Enough

by A L Williams

  She leaned her hip against the vanity. “It will hurt quite a bit at first, especially if his cock proportionate to how tall and big you said he is.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek, remembering the feel of his cock sliding against mine. Yeah, he was not small. He was quite a bit bigger than me. My ass clenched. Would I even be able to take it?

  She smirked. “Based on your face I’m assuming he’s large.”

  I swallowed. “Just take it slow. You two are exploring new territory together. Nothing has to be decided until you’re both ready.”

  I smiled. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  She turned and went back to cleaning up her mess as my mind drifted back to our hard kiss against the wall. I wanted him. I wanted him inside me. That much was clear, but I didn’t know how to ask or even when would be the right time. I exhaled and stood.

  Just take it slow.

  ▽

  I walked through the doors into the pub. Nothing had changed, but the atmosphere was quite different than during the day. An assortment of eighties music filled the dimmed space, mingling with the loud banter of college students. I weaved through tables with couples leaning into each other, whispering into their partners' ears.

  I scanned the room and my eyes landed on a man I was sure was Ra. As many times as I had stared at his body, I knew.

  He looked up and a smile spread across his face confirming my assumption. I made my way to the table and he stood. He stepped closer than stopped. I returned the smile, sensing the increased awkwardness. Neither of us knew what we were doing. That fact calmed my nerves—a little.

  “Hey,” I said, walking over and eyeing the tight jeans and polo. How did the man look good in everything he wore?

  I fought the urge to adjust and moved to the chair across from his. He returned to his seat as I dropped into the chair. “How was your day?” I asked.

  “It was long.”

  “How is Izzy?”

  Ra visibly tensed.

  “Forget it. Let’s not talk about her.” I rushed.

  He smiled wearily.

  “She was drunk, wasn’t she?” I asked.

  He nodded.

  I sighed and then reached across the table and settled my hand over his. “For tonight let’s just focus on the here and now. Brooding over her will do no good.” I squeezed his hand and he met my gaze, “All right.” He waved and a moment later a man walked over, dressed in a pair of jeans torn at the knees. I glanced up at him, meeting the bluest eyes I had ever seen.

  He smiled; his teeth far too white. “Hey.”

  I shifted in my seat and looked away, finding Ra glaring daggers at the man. “Liam, are you going to take our order?” Ra said with the hint of a growl. I leaned forward with my elbows on the table, covering my mouth with my hand to hide my smile as warmth spread through my chest.

  “Sure, what do you want?” Liam asked.

  “A Caesar salad if you have one.” I said.

  Liam nodded and looked at Ra. “A burger for you, I assume?”

  “Yeah,” he said, waving the guy away.

  Once Liam walked away Ra relaxed. “You know eating burgers all the time is bad for you. You should eat more veggies.” I said.

  Ra shrugged. “I work out.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not worried about you getting fat.”

  Ra smiled, his eyes twinkling. “Is there anything else, doctor?”

  I shuddered at the purr of the word. “No. That’s all.”

  When our food came, we ate. “So, you’re going to med school?”

  I swallowed the food in my mouth. “Yeah. To be a pediatrician.”

  “How many years do you have left?”

  “I have my RN license, but I need another three years after this one.”

  His rows rose. “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-eight.”

  He looked aside.

  I cocked my head. “Is that a problem? How old are you?” I asked, realizing I didn’t know.

  “Forty. Is that okay?

  My cock perked—apparently I liked older men.

  “No. We’re both adults.”

  He nodded. “So, you’ll be here for a while?” He asked, offering a shy smile.

  “Yeah.”

  “What are your plans after?”

  “I’m not sure. I moved here with only finishing school in mind. I don’t really know beyond that.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “Seattle.”

  “It rains a lot there. That must be a big change.”

  I chuckled.”Yeah, the moment I got off the plane it was like swallowing sand.”

  Ra laughed, the sound rolling over me and warming my chest.

  I smirked. “How about you tell me about yourself. I know you grew up in a group home, but it seems like you’re doing well now.” He and Izzy had a house that looked like it had been expensive. What do you do for a living?”

  “I work in construction.”

  Ah, no wonder you have such a nice body.

  His eyebrows rose. “You think I have a nice body?”

  I tensed. “Did I say that out loud?” My face warmed as he nodded. I poked out my lip as he watched me with amusement. He was enjoying my fumbling far too much.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Obviously. You’re built like a God.” I clamped my mouth shut feeling more and more like an idiot. I was sure my face was as red as a tomato by now and I was grateful for the dimmed lights

  His smile grew wider and I glared at him.

  “Okay, okay. Sorry. I’m not making fun of you I promise.”

  “Sure.”

  “No, really.” He leaned back, rubbing his head. “I guess I—I like that you think I look good.” He looked aside.

  I smiled. How could a man be so sexy and adorable at the same time? “So, is construction something you’ve always wanted to do?”

  “No. I wanted to be an astronaut,” he said with a sigh. “The dreams of a child.”

  “It’s not a bad dream.”

  He shrugged. “I like my job. It pays the bills and it has afforded me and Izzy a good life.”

  I nodded. I could understand that. Stability had always been important in our household. “If you could go back and do it again, would you?”

  He didn’t respond right away. “It doesn’t matter.” I frowned, feeling the change in the atmosphere.

  I leaned in closer. “Okay, now that we’ve asked about each other's future. What other stupid date questions can we ask?”

  He eyed me curiously.

  I continued. “Is a hot dog a sandwich?”

  He snorted and even though he was shaking his head he smiled.

  “Is cereal soup?”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose, but his lips were twitching.

  I was having far too much fun. “Do you have your toilet paper over or under?”

  He shook his head. “Really?”

  “What? These are serious questions.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Under.”

  I gasped, feigning shock. “That is barbaric.”

  He smirked wolfishly. “What can I say? I’m a bad boy.”

  I licked my lips, ignoring my cock as it decided to remind me of how much I wanted him. He leaned in, his cologne filling my nose. He gestured for me to come closer and I complied. I shivered as his lips brushed my ear. “Pineapple on pizza, Yay or nay?”

  I tilted my head up to meet his heated gaze. “Nay,” I whispered.

  “I don’t think we can continue this date,” he replied playfully.

  Need shot through me the longer he lingered near.

  Suddenly, he jerked back, and I looked around, finding Liam at my side. I peered at Ra who was gulping down water, not making eye contact with either of us. I clenched my hands in my lap.

  “Hey. Barbara is trying to call you,” Liam said.

  “My phone is off,” Ra replied.

  Liam crossed his arms over his chest. “Well,
she seems pretty irritated. You might want to come back to the kitchen or you won't hear the end of it.”

  Ra turned to me. “I’m sorry. I have to—”

  I waved him off. “It’s fine. It might be an emergency. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  He nodded and stood, walking past Liam towards the kitchen.

  Before I could blink, Liam slipped into Ra’s chair. I looked at him as he inspected me. “I’ve never seen you before. I didn’t even know Ra was into guys.”

  I opened my mouth to respond but closed it. Based on Ra’s skittishness every time someone was near us, I was pretty sure he wasn’t telling anyone anything. “We’re just having dinner.”

  Liam arched a brow. “This looks cozier than just a friendly dinner.”

  I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “What? You’ve never seen two friends eat dinner? You might want to evaluate your friendships.”At that point I knew I was being rude, but this guy had no business asking me questions, especially with Ra gone.

  “Woah, chill. I was just wondering.”

  “Well, it’s none of your business.”

  “Whatever this is with Ra I’m glad he’s talking to people other than Isabel. He’s so far up her ass I’m surprised his head isn’t covered in shit.”

  I chuckled. I couldn’t have agreed more. I still cared for her, but I couldn’t ignore the co-dependency between them the more time I was around.

  “Just be careful. I’ve seen these types of situations end badly.” He jumped to his feet and sauntered away without another word.

  I bit my lip, looking down at the table bathed in shadow, Liam’s words echoing in my mind.

  …These types of situations end badly.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Rashawn

  “Boy, why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Barbara said through the receiver.

  I winced. “I’m sorry, I was busy.”The room was dark, but once my eyes adjusted I looked around at the office. It was just large enough to hold a heavy desk with an ancient computer and potted plants standing in each corner.

  “What could you possibly be doing that has you so busy?”

  I shifted and her gleeful chuckle drifted through the phone. “Are you with Dex right now?” she asked.

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Besides the fact that Liam told me you came in with someone, you never avoid my call, so something has to be going on.”

  I sat halfway on the desk, running my fingers along the aged wood grain.

  “So, how’s it going?”

  “It’s…all right.” I said. That didn’t cover or explain how good it was at all. My chest was still tingling from the laughter and kind words that had passed between us. Dex was amazing in every way I could have imagined. We were barely scratching the surface of getting to know each other, but something told me the rest would be even better. I wanted to know him. All of him. Inside and out. Most of all I wanted to touch him.

  “All right? Really? You can do better than that,” Barbara said.

  “It’s nice.” I tried again. I wasn’t great at expressing my feelings and she knew it, but even so she always pushed.

  She sighed and I could imagine her rolling her eyes. “That’s better, I guess.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date with your husband?”

  “Yeah. We are. I was just checking up on you.”

  My chest tightened. She was worried. She was always worried about me. “I’m fine.”

  “Is she still drinking?”

  I tensed but didn’t respond.

  “Was she drunk when you left?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Come over after your date. You can sleep in our guest room. ”

  I couldn’t count how many times I had escaped to their house when Izzy was especially difficult to deal with, but it had been so often that the guest room was pretty much mine. Barbara had even kept some of my clothes neatly folded in the dresser

  “That is unless you’re going to his house,” She continued.

  I tensed instantly when I realized all of what she had said. “We’re not—I’m not—.” My face grew warm as the memory of the night before came back to me.

  “Calm down. I’m just saying. I wouldn’t blame you,” she said, her voice brimming with amusement.

  She couldn’t know. There was no way. I was being ridiculous and knew it, but I narrowed my eyes anyway. “We’re not.”

  “Okay, okay, whatever. Just do me a favor and have fun. Don’t worry about that girl right now or anyone else for that matter. Just enjoy your time with him. You’ve been through so much and sacrificed everything. It’s your turn to be happy.”

  “Okay. I’ll try.”

  “Good. Now I have to go. Larry is giving me his sex eyes and you know what that means.”

  I grimaced and shuddered. “Come on. I don’t want to know anything about Larry’s eyes especially if it involves sex.”

  Her laughter echoed through my mind after we ended the call. I shook my head, hanging up the phone and pushing off the desk.

  Exiting the office, I made my way back to Dex and froze at the kitchen door, eyeing Liam. He leaned in close to Dex, his eyes focused and determined. I bristled at the heated look Liam was giving Dex and I balled my hands. I stormed out of the kitchen, ignoring the heads that snapped up at the bang of the doors against the wall.

  Before I got to the table, Liam jumped to his feet and sauntered towards me. He stopped at my side. “Calm yourself. He only wants you.”

  I blinked and an instant later Liam was gone. He walked around the bar and returned to flirting with a man. That man was so strange. He hadn’t worked at the pub for long, but when Larry hired him, he flirted with me immediately without so much as a ‘are you straight’. I frowned and turned back to the table. Dex was picking at his food. I moved towards him, wondering if Liam had known all along?

  I shoved that thought away as I took my seat. Dex looked at me and a smile spread across his face. “Is everything all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Barbara was just checking up on me.”

  “She must really care for you.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, when Izzy and I aged out of the system, I had to find a job and it is extremely hard to get a job as an eighteen-year-old black kid. Hell, going into stores without the cashier looking at me suspiciously is a rarity even now.”

  Dex’s eyes flashed. “That’s ridiculous. People still do that?”

  I laughed; I knew he was honestly surprised, but it still amused me how much white people didn't notice. Of course, why would they? They didn’t carry a generational racial stigma that went back even before slavery. That was their privilege, even if they never asked for it. “Being a black man isn’t easy. Especially in Texas.”

  Dex slumped and didn’t respond. I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He looked at it. “I feel like I should say something, but what can I say. I’m sorry sounds cheap.”

  I smirked. “You don’t have to say anything. Your expression says enough. The world is a much better place than it was when I was a kid.” I squeezed his hand. His concern and discomfort warmed my heart and the fact that he didn’t regurgitate white guilt made me like him even more.

  “Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay?”

  He looked at me and nodded. We changed to lighter subjects. Going back and forth about whether Star Wars or Star Trek was better. I liked both equally, but I ruffled his feathers for a moment when I found out he was passionate about Star Wars. It wasn’t until I told him I liked both did he stop his rant.

  The night stretched and only once did my mind drift to Izzy, wondering if she had passed out drunk on the couch.

  ▽

  When we walked through the courtyard of Dex’s apartment a cat rushed by and jumped through the space of the tall iron fence surrounding the complex. Wood chips rolled along the cement path as we passed a deserted playground with equipment that stood awkwardly bright along
the terracotta buildings around.

  When we reached a staircase we walked up the steps creaking with each step. I licked my lips following Dex up. My cock came alive in response to the flex of his ass in his jeans. I looked away.

  When we reached the top, he made his way to a door at the end of the balcony, pulling his keys from his pocket. He stopped and turned, opening his mouth to speak. I moved closer, my eyes dropping to his mouth as his tongue moistened his bottom lip. “Uh...I had a good time,” he said, watching me cautiously not retreating.

  I took another step, unable to stop my body. “Me, too.” The sound of traffic and whistling wind faded to the back of my mind as I halted in front of him. I looked down, searching his eyes for any sign of rejection and found none. I ducked slowly, allowing him time to pull away. He met me in the middle and our mouths met in a clash of teeth, swallowing the moans we were unable to hold back.

  A dog barked in the distance and I yanked my lips from his, taking a step back. My skin was hot and my breathing was hard. I stared at him, his eyes wide and mirroring the lust coursing through my veins.

  “I—I’m sorry,” I said.

  He smirked, his cheeks flushed. “It’s all right. We should probably not do that out in the open. I don’t think my neighbors would appreciate it.”

  “Probably not,” I replied, with a soft nervous laugh.

  Dex’s eyes went hard and he watched me, a question shimmering in his eyes. I shifted, waiting for the rejection I knew was coming. I was stupid to think that this was anything other than an experiment. I mean did I really want to get involved with a man?

  Could I?

  “What is this?” Dex asked, yanking me from my thoughts.

  “What?”

  “What are we doing? Is this…” he trailed off, pulling his lip between his teeth.

  I moved closer and reached out, pulling it loose. “You really shouldn’t do that. You’ll make yourself bleed.”

  His eyes gleamed, the hazel hue shimmering gold. “Yes, doctor,” he said, mocking my earlier words.

  I leaned in and kissed him again, this time gentle, putting as much of what I was feeling into it. I pulled back. “I don’t know what this is. It’s confusing and I am definitely not ready to be...out.” I furrowed my brow, those words far to...final. “I don’t know where this is going, but…” Moving in closer I leaned my forehead against his and he closed his eyes, humming.