Heartless King

by Hughes, Maya

  “They—”

  “Said they’d walk away from their multiyear, multimillion dollar contracts, if I didn’t give you a chance to keep your spot on the team. I’ll give you a shot at your spot, not your spot. Normally, I don’t take kindly to ultimatums, but damn if it isn’t four of my veteran starters. I’ve never seen it before in my thirty years of coaching. The damnedest thing. You’ve got some friends most people would kill for.”

  They’d all stood by me through more than I deserved.

  “They’re my family, Coach.” Pride in them and their willingness to sacrifice everything they’d worked on for me filled my voice. I’d never be able to repay them.

  He huffed. “You get one shot. Maybe you pull it off, maybe you don’t. Either way I get my winning team back.”

  “Thank you, Coach, you won’t be sorry.”

  His growl was my dismissal. I’d walked in ready to accept my fate, to stand there while he gave me my walking papers, but I’d been given a reprieve. A stay of execution.

  The hallway was empty. I jogged to the exit, throwing the stadium doors open. Only a few cars dotted the parking lot, but four figures stood beside Emmett’s SUV.

  “Anyone want to grab a beer? I’ve got plenty of beer at my place. Burgers too,” Declan said before anyone could say anything. “You coming, Colm?”

  I stopped short, my throat so tight I could barely breathe. When I nodded, he smiled. “Get in. We’ll come back for the cars later.”

  We piled into the SUV like the old days back in high school. Heath and Declan fought for the front seat next to Emmett. Ford and I got straight into the back, taking over the third row and half the second.

  Our drive over to Declan’s house was filled with old school music from our senior year and conversations about nothing. Their next game. A new recipe Avery was trying.

  “Is no one going to talk about how you all are the biggest bunch of boneheads? Threatening to walk for me? You’ve put everything into your hockey careers. What were you thinking?”

  “There are more important things than hockey. At this point, we have enough money.” Emmett looked at me in the rearview mirror. “All we have left are the people in our lives who make it worth living. You’ve worked your ass off to get back into shape to get back on the team. You deserved a shot.”

  “Life’s short. You know that better than anyone. We’ve got your back. We’ve been saying that from the beginning. And if you’d told us about your little ice fright, we’d have strapped you to the front of a Zamboni and gotten your ass out there, puke or not.”

  “It was my idea.” Heath grinned at me from the other side of the second row. “I ran the stats for the four of us and showed Coach that he couldn’t afford an entire collapse of his starting line.” Heath interlocked his fingers, cracking them in front of him. “We’re indispensable when we band together.”

  “I’m glad Imo called us or we wouldn’t have even known.” Emmett glanced into the rearview mirror. Our gazes met and he raised his eyebrow.

  Her name was a flare of hope. She’d called them. After how I’d treated her, she’d called them and made sure they’d be here for me.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell us?” He waved a hand behind his seat until it connected with my leg with a weak smack. “We could’ve headed this off before you got called down here.”

  “Imo called you?

  I’d thrown her out of my house. The mother of my child. No wonder she kept things from me and seemed so hesitant about letting me into her heart. The awful shit I’d said to her when I lashed out came back to me.

  I’d fucked this up beyond comprehension.

  34

  Imo

  The throbbing in my head had lasted since I’d left his house three days ago. And my new little passenger meant no ibuprofen for me. Talk about a kick in the teeth after the day I’d already had.

  Colm: We need to talk.

  A single text the night after he’d thrown me out. I’d been tempted to shut off my phone, but what if Fern or Charlie needed me? Instead, I’d blocked his number and vowed to message him back when looking at his name didn’t bring tears to my eyes. So far, no dice.

  The afternoon replayed through my head at least ten times a day. His anger—no his rage, directed squarely at me. It came from an even deeper and darker place than he’d been in the night I’d found him standing on top of a bar.

  He’d been blindsided by a fear he’d been wrestling with since I walked into his bedroom-turned-cave. My anger at him had transformed into a dull throb once the numbness wore off. I’d screwed things up. Why had I felt like I couldn’t tell him what Bailey said to me? Because I was afraid he’d react the way he had or because I didn’t trust that what we were doing was real? I’d never hesitated to tell Preston anything, but with him I wouldn’t have had to! He’d have...

  I tripped over that thought. A stutter step in my mind. Preston. We’d known each other for so long sometimes we didn’t need words to know what the other was thinking. There weren’t any secrets or surprises. We’d been together through every trial, every heartache, every celebration. Our lives had been so deeply intertwined it was hard to know where his experiences began and mine ended.

  But things were different now. I was different and so was Colm. The uncertainty of navigating a relationship with him had kept me even more guarded. What kind of relationship were we even building? I hadn’t really made space for Colm in my future either.

  I’d gotten that call from the Speedman Clinic, and they were fine with my salary request, maternity leave, and anything else I needed. It seemed not many people wanted to set up a new clinic in an area that was sleepy for nine months out of the year.

  Fern and Charlie needed me nearby. How would he deal with that? Would my relationship with them be a constant reminder of Preston until he couldn’t take it anymore and broke things off? What would happen when he found out I was moving? My decision wasn’t made and it was harder to imagine with each passing day, but this had been what I’d wanted and worked for since I started working as a physiotherapist. It also hadn’t escaped me that Fern and Charlie were getting older, and this practice could let me help them, too.

  No one had responded to my all-hands text to the Kings, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t dying to know what had happened, but they’d tell me when they figured things out. The hope that they could do something was a reach, for sure, but what other option had I had? Bailey hadn’t been able to do anything.

  All Colm’s hard work and he’d thought it wasn’t worth anything now.

  I’d dragged myself out of bed and into work, not nearly ready, but knowing it was better than sitting at home all alone.

  The day went by at a snail’s pace. I kept up my smile for my patients, giving them just as much encouragement as before, but more than one had asked me if I was okay.

  “Imogen, there’s a delivery for you.” Cecily walked in, peering around the corner toward the entrance.

  “Can you sign for it and I’ll pick it up when I’m finished with this file?” I took a bite of my sandwich, happy that at least my appetite had recovered in jean-splitting fashion.

  “You act like this happens every day.”

  “Please just sign for it.”

  She shook her head and left. A few minutes later, droplets of water splattered onto my file folder. A vase bursting with flowers plopped down right in front of me. They were roses, but not red ones. It wasn’t a lovers’ bouquet. It was bright and multicolored, with some shades I hadn’t even realized roses came in. Cecily leaned against the desk, whipping a small card back and forth against her palm. “Aren’t they gorgeous?”

  “They’re pretty.” And from Colm.

  “Don’t you want me to read the card?”

  “No, it’s okay. Just give it to me.” I didn’t need flowers from Colm. His guilty conscience must be nagging at him, telling him what he did was wrong. It was, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t right that we were better off apart.
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  “You’ve been holding out on me.”

  “I haven’t. Leave it here.” I tapped the empty spot on the desk beyond the roses bumping into my head.

  “Then who is sending you flowers?” She dangled the card in front of my face.

  “No one.”

  “So, no one called up a flower shop, gave them your name, wrote out this card, and paid for the delivery.”

  “Yes.” I grabbed for the card.

  She danced away from my grasping hands. “If it’s from no one, then that means you won’t mind if I read this card.”

  My chair shot back, banging into the desk behind me as I rushed after her.

  “Dear Imo, you deserve better.” Her broad smile dropped like a deflating cake. “C.” She looked from me back to the card. “Who is this?”

  I took her momentary distraction to snatch it out of her hand and stared at the writing. “No one. A friend.” The word tasted stale on my tongue.

  It was in his handwriting. He hadn’t placed the order online or over the phone. He’d sent these himself. I deserve better. Than what? How he’d treated me? How I’m living my life? Than how he’d reacted yesterday? My mind went into overdrive.

  The next day, I sat in the small break room at lunch, not wanting to hang in the cafeteria around so many people.

  Cecily nearly overshot the doorway. Her rubber soles squeaking on the linoleum floor, she grabbed onto the doorjamb to steady herself. “You have another delivery.” She was out of breath and a little sweaty.

  More flowers? My stomach went into a triple backflip. “Leave it at the desk, I’ll pick it up. And don’t touch the card.” I pointed an accusatory finger at her.

  “I think you’re going to have to come to it.”

  Eyeing her like I needed to keep a hold of my purse, I set down my pen and sandwich and followed her out from behind the desk. Before I made it to the door, the floral scent nearly overpowered me. Unsure I wanted to round the corner, I peeked and my jaw dropped.

  Vase upon vase of multicolored bouquets lined the hallway. Tears sprung to my eyes. Pinks, oranges, whites, creams, blues, reds and yellows. The entire space looked like a destination wedding locale rather than the overworked hallway to a physiotherapy center in need of serious renovations. No, it looked like a field of flowers, a bed so thick you could lie on it.

  Men in green jackets and hats walked in with even more roses, daisies, orchids, sunflowers, tulips, peonies, and others I couldn’t even name, setting them down on any gaps on the floor. One set walked out through the double doors and another set of men replaced them.

  “Someone’s been holding out on me.” Cecily tapped the card against her chin before holding it out for me. “A friend?”

  “Are you Imogen Walsh?” He read my name off the clipboard in his hand.

  “Yes.”

  “Can you sign here?” Sliding a pen from the top of the board, he handed it to me.

  Scribbling my name, I stared at the card still in my hand.

  “Open it.”

  I jumped, forgetting I had an audience.

  “Here you are pretending you don’t ever date and you’re elbow deep in insanely expensive floral arrangements from a mystery man.”

  My fingers shook as I slid the card out of the envelope.

  I’m sorry. More sorry than you could ever know. You deserve the best day every day. C

  Sorry about our night together? About the new connection between us? For how he’d lost it on me? Like it did whenever the smell of flowers was so strong, I remembered that day and how badly it started and how magical it had been by that night.

  “They’re from a friend.”

  “A friend who spent a few thousand dollars on flowers? I need more friends like that.” She crouched, sniffing the roses and not so slyly sliding a couple vases into the locker room.

  The complications of this back and forth between me and Colm was driving me crazy. What would happen when the baby arrived?

  Every patient that day got a beautiful bouquet. The guys took them home for their girlfriends or wives—hell, even for themselves. Who didn’t love a fresh flower arrangement? All the women were giddy about their physiotherapy parting gift and asked if it would be a normal thing. We let them know it was a one-time special treat from a generous donor.

  At the end of the day, I slammed my locker shut, the thought of facing my apartment alone knotting my stomach.

  The elevator rattled up to my floor and the doors opened. At the end of my hallway, a figure stood with his back against the wall and one knee bent with his foot propped up. If he’d been standing here for a long time that could aggravate his knee.

  Part of me wanted to jab my finger into the elevator button and leave, maybe never come back, but it wasn’t like I could run from him for long. I cupped my hand over my stomach.

  We had to figure out how we’d work together as co-parents and give this baby the best chance at a great life.

  He spotted me and my chance for escape evaporated. Pushing off the wall, he shoved his hands into his pockets, watching my approach. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I swallowed against the boulder in my throat.

  “How are you?”

  “I’m okay.” I fidgeted with the strap on my bag. “How are you?”

  “Honestly? I feel like shit. It’s hard for me to sleep.” He ran his fingers through his hair. There were heavy bags under his eyes. It looked like my Hail Mary to the Kings to help out with the situation hadn’t worked.

  “Once the new future without hockey settles into your brain, you’ll adapt. You did it before, you can do it again.”

  “You think this is about hockey?”

  I met his gaze.

  “Did you get my flowers?”

  “Yes. Thank you. It was a nice gesture, but—”

  “I didn’t think that would fix anything I did. Reverse anything I said.” He slammed his eyes shut before opening them. I could see the war going on inside him. The internal ass kicking had been going on for a while from the looks of it.

  “It was a thank you for being you. For calling the guys. For not letting me stop you from helping.” His eyes dropped.

  I’d gone back and forth on whether to let them know. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t have found out one way or another, but being vulnerable had never been Colm’s strong suit. He was the protector. He was the one looking out for others. I’d made my attempt and failed. I thought the guys might be able to get through to him.

  “You don’t have to thank me for that. I thought they’d want to know, and that maybe they could do something about it.” Helplessness at this awkwardness between us filled the space around us.

  “They did. They all said they’d walk.” He said it with awe in his voice. “In the middle of a season where we haven’t lost a game. With their million dollar contracts on the line, they said they’d leave it all behind if Coach didn’t give me my spot on the team.”

  My smile was automatic. “It worked?”

  “No. But the coach is letting me play my potential replacement for my spot.”

  He’d made it through his trial by fire and would at least get a chance to reclaim his position. “I’m glad they were there for you.” I turned away from him. “Thank you for stopping by.” One look over my shoulder was all I could risk.

  These feelings were too much and confusing at the same time. I shoved my key into the doorknob and turned the handle, moments away from my escape.

  “You scare me, Imo.” The soft words were spoken when I was a step over the threshold.

  35

  Colm

  “It’s hard for me to depend on other people. And outside of a small circle of people, it’s not easy for me to trust.”

  She nodded. “Everyone has a past that shapes who they are.”

  “Only, I don’t want that to define me anymore. I want to stop looking at what’s behind me and start looking at what’s in front of me.” She looked at me then, not in a shrewd or calculating
way, but probing, like she didn’t believe the realness of those words.

  “Colm, we don’t have to—”

  “What I said to you. Those words still ring in my ears. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I know it was wrong and it won’t happen again.” I didn’t shield or hide my pain. She needed to know I meant it and that I’d been up night after night since the door slammed behind her. “How I treated you.” I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “I’ve had a lot of regrets in my life, but that’s at the top of the list.”

  “You were upset.”

  “Stop being so understanding. If I’d heard someone else talk to you like I did, I’d have laid them out. Well, I’d have made sure I wasn’t wearing skates and both my feet were firmly planted on the ground, but I’d have knocked at least a few teeth loose. It shouldn’t have happened.”

  “I’m sorry I kept that from you. I didn’t even know how to say it. You’d just gotten onto the ice. You were so happy and then Bailey blurted that out and everything went sideways. I didn’t know how to fix it.”

  “You can’t fix everything, Imo.” I lifted my hand tentatively, giving her plenty of time to get out of the way.

  She let me cup her cheek, leaning into my touch. The fear clawing at my chest that I’d ruined what we’d been building ratcheted down to an angry scrape.

  “Trust me, I know.” She looked up at me with a mirthless smile. It reached deep down into my soul and ached for all she’d been through. I wished I could have protected her from the loss and harshness of the world, but it wasn’t like I’d been able to protect myself either. I could only hope to be a shield for her from any thieves of happiness she encountered in the future. If she let me.

  “Thank you for coming.” She pulled my hand from the side of her face and held it in hers. “It seems like it all worked out in the end.” A pat to the back of the hand. Was that it and she’d send me away?