Trail Mix: Amoeba

by Piers Anthony

  “Climb!” Tod cried, and scrambled up a giant tree trunk. He knew the androids could climb, but not well. The fugitives should be able to fend them off.

  Bem slid right up the tree, carrying Vanja along. When they were above Tod, she got off and started climbing on her own. When Tod looked up, she changed her costume so that she appeared to be wearing a short skirt without panties. Her flexing legs showing everything. She just couldn’t stop teasing him, even in potentially dire straits like these.

  Tod focused on the job at hand, and climbed. Soon the three of them were high above the forest floor, safe for the moment.

  “We’d better keep taunting them,” Vanja said. “So they don’t give up the chase too soon.” She peered down through the branches. “Hey, you orange freaks! Bet you can’t catch us! How’d you like a taste of this meat?” She flashed her legs at the slowly climbing crabs.

  “I think Bem and I can handle it,” Tod said. “You should go check on Veee and Wizard.”

  “You’re right.” She shifted to full nudity and transformed, flying away.

  “Human courtship continues to be interesting,” Bem remarked. “Is she aware that you can’t conveniently indulge in copulation with her at the moment?”

  “She’s aware. She’s an inherent tease.” Tod did not care to admit to either Vanja or Bem how effective that teasing was. Seeing up her mock skirt that way... “Let’s cooperate in fending off the androids. If I use my poncho to stun them momentarily, can you cut off key limbs?”

  “I can,” Bem agreed, forming a giant set of pincers. Tod hadn’t seen those before; Bem must have been thinking about how better to deal with the crabs.

  The first crab reached their branch. Tod angled his poncho to put it between the android and the pool. It froze in place. Bem, glued to the trunk, extended the pincers down and crunched off the limb with the spike wedged in the branch.

  The android dropped to the ground, crashing through the foliage and bouncing off the crabs below.

  “That was satisfying,” Tod said.

  “I agree.”

  The next crab came up, and they dispatched it similarly. Then a third. “They don’t seem to realize their attack’s not working,” Tod said.

  “I believe the pool is concentrating on the siege of the fortress, while these ones are on repetitive instructions.”

  “Autopilot,” Tod agreed. “Let’s hope Veee and Wizard are encountering similar inattention.”

  The bat returned and transformed into the woman, her bare legs spreading above Tod as she clung to the tree. She leaned down to ensure that her breasts were also fully displayed. “Bad news. There’s a defensive trench around the pool, allowing access at only one place, and that’s a second carrion hand-off station. Veee can’t pass it. I could help boost Wizard through, but they would notice and converge. We need another distraction.”

  “Damn!”

  She waggled a finger at him. “You stopped me from using vulgar language, Tod; you shouldn’t use it yourself.”

  “Is this flirting?” Bem inquired.

  “You bet,” Vanja said, smiling.

  “We’ll have to help them,” Tod said. “Bem, you make a distraction so I can get down off this tree. Is there a crab-free route I can take?”

  “Over the ridge, there,” Vanja said, pointing. “It’s off the path; no androids there. You can get most of the way to the pool before they spot you. But they’re quite alert near the pool; no pre-programmed units there. You could get hurt.”

  Tod was sure that was so. He might not get through. “Bem, can you camouflage yourself so you can reach Veee unobserved, if I draw the androids’ attention?”

  “I may be able to.”

  “Then after you distract them so I can get off the tree and over the ridge, you disappear and go to Veee. Help her get Wizard to the pool, or take him yourself.” He turned to Vanja. “Guide me, help me, and if they overwhelm me, transform and escape. I am expendable.”

  “Not to me,” she said. She leaned down farther and kissed him. “I’ll guard your back as you descend.”

  “Move!” Tod started down the tree. A crab was there. He shaded it with the poncho and scrambled right by it, so that when it recovered it was above him and seemingly unaware that he was gone. But there was another below. He shaded that one, but could not get by it until Vanja got between them and bit its supportive limb. That rendered it inoperative, allowing Tod to pass.

  Meanwhile Bem, above, made its siren whoop and fell out of the tree in the form of a big brightly colored ball. It bounced on the ground, then rolled downhill, flashing and whooping. That got the androids’ attention and they swarmed after the ball.

  Tod dropped the rest of the way to the ground. There were no crabs there for the moment.

  “This way,” Vanja said, and ran obliquely up the slope. Tod followed. At least now she was not playing her seductive games.

  Then her bottom flashed white, as if uncovered by a flouncing skirt. She had not forgotten.

  Beyond the ridge it was all downhill. Now Tod saw the trench around the pool, with the androids crossing it at the single shallow section. Another simple yet effective defense. The pool’s ancestors must have had experience and found out what worked, and now it was automatic.

  He no longer heard the whooping. That meant Bem was shifting from attention-drawing to disappearing. Bem would get Wizard there as long as Tod distracted the androids. He needed to get close enough to gain the attention of the ones near Veee, yet far enough so that he could escape them. But he feared that combination was not going to be feasible.

  He came as close as he dared. “Yahooo!” he called, waving at the orange throng.

  They did not respond. What was the matter?

  “They don’t see us as a threat,” Vanja said. “So they’re continuing their business.”

  “Well, I’ll take care of that.” Tod ran toward the trench. He slid into it. It was about eight feet deep. The slopes were too steep and hard for him to climb, as he had known they would be. “Boost me up.”

  Vanja took hold of his ankles and heaved him up. She was surprisingly strong, considering her appearance; that must be part of her vampire heritage.

  His hands reached the rough inner edge of the wall, but did not find purchase. “Farther,” he said.

  “Can’t.” She lowered him.

  Then he saw why: a giant crab was coming for them.

  “Take the poncho,” Tod said, handing it to her. “Put it between the android and the pool.”

  She obeyed, and the crab went dead. Tod scrambled up onto its back and reached again for the top of the slope, but it still wasn’t enough. Then Vanja draped the poncho over the android and joined him on it. She heaved on his ankles again, and this time got him far enough up to catch hold and scramble on out. “Thanks!”

  “Catch!” she called, and heaved the balled poncho up to him.

  He caught it. “But what about you?”

  She transformed and flew up to perch on his shoulder. oh. He had for the moment forgotten.

  Now the androids oriented on him in a mass. He had become a seeming threat to the pool. They charged in from either side.

  “Yahooo!” he repeated, running down toward the pool, waving his arms. Had he given the others enough time?

  More androids swarmed from the direction of the pool. They surrounded him, closing in. “Take off, bat brain!” he exclaimed. “Go help the others, I’m done here.”

  “No. We can fight them,” she said, transforming. “Stand back to back, and wield your poncho.”

  They tried it, but it wasn’t enough, because they weren’t facing each other and he couldn’t nullify the ones on her side. The orange crabs pressed in closer, and Tod knew the end was only seconds away.

  “Get out of here!” he cried. “I’ve got one last ploy!”

  “I love you.” That was a verbal flash, and it affected him more strongly than the visual flashes had, because he knew she wasn’t teasing. She was a tou
gh-minded predator, but she had come to care for him, as he had for her.

  Then the bat was flying up, and a bull-sized crab was upon him. Tod cried out and threw himself on its back. Its arms closed about him and he went completely limp, playing dead. With luck it would treat him as it would a carcass, and not stab him. All it needed to do was carry him to the nearby pool.

  That was what it did. The other crabs fell back, no longer needed. They were used to dealing with carrion; its proper function was to be transported to the pool for processing. So he had won that gamble. Now all he needed to do was avoid getting thrown into the pool, to be dissolved and recycled. He saw it coming closer. He also saw the bat hovering close, unable to help him.

  His captor stopped behind another crab. They were at the brown portion of the pool, the entry port. The other crab tossed in another crab, one that had been de-limbed. It entered the pool without a splash, merely making a low slow wave as it sank part way, then rose again, floating mostly submerged. Thick bubbles formed around it, popping and releasing noxious gas as the flesh was liquified. The corpse dissolved visibly from the outer edge as it was digested. It seemed that the pool could process only so much at a time, hence Tod’s brief reprieve.

  A waft of vapor passed them. Tod’s host did not react, as it did not breathe, but Tod choked on the stink. Rotten eggs, liquid turds, week-old vomit, putrid cheese—he had to hold his breath until it passed, lest he puke out his guts before the pool got them. What a stench!

  The carrion sank under the roiling surface. At last he could breathe again! He looked around with stinging eyes. And there on the other side was another orange crab carrying Wizard. So they had lost that ploy too.

  No. That wasn’t an android. It was Bem masquerading as an android. They had made it after all!

  Tod’s crab lifted him up and made ready to heave him into the pool. He came to life and spread out his poncho, halting it. But now the others were pressing back in, as the pool caught on to the danger. They reached for him—

  There was a weird deep-set thud. Then a geyser erupted from the pool, rising high and spreading, forming a roiling mushroom shaped cloud. The surface of the pool was boiling as thick brown gas escaped. The amplified fetor was overpowering. And all the androids collapsed.

  Wizard had bombed the pool. The substance was still there, but now it had lost its animating force. It was merely protoplasm that would soon rot and become plant food.

  They had won.

  Chapter 8:

  Search

  They rested by the edge of the village, which was now being restored. Wizard, depleted again, was supported by a plush easy chair that was Bem’s current form. Tod was supported by a row of four breasts, as the two women knelt behind him and held him close. He had taken more of a beating than he had realized during the throes of battle, and did need recovery time. There were large bruises on his limbs and torso, and his right shoulder was painful to move beyond a limited range. He had tried to protest their attentiveness, but they had insisted, and his objections were not strong. He loved the feel of their warm bodies against him; every breath they took reminded him anew.

  “Well, I guess we succeeded,” Tod said. “It wasn’t pretty, and certainly there was no genius plan, but we managed to bungle through and get the job done.”

  “It succeeded because of your leadership, strategy, and execution,” Wizard said. “It was not required to be pretty.”

  “Still, I made so many errors of judgment along the way, I’m embarrassed. It was a victory, yes, but a largely bungled one, owing a huge amount to simple luck.”

  “Actually luck is a kind of magic in some frames,” Wizard said. “Perhaps you possess it.”

  “I’m not from a magic frame.”

  “Hence you never had prior opportunity to discover that quality,” Wizard said. “Regardless, the Amoeba selects a team that can do the designated task. It does not require it to be genius or even competent, merely adequate. We, as a team, proved to have the required qualities.”

  “We were similarly clumsy in our victory in my frame,” Bem said, the sound seeming to come from around Wizard. “I suspect the Amoeba does not have a choice from among top performers, but from among those that are somehow dissatisfied with their situations and so are ready to take the trail.”

  “We were the best of a bad lot,” Tod said, and both women laughed. That made his head rock pleasantly.

  “An exaggeration,” Wizard said. “We may not have been the top picks, but we have formidable capacities. Also, the capacity of the team may be beyond the sum of the capacities of its members. We do seem to work well together.”

  “Unified by our arts,” Veee said.

  Tod shrugged. “However, we know the job is not finished. We took out the pool, but we don’t know its origin. We need to locate and deal with that, to prevent any recurrence.”

  “We do,” Bem agreed.

  “We can be pretty sure the pool did not originate on the trail,” Wizard said. “It has to have come from an off-trail realm.”

  Vanja laughed again. “And that leaves a mere all space, all time, and all alternate universes to consider.”

  “Child’s play,” Veee agreed.

  “I doubt it,” Wizard said. “I believe we should start by checking our home frames.”

  “But we didn’t bring any androids!” the vampire protested. “We’d have noticed.”

  “Not us specifically, but someone else from our frames. Maybe one of the local villagers, or a member of some other village.”

  “Why?” Veee asked. She seemed not to be arguing—she seldom argued about anything—but was genuinely curious.

  “Because in my observation the Amoeba follows the path of least resistance, like water flowing downward. It is easier to make an offshoot from an existing trail than to fashion an entirely new one. The preponderance of human beings here suggests that an early trail brought one human in, and subsequently offshoots brought in others for other missions. Bem is the only completely nonhuman entity we have seen, though there are surely others farther along the trail. So a branch from one of our trails is our most likely suspect.”

  Veee nodded. “That makes sense to me.”

  “And to me, grudgingly,” Vanja said. “I note our party of five has three full humans, one half human, and one alien thing. So chances are about three and a half out of five that the guilty trail is pure human.”

  “Or seventy percent,” Tod said.

  “Exactly,” Wizard said. “That narrows down the suspects.”

  “However,” Bem said, “There was an android episode in my frame a few years back. We quelled it, but part of it might have escaped to the trail. That makes my frame a prime suspect. It should be investigated first.”

  “That makes sense,” Veee agreed.

  “But not until Wizard recovers,” Vanja said. “We might need him to bail us out or bomb something, if we get into more mischief. He needs two more days.”

  “And you are going to see that he is well taken care of,” Veee said.

  “Naturally. It’s a dirty job, but it has to be done.”

  “While I struggle to satisfy Tod’s limitless passion alone,” Veee said severely.

  “Well, I suppose we could switch places for a night, for variety or relief.”

  “No, I will struggle through,” Veee concluded.

  Tod exchanged glances with Wizard. Both managed to keep straight faces.

  “The variations of courtship seem endless,” Bem remarked. “Hitherto I had not appreciated the intricacies of teasing.”

  Then they all laughed.

  They helped the villagers move back to their original site. The villagers were duly grateful, and several maidens hinted by glances and flirts of their skirts that they would be happy to take Tod off Veee’s hands for a night, but Tod firmly demurred.

  “You could do it,” Veee murmured in the evening as she massaged his sore shoulder. She was good at it; she seemed to have the healing touch. “I
have no restrictive claim on you, and I am not the jealous type. I’m sure they would try very hard to please you.”

  “I love you.”

  “And I love you. But we have an open relationship.”

  “Because of Vanja,” he agreed.

  “Because we are in the Amoeba. We can have no relationship outside it, and when this mission is done we must return to our home worlds, and we will not see each other any more.”

  Tod stiffened. “Is this what you want?”

  She did not answer immediately, but he felt a warm drop on his back. It was a tear.

  “Come down here,” he said.

  She lay on him, her breasts at his back, her face pressing close to his face, side by side.

  “I don’t want to go home,” he said. “I want to stay here with you. On any basis you prefer, sharing sex or not, just so we can be together. We don’t have to go home; we can stay, as the villagers’ ancestors did, and live off the land.”

  “Yes,” she breathed. “But Tod, you like adventure. Will you not get bored?”

  “With you, never. With primitive village life, probably so. I’m still pondering that aspect.”

  “Whatever you want, I want,” she murmured.

  He kissed her, their lips meeting at an angle. Then he rolled over, and she rolled on top of him, clasping him face to face. They did not have sex this time; they didn’t need to. It was definitely love.

  But what about boredom? Tod knew better than to assume that love would tide them through a useless existence. He had been through this before discovering the trail. He had thought having a lovely loving woman to come home to would alleviate his dissatisfaction with life, but now he know that this would not have been enough. It wouldn’t be enough with Veee, either, or even with Veee and Vanja together, because sex was only part of his interest. When this mission for the Amoeba was done, as it seemed soon would be the case, they would be on their own again, on or off the trail, and it would in time become deadly for all three of them. Because they all craved more than sex, more than art, and, yes, more than friendship. They needed a sufficient challenge, something vital to accomplish. They had tasted real adventure, dealing with the android menace, and needed something to match that. What could it be? As yet he had no answer.