Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  While I shuddered, Marcus rubbed my back and made soft, sympathetic noises. Dakota knelt beside him, grabbing my hand to hold while I cried into Ryker’s shoulder. “At first, Jax avoided you like the plague. Said he couldn’t bear to see the child his sister died for. He knew he was an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. No one held it against him either, since his twin died. He stayed at my manor for a couple of weeks, at least until I said I was visiting Molly without him. So, reluctantly, Jax came along. As soon as he saw you, he melted, and you took to him like a duck to water. In you, he saw his sister’s legacy, and he kicked himself for every second he lost. After that, life returned to his eyes, and he doted on you. He’d promised Jazzy he would protect you before she died, but now he looked forward to the task. He reminded me of his toddler years when everything was exciting and a treat. Idiot. But, like all good things, it had to end. The same group of humans that robbed his sister of her life stumbled upon him. Realizing he was an omega when he fiercely protected the pups he watched in pack territory, they left him alone. However, after a heated argument between Evan and the organization’s leader, they chose Jax as the recipient of their displeasure. One, because they knew it would devastate the entire pack. Two, because they are unintelligent and cannot recognize that taking away the calming influence will lead to uncontrollable rage. Jax allowed them to kill him because that’s what the omega does when given a chance. They will sacrifice themselves to protect their pack. He also feared that if he didn’t let it happen, they might follow him to you. Hence, he made a deal with the witch, and I was the one to lead her to you. Which was for the best. Jaxy would never have been able to go through with it if he had to do it in person,” Ryker chuckled, albeit sorrow filled his voice.

  I couldn’t stop crying, although I tried. Dakota cried with me, pulling me from Ryker, who let me go, and his arms tightened. Movement caused me to tense, and I found myself pulled from my cousin to face Rex. “Despite what this monster Ryker mentioned may have tried to teach you to think, you are a gift. I understand where Jazzy’s head was. Her twin was an omega, she an alpha, so it only made sense her child might be an omega too. Her father’s pack would have demanded control of you, and she would have killed the alpha in retaliation. Jazzy did not like being bossed around. Even her father couldn’t do it, albeit I got away with it. See, I taught Jaz at a very young age that if she did what I asked, she got ice cream afterward. If it was something I needed to be done without ado, I bribed her with cookies. Pol could never figure out how I got her to do what I wanted, and Jax found it hilarious. I bought his silence with cookies as well,” he murmured with grief and happiness in his eyes. So that’s what Tyger meant when he said I came by my love of cookies honestly. No wonder he asked me to forget about it when he mentioned it.

  “Other than what you suffered once Molly died, they made the right choice. I wish they taught you about us,” Rex added with a sad sigh. “We would have protected you from the world and you would have had a safe place to grow up.” All I would have done is brought trouble here.

  “Jax told her all about you, and Pol and Shelly. But when he took her memories, those went with them,” Ryker explained mournfully. “By the time I discovered which hospital she went to, Angel and Matty were gone. I searched, but her monster covered her trail. He knew about you too, and it would kill his game if her family took her in. Angel would have been beyond his grasp, and he didn’t want that. By the time I found her, she was feral and living on the streets. While I wanted to take her in, I feared she wouldn’t tell me where she hid Matty. If I didn’t know and couldn’t find him, her monster would. Thus, Angel would blame me for her brother getting sold to some bastard on the black market. So, we watched but didn’t dare interfere unless the situation was dire. So Angel made sure her situation never got bad enough to invite us in, the brat.” Sorry for learning how to take care of myself. Albeit, sometimes it was Jax helping, although I didn’t realize that.

  “Some of that was my fault.” Speak of the devil. Rex and Jeanne looked surprised to hear him, their eyes moving to look behind me, and I sighed. Figures, he will let others see him, but not me. Or perhaps I cannot see? Are human eyes unable to spot ghosts? Or at least his?

  “I figured,” Ryker chuckled with a sad sigh. “Never could help yourself.” Ghostly laughter filled my ears, and I sighed. I still don’t understand why they hid me, not entirely. If her pack would have demanded control of me, couldn’t she have petitioned Jax’s pack? They already had an omega too, but since I would be related to him… No, that wouldn’t have worked because they didn’t know she existed.

  “So, I semi understand why they felt the need to hide Angel, but why didn’t you reveal her existence once Molly died?” Dakota asked in a voice on the edge of sounding angry. Biting my lip, I waited for the answer to that question too.

  “Because of what she is,” Ryker answered after a moment. When Dakota huffed, the vampire shook his head with a rueful smile. “I don’t mean that Angel is an omega, nor that I suspected her to be an empathy healer.” Marcus and Rex stiffened, which had me glancing between them curiously. There was more to that than I was aware, there had to be. Or was it something to do with the vampires? “I’m sure Arctic lost his temper and revealed himself as a shifter.”

  “Yes, what is that?” Dakota cut in with narrowed eyes and a slight sneer. “Tyger is one, as he proved to Kyler. While it would have been hilarious if he ate him, it raised a few questions. Why are they different animals? Why do they exist? And where do they come from?” Ryker sighed, looking almost miserable when his gaze met mine. Biting my lip, I resisted moving to comfort the vampire lord when his despair wrapped around my soul. I won’t like this, will I?

  “Shifters are a dirty secret,” Ryker chuckled, a smile tugging at his lips when I snorted my irritation. “What happens when a werewolf and a human have children?” Dakota furrowed his brow while Marcus looked uncomfortable, and Rex sighed. “You know there aren’t any halflings, because you’ve never heard of one, let alone met them. Hell, Angel is the first child you’ve met that you know comes from mixed parentage. Jeanne and Rex never had children of their own, and you have wondered why. The answer is that these children are born appearing to be human.”

  Dakota raised his head to meet first my gaze with alarm filling his eyes, then he stared at Ryker, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. “Yes, Dakota, there’s no such thing as a human omega. They are the offspring of a werewolf and a human. That is not rare, but the child being an omega is. Your elders, and council, know this, thus so do the alphas. However, they refuse to acknowledge it, because it’s easier,” Ryker explained with a touch of anger entering his eyes.

  “Well, that’s just bullshit,” Dakota snarled, and a smile tugged at my lips despite the severity of the topic. “Why the hell would they hide them?

  “They don’t hide them. Typically, any werewolf who mates with a human, or creates a child with one, tries to hide their offspring. Since they know they have never met a halfling, they don’t know what their child will be, so their instincts encourage them to hide the child. They don’t love them any less, usually, but they don’t know what their alphas will do, so they often let the human raise the pup alone. It hurts them, but they prefer that to the unknown. The reaction of the alpha depends on their personality. Some will give the child to us, while others will sell them. Either way, the child ends up in our clutches. Still, there a few who would let the little one live in their pack. I stumbled across Tyger, having followed the scent of death to find his mother dying of some sickness while he cried beside her. Because of his suppressed wolf blood, he did not catch what killed her. She begged me to take care of him, and I did. It was his idea when he became a shifter, I told him he could die a human if he preferred. I still don’t know who his father was, however. Snow was sold to me as an infant, by her wolf mother, no less. Whereas Arctic was a gift in his toddler years to inspire an amicable agreement,” Ryker explained with cold eyes.

/>   Swallowing nervously, I glanced around the room only to discover none of the adults could meet my eyes. Dakota’s brow was furrowed while grief and anger warred within him. “It takes a vampire to wake the wolf blood in a shifter. We do not understand why, but we take full advantage of it, as a species. Thus, shifters are forcibly turned and enslaved. We unlocked their potential. Therefore, they owe us their lives. I find it sickening and pathetic, but mine is not the popular opinion. Knowing this, I couldn’t alert you to Angel’s existence without knowing how your alpha would react. Because I know what a vampire would do if they stumbled upon Angel and you mutts didn’t protect her from them. That she is an omega would receive mixed responses, albeit most would enjoy having something you dogs covet. But that she is an empathy healer, and a shifter? Her life would be a nightmare,” Ryker’s voice was so cold I shivered. I have a feeling there’s more to the story than what he told me before. Tears spilled down my cheeks again due to Snow and Arctic being denied the love of their families. That wasn’t Ryker’s fault, but I was happy he was the one they were given to. Who knows what another vampire might have done?

  “See, werewolves can breed, which is something we vampires have always despised them over. Thus, vampires experiment with trying to have children, using the unwilling shifters. Both awakened and suppressed. So far, no child has made it to term. Something within the mother destroys the baby before it gets too far along. I suppose that’s the powers that be preventing vampires from breeding. However, an empathy healer and an omega to boot? No, a healer of a mother would save her child, especially since omegas love children more than anything. They would adore getting ahold of Angel. I know I implied they would try to understand your gift. I didn’t believe you were ready for the horror of the truth, little one,” Ryker murmured with sorrow pouring from him. Is that why he wants to be my mate? Shaking his head when I must have projected fear and distrust, he added, “no. What I fear you think, the answer is no. I want to be your mate because of what I told you when we met. As an alpha seeks an omega, so too do I. That you being my mate would offer you protection is a bonus. A child? Well, that would be a gift, yes, but something to avoid, I fear. I have no desire to force you into anything, nor to use you for the benefit of my species. The process I started that I cannot undo, is awakening you as a shifter.”

  My breath came in short pants while the enormity of that filed my mind. I would no longer be human, so what would I become? From their comments, I assume Tyger and Snow are bonded as Arctic and me, so would I be some kind of fox? Why are shifters different animals? I suppose a vampire having to free the suppressed blood explains why shifters are stronger than werewolves. They might be a little of both. Half-vampire, half-wolf? Or half-wolf, and a quarter of vampire and human? Trying to figure that out helped keep my mind from panicking over the fact that my only choice was to change or die. Why does a shifter die if they don’t change once a vampire begins the process, anyway?

  “Before you ask, I had a fake birth certificate created for you which reflected Molly and Peter as your parents so you wouldn’t question your parentage when you saw it. Since you weren’t born in a hospital, it wasn’t hard to procure. As for your father, I found him not too long ago. That’s what I could not miss the other day. A meeting I arranged with him so I could tell your father of your existence. He mourns what might have been with Jazzy since he knew there was something special there. It turns out, he tried to find her once the contract with his band was over. Alas, by that point, she was gone, and his search was in vain. He wants to meet you once you are ready. I believe your gift of empathy comes from him. While he isn’t an empathy healer, with a little digging, I discovered there were shifters in his family history. He’s human, so they bred only with humans until the wolf blood diluted into nothing. If a human and a shifter have offspring, the child is human. Whereas if a shifter and a werewolf have kids, they will have a werewolf pup. If two suppressed shifters breed, well, it can go either way. Either you get a human child or a werewolf. Same if one is awakened and one suppressed, although the odds for a werewolf go up. Vampires are incompatible as we discussed earlier,” Ryker sighed. “Now, you noticed what I left out, so I shall address that. Two awakened shifters may not breed. Why? Because their child will be a shifter. We have several geneticists who ran the numbers and experimented with their DNA. All conclude that a union between two wakened shifters will beget a fully awoken shifter cub. That’s something that, as vampires, we cannot allow. They would no longer need us. Thus we could no longer justify enslaving them to the werewolves who don’t care. If they become their own independent species, however, well, that changes everything.”

  I stared at the ground for several moments, my mind racing while I put that together. “Yes, Angel,” Ryker sighed, “one could argue that Arctic is your true mate. Fate chose the mutt, knowing it would be unlikely the two of you could be together. When a vampire witnesses the bond you share, they kill whichever shifter is less valuable. In this case, it would be Arctic. I’m not sure who they would pick between Snow and Tyger. Snow is more weaponized, but also could turn against you. Whereas Tyger’s ability is useful but less threatening. I left something out. A shifter breeding with another shifter is only viable if they share the bond you do. Otherwise, they cannot breed with one another. Fuck, yes. Often for the entertainment of the vampires who own them. But, for whatever reason, they cannot reproduce. I suppose that’s to prevent one shifter from impregnating another to get them killed. And to prevent vampires from breeding shifters to develop specific abilities. For example, a shifter with Snow’s mental capabilities but Arctic’s strength and speed would be quite the weapon. So, it appears to be more for their protection than anything. Plus, if you are a bonded pair, well, neither will abandon the other. It will hurt far too much. I’m sorry, little one, I know this information pains you. But that’s why I promised to provide you aid once it’s time to save the shifters. Whoever you choose as your mate will be the alpha of the community you shall create. Regardless of who you pick, I pledge my aid. Never doubt that. Once you finish saving them, there’s the wolf council to deal with as well. Then the humans who despise werewolves and find it amusing that their ‘half-breed’ children suffer as they do. If they realized what you were before you were born, they would have captured Jazzy to use you as a bargaining chip. Thus, the vampires would have gone to war with the werewolves at their behest. Yes, Angel, for the chance of a born vampire, my species would have decimated the wolves.”

  My eyes were unseeing while I stared at the ground to process this flood of information. No wonder Ryker didn’t want to tell me until he had to. A sob tore from my throat while chaos wrung my heart like a soaking shirt to remove the water. Only in this case, it took away my ability to fight the warring emotions trying to tear me apart. Anger at how shifters were treated filled my soul. Then pain because of the deaths surrounding my existence, followed by sadness because I never knew my birth mother, and finally a determination to fix this great wrong. A cough preceded my limbs growing heavy again, and I shuddered. If I make the choice, will the change be easier? Before Ryker explained it all, I would rather have died than become a shifter. However, now I had a cause. What did Ryker say the other day? Nothing is more dangerous than a teenager with a cause.

  When I met Ryker’s gaze, his eyes softened. “Yes, Angel, if you choose to become a shifter, the change is easier. I told you that before, remember?” Nodding, I bit my lip, at least until another cough shook my body. “You’re stressed. It’s no surprise your time is running out. However, I won’t decide for you. I’ve given you something to fight, so I am ever hopeful you will live so you may save those oppressed. I could try, but the shifters won’t trust me. Nor will they trust Tyger, Arctic, and Snow, since they aren’t collared. Yes, bunny, the shifters who are seen only as property wear obedience collars. They can’t stop a mentally gifted shifter from using their ability, but they can make it hurt when they do. Or, if they don’t when their owner demands i
t. Bah. However, an omega? Everyone knows an omega is incapable of deceit. The shifters may fight their instincts at first, but after being in your presence where you only try to help them heal emotionally and mentally, well, they shall come around. It will be dangerous, yes. Thus, Liam will protect Matty. And Matty’s secret is he met his grandmother’s previous people, although it was not his idea. The ones who belong to the same group as those who killed Jaz and Jax. The books you love to read would call them hunters. I call them a group of ignorant, racist pricks. They only care about humans, and not the ones tainted with wolf blood,” Ryker scoffed while my eyes narrowed. Anger surged from my soul, and I coughed again only to find blood on my palm. Well, shit.

  “It’s difficult to predict what animal a shifter will be,” Ryker continued as if I hadn’t coughed up blood, for which I was grateful. “The werewolf blood only makes them a shifter but doesn’t control the animal they become. I’ve seen birds, deer, rabbits, foxes, raccoons, reptiles, and even a seal. Once there was a bear too, but he was hard to control. The cheetah was my favorite outside my trio because he was a playful little shit. The vampire who claimed ownership of him, killed him when he refused to rape a younger shifter. I could do more than what I have, yes, but they would take my shifters the moment I lost. I am not so full of myself that I believe I would be undefeated, and either Tyger or Snow would die. The living Arctic would be abused. They would want to make up for lost time, too. So, I loathe to risk them.”