Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

I smiled in relief when Riff waited outside our choir classroom with his arms open. I barreled into his embrace, shuddering while he hugged me. Once he kissed my forehead, I relaxed with a soundless sigh. “See you guys in a bit,” Char chuckled, “since our next class is short, so we can watch your debut. Thanks for that. Anything that gets me out of class early is fine by me.” Snorting, I waved to Char while Riff threw his head back to laugh so hard, he shook us both.

  Claire whispered words of encouragement when I trembled, as did the rest of our choir, and Mr. Thatch beamed while assuring me I’d be perfect. We warmed up as a choir, singing some fun songs, before Riff and I practiced so he could ensure our small twirls wouldn’t cause me any discomfort. I experienced a bit of pain, but nothing I couldn’t ignore. So, I smiled at Riff, and he frowned as if he sensed I was dishonest but sighed his acceptance. Good, so he realized how stubborn I was. Although this was a situation where he could easily triumph. But he knew I wanted to do this for him so, hah, I won.

  I trembled a little from fear and excitement when Mr. Thatch announced it was time to head to the cafeteria, sending the rest of the choir ahead to grab seats. Other than Claire, who left to go to the piano onstage. They waved with words of encouragement, and butterflies filled my stomach. Riff led me to the stage, and we stared at the closed curtain while I calmed my breathing so I wouldn’t mess up. Shaking his head, Riff chuckled and kissed my forehead, and my negative thoughts and feelings vanished. I blinked at him, still unsure why he could do that, and he grinned, kissing my forehead again, which led to my shoulders relaxing. Huh. I hadn’t even noticed I was tense. I smiled gratefully, and Riff gave me a tender smile.

  Mr. Thatch announced us, and instead of panicking, I took in a deep, calm breath, smiling at Riff, who grinned with a nod. I ignored the audience, pretending Riff and I were practicing, and let the song take me over. Our voices harmonized perfectly, and the final twirl Riff led me through ended with me pressed against him while our chests heaved as we sang our last note.

  At first, there was silence, and I glanced towards the cafeteria to find every student, teacher, and member of the faculty frozen in shock. However, a second later, they burst into wolf whistles, cheering, and deafening applause. My cheeks burned, and I hid my face against Riff’s chest while he laughed and unabashedly ate up the attention. The entire school was cheering, save for one, and I felt his disdainful stare like a bucket of icy water down my spine.

  After several moments, when the cheering seemed unlikely to die down, his disapproving voice cut through it like a cruel knife. “Are you done acting like a whore up there?” Kyler demanded, and my soul ached while my heart thumped. Why? Why does he do this?

  What startled me, was even the students I believed to hate me snapped at him. “The only whore here is you, Kyler!” “Why did you say that!? That was a beautiful performance!” “You wish you could sing like that, let alone handle a young woman so beautifully. Hell, you wish a young woman that beautiful would look at you!” “Leave Angel alone!” “Stop it, Kyler!” Within moments, the cafeteria became a seething pit while every student glared at what was their golden boy mere minutes before. What happened?

  “You should have realized it would happen,” Riff sneered with his eyes on the still glaring Kyler. “Just because you fight it, doesn’t mean everyone else does. Hell, half the school doesn’t know how. Congratulations, Kyler, you are king of nothing.”

  His voice was quiet, I almost didn’t hear him over the crowd, but the widening of Kyler’s eyes shocked me. How the hell did Kyler hear Riff over the din from across the room? No. I will not think about it since I plan on leaving. It’s neither my problem nor my business.

  However, Mr. Renard stepped forward with a stony expression and announced, “enough. I didn’t want to do this, Kyler, but I’ve had enough of your bullshit. You bully Angel, hit her, and tear her down every chance you get. You make up lies about where she came from and why she speaks of leaving. So, here, let’s put those questions to rest.”

  Oh no. He didn’t. Please tell me Marcus didn’t do what I fear he did. Riff’s angry frown warned he did, and I shuddered. I’d prefer answering those two hundred texts again, since Riff decreed them part of my homework last night. Hesitantly, I walked with Riff, sitting at our usual spot while a large white screen descended in front of the stage. Someone set a laptop on a table, and I hunched in my seat, hoping to disappear. Mr. Renard stuck a USB into the computer, and I trembled. I didn’t want to hear this, let alone watch it. Riff turned his head, and his lips moved, albeit I didn’t hear a sound, but in the next second Char knelt beside me. Riff pulled me onto his lap, with Char taking my seat and holding my hand while murmuring words of encouragement.

  As soon as the screen came to life, and I saw my apartment, a soft whine escaped my throat. “What? Afraid we’ll learn your dirty little secrets?” Kyler taunted, and I curled into a ball on Riff’s lap.

  I smiled, however, when I saw my little brother waiting for me to open the door with a grin. Seconds later, he barreled into my open arms, and we looked so happy together. Shortly after, it showed us hugging goodbye, with Matty yawning before asking Tammy why she thought I coughed up so much blood. But then I crept out of my apartment with wary eyes. This time, I saw where they came from and scowled.

  I closed my eyes when he came on screen and tuned him out. I didn’t want to hear his words, not again, not so soon. Several loud gasps caught my attention, and I peeked, discovering the bastard raised my shirt to expose my bruises and reason through my hospital visit. I tuned it back out, shuddering when Riff’s chest vibrated with a silent growl.

  However, after the loud outcries from around us, I glanced up, watching the bastard take his jacket from my doorknob. He was such a dick. Not too much later, Marcus barreled on screen, slowing to creep into my apartment without making a single noise. There weren’t any raised voices like I expected. But what felt like forever later, the goons backed out warily after the jackass, all of them pale. I stalked after them with an ominous expression, and Marcus followed me, appearing amused. After musing that Marcus understood me in a way he couldn’t, he promised to visit for Christmas wherever I was. Then, the bastard left like Marcus said, and I sighed with relief. Once he snapped me out of my trance-like state, I tuned out the video again. I didn’t need to hear our discussion.

  After the screen went dark, I kept my eyes low, hunching on Riff’s lap to appear small. “I would like to go home,” I whispered to Riff, and he made a soothing noise. I didn’t want to be stared at like a freak. I didn’t want to come to school at all. Why? Why did Marcus do this? They aimed it at Kyler, from what Mr. Renard said. But why? What’s going on? I didn’t look at him when I scurried out of the cafeteria, hell I didn’t look at anybody. I didn’t want to hear the laughter, them mocking the orphan on the run. God, if they said anything nasty about Matty, I didn’t know what I’d do, but it wouldn’t be good. He’s my little brother and all I have in the world.

  Marcus waited outside like he did my first day, and I stopped mid-step when I saw him. Tears filled my eyes, and he tutted, moving to pull me into a hug so I could cry into his chest. I didn’t want to, but he enabled me to. I felt betrayed, and yet I didn’t. I didn’t understand. Some part me of believed he knew what was best, and I needed to accept that. My soul knew this to be correct, but my mind rebelled against the idea. I’ve been in charge of my life for years. Who was he to think he knew better? Why did he believe it was the right thing to do? Why couldn’t I hate him for it?

  “I’m sorry, Angel, but if he keeps behaving the way he has, he will kill you. He almost did on Sunday. Not to mention what his actions brought to your door. I know you’re hurt, and that pains my soul, sweetheart, it burns and aches so horribly that I will suffer until you forgive me. As I deserve. Do not force yourself to forgive me, to spare me the pain, Angel. I promise I did this with your best interests at heart, and only because it was necessary. Anything else I do that involves you, we will disc
uss first. Just you and I, I swear, sweetheart,” Marcus whispered in a voice laden with pain.

  After a moment, I whimpered, “I’m going to be sick.” Without hesitation, Marcus brought us to the bushes in front of the school. As soon as I was somewhere I could let go, bile rose in my throat and spilled from my mouth. Marcus held my hair, apologizing the entire time. Once I could straighten, he whistled at Riff, who tossed him a bottle of water which he handed to me. Gratefully, I took it to rinse the nastiness out of my mouth.

  Marcus bustled me into the backseat of his car, where Riff waited with open arms. From a distance, someone shouted my name, and I ducked, hiding my face in Riff’s chest while I fought tears. I’ve only known the worst of people, and I doubt they’ll refrain from taunting me now. Why would they when they had the best ammunition?

  The ride to my apartment was silent, and Marcus followed Riff and me inside. He walked to the television, turned it on and brought up Netflix. “I have something for you to watch, it’s called The Good Place. It’s funny, and kind of light, I suppose. I think you’ll enjoy it and it might take your mind off things for a bit. As for school, that’s up to you. Riff will stay with you, but Char will attend his classes and bring your homework each day. Unless you need him. He and Riff will get Riff’s car later, okay? After dinner, whether or not you eat, sweetheart. Now, again, no going anywhere without Riff. Tonight, you are not working, but you can sit behind the counter while Riff and Char do, all right? I’m sorry, Angel. I would tell you everything, but I fear a certain part of it would break you at the moment. When it’s not so fresh, perhaps. And, if you want to run, I will warn you that a lot of us will go with you. We’ll make a village in the woods, with Matty and Tammy, and your monster will never find us. Otherwise, when he comes back, we will deal with him for you. I want you and Matty together, it’s only fair, and that’s the only way you won’t look over your shoulder for the rest of your life,” Marcus murmured. “For now, I’ll watch the first episode with you. Unless you want me to go?”

  Shaking my head, I pulled his shirt, so he sat to my left while Riff was on my right. I curled with Riff on the couch, sighing silently with relief when Marcus kissed the top of my head and stayed close enough that his body heat warmed my side. Curiously, I watched the episode unfold, chuckling a few times, and by the end, I was hooked. Marcus watched a few shows with us before announcing he would get me something light to eat. When he came back, he gave me a ham sandwich to split with Riff, my side having considerably less meat. I smiled when Riff hummed while wolfing his food, albeit my eyes widened when Marcus put a bowl of mixed fruit in my lap. I glanced at him, and he smiled. “Something healthy for you to munch on if the urge strikes,” Marcus chuckled, kissing my forehead, and I managed a shaky smile.

  To be honest, I didn’t feel like eating. Still, while I only ate a few bites of my sandwich, I found half the bowl missing when I caught myself reaching for a grape. I blinked at the bowl, then at Marcus, who chuckled with a fond smile. “I had a feeling that would be more up your alley, sweetheart. Whatever you eat is a win. I’m sorry. I wish things hadn’t turned out this way, but this is the best I can make of this situation. But, if it’s all right with you, I think you should take it one day at a time and see how it goes,” Marcus murmured. “Don’t decide while you are shocked, betrayed, and hurt, sweetheart. You’ll only regret choosing rashly when you recall this time in your life.” I nodded, seeing the wisdom in his words. It wasn’t like a few days would make that much of a difference.

  “Marcus, did you mean what you said when I first came here?” I asked in a voice barely above a whisper while we waited for another episode to start.

  “Yes. If you leave, I will help you get set up. You will have a sizeable group going, sweetheart. Perhaps not all at once, but it will happen. We love you, Angel, and we refuse to let you face the dangers of the world alone,” Marcus replied with an earnest expression.

  “I promise you are not leaving at all without me,” Riff added nonchalantly after pausing the show. “Where you go, I go, Angel. That you’ve been alone for six years makes my skin crawl and fear race along my spine. Add in you’ve been separated from Matty for so long, and my heart aches for you, sweetheart.” Riff kissed my forehead when tears spilled down my cheeks. Sniffling, I cuddled closer to Riff, and he resumed the episode with a soft, contented sigh. I wasn’t separated from Matty the entire time. He had to pass a test before he could attend his boarding school. But that is a time best pretermitted.

  After a few hours, Char walked in and chuckled upon finding the pair of us cuddled on the couch. “Hey now,” he announced with amusement, “sharing is caring.” I glanced at him, and he sat in the spot Marcus vacated an hour ago to open his arms. “Such a glutton, Riff, you’re so selfish.” Chuckling, I left the heavily pouting Riff’s embrace to cuddle with Char, who laughed triumphantly. After kissing my forehead, Char grabbed my phone from the table, quirking his brow while he turned it on, and I flushed guiltily.

  I turned it off when I got home, not wanting to see any mocking texts or receive nasty calls. I blinked when the text icon had a small three hundred above it. Holy hell. Char shook his head and read my texts, his arm tightening when I tried to retreat. He didn’t hurt me, he was careful, but I still stopped with a soft sigh. I did not doubt that if I continued to push, he would let me go to ensure I didn’t get hurt. Thus, since I was more worried he was upset with me than anything, I stayed. Clearing his throat, he read some texts out loud, continuing even after tears trailed down my cheeks. Seeming to sense I was about to bawl, he tossed my phone aside and pulled me tighter to his chest seconds before I lost control.

  “I don’t think Angel is used to people caring about her,” Riff murmured, and Char made a noise of agreement. Every text he read asked how I was, expressed condolences for losing my parents, or someone’s sorrow for my past. Each one was personal, and I felt the sincerity of their words in my soul.

  Sniffling, I raised my head, and Char smiled while tucking my bangs behind my ear. “The rest of them are like the ones you heard, I checked them all,” Char chuckled. “When you’re ready, read them yourself, and reply. Even just saying ‘I’m okay’ or ‘thank you’ is enough, sweetheart. But it warms people’s hearts when you respond to their kindly meant words. They don’t expect it immediately, but when you’re ready. At the moment, they want you to know they love you and offer their support, so if you need them, you know you can call upon them. Even if it’s just to chat about something unimportant, they will gladly do so, Angel. Whatever you need to help you through what you’ve suffered. To almost die and face your monster within twenty-four hours is no minor feat. So, yes, they’re worried.”

  I nodded my understanding, and he smiled, placing a tender kiss on my forehead before helping me stand. When I looked at him in confusion, he reminded me he and Riff had work, and my cheeks heated. I couldn’t believe I forgot that. In my defense, the last few days overworked my emotions. Chuckling, Char ruffled my hair and threw his arm around my shoulders to lead me towards his car while Riff followed with a loud yawn.

  Ava tutted when we walked in, throwing her arms around me and glaring at Marcus, who sighed with a grimace. When he opened his mouth, her eyes narrowed, and I shifted uncomfortably. It was my fault they were fighting, and I felt terrible. Softening, Ava hugged me tighter for a moment before confessing, “I’m sorry, Angel. I know he meant well, but I don’t like that you’re in pain. I promise we aren’t yelling or screaming hurtful words at each other. But I am upset with my husband, and he knows it.”

  “Please don’t fight because of me,” I whispered in a voice full of pain, and she made a soft noise of protest. “I don’t want to be the reason someone is miserable.”

  “Oh, I’m not miserable,” Marcus chuckled, although he wouldn’t meet my eyes when I raised my gaze. “Merely wishing I came up with a better plan. Perhaps a one-on-one showing instead of the entire school.” He winced when Ava growled, and I looked at her reproa
chfully. Shocked, Ava took a step back, her eyes dropping when I stared at her with a slight frown. “Hah,” Marcus muttered under his breath, “I’m not the only one in trouble.”

  “You will not use me as a reason to argue, or fight, or whatever you’re doing,” I ordered in a voice that shook a little from the strength of my emotions. I couldn’t be stuck in the middle like this, I refused. I wasn’t worth arguing over. What a way to say thanks for everything, by coming between them and making them upset. No, I couldn’t do this. I would leave in the middle of the night if they didn’t stop.

  “All right,” Ava soothed, her eyes meeting mine when I withdrew. “No running, Angel, or I swear we will yell so loud you must come back to make us stop.” A slight smile curled my lips at her threat, albeit my heart ached at the thought of them at each other’s throats. Especially if it was my fault. Not to mention, thinking of leaving them pained me, because I didn’t want to.

  “Yes, you adopted us, Angel, took us in, you can’t abandon us now,” Marcus lamented, his eyes full of mischief. I narrowed mine, and he chuckled, holding his arms out in a silent demand for a hug, and I obliged. “In all seriousness,” he whispered in my ear, “Ava is hurt because she knows you’re in pain. So, she’s upset because of the emotional turmoil I put you through today. I understand, and I’m not angry with her or you either, so don’t you dare even think that. I am in the wrong, not you, sweetheart. I will give you another puzzle piece to mull over, albeit I’m sure you’ve picked up on it yourself. However, I am handing you a bit of power because once it’s confirmed, you can focus and use it. Before you get upset, the reason no one is worried is we know it’s not something you’ll ever consider abusing.” I stared at him, biting my lip with a furrowed brow, and he chuckled while brushing my hair from my face. “You calm us by your presence. We perceive your emotions, and they affect us. So, say we’re angry, and you want us to calm down. By standing here calmly, everyone in the vicinity calms with you. That is part of who you are. It won’t work on everyone in the world, your monster, for example, but most people in this town are susceptible. Some will resist, although, after today, when you sang, you established yourself. I can’t explain it better until you’re ready for all the details, but when you sing, it’s instant. Your presence takes a little more time. But we’re talking minutes if not seconds, Angel.”