Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious

by Richard Marsh

  Returning a Verdict

  It was in the country, at the last Quarter Sessions, a case of theft.James Bailey, in the employ of Samuel Nichols, a fishmonger, wascharged with stealing certain trusses of hay and bushels of corn. Thejury had retired to consider their verdict.

  "Of course," observed the foreman, who had seated himself at the headof the table, "we've only come out here as a matter of form. There'sno doubt that the young scamp did it."

  William Baker, leaning towards him, shading his hand with his mouth,whispered, with the evident intention of addressing him in strictestconfidence, "I say guilty!"

  Some of the jurymen were standing about the room talking to oneanother audibly on subjects which had not the slightest connectionwith the case they were supposed to be considering.

  "What I want," said Slater, the butcher of Offley, to old GeorgeParkes of Wormald's Farm, "is a calf--a nice one--just about prime."

  With his heavy hand old Parkes nursed his stubbly chin.

  "Ah!" he reflected. "I haven't got nothing, not just now, I haven't.Might have in about a month."

  Slater shook his head. "Must have it Friday."

  "Ah!" Mr. Parkes paused. "I haven't got nothing." Paused again. "Imight have, though."

  A. B. Timmins, secretary of the local branch of the Primrose League,was calling across the room to Mr. Hisgard, a well-known amateurvocalist, with a view of retaining his services for an approaching"smoker." The foreman looked about him. He raised his voice, rapped onthe table.

  "Gentlemen, please--business!" Somebody laughed, as if the foreman hadbeen guilty of a joke--so he improved on it. "Business first, pleasureafterwards." The laugher held his peace--the joke fell flat. The juryseated themselves--not with any air of over-anxious haste. The foremancontinued--he was one of the most flourishing auctioneers in thatdivision of the county--and now spoke with that half persuasive, halfauthoritative manner with which many of them were familiar in therostrum. "We must remember, gentlemen, that the court is waiting. So,with your permission, we will come to the point at once. Those who areof opinion that the prisoner is guilty will please hold up theirhands." Seven hands went up. "Those who are of the contrary opinion."One hand was raised--Jacob Longsett's. Mr. Grice, the foreman, eyedthe three gentlemen who had made no sign on either occasion. Headdressed himself to one of them, "Well, Mr. Tyler, which is it tobe?"

  "The fact is, Mr. Grice," said Mr. Tyler, "that I've had a badearache--it was the draught which must have given it me. I think Ididn't quite catch all that was being said now and again; but I'mwilling to say what the other gentlemen do!"

  "You mean that you'll vote with the majority?"

  "That's just what I do mean, Mr. Grice."

  "I ain't going to say nothing," declared George Parkes, who had alsorefrained from expressing an opinion. "I don't know no good aboutyoung Bailey, nor yet about Sam Nichols neither. Sam Nichols, he'sowed me nigh on four pound these three years and more."

  "I don't think," observed the foreman, "that we ought to allowpersonal considerations to enter into the case. It's our duty to speakto the evidence, and to that only."

  "I don't care nothing about no evidence. The one's as big a thief ast'other."

  Old George clenched his toothless jaws and blinked.

  "What'll he get if we bring him in guilty?" asked Mr. Plummer, thethird abstainer.

  The foreman shook his head. "That oughtn't to influence our decision."

  Mr. Plummer differed, and said so.

  "It'll influence mine. James Bailey is not yet eighteen. To send himto prison will do him more harm than good. If his case is to comeunder the First Offenders Act, we shall know where we are."

  "We might make a recommendation to that effect," suggested CaptainRudd.

  "Excuse me," interposed Mr. Moss, "but I doubt if I could agree to ourdoing that. I'm afraid that Master Bailey deserves some punishment.This is not the first time he has done this sort of thing. He wasdismissed from his last two places for dishonesty."

  Again the foreman shook his head.

  "That didn't come out in the evidence. You know, gentlemen, what wehave to do is to dismiss from our minds any knowledge of the partieswhich we may have outside the case, and confine our attention to thesworn testimony."

  Mr. Moss smiled, declining to be pooh-poohed.

  "That's all very well in theory, Mr. Grice, but in practice it won'tdo. Nichols, with his fish-cart, has done a daily round in thiscountry of some twenty miles or so for the last twelve or fourteenyears. I doubt if there is a person in this room who has not someknowledge of him. As for Bailey, his mother lives within a hundredyards of my house; I have known him ever since he was born. I amacquainted, too, with his last two employers, and with thecircumstances under which he left them."

  "I know nothing of either of the parties," said Captain Rudd.

  "You are a new-comer. I doubt, as I say, if any other person presentcan say the same."

  If any other person could, he didn't. There was a pause--broken by theforeman.

  "Let us understand our position. Eight of us say guilty--Mr. Tylergoes with the majority; two of us have not yet made up our minds; andMr. Longsett is the only one who says not guilty. May I inquire, Mr.Longsett, on what grounds you favour an acquittal?"

  "You've no right to ask me anything of the kind. This is not the firstjury I've served on. Although you're foreman, you're only like therest of us. What you've got to do is to ask me if I say guilty or notguilty. I say not guilty.

  "I believe, Mr. Longsett," insinuated Mr. Moss, "that Bailey is arelation of yours?"

  "That's no business of yours."

  "Then are we to understand, Mr. Longsett"--the foreman spoke withalmost ominous suavity--"that you have arrived at a point at which youare impervious to argument?"

  "I say not guilty."

  "Even though it may be demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt thatthe prisoner is guilty?"

  "It's no good talking to me, Mr. Grice. I say not guilty."

  The foreman, stretching out his hands in front of him, looked roundthe table with an air which was eloquent with deprecation. Old Parkesbanged his fist upon the board.

  "And I say guilty, and I hope they'll give him seven years--thethieving varmint!"

  "Arrived at a state of sudden conviction--eh, George?"

  This was Mr. Timmins, who was middle-aged and jaunty.

  "Some people are easily convinced," growled Mr. Longsett.

  "You're not one of that sort, are you, Jacob?"

  This again was Mr. Timmins.

  "You won't convince me."

  Nor, judging from the expression of Jacob's visage, did there seem tobe much probability of their being able to do anything of the kind.There was another interval of silence--broken this time by CaptainRudd.

  "Then because this gentleman chooses to differ from us, withoutcondescending to give us his reason for so doing, are we to stultifyourselves, and is justice to be baulked? Is that the situation, Mr.Foreman?"

  "Excuse me, Captain Rudd, but Mr. Longsett is not alone. I also saynot guilty. The observation of Mr. Parkes, expressing a hope that theprisoner will get seven years, shows to me that a spirit of malignancyis in the air, and to that spirit I am unable to subscribe."

  The speaker was Mr. Plummer. The others looked at him. The foremanspoke.

  "Pardon me, Mr. Plummer, but why do you say not guilty?"

  "Because I decline to be a participator in the condemnation of thismere youth to a ruthless term of penal servitude."

  "But, my dear sir, he won't get penal servitude--Mr. Parkes was onlyjoking. He'll get, at the outside, three months."

  "That would be too much. It would be sufficient punishment for one ofhis years--my views on the subject of juvenile delinquency I havenever disguised--that he should be requested to come up for judgmentwhen called upon."

  "But, my dear sir, if the magistrates leave us a free hand to do ourduty, why can't we leave them a free hand to do theirs?
The issue wehave to decide upon is a very simple one; the responsibility of actingon that decision will be theirs."

  Mr. Plummer settled his spectacles on his nose and was silent. CaptainRudd addressed him.

  "I suppose you will not deny, sir, that all the evidence goes to provethe prisoner's guilt?"

  "There are degrees in guilt."

  "Possibly--but you admit that there is guilt, even though it may onlybe in the positive degree?"

  Again Mr. Plummer was still. Mr. Slater called to Mr. Longsett acrossthe table:

  "You're a sportsman, Jacob, and I'm a sportsman. I tell you what I'lldo. I'll toss you, guilty or not guilty. I can't stop messing abouthere all day--I've got my beasts to dress."

  Mr. Longsett was obviously tempted; the offer appealed to the mostsusceptible part of him. Still, he shook his head.

  "No," he grunted, as if the necessity of announcing such a refusalpained him. "I shan't."

  Mr. Plummer was scandalised.

  "Such a proposal is disgraceful--it ought not to be allowed to bemade. Making of justice a mockery!"

  Mr. Slater declined to be snubbed--at least by Mr. Plummer.

  "Seems to me as if you don't quite know where you are. First you wantto preach to the magistrates, then you want to preach to the jury;perhaps you think you're at the corner of High Street?"

  There were those who smiled. The reference was to Mr. Plummer'sfondness for open-air expositions of "the Word." Mr. Grice drummedwith his fingers on the table.

  "Come, gentlemen, come! we're wasting time. As business men we oughtto know its value. Now, Mr. Longsett, I've too much faith in yourintegrity not to know that you're open to conviction. Tell us, wheredo you think the evidence for the prosecution is not sufficientlystrong?" Mr. Longsett did not justify the foreman's faith byanswering. "Be frank, on what point are you not satisfied?"

  After more than momentary hesitation Mr. Longsett replied, without,however, raising his eyes.

  "It's no use talking to me, Mr. Grice, so that's all about it. I saynot guilty!"

  Mr. Moss explained.

  "The plain fact is, Mr. Foreman, Mr. Longsett is a relation of theprisoner; he ought not to have been on this jury at all."

  This time Mr. Longsett did raise his eyes--and his voice too.

  "I've as much right to be on the jury as you have--perhaps more. Whodo you think you are? I pay my way--and I pay my servants too! Theydon't have to county-court me before they can get their wages. Onlythe other day I was on a jury when they were county-courting you. Soit isn't the first jury I've been on, you see."

  Mr. Moss did not seem pleased. The allusion was to a difference whichthat gentleman had had with one of his servants, and which had beensettled in the county court. Again the foreman drummed upon the board.

  "Order, gentlemen, order!"

  Mr. Timmins turned to Mr. Hisgard. He winked.

  "Have a game at crib, Bob? I knew Jacob would be here, so I cameprovided!"

  He produced a cribbage-board. Once more the foreman interposed.

  "Keep to the business we have in hand, please, gentlemen."

  "Oh, they can have their game, I don't mind. Perhaps I came as wellprovided as anyone else."

  As he replied Jacob took from his pocket a brown paper parcel ofconsiderable dimensions. Tom Elliott, who was sitting by him,instantly snatching it, passed it on to Mr. Hisgard.

  "Have a sandwich, Mr. Hisgard?"

  "No, thank you. But perhaps Mr. Timmins will?"

  He passed the packet to Mr. Timmins. That gentleman made a feint ofopening it. Mr. Longsett, rising from his chair, reached for hisproperty across the table.

  "None of that; give it back to me." Mr. Timmins tossed the packet tothe other end of the table.

  "Now, Timmins, what do you mean by that? Do you want me to wipe youacross the head?"

  Mr. Timmins addressed Mr. Grice. "Now, Mr. Foreman, won't you offerthe jury a sandwich each? It is about our dinner-time."

  Mr. Grice eyed the packet in front of him as if he were more than halfdisposed to act on the suggestion.

  "I really don't think, Mr. Longsett, that you ought to eat sandwichesout of a pure spirit of contradiction."

  "Never mind what you think; you give me back my property, or I'll givethe whole lot of you in custody." The parcel was restored to him. Hebrandished it aloft. "There you are, you see, a lot of grown men goand steal another man's property, and you treat it as a joke. A merelad goes and looks at a truss of mouldy hay, and you want to ruin himfor life. And you call that justice! You ain't going to get me to takea hand in no such justice, so I tell you straight!"

  "It went a little farther than 'looks,' didn't it, Mr. Longsett?'Looks' won't carry even mouldy hay three miles across country."

  "And 'looks' won't carry my property from where I'm sitting down towhere you are! If Jim Bailey's a thief, so's Tom Elliott--there's nogetting over that. Why ain't we sitting on him instead of on thatthere young 'un?"

  "See here, Jacob." Mr. Timmins stretched out towards him his openpalm. "Here's a sporting offer for you: if you'll bring Jim Bailey inguilty, I'll bring in Tom Elliott!"

  "I won't bring in neither; the one's no more a thief than the other."

  "Nice for you, Tom, eh?"

  "Oh, I don't mind. I know Jacob. It's not the first time a member ofyour family's been in trouble, is it, Jacob?"

  "By----! if you say that again I'll knock the life right out of you!"

  The foreman rapped upon the table.

  "Order, gentlemen, order! Keep to the business in hand, if youplease."

  Mr. Longsett confronted him, towering over Elliott, with clenchedfists and flashing eyes.

  "Keep him in order then--don't keep on at me! You make him keep acivil tongue in his head, or I will." He glared round the board. "Idon't care for the whole damned lot of you. I'm as good as any one ofyou--perhaps better! I'm here to do my duty according to my conscienceand conviction, and I'm going to do it, and I say not guilty, and ifwe stop here till Christmas you won't make me say no different!"

  This announcement was followed by an interval of silence; then CaptainRudd attempted to voice the sense of the meeting.

  "In that case, Mr. Foreman, we may as well intimate to the court thatwe are unable to agree."

  "What'll be the consequence of that?"

  "The prisoner'll have to stand another trial, when, should none of hisrelations happen to be upon the jury, there will be no hesitationabout bringing in a verdict of guilty--in which case the young scampwill get his deserts."

  Stretching his body across the table, Jacob shook his clenched fist inthe speaker's face.

  "Look here, Captain Rudd, you may be a captain, but you're no bloominggentleman, or you wouldn't talk like that. Captain or no captain, thenext time you say anything about Jim Bailey being a relation of mineI'll crack you in the mouth!" Straightening himself, Jacob shook hisfist at the eleven. "And I say the same to every one of you. It's noaffair of yours what Jim Bailey is to me--so just you mind it."

  The captain curled, at the same time, his lip and his moustache, hisbearing conveying the scorn which he doubtless felt.

  "If you suppose, sir, that I shall allow you to play the common bullywith impunity, you are mistaken. You forget yourself, my man!"

  "Oh, no! I don't forget myself--it's you who forgot yourself. And asfor playing the common bully, it's you began it. You're trying tobully me when you taunt me with Jim Bailey being my relation; youthink if you keep it on long enough you'll frighten me into actingagainst my sense of duty."

  The foreman intervened sharply: "Order! Mr. Longsett, your language isimproper and irregular; if you are not careful I shall have to reportit to the court."

  "It's no more improper and irregular than theirs is. We're here to sayguilty or not guilty, not to pry into each other's private affairs. Ifthey don't make no personal remarks, I shan't."

  "Listen to reason, Mr. Longsett. Do I understand, Mr. Plummer, thatyou will acquiesce in a verdict of guilty if
we prefer arecommendation to the court that the case shall be treated under theFirst Offenders Act?"

  "You are at liberty to so understand, Mr. Grice."

  "And you, Mr. Longsett? If we are unable to agree the prisoner willhave to go back to prison, and, on his again standing his trial, Ihave no hesitation in saying that he will be found guilty, when hewill be likely to receive much less lenient treatment than now, whenwe are ready and willing to recommend him to mercy."

  "We're going to agree."

  "That's good hearing. You agree to a verdict of guilty, coupled with arecommendation to mercy?"

  "I don't do nothing of the kind."

  "Then what do you agree to?"

  "I agree to a verdict of not guilty--that's what I agree to."

  "Then, in that case, we're likely to disagree. You can hardly expecteleven men to go against the weight of evidence for the sake ofagreeing with you."

  "There's no hurry that I knows on. We'll wait a bit. I have heard ofjuries being locked up for eight-and-forty hours. I daresay beforethat time some of you'll have changed your minds. Seems to me thatthere's three or four already that can change their minds as easy aswinking." He began, with a certain amount of ostentation, to untie thestring which bound his brown paper parcel. "I'm getting peckish. Ifyou don't mind, Mr. Foreman, we'll talk things over while I'm eating."

  The unfolding of the paper revealed the fact that it contained acomfortable number of succulent-looking sandwiches. The eleven eyedthem--and their owner--sourly. Carefully taking the top one of theheap between his finger and his thumb Mr. Longsett took a bite at it.Seldom has the process of attacking a sandwich had a more attentiveaudience.

  "I say, Jacob," observed Mr. Timmins, "aren't you going to give meone?"

  "What, give you the food from between my own lips! Not if I know it.We may be here till this time to-morrow. I've got to think of myself,Mr. Timmins."

  "I'm not going to stop here till this time to-morrow, Jacob Longsett!"

  As he spoke old Parkes banged his fist upon the table.

  "All right, George Parkes, nobody asked you to, so far as I know.Seems to me you're uncommon keen to send the lad to gaol."

  "I don't wish the lad no harm."

  "Seems to me as how you do."

  "I say I don't!"

  Mr. Parkes punctuated each of his remarks with a bang upon the board.

  "Then why don't you do what you've sworn to do, and bring him in notguilty along of me?"

  "I don't care what I brings him in. It don't make no odds to me. Itain't none of my affair. I've got my own business to 'tend to, andwhen a man's got to my years he don't care to meddle in no one else's.I'm willing to bring him in not guilty along of you, Jacob Longsett."

  "That's more like it. If there was more like you and me, GeorgeParkes, we'd soon be outside of this."

  Captain Rudd, who had listened to this short dialogue without evincingany signs of approbation, once more endeavoured to urge the foreman toaction.

  "Don't you think, Mr. Foreman, that the time has arrived for you tocommunicate the fact of our disagreement to the court?"

  Mr. Longsett made haste to differ.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Foreman, but, if Captain Rudd will allow me, I don'tthink it has. We haven't been here hardly any time. There's no hurry,so long as we're doing our duty. I daresay we'll all agree yet beforewe've finished. All we want is a little patience."

  "And something to eat," said Mr. Timmins.

  "Then do you mean to say," exclaimed Mr. Longsett, as he commencedupon another sandwich, "that you'd send a young lad to gaol, and blasthis good name for ever, just because you're hungry?"

  "May I be permitted to make a remark?" The inquiry came from Mr.Tyler. He was holding his handkerchief to his ear; his generalexpression was one of suffering. "Considering how little of theevidence I really heard I don't wish it to be supposed that I have anyobjection to a verdict of not guilty. And I may add that not only ismy earache driving me nearly mad, but my health, as a whole, as someof you know, is bad, and I am easily exhausted. Had I supposed thatany of this sort of thing would have taken place I should haveprocured a medical certificate excusing me. I appeal to gentlemen toarrive as rapidly as possible at a decision, which will enable me toobtain measures of relief."

  "Hear, hear!" Mr. Longsett rapped with his knuckles on the table.

  "I'd never have come," declared old Parkes, "if I'd a known I wasgoing to be kep' all day without my dinner. When a man gets to myyears he wants his victuals regular. I didn't have hardly nobreakfast, and I ain't had nothing since."

  "I tell you what it is," cried Slater; "I want my dinner, and I've gotmy business to attend to--this is the busiest day of the week for me.So far as I can see it doesn't make much difference how we bring itin. You say that if you bring him in guilty you're going to get himoff: then why shouldn't you bring him in not guilty right away? If youbring him in guilty I can't help thinking that he ought to bepunished--he won't care nothing for your bringing him in guilty if heisn't; while, if you bring him in not guilty, he'll thank his starsfor the narrow squeak he'll think he's had, and it'll be a lesson tohim as long as he lives."

  "There is," allowed Mr. Plummer, "a good deal in what Mr. Slatersays."

  "There is one thing against it," murmured Mr. Moss. His voice wasrather squeaky, and, as if conscious of the fact, he generallyproduced it as softly as he could.

  "What's that?"

  "The evidence. We are supposed to be influenced by the evidence, andby that only."

  "It struck me that the evidence was all one-sided."

  "Precisely--on the side of the prosecution. Since the case waspractically undefended the presumption is that the prisoner had nodefence to offer."

  "But, as practical men," persisted Mr. Plummer, "does it not occur toyou that there is a good deal in what Mr. Slater says? If we find thelad not guilty we shall teach him a lesson, and, at the same time, notbe placing on his character an ineffaceable slur. We might, forinstance, state in open court, through the mouth of our worthyforeman, that we are willing to give the prisoner the benefit of thedoubt."

  "But there is no doubt. Let us do justice though the heavens fall.Have you yourself any doubt that James Bailey stole Samuel Nichols'scorn and hay?"

  "Ah, dear sir, there is only One who can say. He has no doubt. We arenot omniscient."

  "That sort of talk may be all very well in a pulpit, Mr. Plummer. Itis out of place in a court of law when we are dealing with ascertainedfacts."

  Mr. Plummer raised his hands and shook his head, as if he was sorryfor Mr. Moss.

  "Let us show mercy, that we may be shown it," he all but whispered.

  "In other words," struck in Captain Rudd, "we are to do evil in orderthat good may come--even to the extent of prostituting truth."

  "I am afraid, in our present situation, these things are not arguable.Some of us, thank Heaven, see things through eyes of our own."

  "Precisely, and it is because they don't appear to be arguable that Ionce more suggest to the foreman that the court be informed that weare unable to agree."

  "And I again take leave to differ. Why now, there's"--Mr. Longsettpointed with his finger--"one--two--three--four--five of us as saysnot guilty. We're agreeing more and more every minute. I dare bet anymoney we'll all be like one family before we get outside this room. Ifthe foreman ain't got no particular objection I'll have a moistener. Inever could eat dry." Taking a black bottle out of an inner pocket inhis overcoat he applied it to his lips. Such of the eleven as were notkeenly observant ostentatiously turned their eyes another way. He tooka long and hearty pull, then he smacked his lips. "Good stuff that; Ialways like a drop when I've been eating--helps digestion."

  "This is more than human nature can stand," groaned Mr. Timmins. "Mr.Foreman, I move that the magistrates be informed that we are unable toagree, and I request that you put that motion without further delay."

  "I second that motion," said Captain Rudd.

  "And I say no!"


  Jacob flourished his bottle. Mr. Timmins's visage, as he confrontedMr. Longsett, became slightly inflamed.

  "We don't care what you say. Do you think we're going to sit here,watching you guzzling, as long as ever you please? If you wantto give a proper verdict you give one which is according to theevidence--we're not going to let you play the fool with us, Jacob, myboy."

  Extending the open palm of his left hand, Mr. Longsett marked time onit with the bottle which he was holding in his right.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Foreman, but perhaps I know a bit of law as well asthe rest of you, and I say that the law is this, that before a jurycan tell the court anything it's got to agree upon what it's going totell. And what I mean by that is this, that before any one of us--Idon't care if it's the foreman, or who it is!--can tell the court thatwe disagree we've got to agree to disagree--and I don't agree!"

  Mr. Moss put a question to the foreman.

  "Is that really the case?"

  The foreman smiled a wintry smile--and temporised.

  "I shouldn't positively like to say."

  "But I do say positively. You can ask the magistrates, if you like,and see if I'm not right. Why, if you go into court now and say thatwe disagree I shall say we don't! I shall say that if we only have alittle more time we shall agree yet; all we want's a chance of talkingit over."

  The foreman, pressing his fingers together, addressed Mr. Longsettwith an air that was acid.

  "Then, according to you, if one member of a jury chooses to makehimself objectionable his colleagues are at his mercy?"

  Jacob rose from his seat in such a flame of passion that it almostseemed he was going to hurl his bottle at the foreman's head.

  "Don't you call me objectionable, Mr. Grice! I won't have it! I'm nomore objectionable than you are! I've got as much right to an opinionas you, and because my opinion don't happen to be the same as yoursyou've no right to call me names. If we all start calling each othernames a nice state of things that'll be. A pretty notion of aforeman's duties you seem to have!"

  Mr. Grice, who was not pugilistic, turned a trifle pale; he did notseem happy. Captain Rudd, tilting his chair backwards, and thrustinghis hands into his trouser pockets, looked up at the ceiling.

  "This is the sort of thing which brings the jury system intocontempt."

  "What's that, Captain Rudd?" Mr. Longsett, who was still upon hisfeet, chose his words with much deliberation, emphasising them withshakings of his fist. "You mean you're the sort, I suppose? You'requite right, you are. You've been in the army, you see, and you thinkwe're soldiers, to come to heel whenever you tell us, and that's whereyou're mistaken, Captain Rudd. We're free Englishmen, and we don'tchoose to have you come the officer over us--and that's how you makethe thing contemptible by trying."

  There was silence. His colleagues seemed to be arriving at theconclusion that Jacob was a difficult man to differ with.

  "It strikes me," said Mr. Timmins, when the silence was becomingpainful, "that if the law is really such that we've got to stop heretill our good Jacob takes it into his generous head to let us go, youand I, Mr. Hisgard, might have that little game of crib I was speakingof; it may help us forget where we are, and that we're not going tohave any dinner till it's past supper time."

  "Just you wait a minute. Perhaps," replied Mr. Hisgard, "I may beallowed to say a word." No one appeared to have any objection. "What Iwish to remark is this. With all deference, I think Mr. Slater spokeas a practical man. I don't see that there's much difference betweensaying guilty and at the same time asking the magistrate to award nopunishment, and, as Mr. Slater puts it, bringing it in not guiltyright away."

  Mr. Timmins, who had been shuffling a pack of cards, replaced them onthe table.

  "All right. Let's have it that way and make an end of it. Suppose weall say not guilty and caution him not to do it again--what's theodds?"

  "So far as I'm concerned," observed Tom Elliott, "I'm willing to bringhim in not guilty. It's my belief he's been led into it all along, andI know perhaps as much about it as anyone. There's a good deal aboutthe affair what's been kept quiet by both sides. Perhaps I might havesaid a word for one."

  Mr. Moss interrogated the foreman with uplifted eyebrows.

  "Do you think it does make any difference?"

  The foreman shrugged his shoulders. He was still. Captain Rudd spokefor him.

  "It makes the difference between right and wrong--that's all."

  Mr. Plummer leaned his elbows on the table; his spectacled countenancewore its most benevolent smile.

  "Hearken to me, dear sir. We are all Christian men----"

  "Not necessarily at this moment; at this moment we are jurymen--onlyjurymen."

  Mr. Plummer sighed, as if in sorrow. He turned to the others, as ifdesiring their forgiveness for the captain.

  "This gentleman--I trust he will pardon me for saying so--puts a curbupon his natural generosity. His is what we may, perhaps, term themilitary mind--precise, and, if we may say so, just a little--themerest atom--hard. For my part I think, Mr. Foreman, we might, asChristian men, conscientiously return a negative finding, intimatingat the same time that, owing to the prisoner's tender years, we arenot unwilling to give him the benefit of the doubt."

  The captain dissented.

  "What sort of mind do you call yours, sir? Were we to return such averdict, we should make of ourselves the laughing-stock of England."

  The foreman shook his head.

  "I hardly think England will interest itself in our proceedings tothat extent. Similar verdicts in similar cases are, I imagine, morecommon than you may suppose. I am not advocating such a course, but Ibelieve it would be logically possible for us to inform themagistrates that, while some of us entertain strong opinions on thesubject of the prisoner's guilt, being desirous to arrive at a stateof agreement, and also bearing in mind the youth of the accused, weare willing to acquiesce in a verdict of acquittal."

  "I agree to that," cried Mr. Longsett. "That's fair enough. Now, is itall settled?"

  "I'm not."

  The speaker was the captain. All eyes were turned on him.

  The foreman spoke.

  "Don't you think, captain, you--might swallow a gnat?"

  "I don't wish to set myself up as a superior person, but, under thecircumstances, I'm afraid I can't."

  "Quite so. Now we know where we are." Mr. Longsett composed himself inhis chair; planting his hands against his sides he stuck out hiselbows; he screwed up his mouth. "It just shows you how one man canplay skittles with eleven others."

  The captain was silently contemptuous.

  "I really doubt if it matters." It was Mr. Moss who said it; hewhispered an addition into the captain's ear: "If the young scampisn't hung to-day he'll be hung to-morrow."

  The captain ignored the whisper; his reply was uttered with sufficientclearness.

  "Perhaps, sir, your sense of duty is not a high one."

  The eleven eyed each other, and the table, and vacancy; a spirit ofdepression seemed to be settling down upon them all. Old Parkes, withelongated visage, addressed a melancholy inquiry to no one inparticular. "What's us sitting here for?"

  Jacob responded--"That's what I should like to know, George. Perhapsit's because a gentleman's made up his mind to ruin a poor young ladfor life."

  The captain took up the gauntlet.

  "I presume it is useless for me to point out to you that yourstatement is as incorrect as it is unjustified. I have heard a gooddeal about the absurdities of the jury system. I may tell you, sir,that you have presented me with an object-lesson which will last methe rest of my life. It occurs to me as just possible that the soonerthe system is reformed the better."

  "Ah! I daresay it would. Then gentlemen like you would be able togrind poor lads under your feet whenever it suited you. Oh, dear, no!You think yourself somebody, don't you, captain?"

  Captain Rudd looked as if he would if he could; in his eyes theregleamed something very like a foreshadowing of assault and bat
tery.The foreman made a little movement with his hands, which, possibly,was intended to be a counsel of peace. Anyhow, the captain allowed thelast word to be Jacob's. Mr. Tyler, his handkerchief still pressed tohis ear, appealed to the captain in a tone of voice which was almosttearful.

  "As man to man, sir, let me beseech you to take pity on the dreadfulsituation we are in."

  "To what situation do you allude, sir?"

  "I am alluding, sir, to the dreadful pain which I am enduring in myleft ear; you can have no conception of its severity. Besides which Ihave a sadly weakly constitution generally--as is well known to morethan one gentleman who is now present. I have suffered for the lasttwenty years from chronic lumbago, together with a functionalderangement of the liver, which, directly any irregularity occurs inmy hours or habits, invariably reduces me to a state of collapse. Iassure you that if this enforced confinement and prolonged abstentionfrom my natural food endures much longer, in my present state ofhealth the consequences may be highly serious."

  "I don't follow your reasoning, sir. Because you are physicallyunfitted to serve upon a jury, and culpably omitted to inform thecourt of the fact, you wish me not to do my duty, you having alreadyfailed to do yours?"

  "I wish you," sighed Mr. Tyler, "to be humane."

  "This is the first jury ever I was on," groaned Mr. Parkes, shakinghis ancient head as if it had been hung on wires, "and I'll take carethat it's the last. Such things didn't ought to be--not when a man'sgot to my years, they didn't. Who's young Jim Bailey, I'd like toknow, that we should go losing our dinners acause of him? Hit him overthe head and ha' done with it--that's what I say."

  "You must excuse me, Captain Rudd," said Mr. Timmins, "but why can'tyou strain a point as well as the rest of us? Why shouldn't we, as abody of practical men, take a merciful view of the position and givethe boy another chance? He is only a boy after all."

  "We are not automata though we are jurymen, and surely we may, withoutshame, allow ourselves to be actuated by the dictates of our commonhumanity."

  Thus Mr. Plummer. Mr. Slater agreed with him in a fashion of his own.

  "Let the boy go and have done with it--I daresay we can trust Jacob togive him a good sound towelling."

  "He's had that already."

  There was a grimness in Mr. Longsett's tone which caused more than oneof his hearers to smile.

  "I'll be bound his mother's crying her eyes out for him at home."

  This was Tom Elliott. Mr. Plummer joined his hands as if insupplication.

  "Poor woman!" he murmured.

  "It comes hard upon the mothers," said Mr. Hisgard.

  "And Jim Bailey's mother is as honest and hard-working a woman as everlived--that I know as a fact. And she's seen a lot of trouble!"

  As he made this announcement Mr. Timmins shuffled his pack of cards,as if the action relieved his mind. For some moments everyone wasstill. Suddenly Mr. Tyler, who had been looking a picture of misery,broke into audible lamentations.

  "Oh dear! oh dear! I'm very ill! Won't anyone take pity on a man inagony?"

  So intense was his sympathy with his own affairs that the tearstrickled down his cheeks. Mr. Timmins endeavoured to encourage him.

  "Come, Mr. Tyler, come! Bear up! It'll soon be over now!"

  "If anything serious comes of the cruel suffering which is beinginflicted on me I shall look to you gentlemen for compensation. I'm apoor man; it's always a hard struggle, with my poor health, to maketwo ends meet. I can't afford to pay doctors' bills which have beenincurred by the actions of others!"

  "That's pleasant hearing--what do you think, Mr. Hisgard?--if we'vegot to contribute to this gentleman's doctors' bills! Come, Mr. Tyler,don't talk like that, or soon we shall all of us be ill. I know Ishall!"

  There was a further pause. Then Mr. Moss delivered himself.

  "I'm bound to admit that what Mr. Timmins has said of the prisoner'smother I know to be correct of my own knowledge. Mrs. Bailey has beena widow for many years; she has brought up a large family with thelabour of her own hands; she has had many difficulties to contendwith, and is deserving of considerable sympathy. There is that to besaid. Come, Captain Rudd, for once in a way let us be illogical. Ifyou will agree to a verdict of not guilty I will."

  Captain Rudd, his head thrown back, continued for some moments tosilently regard the ceiling. The others watched him, exhibiting, invarious degrees, unmistakable anxiety. Finally, with his eyes stillturned ceilingwards, he capitulated.

  "All right. Let it be as you say. Rather than the gentleman in frontof me should perish on his chair, and other gentlemen should sufferany longer from the absence of their 'natural food,' I am willing tobe joined with the rest, and, with you, to place myself under thedominion of Mr. Jacob Longsett's thumb."

  "Hear, hear! Bravo!" There were observations expressive ofsatisfaction from different quarters; but Mr. Longsett, in particular,was enthusiastic in his approbation.

  "Your words does you honour, captain!"

  "You think so?--I'm sorry we differ."

  The foreman rapped upon the table.

  "Order, gentlemen, please. Then may I take it that, at present, we arefinally agreed upon a verdict of not guilty?"

  "Coupled," corrected Mr. Moss, "with an intimation to the effect that,considering the prisoner's age, we have been willing to give him thebenefit of the doubt."

  "Precisely. Does any other gentleman wish to make an observation?Apparently not. Then may I also take it that we are ready to returninto court?"

  Acclamations in the affirmative rose from all sides. The foreman rangthe hand-bell which was in front of him. The usher appeared.

  * * * * *

  So the prisoner was acquitted, no one in the court having the faintestnotion why.