Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  “You think I get snarky,” Tyger chuckled, “Angel’s snark would eat mine alive. Before breakfast.” Damn straight.

  “I’m aware of this,” Ryker replied dryly, “I knew her as a child. And I’ve watched her over the years as well.” I scoffed, schooling my expression to appear neutral when Ryker’s gaze returned to me. “As for you, my dear, you need to sit. Now. You are wavering, and I fear Matty’s reaction and feelings of guilt if you collapse.” How low, using my little brother to con me into doing what you desire. Ryker’s eyes narrowed when I met his gaze, and he growled, “I am not conning you into anything, nor am I using your little brother against you. I am stating a fact. I’m not worried about how he will react. However, I fear the lecture he will subject me to while you recover. When Matty is near Liam, he loses all fear of me and does not hesitate to make his opinion known. In other words, when Matty is near his self-appointed protector, he becomes you.”

  Scoffing, I raised my gaze again and moved towards Ryker to growl in his face only to yelp when my legs gave out. Blinking, I growled upon realizing Ryker saved me from collapsing and pushed against his chest. “Put me down,” I snarled, and he chuckled.

  “I warned you to sit,” Ryker replied nonchalantly. Defiantly, I stared him down, and his brow furrowed. “Tyger, am I mistaken?” The shifter gently tugged on some strands of my hair until I turned my head to face him. Gently, he tilted my chin and gazed into my eyes.

  “Unfortunately, you are not,” Tyger sighed after a moment. “I fear you have no choice. You should not have fed from her knowing she would run and push through the barrier.” I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell he was going on about. Instead, I coughed, and my palm had blood on it when I pulled it away. The hell?

  “I’m afraid my sins are worse than that,” Ryker admitted after a moment with a soft sigh. “I forced Angel to drink my blood to heal the damage that pissant human and his fellows did to her. And the wolf who rejected her as a mate. He hurt her badly.” Something hot ran from my nose again, and my eyes. Ah, crap. Sure enough, blood leaked from my ears a few seconds later. Dammit. “Between Angel taking my blood, her exposure to the rain and cold, Angel’s exhaustion, and my feeding from her, I’m afraid I’ve started something that cannot be stopped. But I can stave it off, for now. Which will be preferable to my bunny.”

  “Either way, she will kick your ass once she recovers,” Tyger scoffed. “And you will deserve it. Let’s not even mention Arc’s reaction.”

  “What’s wrong?” The vampire who brought Brutus asked. “I’ve never seen a human react like that.”

  “Unfortunately, Angel is no longer entirely human,” Tyger replied in a tight voice. “Had I known you put your blood in Angel, I never would have let you drink from her. I knew she would bond with Arctic, and would have reminded you that the consequences of what that meant stared you in the face!” Through my hazy vision, I saw Tyger’s dark scowl, and I tried to frown, but my facial muscles didn’t want to listen to me.

  “Meaning?” The other vampire asked after a moment. Thank you, kind sir.

  Tyger chuckled, and tousled my hair before he answered, “if Ryker doesn’t finish what he inadvertently started, Angel will die. He can buy some time, but if she gets into any scrapes, it will bleed out and bring her back to this state. Worse yet, he can only buy time sparingly. So, if Angel sticks her nose into everything too soon, this option will no longer be viable. And, from what we’ve seen of our trouble magnet so far, my guess is this will be a very short-lived fix.”

  Scoffing, I opened my mouth to argue, only for something to press against my lips. By the time my mind recognized that Ryker somehow used one arm to support my weight, damn vampire, my tongue recoiled from the thick blood filling my mouth. “No,” Ryker growled when I tried to jerk away. “I’m only buying time, little one. It’s this or death, I’m afraid. I know what you would choose, which is why I refuse to let you.”

  The first involuntary swallow, which my body welcomed while my mind rebelled, caused every nerve to cry in agony. The next heightened my pain, and a soft whimper escaped my throat. By the following one, I could no longer cling to consciousness, and everything darkened before oblivion wrapped around me with a throaty purr of welcome.

  Consequences

  With a gasp, I sat bolt upright while my body shuddered. Whimpering, I ran towards a dark rectangle, hoping it was a bathroom. In the dim light, my eyes made out a porcelain throne, which I fell to my knees in front of just in time to hurl. Gentle fingers pulled my hair back, and I shuddered while hurling violently. Once I finished, an arm wrapped around my waist to lift me to my feet. It remained to offer unwavering support, and someone led me to the sink. My eyes adjusted enough to make out a bottle of mouthwash.

  Before I could reach for it, another hand twisted the cap off and raised the bottle to my lips. Gratefully, I took a swig and rinsed my mouth to get the disgusting taste out of it. Which, from how iron coated my tongue, my guess was I threw up blood mixed with bile. In case you wondered, it tastes horrible. Washing my hands, I remembered what happened before Ryker forced me to pass out. I cupped my hands to gather water to clean my face, but the sink shut off and fingers wrapped around my upper arm.

  The sound of a curtain moving turned my blood cold, and I tried to jerk my arm free but needn’t have bothered since the hold was absolute. The water turned on a second later, and I trembled violently. No, no, no, I don’t want this. Still, I was pulled into the dark shower even though I struggled with everything I had. Before the water hit me, the sound of cloth tearing echoed in the stall, and what little I wore was gone. I believe I had on something similar to a shift and underwear, judging by how it felt. Now, the chilly air kissed my bare skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Still, that was preferable to what awaited.

  Shivering, I trembled violently when a gentle tug pulled me against warm skin. A whimper escaped my lips a second before the not quite hot water cascaded over us. “Easy, bunny,” Ryker whispered, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, which caused the tingles already plaguing me to increase. We were pressed together, thighs to chest, and I shuddered at the newness of touching a male body this way. Albeit, the warm tingles made it hard to stiffen or pull away, as did the arm pressed against the small of my back. Thankfully, he wore shorts or boxers or something. Otherwise, panic would have filled my soul. “I won’t hurt you, little one, but you desperately need a shower. Unfortunately, I am possessive and opportunistic, so here we are. Plus, you have not yet realized it, but your legs are weak, bunny, so you could not manage on your own. Sure, you could have a bath, but I would need to stay nearby since you might fall asleep and drown. Thus, this is the easiest option, albeit perhaps the most startling as well.”

  When I trembled with a soft cry of distress, Ryker chuckled. “You misunderstand, bunny, which I find adorable. As much as I would like to, I won’t do what you fear. I want a happy omega, not a traumatized one. Therefore, I shall hold you while you shower. Although, I insist on washing your hair as that’s beyond you even though you disagree. Trust me, bunny, you will be exhausted as it is from your mad dash to the toilet and the exertion cleaning your body requires.”

  Mutely, I stared at his dark form, which I could barely make out in the shower. I suppose he left the light off to quash my nerves, albeit it failed. I knew he could see me in perfect detail, and I couldn’t help but feel I was subpar. Here I was, naked before the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen when I was an ugly mutt in comparison. That I couldn’t see him did nothing to change that.

  “Angel,” Ryker’s voice lowered to a purr, and I shivered when his lips brushed my ear again. “You do not understand how much I desire to touch, nor how gorgeous you are. Your body is nothing to be ashamed of, and when one adds in your stunningly beautiful heart and soul, well, you are breathtaking. Now, we have stalled enough. If you do not begin washing, I will give in to temptation and do it myself. I’m trying to be a gentleman, but your beauty tests me in a way no one
else has.”

  I doubt that. But I didn’t want to be intimately touched by someone I didn’t know, so I hesitantly raised a hand. Blinking when soap was set on my palm, my cheeks burned while I tried to understand how this would work. Chuckling, Ryker nibbled my ear lobe before stepping back, although he kept his hands on my hips. Shuddering, I realized he could fully see me now, but ducked my head to wash as quickly as possible. By the time I finished, my hands shook so much I couldn’t hold the soap anymore. A soft whimper escaped my throat when it fell, and Ryker chuckled. “My aren’t you lucky this isn’t a prison, hmm?” The vampire lord teased wickedly in my ear. When I trembled with a soft sob, he pulled me tight to his chest once more while my body shook from fear and exhaustion. “Easy, Angel, I merely tease, hmm? I told you that you were too tired for your hair, however. So, I must ask something of you which you shall not like much.”

  Shuddering, I raised my gaze to meet the inky shadows I knew to be Ryker’s eyes, and he chuckled fondly. “Hold on tight, little one, lest you fall while I wash your hair,” he whispered in a voice that caused a shiver to race along my spine. It lit nerves I didn’t know I had, and I swallowed to bring moisture to my suddenly dry mouth. His tone was dark and velvety, full of dangerous promises that I longed to know. That desire burned through my veins, radiating from the nerves in my back. What would it feel like to receive a painless touch that I asked for? Ryker knew my back was sensitive, so would he use that against me in the best way?

  At the sound of his groan, I jerked my head to meet his shadowy gaze, only to tremble when the dim light gleamed off his fangs. “Little one, if you continue to beg so beautifully, I might give in and do what you silently plead for.” Belatedly, I realized I was pressed tight against his body of my volition and swallowed nervously. “Curious?” He asked in that same dark and velvety tone, which sent another shiver along my spine, and a dark laugh danced across my senses. “I shall find the strength to remain a gentleman because you are weak, tired, and scared. Thus, not in the right state of mind to consent. Now, let’s wash your hair so you may resume your much-needed rest.”

  Before I could protest or consider his words, Ryker reached behind him, and a soft click rang in my ears. A deep groan of appreciation escaped my throat when his strong fingers worked the sweet-smelling shampoo into my hair. God, it felt so good I feared I might melt into a pile of goo on the shower floor. “Ah, bunny, you are determined to push my control to its limits. Perhaps this is a much-needed lesson in restraint for both of us.” I didn’t care what he said, so long as his fingers continued their heavenly task.

  “My poor feral bunny,” Ryker murmured upon removing the showerhead, judging by the noise it made. I shivered under the cascade of water after he used his fingers underneath my chin to tilt my head back. While I trembled, he used his free hand to help get the soap out of my hair. After a few moments, I closed my eyes before resting my head against his bare chest. A dark chuckle teased my senses while Ryker’s fingers and the water got the rest of the shampoo out. A soft click preceded the water turning off, but I lacked the strength to move. “You’re radiating distress, little one,” Ryker sighed, “but your weakness is to be expected. You had a very near brush with death, and I cannot apologize enough for allowing it to happen. Still, we need to get you dry and back to bed, bunny, so you may recover. So much has happened in so little time.”

  Sighing, I tried to straighten, only to whimper when my legs shook. Tutting, Ryker wrapped a fluffy towel around my body before scooping me up. I knelt on a soft mattress seconds later while another towel gently dried my hair. “I know it’s hard, bunny, but I need you to hold yourself in this position so I can see to your hair, all right?” The teasing, dark tone was gone, leaving only worry and tenderness in the vampire’s voice while I tried to do as he asked.

  Once my hair was sufficiently dried, the towel around my body moved to chase every droplet of water that clung to my skin. I shivered, knowing Ryker saw everything I had to offer, but too exhausted to hide my body. A featherlight kiss on the side of my neck sent a shiver along my skin, another shot through my nerves because of the vibrations from Ryker’s lingering lips when he chuckled. Still, I felt his eyes caress my body once he raised his head, and I shuddered. Fingers under my chin raised my gaze until I stared at the shadows hiding the vampire’s eyes, albeit I felt his gaze like a physical touch. “Your body is beautiful, Angel. Your scars are a testament to your love for Matty and prove you are a strong omega,” Ryker praised. Dropping my eyes, I tried to pretend I didn’t feel tingles where our skin touched and swallowed nervously.

  A soft sigh reached my ears, and a light breeze warned that Ryker moved. By the time I finished shivering from the frosty air, Ryker guided my arms through straps, followed by my head through the space between them. A sigh shuddered from my lips once the vampire lord dropped the bunched fabric to allow it to fall to my knees. A tap to my thigh had me sit instead of kneel, albeit I swallowed nervously. Chuckling, Ryker guided my feet through a small piece of fabric, and tears filled my eyes. “I know,” Ryker whispered against my temple, “I know what nightmare terrifies you the most, Angel. I want you to understand that you need not fear it from me. No matter how badly you piss me off, rape is not a punishment you will receive. Not you. Some have, but never you, little one.”

  Even with his words, relief filled my soul when Ryker’s fingers tapped my upper thigh so he could settle the pair of underwear around my hips. It’s incredible how much more at ease I felt because of what was essentially a scrap of fabric. Chuckling indulgently, Ryker knelt behind me to gently brush my hair while I fought to keep my eyes open. What felt like seconds later, the vampire kissed my cheek and encouraged me to lie down. A breeze gently tugged my hair, and Ryker was beside me, pulling my head to his bare chest. I balked, and he chuckled before his fingers traced featherlight patterns on my back. A shiver caused my entire body to tremble, chasing away any resistance I had left. Thus, I snuggled closer to the vampire to give him better access. “That’s it,” Ryker murmured, sounding pleased. “You snuggle close, little one, and I will soothe you back to sleep. Rest is what you need because while your mind does not wish to admit it, your body was very close to shutting down, permanently.”

  I refused to focus on his words, allowing the wondrous feeling of his fingers on my back to overtake my thoughts instead. Soon, darkness shut down my mind, and I welcomed the release from trying to understand things I never imagined a few days ago.

  What felt like seconds later, my eyes fluttered open to find soft light filled the previously inky room. Ryker chuckled when I raised my head to sit up, and he met my gaze with a grin that caused my belly to flutter. My cheeks heating, I ducked my head but still saw him turn his from the corner of my eye. It surprised me to discover the vampire already dressed and sitting in a chair with a laptop beside him. Seconds later, small arms wrapped around my neck and I sighed while hugging Matty as tight as I could. “Are you all right, Angel?” The concern in his voice made my heart ache, but I tried to smile, regardless.

  “I believe so,” I answered honestly, meeting Matty’s gaze to find concern and love in his eyes.

  “Angel needs to take it easy for a few days, after which she needs to keep her nose clean for at least a few more. If she gets to the state she was in two days ago too soon, then I can no longer buy time and must commit to one path or another. Now is not the time to discuss it, but soon. Unfortunately, I have a trip I must take later today that I cannot postpone. So, Matty, you are to ensure Angel takes it easy,” Ryker declared in gentle tones.

  Immediately, Matty lit up like a Christmas tree, and my lips curled into a smile. Even though I wasn’t sure how to react to someone fawning, I would allow it because it would make Matty happy and feel important. Blinking when Ryker’s words sank in, I met his gaze while feeling shell-shocked, and he chuckled with a gentle smile. “Yes, little bunny, it’s been two days. You’ve slept most of them, other than your shower. My blood needed time t
o fix the damage wrought inside of you, and it was extensive.”

  Shaking my head, I wanted to ask him to explain but refrained after eyeing Matty. I didn’t want to worry him, and I noticed he was on the edge of falling into that abyss. With a sigh, I swallowed my questions before smiling reassuringly at my baby brother. Ruffling his hair, I laughed when he protested and hugged him. Matty’s arms wrapped so tight around my neck that tears burned my eyes when he shuddered because of how much I worried him. “I’m sorry, Matty,” I whispered past the painful lump in my throat. Matty’s arms tightened to the point it almost hurt, but I kissed the top of his head while hoping I didn’t upset him so much he didn’t sleep. When he leaned back, I sighed with relief upon finding no dark bruises under his eyes and smiled. I had a feeling Liam had something to do with that, for which I was grateful. While the vampire terrified me upon our first meeting, I was thankful he took to Matty like a duck to water.

  Ryker helped me stand and dress in some sweatpants and a sweater after I ate a small bowl of oatmeal. The vampire helped me walk around his spacious room a few times, saying I needed to build my strength. Matty observed us, his eyes refusing to leave me for more than a few seconds as if he feared I would collapse if he looked away. Poor sprout. Most of the day, I sat on Ryker’s bed, listening to Matty read from the books Liam brought him. I noticed the vampire ensured his charge ate and took the time to care for himself too, and I smiled. Eventually, Tyger entered Ryker’s room as well with a frown, and the vampire lord sighed with a rueful smile. Seconds later, my eyes widened, and I trembled while waiting for the approaching shifter with breathless anticipation.

  Arctic hugged me gently, and I nuzzled into his embrace with a soft sigh of relief. Ryker chuckled, instructing Arc to take his place to sleep beside me while he was away. He added that Tyger was responsible for Matty’s and my safety, while Snow was to indulge her mothering tendencies to her heart’s content. Rolling my eyes, I swallowed the feelings of abandonment that rose within me when Ryker announced he must go, but would return as soon as he could. I dropped my gaze after seeing the soft, unreadable expression on his face and blinked away the tears that filled my eyes. What did he do to me?