Loving Raylynn

by C. R. Marcum

  “Now why would you do that huh? Doesn’t sound like my baby at all. Now you’re gonna be all wound up and I won’t be here to give you an outlet.” He said with a wink.

  “Shit, I didn’t even think of that. I guess I’ll just have to handle myself for the week. Sound good to you playboy?”

  “Only if I can facetime you when you do. I do not want to miss that.”

  “Can I go pour bleach in my ears? I do not need to hear that, and in case you forgot dumbass we are sharing a room.” Ty groaned.

  “Maybe Aspen will facetime you and show you what to do to her when you finally hit. I know you’re a little scared, but I promise Ty it doesn’t bite.” Jax said over his shoulder while Ty flipped him off.

  “Enough of that, Ty get packed. I’m gonna grab the guys and dinner and I’ll be back.” Drake called out before disappearing out the front door.

  “C’mon playboy, you need to give me a proper good-bye before the rest of the guys get home.” She said with a smirk before pulling away and making her way to their room.

  “Home or not doesn’t matter to me baby…I thought you knew that already.” He replied following her.

  “He’ll be home before you know it Ray. I’ll keep you comfy in that big ole bed if you need a cuddle buddy.” Lucas said wiggling his eyebrows as they watched the three of them leave.

  “I’ll tell you what Lucas, if I find you in my bed at any point, I will probably beat the hell outta you simply because I can.” She said shoving him backwards so that she could make her way into the house.

  “Why are you so mean to me Ray? I just wanna love you and you won’t let me.” He pouted as he flopped on the couch.

  “Awe Lukie pookie, you just need some love?” she asked flopping next to him.

  “Yeah, I’m so sad. You don’t love me at all. Not ever.” He said, poking his bottom lip out in a bad attempt at being cute.

  Raylynn took in his face and couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled from her.

  “You’re an idiot.” She said shoving him away from her. “c’mon let’s get the kitchen cleaned up.”

  “I say we go get ice cream and make Syn do it.”

  “Okay, so maybe you aren’t an idiot. Let’s go, I’ll drive. You text him.” She said making a beeline for the door.

  “That’s not cute Ray, he’ll tell me to fuck off!” he yelled chasing after her.

  She was giggling like a kid when Lucas made it in the car only a few seconds later.

  “Not cool bro, not cool. He’s gonna be pissed when he sees that we left.” He said breathless but smiling.

  “I know, but he’ll get over it.” She replied before throwing the car in reverse and turning the music up as loud as it could go.

  The last thing she saw before peeling out was Syn shaking his head and flipping her off.

  The morning sun was already streaming through the curtains making it impossible to continue sleeping, even though getting motivated was the last thing she wanted to do. She had been out late and had stayed up even later. What had started as a quick trip to get ice cream turned into Lucas meeting up with the two girls from Ty’s party and letting them join in for ice cream. She had excused herself not long after Lucas shared his love of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, but not on ice cream. He had promised that one of the girls would give him a ride and had also mentioned that she shouldn’t wait up. She had assumed that Syn would be up when she got there and that she would have to listen to him bitch over her quick getaway, instead she was greeted with silence and a note. It had taken far too long to get comfortable in the house alone. She had finally taken one of her sleeping meds to give her no choice but to submit to her exhaustion.

  “Ray you up?” Syn asked with a light knock.

  “No, I’m not. I am awake though.” She grumbled, pulling the blanket up to her chin.

  “Awake enough for coffee?” he asked with a chuckle.

  The promise of coffee had her sitting up.

  “I’m always ready for coffee, come on in.” she grumbled.

  Her door opened slowly, Syn carrying liquid gold in both hands.

  “You sir are my hero. They are gonna write poems about you one of these days ya know.” She almost moaned after taking her first sip.

  Syn had made himself comfortable on the end of her bed and watched her with a sad look. She couldn’t quite figure out why the look bothered her so much.

  “I doubt that Ray, maybe the villain but never the hero.” The sound of his voice broke her. He was usually so sure of himself, his confidence was only rivaled by Lucas’. Now though he sounded lost and defeated.

  “Don’t say stuff like that. You’re amazing. An asshole yes, but still amazing. You are a hero in my story, even when you piss me off.” She said looking at him through her lashes.

  She felt her face flush as soon as the words were out. He was staring at her like she had grown another head, and the embarrassment was all too real. His eyes roamed her body, and everywhere his gaze touched, her skin tingled. It was as if she could feel his eyes on her, and it only made her wonder what his hands would feel like.

  “Why Ray? Why am I a hero in your story?” He asked, his voice thick with and emotion he was trying to conceal.

  “Syn you are one of the strongest, most loyal people I have ever met. Seriously, you love your brother so much that you agree to stay with me so that I’m not alone. So that I’m safe. I know you would much rather be somewhere else with someone else, but because you love Jax here you are. A villain wouldn’t do that Syn.” She replied as she lifted her eyes to hold his gaze.

  “And do I? Make you feel…safe?” he asked, his eyes flicked to her lips.

  “As safe as someone like me can feel.” She all but whispered.

  She could feel his eyes on her, and the feeling made her core tighten. It was a familiar feeling, but it usually came at the hands of Jax. Somehow, the feeling was stronger in that moment than it had ever been. She could feel the heat creeping up her neck and coloring her cheeks, but she couldn’t pry her eyes off of Syn. The look in his eyes was more primal than Jax, but oh so sexy, and his breathing had changed. It was almost labored, and she could hear it in her breathing as well.

  “Ray, I need…” he started but was instantly cut off by the phone ringing. “Nevermind, you should answer that, it’s probably Jax.” He finished before excusing himself from the room.

  Raylynn could only watch him leave, taking the air in the room with him. She took a deep breath and answered the phone.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello sweetheart. I was just calling to check in and make sure we are still on for tonight.”

  Her relief was instant.

  “Of course Uncle Richard. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Good I’m so glad. Now is it just going to be you or will you be bringing a guest?”

  “Um, I’m not really sure. I planned on it just being me, but if Lucas is around he might insist on coming with.” She laughed at the thought.

  “That’s fine sweetie. Is Jaysyn home as well or did he go with his brother?” Richard asked without any sign of judgement.

  "Um, yeah he's home. I doubt he'd come with me though." she replied.

  "Alright well, I will see you at six. Love you sweetie."

  "Love you too. See you then."

  Syn

  'What the hell was I thinking? Stupid motherfucker! You can't go there with her, even if she wants you to. She is with your brother! He fuckin loves her and all you can think about is how fuckin sweet she would taste.' He thought to himself as he took his frustrations out on the heavy bag.

  He was drenched in sweat by the time Raylynn found him. She stood in the doorway wearing one of Jax’s t-shirts and the tightest shorts known to man. She had thrown her hair up in that I don’t give a fuck bun that had him wanting to grab it and show her just how much he wanted her. He was breathless, but he hoped she would think it was because of the workout and not because she constantly took his breath away. />
  “Syn, can we talk?” she asked in her usual don’t fuck with me tone.

  “I’m busy Ray. Go annoy the shit outta Lucas if you need too but leave me alone.” He said harshly as he wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt.

  “Really? So we’re back to this shit now. I thought we finally made some progress in our relationship but apparently I was mistaken.” She snapped, throwing an old towel at him.

  “We don’t have a relationship Raylynn! You are fuckin my brother and that’s it! What you thought that because I sit with you when you have a nightmare or that I agree to stay with you when Jax isn’t around that we had some kind of connection? You cant be that fuckin dumb.” He barked, all the while stalking towards her.

  He was close enough that he could hear her sharp intake of breath when he caged her in against the wall. Her scent was overwhelming, warm vanilla and orchids. It was intoxicating. His senses had completely taken over, and all rational thought had gone out the window. He closed his eyes and brought his lips close to her ear. He wanted nothing more than to lean in further and taste her skin. To feel her pulse racing against his lips. He could feel her warmth seeping into him and the way her breath hitched when he let out a long exhale against the shell of her ear.

  “Syn, what are you doing?” she almost moaned.

  “Listen close Ray, I can’t trust myself with you. The things I’ve thought about, dreamed about, they would ruin everything. You are a mistake I can’t afford to make. Do you understand that baby? Do you understand why I can’t touch you the way that Lucas and Ty can? Do you understand why I can’t sit in a room with you and my brother?” He whispered against her.

  “I…I…I’m so confused.” She replied quietly, her hands had found their way to Syn’s chest and her eyes met his.

  “Think about it Raylynn. How often have I asked you to put on clothes? How often have I been a dick for no real reason? Huh? I have to be that way, I want what Jax has.” He said solemnly as he cupped her face in his hands. “I want to be the one in your dreams. The one to make you feel good and trust me I could make you feel so fuckin good baby.”

  “Syn…I…we…I gotta go” she said hesitantly before pushing him away from her and running.

  “FUCK!” he yelled to the empty room before throwing his fist through the drywall.

  It only took five minutes before Lucas found him sitting against the wall.

  “Here man, thought you might need this.” Lucas said handing him a beer. “Now could you please tell me what in the actual fuck happened in here?” He asked as he seated himself on the bench.

  “Nothin man.”

  “Yeah, I tend to punch holes in walls for no reason too. I get it, but seriously what happened.”

  “I can’t do this shit right now Luke. I…I just can’t.” he replied hanging his head.

  “It’s Ray huh?” Lucas asked with a knowing grin.

  “What? No. It has nothing to do with her man.”

  “You really think we’re all blind huh? C’mon man we’ve all seen it. The way your eyes follow her around the room. The way you hang on every word she says. The way you haven’t got your dick wet in how long now?” Lucas replied with a chuckle. “Pretty sure Ray is the only one who doesn’t know how much you want her.”

  “Fuck me man, are you for real? Jax? Has he said anything?” He asked, leveling his gaze on Lucas.

  “Jax noticed weeks ago. He knows that you care about her. I’m not sure he knows how bad you wanna blow her back out, but he knows you care. He also knows that you wouldn’t hurt him like that.” Lucas said matter of factly.

  “What if I can’t stop myself? It’s getting harder and harder every fuckin day to keep away from her Luke.”

  “Bro, I get it. I mean, Ray isn’t really my type but that don’t mean I haven’t checked her out a time or two. She’s a bad bitch in every way. Hell, I don’t understand why she don’t see it, but regardless hurting Jax just so you can get a taste of Ray isn’t who you are. It’d be different if you were like in love with her or something.”

  “Yeah? How so? Cause the way I see it no matter what I do someone ends up fuckin hurt. Either I move the fuck out so I don’t have to see her everyday, so I don’t have to hear her with my brother; or I fuck up and hurt him by taking what I want. Either way, I fuckin lose.”

  “Have you talked to Ray about it? What does she want? She has a say too ya know.”

  “Ray loves Jax man, you know that. I’m just the dickhead brother that she has no choice but to deal with.” He replied with a half-hearted chuckle.

  “You’re a dumbass you know that. You’re just as fuckin blind as she is.” Lucas said as he stood and reached out a hand for Syn to grasp. “That girl is just as hung up on you as you are her. You don’t see what we do when we watch you two together. The constant bickering, the arguing, it’s y’alls version of foreplay. I honestly can’t believe you two haven’t fucked yet.” He finished as he pulled Syn to his feet.

  “You’re not fuckin helping this situation.”

  “Sorry, I guess. Look all I can say is talk to her. Let her know that you want her, but that you can’t hurt Jax like that and let the chips fall where they may. Either she makes it easier on you by being more mindful of how she makes you feel or she fucks your brains out, either way the truth is out there and no more secrets.”

  “When did you turn into the advice giver?” Syn asked with a grin.

  “Umm, about the time that you started taking your aggression out on the house. That shits not cool and Drake is gonna be pissed.”

  “Yeah, I need to fix that before they all get back.” he said as they both stared at the hole.

  “First I recommend a shower, you smell like shit.” Lucas said before leaving him alone in the room once again.

  Raylynn

  “I can’t believe he said that! Like he called you baby and everything. Jeez girl, you’re about to cause some family drama on an extreme level.” Aspen said before taking a sip of her coffee.

  “That’s the problem Aspen, I don’t want to cause drama. I just want to be with Jax and the guys and be happy. I don’t want to come between Jax and Syn, but I don’t want to lose them either.” She said dropping her head into her hands.

  “I mean, maybe you could have them both. There was this girl last year that had like four boyfriends or something crazy like that, and they were all cool with it. Like one day she came to school and had all four of them drooling after her, shit was crazy. I honestly don’t know how the girl could walk, but she managed it just fine. She couldn’t choose so they didn’t make her. It worked for them, maybe it could work for you.”

  “That can’t be true, guys usually aren’t into sharing. Besides, Jax and Syn are brothers Aspen, brothers. There is no way in hell either of them would be cool with something like that. Not to mention I’m not even sure I would want that.” She sighed. “I should just move back in with my uncle and hope that I can at least finish the school year before Katrina decides to boot me out the door.”

  “Ummm, fuck all of that mess. You are not going to move out of the house because Syn can’t look at you without his dick taking over. Jax doesn’t deserve that, and neither do you. It’s not your fault you’re so damn sexy. Syn will just have to get the fuck over it.” Aspen said bluntly.

  “Uggh…why does shit like this have to happen to me? Haven’t I dealt with enough bullshit in my life?” she grumbled. “I don’t know what to do Aspen. I can’t lie and say that I’m not attracted to Syn, but Jax is such a good guy and I don’t want to hurt him. I really do love him ya know.”

  “Look, things will work out the way they are supposed to, and no matter what I got your back.”

  “Thanks Aspen, I don’t know what the hell I would have done if you hadn’t been around to talk to.” She said with a small smile.

  “Yeah, well I’ll always be around. You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

  Raylynn let the comfort of Aspens friendship blanket and protect h
er from her inner turmoil. The truth was that if Syn would have kissed her, she wouldn’t have been able to say no. She wouldn’t have wanted to. She would have taken what he could give her and wouldn’t have thought twice. Just that truth alone made her feel like she had cheated. Jax deserved someone who could love him and only him. She was terrified that she didn’t fall into that category anymore.

  “So what are your plans for the rest of the day? Doin anything fun?” Aspen asked, pulling Raylynn from her thoughts.

  “Not really, having dinner at Paisley’s. Uncle Richard has some mail for me I guess.” She said with a grimace.

  “Oh shit, does Pais know you’re coming?”

  “I honestly don’t know. She hasn’t said a word since Ty’s party. I just want to get through dinner without her flippin shit again.”

  “You know, I wasn’t going to say anything, but she kicked me off the squad right before break. Told me that I wasn’t needed and that I was the reason cheerleaders have a bad name.”

  “I’m almost at a point where I just say fuck it and tell Uncle Richard what the hell is going on with her. I know she puts on a good front when he’s around, but he has to know that she isn’t okay. I am honestly afraid for her. What if she does something she can’t take back.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. Ty is worried too, he won’t come right out and say it but I know he cares a lot about her and this shit is eating him alive.”

  “Well, I’m glad he finally pulled his head outta his ass and gave you a chance. You guys are good together. You make him happy.”

  “Yeah well, obviously not happy enough. He still hasn’t put out, I’m kinda developing a complex.” Aspen said with a laugh.

  The girls fell into comfortable conversation and before either of them knew it they had talked for over four hours. Raylynn had never been one to have girlfriends, in fact Paisley was the only girl she willingly hung out with before Aspen made herself a permanent fixture in her life. She was thankful for that friendship now more than ever. The two parted ways with promises to talk later and Raylynn once again found herself alone. All she could do was crank up the music and head towards Paisley’s house. She would only be a few minutes early, and maybe she could talk to her uncle alone.