Trail Mix: Amoeba

by Piers Anthony

  But this time the androids were too quick for the defenders, perhaps because it was difficult for men to make themselves dismember voluptuous female bodies. Three reached the top of the wall and started to scramble over.

  “Pour!” Tod called.

  Now the steaming pots came into play. The villagers tipped them and the scalding water poured out. It bathed the highest androids, cooking those sections it touched, and they collapsed. More androids climbed over them, but got mired in the sogginess below. The villagers chopped at their limbs as the humanoids tried to extricate themselves, but two got through. They strode into the fortress inside the wall.

  Now the children sprang to action. They ran in front of the androids, screaming. One android followed; this was what they were programmed to do. She took huge steps, gaining on the children.

  Until they reached the central fire pit. One fell in, but the other managed to skirt it. She paused, looking around. She spied Tod watching. She stepped toward him, opening her arms, displaying her breasts.

  Until Veee and Vanja charged her from the side, holding up wooden frameworks that rammed into the android, pushing her into the pit. She dropped, and soon smoke rose and the odor of burning flesh spread.

  “She thought I would embrace her!” Tod said, amazed.

  “Like the prior one,” Vanja agreed.

  “But we took her out!”

  Veee made a gesture of comprehension. “You used your poncho. That interrupted the pool’s contact. It couldn’t see what happened to her, so it didn’t know that ploy was a failure. It’s not smart, so it didn’t figure out that we had found a way to stop her; she simply vanished from its awareness.”

  “She went off its radar,” Tod agreed. “So it continued to use that ploy.”

  “Something else,” Vanja said. “Those six females were immobile until the males were stopped. Only then did they come to life. Why did the pool space them out like that, when it would have done better if all twelve attacked together?”

  Tod suffered a flash of insight. “Bipedal!”

  Both women looked at him, not understanding.

  “Human beings habitually go on two legs, almost alone in Earth’s animal kingdom,” he said, excited. “Because it requires a tricky balancing act. We had to develop a brain capable of doing that. Other animals stay on four or more feet to avoid that necessity. So when the pool emulated the human form, it had to make the androids balance, and that’s hard. Remember, they have no brains or nervous system of their own. They’re just walking meat. So it must be that six is the maximum number the pool can manage before they fall over.”

  “That does make sense,” Vanja agreed. “With six-legged crabs, balance is no problem, but two legs is different.”

  “It may not have realized just how different until it tried balancing multiple humanoids,” Veee said. “But by then it was committed.”

  “But you bet it will give up on humanoids,” Vanja said. “Now that they’ve failed. The next attack will be crabs, or worse, with no balancing problems.”

  “Yes, we must prepare for that,” Tod agreed.

  More androids charged the wall, but now these were indeed orange crabs evidently held in reserve. They poked their extremities into the fallen ones, hauled them up, and carried them away. “Damn!” Tod swore. “They’ll be recycled, and we’ll have gained nothing.”

  “But at least we have held them off,” Vanja said, satisfied.

  “This time,” Bem said. “But the next ones may be twice the size of any prior crabs.”

  That was a sobering thought. Merely holding off the androids was not going to be enough. They would keep coming back stronger than before, until at last they prevailed.

  “We have to take out that pool tomorrow,” Tod said.

  “I will consult with Wizard tonight,” Vanja said. “To see how we can best utilize his magic.”

  “And I will consult with Bem and Veee to see what non-magical devices we can come up with.”

  The androids cleared out by nightfall. Apparently their vision was too vague to operate well at night, and they had serious hauling to do. Probably there would be no further attack until daylight.

  Nevertheless, the villagers posted lookouts, just in case.

  Veee joined Tod for slumber. “This is my last night with you without Vanja,” she said.

  “You must dread her return.”

  “No, actually I miss her. Sex is more interesting when she’s here.”

  “You find ordinary sex dull?”

  “Yes. What is it, but a particular act? But Vanja somehow makes it novel.”

  “Will I get in trouble if I agree?”

  She laughed. “No, because it’s true. Now do you want sex before or after we plan for tomorrow?”

  “How about during?”

  “As you wish.” She got on top of him and took him into her, then was still. “Last time we tried to approach the pool we would have gotten wiped out, but for Wizard. We can’t afford to use him that way tomorrow. In fact I think I will carry him, so that he uses up no bodily strength at all. He must be fully charged for the pool.”

  “You’re right,” Tod said, intrigued by this mode of discussion. It was pleasant being in her without having to complete it immediately. “But that’s a considerable burden to place on you.”

  “I can do it. I am not sure why the Amoeba selected me for this mission, but maybe it was for this rather than any quality of mind.”

  “I like your mind,” he said, kissing her.

  “Thank you.” She squeezed his member internally, not enough to set him off. “I have an idea for passing the androids without challenge.”

  “I thought Wizard could veil us with illusion.” He paused. “But that means drawing on his power. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “Yes. We need to do it without using him at all, until the end.”

  “Well, there is my poncho, but I’m not sure how that could conceal all of us. It might disable one android, but the others would see us.”

  “What about masquerading as androids ourselves?”

  “Trying to pass as humanoid androids? Wouldn’t the pool know it hadn’t made us?”

  “Does it keep count?”

  “I suspect not. But up close we wouldn’t look or smell like androids.”

  “We could make our hair mat, and wear blank expressions. But mainly I think we might smear android juice over our bodies, to make us smell like them. If the pool is concentrating on besieging the fort, it won’t be watching us anyway.”

  “We could pretend to be androids carrying back dead meat for the pool!” Tod exclaimed. “You’ll be carrying Wizard. I’ll carry Vanja. Or maybe the other way around, if you prefer. Or Bem can carry one. Or Bem can assume a rough crab form and carry a load of dead android. Whatever works. Why would the pool pay any attention to us? Especially if we are among many others doing the same thing.”

  “Brilliant!” she said, kissing him.

  “But you’ve been doing most of the thinking here.”

  “No, I am merely encouraging you to be the leader you are. The credit is yours.”

  “You’re trying to make me look better than I am.”

  “Well, I love you.”

  Tod thought about that. “A man could get to like a woman who does that for him.”

  “I like doing it for you.”

  Something rose in him and spread through his body. “Veee, I want to marry you.”

  “But what about Vanja?”

  “She’s fine as my mistress, but I don’t love her. I want to have sex with her, but I want to marry you. I love you.”

  “Thank you,” she said faintly.

  “Veee, will you marry me?”

  “Tod, I can’t go with you to your home world.”

  “Forget my home world! I like this one. Marry me!”

  “I would like to. But I think we do not yet know each other well enough to make such a commitment.”

  “Veee, just say yes!” />
  “We do not know what the future holds. We may die tomorrow.”

  “Then let’s marry tonight.”

  “Please, Tod, do not hurry me in this. I love you and want to be with you always, and I do want to marry you, and know you want the same. But we need to be sure it’s right. We must give it time.”

  He knew she was right. “Time,” he agreed. “But can we consider it our engagement?”

  “Yes, if you wish.”

  “I don’t have a ring to give you, but I’ll search for one.”

  “We can celebrate it this way.” Her belly convulsed, and squeezed his member marvelously as she avidly kissed him. He detonated in her, and felt her similar response.

  It did seem to be a fitting celebration of the understanding.

  Vanja knew the moment she saw them in the morning. “Betrothal! Congratulations. Will there still be a place for me?”

  “Mistress,” Tod said.

  “That will do. You know I will not be bound to any single man.” She smiled. “Wizard is now back at full strength. He won’t let me tend him any more, but I know he appreciated his time with me.”

  They told her of their plan to infiltrate the android throng. “Genius!” Vanja said.

  “I told you Tod was smart,” Veee said.

  Vanja glanced shrewdly at her. “And the smartest thing he ever did was to fall in love with you, you delightful primitive.”

  “Yes!” Tod agreed, and Veee blushed modestly.

  They set about masking themselves. Wizard and Vanja would not need it, because they would play the roles of carrion, but the other three did. They hauled up a scorched arm of the feminoid in the pit, melted it in a pot, and spread the goo over their bare bodies. Bem not only spread, it assumed the rough form and color of a giant crab, with six stubby projecting upper limbs. There were not six legs, but the color made it seem as though there were legs there.

  The androids attacked. Sure enough, this time the big orange crabs were back. But their limbs were not as good for scaling the wall as the swords and hands of the humanoids had been, and the first wave was repulsed with boiling water and frenzied chopping.

  Tod consulted with the village head man. “Can you handle this without us? We need to try again to bomb the pool.”

  The past few days had given the villagers a lot of savage experience. “We can hold out for a few hours. Then we’ll tire and they’ll overrun us.”

  “A few hours is all we’ll need. Once we bomb the pool, all the androids should drop dead, in their fashion. If we fail, we’ll try to get back here to help you survive.”

  The man nodded and went back to work, shoring up the weak spots as they manifested. So far, boiling water and swords were doing it. But they all knew that any reprieve would be temporary, because the pool simply recycled the dead androids to make new ones.

  Now was the time. Vanja transformed and flew over the fortress, surveying the situation. “There’s a kind of gap in the middle,” she reported. “Where the attacking crabs are making way for the carrion carriers.”

  “That’s us,” Tod agreed. “You know your roles. Get moving, and I’ll protect you as I can.”

  They lined up in the center: an orange crab bearing a live human being, a nude feminoid bearing a live woman, and Tod, a naked male ready for combat or salvage. If anything went wrong, the two unconcealed ones could escape, either by transforming and flying, or by floating up. The three others would form a close group and try to fight their way out. It was a crude strategy, but they were not dealing with genius. It should do.

  Then Tod climbed over and dropped to the ground beyond, doing his best to emulate a humanoid android. He knew he had the smell and the appearance; the pool should be able to see him only via the vague vision of the others. If it did not realize that he was not actually being operated by it, this ploy was good.

  He stood for a moment, looking around, as if checking for something to attack or carry. The busy orange crabs ignored him. That was promising.

  He turned and saw Bem haul Wizard down on its back. Wizard was deliberately inert, exerting no effort of his own, saving all of his strength for the finale. It looked approximately like a giant orange crab with man-shaped carrion on its back. Again, the androids ignored them.

  Then Veee slid down, carrying Vanja across her broad shoulders. The vampire wasn’t heavy, being a very slender creature, sylph-like compared to the muscular Veee, and of course she was unobtrusively holding on so that Veee’s hands were free to steady herself. Tod admired them both in their separate fashions: the one with muscular arms and legs along with broad hips and large breasts, the other hardly two thirds her weight with her smaller hips and breasts that seemed more pronounced because of the slenderness of the rest of her body. Had he been selecting women from a picture catalog, he would have chosen Vanja immediately. But he had come to know them both, and while he had a continuing passion for Vanja, he loved Veee. The men of her world might have found her unattractive, but Tod had come to know her better, and she was the one for him. Having both women together was as close to paradise as he was likely to get. He was immensely pleased that the two had become friends, and that neither was the jealous type. In fact he loved the way the two collaborated to arouse and satisfy his passion as often as they could.

  This reflection took only an instant while he waited to be sure the androids had not been alerted. The things were not subtle enough to pretend acceptance in order to get the whole party among them so that the prey was vulnerable, but the pool just might be, so it remained nervous business. The route seemed clear.

  Tod spied a de-limbed crab that was small enough to carry. It was inert; the pool did not bother animating flesh that had become useless. Tod picked it up and slung it over one shoulder. This completed his disguise. One thing about android flesh: it didn’t bleed. It was like a fleshy toy.

  They moved out, forging with deliberate clumsiness past the androids and into the forest. There was a rough line of live androids carrying dead androids; they fit right in. Tod led the way with his burden, followed by Bem, followed in turn by Veee.

  The path was now well worn by the many feet of the androids, easy to follow. They tramped on without pause. Tod got nervous when they approached the place where the androids had ambushed them before, but this time they passed it without event. So either they pool had not caught on, or whatever challenge there was would occur later.

  They passed a rise and started down. Soon that reversed, and the route became steep. Now they really had to work to bear their burdens up the slope. The androids were indefatigable; the team members had to conceal their weakness as much as possible. They were surely getting close.

  They crested a rocky ridge. And there it was: a declivity in the hills, forming a small high valley whose base the pool had filled in. Tod saw what looked like a lake of goo, brownish on one side, orange on the other. The pool!

  There was activity there. Androids were carrying their loads to the edge and unceremoniously dumping them in at one side. From the other side shapes were emerging: the new androids. Apparently they formed beneath the surface, and when they were complete, marched out to get to work. They were orange, matching that section of the pool.

  Now the line of androids halted. They dumped down their burdens and departed along another path.

  Tod was dismayed. Why weren’t they delivering directly to the pool? Now he saw that the androids that were delivering were a different group, coming out from the pool to pick up the offerings and bear them on in. It was a simple relay, probably more efficient than having one set of androids proceed all the way from the siege area to the pool. But it represented an unexpected and formidable obstacle. Tod could throw down his offering, but Bem could not dump Wizard. The inner circle androids might routinely chop him up for the occasion and dump the pieces into the pool.

  What were they to do? They couldn’t dawdle any length of time, as that would soon arouse suspicion. But neither could they complete their journey
to the pool.

  He formed an instant plan, hoping it would not turn out to be a disaster. “Bem, Vanja. Join with me to make a distraction that takes the androids’ or the pool’s attention for a few minutes. Veee, dump down your load the way the others do, and remain in place. When the distraction occurs, pick up Wizard as if you are one of the inner circle androids, and carry him down to the pool. Act as if this is your assignment.” He took a breath. “In case things go wrong, remember I love you.” He paused. “Now!” He threw his own carcass down.

  Bem slid Wizard onto the ground beside the other carrion, and slid back, changing form and colors.

  Veee nodded. She dumped Vanja down.

  Vanja landed on her feet. “Hey, I’m not going there!” she exclaimed, and ran toward Bem. She jumped on Bem’s back. “Take me away from all this garbage, my loyal steed!”

  If their appearance and actions had not alerted the pool, surely their voices did. Androids might hear, but they did not talk. The nearest ones oriented on Bem and Vanja.

  “This way!” Tod cried, waving his arms violently as he ran up toward the ridge.

  Bem and Vanja followed. So did the androids. With luck the pool’s attention was on them, reorganizing them to give pursuit, not noticing what remained behind. Tod regretted that he could not watch to see what happened, but he could not risk having an android look too.

  Tod crested the ridge and ran down the other side. Bem and Vanja were right after him, the vampire making a siren sound that was probably audible throughout the region. She was one ham actress!

  The androids charged over the ridge. They could not actually move as rapidly as Tod and Bem could, being constructed for combat and carrying, but they were brisk enough. “Keep them close,” Tod called. “But don’t let them catch you. The way we did with the wolfkeys when we swam to the island.” Only there was no android-eating predator to intercept them.

  They ran into the forest and dodged among the trees. But now more androids were coming from the other direction. The pool was summoning all the closest ones, and they were surrounding the fugitives in their classic hunting pattern. This was mischief.