIEVABLE OR DESIREABLE HEAVEN?
Here’s my bottom-line thought about the Muslim Heaven. You’re just a servant (or worse, if you’re not an Arab). And the Jewish heaven isn’t much better for Gentiles, because we don’t get in anyway. So these two are out, for me.
But in the Christian heaven, we get to be part of the Big Family. That’s something big, to my way of looking at it. Why? Because I enjoy my own family, and I know how I want to treat my own children, and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and……….you get the idea. That’s how I want to be treated in heaven. In the Christian heaven we’re all connected by this thing called Love, and it can transcend everything else, and even forgive us our failings here on earth. That’s huge. No servant duty here. No work, no worries, and no war. And best of all, it is equally accessible for girls! As the father of wonderful girls and the husband of an excellent wife, that’s an absolute must for me. It’s that Love thing, you know?
SO WHO HAS AN UNBROKEN LINE OF PRIESTLY / KINGLY SUCCESSION?
At the risk of sounding monotonous, the Jews lose. Two thousand years is too long for intermission. Halftime’s over and their team is still in the locker room. Delay of game penalty.
What about Coach Schneersohn and his Brooklyn Blintz team? I’ve got a news flash for you- Talmud ain’t Torah, and we’re talking priest and kings here. Talmud’s got neither, so there’s no continuity here. You can’t play the first half as a football team and the second half as a basketball team. Life is a contact sport, sonny-boy. Besides, Schneersohn (who was said to be the messiah by ultra-orthodox Chabad Hassidic Jews), died and hasn’t been seen for quite a while. I think that’s a hint, guys.
Nevertheless, any Talmudic rabbi will tell you that the Fall of the Temple was actually a blessing, as this was God’s means of dispersing the Chosen Ones throughout the world, whereby they would ‘enlighten’ the rest of us as to their superiority. ‘United we fall, divided we stand’, as they say. Seriously. Never mind their own Torah scriptures which repeatedly castigated them for their faithlessness to this same God (which is why they have subordinated the Torah to the Talmud). Never mind that the only way this dispersal could be a blessing was if they used it as a means of subverting each of the nations that hosted their remnants. That may sound harsh, but the only proof that this wouldn’t be true is if there was some evidence that these Chosen Ones had decided to proselytize the world, which they haven’t. Why? Because their Talmudic beliefs say the Gentiles aren’t worth it.
And never mind that they still see themselves, personally, as not only members of The Chosen race, but collectively and politically, as the coming Messiah. All of which explains their refusal to assimilate in any culture they find themselves in. And no amount of historical fact or their own scriptural reference can shake them from this belief, because if they did look at it critically, they would have to admit they were sinners, just like the rest of us. And that’s something they won’t do. Which is why the Talmud says there are only 7 Jews in Hell. The rest of them get an automatic free pass, because they were (and still are, in their own minds) The Chosen Ones.
What about the High Priesthood of the Muslims? Well, to begin with, since there’s no real priesthood, there’s certainly no High Priest. Just ask a Sunni if he recognizes the legitimacy of any Shiite Imam. Then do it the other way. Heck, ask any of them is there is any High Priest in Islam. And kingship has the same problem, all throughout the past 1400 years of Islamic rule. So they aren’t even in the running in this category.
Well, that leaves Holy Rome. Let’s look at the Bizarro versions first; the Protestants say we’re all priests, prophets and kings. Math time; do I even need to ask if this is possible? What’s the point of being a king if everyone is a king? Doesn’t that kind of destroy the concept? Who am I the king over if everyone else is also a king? And wouldn’t this spark a whole lot of wars, as each king tries to subjugate his neighboring kingdom (in order to create someone under him, thus validating the concept of ‘kingship’)?
And what about every man being his own priest? A priest is supposed to intercede on behalf of the people, but if every man is a priest, who does he intercede for but himself? Same thing with prophecy. A prophet is supposed to speak God’s word to the people. Who needs a prophet if you are one yourself? And why, if they all have the same God, are they saying different things, since there’s over 30,000 different Protestant groups? How stupid can these people be to buy this crap? Where’s their logic? Did they all flunk Math 101?
Using this same Protestant logic, all of us should also be sinners who are damned. I mean, where’s the tipping point on this one? Doesn’t this mean the Hindu heaven (with 330 million gods) is more logical than the heaven this sort of belief would produce?
What about the Orthodox heaven? Well, will the real High Priest of Orthodoxy please stand up? Will the Romanian Orthodox follow a Russian Orthodox High Priest here on earth? No. What about vice-versa? Nope. Then what does that portend for heaven? What kind of religious unity is that? This is what ‘autocephalous’ behavior leads to. So is there continuity of the High Priesthood when there are lots of nationalist versions of him, all in competition with each other? What, you say it’s not competition? It sure ain’t cooperation, let alone communion.
Well, again, that leaves Holy Rome. 266 continuous popes, for 2,000 years, still in power today, over approximately one-fifth of all humanity today, spread all around the globe, and still growing. And doing it all without explosive underwear. Have you seen the YouTube video clips of Muslims being executed for leaving Islam? Now show me one where a Christian is being executed for leaving Holy Rome. Right, there aren’t any. Why? Because leaving Christianity is easy! In fact, it seems that staying is easy for a lot of them too. Some people totally disagree with Holy Rome yet they refuse to leave, and there’s no earthly punishment for that either! At least the ones who do leave are more intellectually honest than the whiners that stay, but still there’s no earthly punishment for either. Holy Rome sounds like a pretty self-confident group to me, when they won’t take retribution on deserters or dissenters. And look at where their fastest growth is occurring- in Africa and Asia, where becoming a Christian is certainly not the way to win friends and influence people. Martyrdom is still on the menu for much of this part of the world, at least for Holy Romans. There must be something more to it than earthly reward for those that truly believe, because they are promised hardship and they sure get it! Bottom line, the Holy Romans wins this category of High Priesthood and Kingship, hands down.
SO WHO HAS THE MOST DESIREABLE MESSIAH?
OK, we’re back to the question of ‘what are you looking for’? Are you looking for an earthly butt-kicker, who takes revenge on your behalf for every slight you’ve suffered, real or imagined? Do you want to grind some (or most) people into the dust, forever? Then Islam is for you! And the Jewish Pharisee version is just the same! Except it’s kosher. Sorry, we’re out of the Mosaic version. Hasn’t been in stock for 2,000 years. But they still have it at the Holy Roman place down the street. Fresh manna, free, every day, 24/7/365. Complete with desert. Not dessert. That’s for later. Much later, grandson.
What’s it cost? Well, are you willing to ask forgiveness for your own sins? Do you want a real family that loves you, and will you love them as well? Are you willing to forgive them when they do you wrong? Will you accept an ‘untouchable’ as your brother?
Do you want a personal relationship with a personal God who will reveal himself to you? Are you willing to get stomped most of your earthly life, in one fashion or another, in order to be with Him? No problem, sign right here! Now get in line and serve your brethren. Huh? Too hard? Wow, you really are hard to please. These are the only three choices (Jerusalem, Holy Rome or Mecca), make up your mind! I’ve made up mine, if you can’t already guess. It’s so mathematically simple! And structurally it’s simple too. In fact, we can boil Holy Roman belief down to three simple rules;
Admit you’re a bad dog (but don’t be a Wiener Dog);
Repent of your sins (continuously, none of this ‘once-saved, always saved’ crap);
Follow the rules ( Love God, love your neighbor, forgive your enemies, support the Church, obey the Pope, and get your butt kicked).
Well, I guess this is the end of the book for some of you grandchildren. If you’re too proud or lazy or mathematically challenged to see the simple facts, adios mi amigos. It can’t be because you’re stupid, because you’ve got Barbarian blood in you. I hope it’s not because you’re lazy, because that’s how so many of our relatives fell to the siren songs of our betrayers. But pride is the worst possibility of all because then you’ll have disowned your future. Pride always trades the future for the present. I hope you can see that. It takes real foresight. And stamina.
Grandchild of mine or not, my loyalty to my ultimate ‘parent’ outweighs my DNA connection to you. And that’s the way it should always be. The child should always be beholden to the parent, not the other way around. You can always have another child but you can’t get another parent. The choice is yours. But if that’s not the case in your mind, that’s too bad for you, because you’re going to miss the incredible tour of history we’re going on in the second part of this book, and where we can see where we’ll all be pretty soon, staring down the barrel of what’s coming, for everyone, believers and non-believers alike. And good luck with whatever other Operating System you chose when you try and use it to decide which slot to bet on in the big roulette wheel of life in the Big Casino. I’m ready to follow Pascal’s logic, and I’m making the same bet he did. Holy Rome works. The others don’t. Holy Rome is both rational and mystical, and I like that. Math (and physics) matter in this Operating System, but so does Metaphysics. That covers all my bases. I’m all in.
Now if you’re still not convinced, but you’re not ready to put this book down yet either, then come along and see if this Operating System doesn’t give the most satisfying and logical answers to the question of what mankind has really been up to since the Fall of Troy. Part II, coming up!
Well, the hard part is behind us, grandson, so relax and have some wine. I don’t care what your mother says, have a drink. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. If you’ve made it this far, you deserve it. We’ve covered all of the ground that led me to conclude that the correct Operating System that can accurately discern the meaning of the Oracles, both ancient and modern, is the rationality of the original Christian faith, known as the Holy Roman (Catholic) Church. This rationality, however, in contrast to the Bizarro versions that came later, is also equally balanced by the mystery that Holy Rome encompasses. These two elements, in equal parts, allow one to see and understand the strange happenings of history in their complex entirety. So the rest of this exercise is going to be pretty easy.
All we have to do now is install our new Operating System and watch as the real happenings of history unfold before us as we cruise through each significant happening since the Fall of Troy. So here we go, as we start to unfold the real meaning of history as seen through the eyes of the Barbarian Believer.
But first, a word on how I’ll proceed. We’re going to take this chronologically, which of course is how history happened. Note to Wiener-Dog history professors: we’re not going to study nations and eras in isolation from one another. And we’re not going to pretend that people lived in isolation from one another and that there is no commonality among men in their origins. Darwin-be-damned. We’re not a bunch of evolving organisms. That would mean we’re all totally different species from one another, except for our protozoan origins. So go away, bark at someone who’s scared of you. Otherwise I’ll have to laugh at you and your wimpy stupidity. Bark bark bark! Idiots.
OK, having said that, let’s get down to work because that clock is still ticking, and I hear it louder than you. I’m older, remember? And the first thing we have to do as we prepare for this 3100 year journey is to understand the distinction between the Imperial Rome and Holy Rome. They are two totally and diametrically opposed entities. And they are both alive today, and at each other’s throats. Every other group is merely a cat’s paw, a straw man or a mask of one of the impostors. Except for our old friends, the Pharisees. And they are still trying to take both sides for a ride. We’ll get to that trip later. First, let’s try to understand the basic differences between Imperial Rome and Holy Rome. Then we’ll go back to the real beginning of fractured mankind’s history, at Troy, and see how Old Troy becomes New Rome, in both its Imperial and Holy forms.
It is now time to examine what I call ‘the Urge to Empire’, or as the Imperial Romans would say it, Libido Dominandi. The desire to dominate. This introduction to Part II of this book will examine the difference between Imperial Rome and Holy Rome, and where these two entities reside today.
Now I know that this section is going to cause a lot of confusion, not least because these two entities share a lot of the same words. For example, the highest religious authorities in Imperial Rome (including Julius Caesar) bore the title of Pontifex Maximus (that is, the Greatest Bridge-Builder). As in, one who is able to bridge the gulf between earth and heaven, for the benefit of mortal men. Or at least, for Caesar. And that same name is the official title of the Pope, who, for obvious reasons, claims the same role for mankind. The difference, of course, is that while the earth is the same for both groups, the heavens they refer to (Mt. Olympus of the Greeks vs. the Empyrean Heavens of the God of the Jews and Christians) are diametrically opposed.
Another example of this dual-usage of words is the way that the people of Imperial Rome referred to Caesar. They didn’t call him ‘the Emperor’, rather, they called him ‘Dominus Noster’, that is, ‘Our Lord’. Which is what the Apostles called Jesus. Starting to see the problem here?
Here’s another name; the Curia. That is the Latin name for the Roman Senate. That’s also the name of the ruling administrative body of the Vatican (Holy Rome), headed by the Pope. Here’s another funny word; Basilica. A basilica today is understood to be a major station (church structure) of Holy Rome, as in ‘St. so-and-so Basilica. But what is a basilica? It was originally an Imperial Roman law court. But when Caesar and his Legions left town for the new capital of Constantinople, things got pretty random with the arrival of my lawless cousins (the Goths, etc.). Then Holy Rome occupied these buildings that were left empty in so many senses. Holy Rome substituted Church law (which applied to all Christians) for Public law, which applied to all subjects of Imperial Rome (except Caesar, of course).
The trick for Holy Rome was to try and get everyone, believers and pagans alike, to agree to live by these rules, which she eventually did, voluntarily by the way. This was the opposite of Imperial Roman practice, which was to enforce the law by means of the sword. Or more specifically, by the Fasces. What’s that? Patience, we’ll get to that in a bit. But yes, it is important. Remember that word.
Anyway, you can see why there is so much confusion when you simply use the term ‘Rome’ without specifying whether you are referring to Imperial Rome or Holy Rome. And truth be told, there was a long period of about 100 years when everyone was confused, because everything was in a state of flux, as Imperial Rome weakened, and Holy Rome filled the vacuum left by the Emperor’s weakness or absence. Nature abhors a vacuum, you know. So does God, evidently, as he filled it in the very beginning. And that’s what happened as Imperial Rome receded to the east, to her new cap
ital at Constantinople. Holy Rome began to fill the lawless vacuum left by the Emperor’s absence. But enough of this, let’s get back to the primary difference between Imperial and Holy Rome, and the reasons they were and still are (and ever will be) implacable foes.
First, let’s look at their names and what they really mean. ‘Imperial’ is pretty obvious, I think. The bottom line to understanding this term is ‘do it because I, Caesar, say you must. Do it, or die!’ Was he making his rules for the benefit of the people? Hahahahahah! Sure! OK, we all know that the Emperor really wasn’t (and still isn’t) doing his work for our sake. He’s doing it to dominate. To dominate the entire world, if that’s possible. That’s his goal, and each iteration of Caesar is simply a continuation of this Libido Dominandi. That’s what their game is all about.
Holy Rome is different. Let’s see why. Let’s start with the name; holy. What does it really mean? Does it mean you walk around with your hands folded all the time, dressed in ashes and sack cloth? No, and it’s pretty obvious most members of the Church don’t do that (although a good percentage will probably go to Hell, but not for failing to do that). No, all the word ‘holy’ means is ‘separated’. As in, apart from others. Apart in belief, apart in practice.
The Jews were supposed to be the Holy People of God, who set out His 10 main demands (and 613 minor ones) in the Jewish Bible we know as the Old Testament. These laws would keep His people apart, in practice (and marriage) from the pagans who surrounded them wherever they went. Why did the Jewish God want these people apart from their Pagan cousins? Because the pagans ticked Him off. They were jerks (and most still are). They did all kinds of stuff the Creator didn’t like. So He told His chosen ones to stay away from the pagans, and not to act like them. That’s all that the word ‘holy’ means. It doesn’t necessarily mean some outward form of apparent piety. Holiness should lead to an inward purity, not to an outward appearance of piety.