by Emma Easter
“You have to leave before anyone sees you,” she said harshly and looked back to make sure no one was around.
Reza said in a desperate voice, “Please, I just want to speak to her.” He put his palms together in a pleading gesture. “Please help me.”
Leila shook her head again.
“I am begging you. Please.”
“And I am begging you… please go now,” she said. She looked around again and prayed earnestly that none of the women came out to find the men here.
Neither of the men moved an inch and she glowered at them. “Why are you both still here? Please leave now! Right now!”
Her eyes widened in shock as Reza lowered himself before her and knelt on the sand. “Please,” he said, looking up at her.
She put her hand on her forehead in frustration. “What are you doing?” She stared incredulously at him. “Why are you kneeling down?”
“I am begging you to help me,” Reza said to her. “I just need to speak to the girl of my dreams. Please… just for a minute. It won’t take long. I promise.”
Leila stared down at him as he looked up at her. She sighed wearily. He looked so desperate and so earnest. What would it really hurt to get Sherifat for him? She shut her eyes briefly. This wasn’t right. She started to shake her head slowly, but Reza began to plead again.
Leila groaned and then said, “Okay… okay. Just stand up! I will get Sherifat for you. But please stay here.” She looked at the other man and then faced Reza again. “Please do not go farther into the camp. Do you hear me? Stay here. I will go and get her for you.”
Reza smiled widely and said, “Thank you so much. Thank you.” He stood up.
Leila went away, scolding herself for what she was about to do. Why on earth was she going to get Sherifat for that man? Still, she continued toward Miriam and Sherifat’s tent and smiled in self-derision. She knew why. In spite of the pain of her breakup with Malik and her vow to keep the women here away from the men’s camp, she still believed in love in the depths of her heart. As Zainah had accused her of some years ago, she was a hopeless romantic. Her breakup with Malik had buried all that, but now, seeing the beginnings of true love between two young people, that side of her had risen up again.
The whole camp was deathly quiet; everyone was still fast asleep. She knew what she was doing was wrong as she tiptoed into Miriam’s tent after leaving her lamp outside the tent. She knew the corner where Sherifat slept. Even though the tent was pitch dark, she had been in here many times, especially since Sherifat had arrived and become Miriam’s personal assistant and sole tentmate.
Leila’s heart drummed as she bent down and tapped Sherifat’s arm, and she prayed earnestly in her heart that Miriam would not wake up.
Sherifat grunted but continued to sleep.
Leila groaned inwardly and tapped Sherifat’s arm again. She whispered, “Sherifat! Wake up!”
“Leila!” Sherifat said. “What are you…?”
“Shhh! Come with me,” Leila whispered.
“Why?” Sherifat muttered.
“Just come! I have something to show you.”
Leila tiptoed out of the tent, hoping Sherifat would follow behind. When she was outside the tent, Sherifat stumbled out as well, and Leila sighed in relief. She picked up her lamp and walked back to the spot she’d left the men.
“Where are we going?” Sherifat asked drowsily, following Leila.
“You’ll see,” Leila answered.
They rounded a tent and Sherifat stopped when she noticed the men. She turned to Leila and said, in a voice heavy with disbelief, “That man… at the men’s camp… He’s here, Leila. How come he’s here?”
“He came because of you,” Leila sighed. “And apparently the other one came because of me.”
Sherifat ran forward to meet Reza and Leila thinned her lips. The one called Abdul was staring at her, but she turned away and avoided his gaze. She focused on Sherifat and Reza. A smile tugged on her lips as she watched them. They looked like long lost lovers who had been separated for a long time and were finally reunited again, rather than strangers who had only met once before.
Reza reached out and slowly took Sherifat’s hands. They looked into each other’s eyes and for some time, neither of them said anything. Finally, Reza spoke. “Since you came to our camp that day, I have not been able to stop thinking about you.”
Sherifat said, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you, either.”
Leila’s heart ached as she watched them, though it was a sweet ache. Love was blooming right before her eyes and, as much as she fought all of this, she couldn’t help feeling a sense of joy. And yet she also felt despondent. She yearned for the love she had once had and lost. Sherifat and Reza walked hand in hand some distance away from the camp, whispering to each other.
Leila kept watching them and then started when someone touched her arm lightly. Turning around, she saw it was the other man, Abdul. She had completely forgotten about him. “What is it?” she asked, slightly irritated.
He told her he had also been thinking about her since the day she came to the camp. She wanted to tell him that, unfortunately, she had not given him a thought, which would be true, but he sounded so earnest that she said nothing.
After he had told her he was interested in pursuing a relationship with her, she said, “I thought you men were not supposed to have anything to do with women.”
“It’s not a law for us. We are not bound to anything,” he said. “It’s just that many of us left the world to avoid all distractions, which included women. Many of us have a past of living in sin and we left all that behind to focus on God. That doesn’t mean we cannot pursue a relationship that will lead to marriage if we want. It is just not encouraged.”
“That was not what I heard from your leader and from one of my friends who has been in your camp,” she said. “From what I heard, you all are supposed to be totally sworn off relationships with women.” She really wasn’t interested in him or this conversation, but she didn’t want to be rude.
He insisted that as much as what she said was true, there was no law in the camp that actually forbade them from getting married if they found someone. As long as their intended was a sister in Christ.
“But as you said, relationships and marriages are not encouraged, are they?”
He didn’t respond.
She was over this conversation. She shook her head and said, “I am sorry. I am just not interested in a romantic relationship.” And it was true. She wasn’t interested in being with anyone except for Malik. But she and Malik were no more. For all she knew, he was probably married now. He had been really eager to get a mother for his daughter; someone who would take care of the little girl while he was at work and be a mother to her. There was no way he would still be single now. And even if he were, they could not find their way back to each other, especially since he had refused to consider giving his heart to Jesus.
She felt Abdul’s eyes on her and remembered once again that he was standing beside her. She looked at him and he said, “Won’t you at least consider what I am asking?”
She smiled weakly. “I’m sorry. I don’t want a relationship, and I certainly don’t want to get married.”
He didn’t say anything for a long moment and then he nodded. “Okay. I understand.”
Leila looked at Sherifat and Reza again. They were way too close to each other now, almost about to kiss. From the way they were looking at each other, she wouldn’t be surprised if in a few moments, they actually did. She had to put an end to it all.
Still, she did not move an inch as she watched them. They seemed so enthralled by each other that she did not want to break up their moment together. When Reza cupped Sherifat’s face with his hands and stared at her lips, she knew it was time to separate them. Quickly marching up to them, she put herself between them and pulled Sherifat away. “Enough!” she said.
Sherifat followed Leila reluctantly while still looking back.
“I will come back to see you,” Reza called out.
Leila groaned. What have I done? This will not end well. Who knew if he would come back with more men next time? Now that this Reza and Abdul knew there was a camp full of women, they would tell the other men at their camp. It would be way too difficult for the young men, even those who were dedicated to Christ, to resist a camp full of young women who looked like Sherifat. Soon, the young men would swoop down on this camp like Reza had done, looking for brides… and God knew what else.
Lord, please don’t let that happen. She turned and shook her head at Reza. “Please do not return.”
He did not say anything.
She looked at Abdul and he gave her an anxious smile. She turned around again and groaned when Sherifat pulled her hand away and began to walk back to Reza.
“Sherifat, come back!” Leila called. She quickly went and grabbed Sherifat’s hand again. She shooed the men away and Reza said, “I will come back, Sherifat!”
He and Abdul jogged away and Leila watched them until they disappeared from sight.
Sherifat gave a long sigh. “I cannot wait to see him again,” she said wistfully.
“You shouldn’t see him again, Sherifat,” Leila said.
“Why not?”
“I told you what would happen if more of the women in this camp found out about the men’s camp, and vice versa.”
“But would it be so bad if that happened, Leila?” Sherifat asked. “Would it be so bad if we mixed; if some of the women here decided to marry some of the men?”
Leila did not answer. She had already explained her concerns to Sherifat. The girl was blinded by her budding love. Nothing Leila said would make any difference.
Sherifat left Leila and went back to Miriam’s tent. When she entered, Leila turned around and walked back to her own tent.
Lying on her sleeping rug, Leila turned and tossed. She had just opened Pandora’s Box by getting Sherifat for Reza and allowing them to fall even deeper for each other. She thought about what Sherifat had said. What was she really afraid of? Was she scared that if more of the women here began to fall in love with the men, she would feel left out because she knew she could not love anyone except for Malik?
“No!” she whispered fiercely in the darkness. That wasn’t why. She was concerned because this place would be totally different if all that happened. It would not be the haven it now was. Women who were persecuted from all over came here to find solace from the world. That peace would be lost if it was overrun with men.
Are you sure of that? a small voice in her head asked.
She sighed. She was not sure of anything anymore. Maybe tomorrow, she would ask Zainah about it.
She struggled to fall asleep for a long time, and then thankfully, after what seemed like an eternity, sleep came.
The next day, after the morning prayers and breakfast, she went to Zainah’s tent. She was relieved to find that Zainah was alone in the tent, which was an unusual occurrence. Zainah and Faizan were mostly together, except when Faizan had chores to do for the whole camp.
Zainah smiled widely as Leila entered and sat beside her on the sleeping rug. Pillows surrounded Zainah and she had her hand on her huge tummy. “This baby has been so active these past few days,” Zainah said to Leila. “She keeps kicking me.”
Leila smiled in spite of herself. “How do you know the baby is a ‘she’?”
“I don’t know. I said that because I am hoping it’s a girl. But if it’s a boy, that will be great as well.”
“Where is Faizan?” Leila asked.
“He went to town with Miriam right after breakfast. He has to make preparations for the arrival of his sisters and brothers-in-law in a few days’ time.”
Leila lifted her brows. “I thought only his sisters were coming. Where will his brothers-in-law stay?”
“At the men’s camp,” Zainah said. “Faizan asked them if his brothers-in-law could stay there and they agreed.”
Leila groaned. The men’s camp again! She looked at Zainah and said, “Speaking of the men’s camp, do you know what happened?”
“What?” Zainah turned to look quizzically at her.
“Two men came here.”
“What? When?” Zainah’s eyes grew as round as saucers. “No, they did not!” she exclaimed.
“Yes… yes, they did. In the middle of the night.”
“What did they want?” Zainah asked, her eyes still round.
“One of them, a young man named Reza, was looking for Sherifat.”
“Reza… Reza… I think I know him,” Zainah said. “The day Faizan and I went to the men’s camp, I saw him. I know he was one of the men we saw because Faizan told me his name after he went to the camp on his own.” Zainah frowned. “He came here looking for Sherifat? How come?”
“You remember I told you about the day Miriam, Sherifat, and I went to the men’s camp?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well, Sherifat and Reza apparently made a connection that day. He came looking for her and I think they are falling in love, even though they hardly know each other. I can see it in their eyes.”
“You seem dismayed by that,” Zainah said. “What’s the harm?”
“You know what the harm is. Think of the implications.”
Zainah sighed loudly. “Not again, Leila. I don’t want to argue with you about all that. I don’t think we will ever see eye-to-eye on this matter.”
Leila pressed her lips together and said, “Zainah, it’s why I came to talk to you. I still miss Malik terribly. After two years, I still haven’t gotten over him. I think about him every day. I am beginning to think that the pain caused by my breakup is coloring the way I see this whole thing about the men’s camp. I am not sure if I am trying to protect the hearts of the women here, or if I’m being selfish.”
Zainah gave her a sympathetic smile. “I understand how you feel, Leila. Remember the time after Faizan left this camp, before I finally decided to go find him? I felt the same way you do now. I thought love was too difficult, too heartbreaking. I didn’t want anyone to go through the same thing. Remember all I told you at the time?”
Leila smiled sadly. “Yes, I remember.”
“I think in spite of what happened with you and Malik, you should still open your heart to love. Who knows, you might meet someone . . .” she grinned. “…in that men’s camp.”
Leila pursed her lips and said, “Speaking of that, the other man that came with Reza told me he came to see me. He said he had not stopped thinking about me since the day we came to the camp. The thing is… I’m not interested in him, not when I am still in love with Malik.”
Zainah nodded. “I understand. Do you want to know what I think?”
“Yes,” Leila said. “That’s why I came here to see you.”
“I think you should either decide to go back and find Malik again since you still love him or give this new man a chance; see where it goes with him.”
Leila closed her eyes and for a long moment, said nothing. Finally, she opened her eyes and said sadly, “There’s a huge chance that Malik is married now. Even if he isn’t, he might still not want to accept the Lord, and I cannot be with him unless he does. Besides, I certainly don’t want him to convert just because of me. It would not be real.”
“I know,” Zainah said. “I was hoping you would come to that conclusion yourself. So you know what the other option is.”
Leila sighed softly. “I should consider moving on with this other man.”
Zainah nodded. “Yes, I think you should.”
Leila bit her bottom lip and said, “I guess you are right. If I still want to have children of my own, I need to open my heart once more to finding love. And if not love, at least a husband who I can have a child with.” She smiled again in spite of herself. “I’m not getting any younger.” She looked at Zainah’s belly and sighed. “Who knows? If it works out for me with that man, I might be as heavily pregnant as you are soon.”
> “Yes,” Zainah grinned. “Our children will be like siblings. That would be wonderful.”
Leila nodded, but the thought of marrying Abdul was as appealing to her as eating stones. She wanted what Zainah had; not a part of it, but everything. Not just a child, but a husband that she loved. And the only man who had her heart, the only man she had ever loved, was Malik. She wanted to marry Malik and have children with him. Unfortunately, she could not.
Zainah put her arm around Leila’s shoulders. “Just give it time, Leila. You might come to discover one day that you have found love again.”
“I hope so,” Leila said.
“It will happen for you, Leila,” Zainah told her. “I am sure of it.”
Leila smiled but she was not so sure it would. Still, she listened as Zainah told her with great excitement about her expectations once she had her baby and imagined herself sharing her excitement about having her own child one day. But she could not fathom having a baby with anyone other than Malik.
As she listened to Zainah, she prayed desperately in her heart that the Lord would take away her love for Malik. Then she could start a new relationship and have her dreams of starting a family of her own come true.
She knew what she would do in order to make that dream happen. When Reza returned to the camp, she would tell him to inform Abdul that she was ready to give him a chance, if he was still interested in her.
Chapter Thirteen
Malik opened the door of the taxi he had hired to Nira and got out. He paid the driver and brought out his suitcase from the trunk of the taxi. When the driver drove away, Malik carried his suitcase to the front of his father’s house and knocked on the gate.
He waited, hoping his father would not be the one who opened the gate. Karim Keita was the last person he wanted to see. It was impossible for him not to see his father now he was in Nira, but he preferred to see everyone else first—Fanta, Khadija, his mother and other siblings, before his father.
He had come straight here rather than go to his house because he could not wait to see Fanta, and it was also imperative that he speak to Khadija right away.