Jameson's Addiction

by Glenna Maynard

  When I enter the living room, he is sitting on the couch talking to my grandpa, making plans to go fishing. He doesn’t get to just swoop in out of nowhere and jump right back in like he never left. Fuck that. It isn’t fair to me—to any of us. Who does he think he is anyway?

  “You should invite Wes,” I suggest, giving my grandpa a gentle hug around the shoulders as I go to stand behind his chair.

  “Wes?” Jameson questions.

  “My fiancé.” I say, as his eyes narrow in on the rock that is weighing down my finger.

  Ruby Jane shoots me a dirty look. “Well, we need to get home. Lots of catching up to do.”

  “I’ll see you this weekend for my shower and girl’s night out.” I smile at the pair of them.

  The minute they are out the door, I haul ass to my room so I can fall apart in private.

  I’ve not really had a good cry over a boy since…well I skip right over that memory and think back on another one. One not quite as painful.

  Flashback

  “Hey, Fancy, are you crying?”

  I look around me, not seeing anyone in particular. There has only ever been one person to call me Fancy. A smile creeps across my face. Jameson. It’s been a while since I have seen him. He went back to live with his mom last year leaving me on my own. I figured that was the last I would ever see of him. I left for a while myself. I ended up going to live with my Dad and Barb. Her name makes me cringe. She is a total step-monster. My dad couldn’t handle our constant fighting and sent me back to my Nana.

  Barb couldn’t handle my obsession with death. She called me a freak. Her and my Dad got in this huge fight. My therapist says I have unresolved feelings over my mother dying while giving birth to me. I guess I feel guilty about it or something. I don’t know why I am so curious about dying. I just know I find it interesting. But maybe a part of his assessment is correct, I’ve always felt if it weren’t for my being born, my Dad never would’ve lost my Mom.

  “No.” I wipe the tears from my eyes, though I really was just crying. I am probably overreacting and being all emotional because last week I finally started my period. “Where’s Ruby Jane?”

  I smile instantly at the sight of Jameson talking to me. “Gone to her dad’s place for the summer. I think he is going to keep her permanently. My Mom has had a rough time of it lately again and sent Ruby Jane off. I am supposed to be working for my Uncle this summer. I’m cutting grass to save up to help out at home with the bills. Now you gonna tell me why you were cryin' or not?” He has cut his hair, I just noticed. Now it is short on the sides and still long on the top hanging in his eyes.

  “You'll laugh at me.” I know he will. It so stupid to get upset over a dumb boy, especially Josh Westmore.

  “Out with it, Fancy, do I need to go kicking someone’s ass.”

  “Language, Jameson, you are in the presence of a lady.” I laugh mocking horror on my face.

  “Who hurt my Fancy?” My eyes catch his when he says my. He thinks I am his Fancy. That makes me feel special.

  I fidget, debating how much I should tell him. My fingers are twisting anxiously in my lap. “No one worth mentioning. I was supposed to meet this guy here and he is always blowing me off for his friends.” So lame. I don’t know why I keep agreeing to hang with Josh…but I do.

  “He doesn't know what he’s missing, I’d much rather hang out with a pretty girl like you.”

  I blush.

  He called me pretty.

  Jameson thinks I’m pretty.

  “Still got your nose buried in books I see.”

  “Not always.”

  “Yeah, right.” He snorts, throwing his head back knowing he is right. He takes up the seat beside of me, smashing my paperback.

  “Hey, watch the book. You are going to ruin it.” I go to reach for it, but he stops me, grabbing my hand and holding it. I hope my palm isn’t sweaty.

  “My bad.” He pulls it out from under him. He snatches it away a few times, teasing me, before finally giving it back. He laughs finding amusement in torturing me with my book.

  “What’s this one about?” He motions to my paperback.

  “These two teens who both have cancer. The boy totally bites it after doing all this romantic stuff for her.”

  “That’s morbid. Which is probably why you like it, huh?” He shakes his head.

  “They made it into a movie, it will make you cry so you had better not watch it,” I tease him.

  “Hey, will you be around tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, why?” My eyes narrow on his, wondering what he’s up to.

  “Thought you might want to hangout or something. We could watch that movie and see if it makes a tough guy like me cry.” He rakes his fingers through his hair.

  “Okay. Cool.” I am so generic. I should make up something to do. Play it cool be unavailable and all that stuff that I see other girls do when they are trying to be flirty. I am starting to develop and lose some of my child-like features, but I still don’t look like the girls I go to school with. They all cake their faces in makeup. I never wear the stuff it itches me to death, and then if I sweat it gets all runny and ugly looking.

  “Well I just wanted to see how you are…I gotta go, the grass won’t mow itself. I’ll get up with you say around six. That’s when I get off work.”

  “Sounds good.” God, I hope I didn’t sound too eager. I like Jameson but I don’t think he sees me the way I see him when he looks at me. He probably is only asking because he hasn’t lived here in a year and doesn’t know anyone again.

  “Cool. I’ll see ya around, Fancy.”

  I think I might be glowing. I have a movie date with Jameson Lewis and he totally called me pretty.

  Suck on that Josh.

  Chapter 7

  Jameson

  Once we get outside, I drill my sister for answers. “What’s got you being all weird and why were you so cryptic when I called you for your birthday?” I throw my hands up for dramatic flair.

  She smiles and rolls her eyes. “Duh! Your girl is getting married and you need to stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life.”

  “No.” I back away shaking my head. “You are not dragging me into this BS. Seriously, Ruby. Peyton wants nothing to do with me. She’s getting married. Why would I get involved?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Because you love her, silly. Why else?”

  “Ruby.” I groan, walking down the sidewalk, staring at the daisies coming up through the broken fragments of the cement.

  I love my little sister, but she really overstepped her boundary this time. The little I was around Peyton just now, I can tell she hates me. And fuck if that doesn’t feel as if I’ve been stabbed in the chest. I deserve it though for how wrong I did her.

  My cell phone vibrates in my pocket.

  “Sup,” I answer Brayden’s call. I didn’t tell the guys about my meeting. I’m not sure how they will feel about me doing something on my own, outside of our band.

  “Dude, where the fuck are you? I’m at your place and the cops are here. That crazy bitch, Viola, broke in and trashed the place.”

  “Fuck. Can you handle it? I’m in Nashville.”

  “The fuck you doing there, man?”

  “Long story…family shit and there’s this meeting,” I say being vague. “Can you handle this or not?”

  “Yeah, I got you.”

  “Appreciate it.” I end the call and shove my phone in my pocket. I need another complication like I need a hole in my head.

  Viola is my ex-girlfriend. She’s a lingerie model for one of those expensive companies that sell a piece of lace smaller than my pinky toe for seventy-five bucks a pop. To say she didn’t handle our breakup well would be an understatement. I had to take out a restraining order, the chick doesn’t know the meaning of the words “we’re over.”

  Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful, but there was nothing between us outside of sex. And even the sex wasn’t all that great, little too bony for my lik
ing, half the time I felt as if she was stabbing me when we fucked. Not to mention our conflicting schedules. We only met because she was in my music video three months ago. It isn’t like we had some whirlwind courtship. She was hot and willing…so was I.

  We probably only saw each other six times total.

  I guess she was hoping I would marry her or boost her career. I’m sure once the tabloids hear of her break-in, she’ll get her extra fifteen minutes of fame.

  My first clue that she was using me came when she kept insisting that we go out to all the hot spots known to be crawling with paparazzi. I’m not into that whole scene. I just like making my music. The fact that people actually enjoy it and pay to hear me sing is the icing on the cake.

  “So, what are you going to do, big shot?” Ruby is grinning at me like a loon.

  “I’m going to spend some time with my meddling sister and family. Then, I am back on a plane to LA after my meeting if it sucks.”

  “You’re making a mistake. Don’t let her get away. You guys belong to together. If you leave…”

  “Well it’s what I’m good at.” I mess up her hair and jog back home, leaving her in my dust.

  Inside the house, I take a seat on the couch and click through the channels. I can hear Ruby and Thea in the kitchen talking about Peyton’s wedding.

  “You saw her, J, wasn’t she to die for?” My sister calls out, dragging me into the conversation. One I was hoping to avoid. I don’t want to talk about it. About Peyton and her damn wedding plans.

  “Yeah, I guess,” I lie, pretending to be disinterested. Truth is, Peyton in her wedding gown was stunning. I can’t get the image of her walking down the aisle out of my head. I always thought that one day I’d be the one to spend my life with her but that was before everything changed. Before I had a career.

  I don’t know if I’ll ever get married. Not with the way I travel. A life on the road kills a relationship. I’ve seen the guys go through too many breakups and divorces. Finn only sees his daughter every other weekend and that’s when we aren’t on tour or recording. It kills him, but Shayla is good about letting him have her when his schedule clears on days that aren’t his.

  I don’t want that kind of family life. Fuck, that’s a lie, I do want it, and I’ve always wanted it with Peyton, but obviously that’s never gonna happen now. Who the fuck is this Wes guy anyway?

  Brayden, that dude goes through more boxes of condoms than should be legal. One day some chick he doesn’t remember bagging is going to show up with a baby on her hip and her hand out. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already.

  The only one of us who semi has his shit together is Austin. He dated the same chick for two years before she gave him an ultimatum to either marry her or she was done. He let her go. Said she wasn’t the one. I continue flipping through the channels until Thea says that dinner’s ready.

  After dinner my sister plops down on the couch next to me and turns on a movie I swore I’d never watch again. I’ve not watched this movie since I was probably fifteen, with Peyton.

  Flashback

  I feel like a boiled lobster. My stupid ass forgot to put on sunblock, and I mowed four lawns without a shirt on before I noticed I was turning pink. Rodney will be all over my ass if I complain. He warned me. I didn’t listen. My head was too busy thinking about Peyton. I was hoping to see her when my Mom told me I was coming back for the summer. She is one of the only people around here I like to hang out with. She isn’t into being noticed and being fake. She is just my Fancy. The girls at my school are always getting in my face, sending me pics of them getting ready in their bathroom with their lips pouted out like a duck’s bill. They don’t get how stupid and ugly it makes them look.

  Looking at my phone I am half an hour late meeting up with Peyton. I didn’t even ask her where she wanted to meet. Stupid. I still want to know who made her cry. I wince trying to put another shirt on. I wasn’t about to attempt a shower. Hope she doesn’t mind me smelling like grass, but something tells me she won’t. My skin is hot to the touch, but I have chill bumps, hope I don’t have sun poisoning.

  I look out the window and see Josh, a boy from the next street over, and he is walking with Peyton. I don’t know why, but I don’t like it.

  “Yo,” I call from the porch. They are holding hands and laughing. My fists clench. Is he the one who made her cry?

  “Hey!” Peyton spins on her heel, her face lighting up seeing me. “There you are. I had given up on you.” She’s left him standing alone and it makes me happy. She looks different today. I guess I didn’t notice yesterday that she has gotten taller...her once chubby cheeks are more defined; she looks…like a girl. I mean I know she is a girl, but she appears more like a girl.

  “Got burnt.” I turn, showing her my back, trying to get over how much she has changed since the last time I lived here.

  She sucks in a hiss between her teeth. Josh is standing shoulder to shoulder with her when I turn back around.

  “What are you guys up to anyway?”

  “Nothing much, just walking around. My Nana and her friends are at bingo and my Pappy is off fishing at the lake. You should come to my house. My Nan has an aloe vera plant. She swears by it for burns.”

  Josh looks irritated. Does he like her? I don’t know why I care. At the end of summer, I’ll be out of here and back home so I can focus on my band. A couple of buddies of mine like to mess around, but I am hoping to get them to take it more seriously.

  I have a plan…focus on my band and get through school, then who knows. But I know I want to play professionally.

  It hurts my arms, but I nudge between the two of them and call over my shoulder, “Come on, Fancy.” She grins, and Josh rolls his eyes.

  We get to her house and she has me seated at the kitchen table rubbing cold aloe over my sunburn. “Nana cuts off one of the stalks and keeps it in the freezer for times such as these,” she explains softly as she rubs the goop in, being considerate of my pain. This stuff feels amazing.

  “You owe me a movie.” I remind her, and Josh pipes in.

  “What movie?”

  “Two teens with cancer,” she answers him, washing her hands in the sink. “Take these.” She places two white round pills in my palm and fixes me a glass of water.

  “That’s a chick flick. I’m not watching that shit. Karson Finster is having a party for freshmen. You wanna come with?” He looks to me, clearly excluding Peyton.

  “Nah, I am gonna hang with Fancy here and watch our movie.”

  “Whatever.” He stalks out the kitchen and bangs the front door hard when he leaves.

  “Don’t tell me, is he the no one worth mentioning?’ I raise my brow at her, and she shrugs.

  “Come on,” she tells me avoiding my question, tugging on my arm, making me get up.

  We end up in the living room. I am on my stomach on the couch and Peyton is sitting on the floor with her back pushed up against a pillow below the arm by my head. She keeps throwing her head back and catching popcorn in her mouth. I look around the room. The wall behind the TV is lined with Peyton’s school pictures. Appears as though her grandparents are proud of her. My Mom never buys my school pictures, always says she can’t afford them. She snaps a picture of me herself every school year.

  “You really like this depressing stuff?” This movie is seriously miserable.

  “Yup,” she says, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

  “You didn’t answer me earlier. Are you and Josh like a thing or something?” I shouldn’t press it, but I want to know.

  “Not really, we hang out sometimes, but not often.”

  “He’s a jerk and he’s too old for you.”

  She scrunches her nose in response, twisting so that she is resting on her knees close to my face. I can almost taste the butter on her lips. “He is fifteen and I will be fourteen in a few weeks. He’s the same age as you.” She lectures and taps my nose with her finger, smearing butter on me. “I will be a freshman. I j
ust don’t want to go to Karson’s party, she’s a total plastic bitch.”

  “Oh, I was thinking you were two years younger than me. But still — he’s a jerk.”

  “Same could be said for you. I waited a half hour at the park for you.” Her eyes narrow on me.

  “We aren’t talking about me though.” I sit up, wincing as I stretch. My back is still on fire.

  “Did you want to go to the party?”

  “No, my back is killing me.”

  “More aloe?” She gets up from the floor and places her empty bowl on the coffee table.

  “You mind?”

  “I think you just want me to rub on your back,” she teases.

  “Maybe if it didn’t feel like you are going to rip my skin off.”

  She sticks her tongue out at me, and then orders me back into the kitchen.

  “Anything cool happening this summer?” I ask, trying to get my mind off the pain from my sunburn.

  “Well there is this one thing I want to do, but I can’t find anyone to go with me. Fourth of July weekend is the ultimate horror fan experience. You rent a tent depending on the experience you want, but you try to survive the night camping like you are starring in your own scary movie.” I can feel her smile as she talks more about it. “It’s supposed to be amazing.’”

  “I would be down. But do you think your Nana and Pappy will allow you to go overnight for it?” I ask, as Peyton slathers more slime on my back.

  “It’s what I want for my birthday, so they will totally allow it if we can get a group.” She grins at me.

  “I’ll see what I can do. The guys in my band might come with. They just live in Murfreesboro.”

  “You didn’t tell me you are in a band!” Her eyes are wide. “So, what do you guys call yourselves?”

  “Nothing yet. We just mess around in my buddy Austin’s garage on the weekends.”

  “Are you guys practicing for battle of the bands?” She questions getting a stick of string cheese from the fridge after washing her hands.