Dirty Mind (Nashville Outlaws #2)

by Cheryl Douglas

  Chee chuckled. “I have a feeling you’ll be havin’ more than one.”

  “You’re enjoying this?” I asked, side-eyeing him. “I thought you hated that little puke?” Max didn’t seem like a bad guy, but right now he was public enemy number one.

  “What I hate,” he said, looking me in the eye, “is watching assholes jerking my baby around.”

  Apparently the gloves were coming off. No more Mr. Nice Guy for Charli’s daddy. “And you think that’s what I’ve been doing?” I asked, stuffing a bill in the bartender’s tip jar, since it was an open bar. “Jerking her around?”

  “I think you want her,” he said, sneering. “But you’re too much of a pussy to man up.”

  I barely heard her old man’s taunt. She kissed him. And my world bottomed out. They were posing again, and I couldn’t tell from my angle who had initiated the kiss. I only knew her lips were on his and they belonged on mine.

  “You know what I woulda done if I’d seen someone kiss my woman like that? I’d crack his skull.”

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted, but I had too much respect for Cece and Knox to ruin their party.

  “Hey, man,” Evan Spencer walked up, shaking my hand. “Good to see you. It’s been too long.”

  I forced a smile before gesturing to the crotchety ballbuster at my side. “You remember Chee from the wedding,” I said to Evan. “Cece’s father.” To Chee, I said, “Evan’s the president of our record label.”

  “I know who he is,” Chee snapped. “Ain’t gotta be told twice.” He shook Evan’s hand. “Nice of you to show up. You must be a busy man.”

  “It’s my pleasure.” Evan smiled, deepening the lines bracketing his mouth.

  Most of the female artists on our label thought he was hotter than hell, for an older guy, but he was totally devoted to his wife and the mother of his children. According to Evan, they’d been together forever and he still regretted the years he missed out on before that.

  “Your daughter and son-in-law are two of my favorite people,” he said to Chee. “I was glad to hear Knox finally proposed. Long time coming, if you ask me.”

  “You can say that again,” Chee muttered. “But at least Knox was smart enough to figure out what he wanted before it was too late.” He hooked a thumb at me. “Can’t say the same for this guy.”

  I clenched my jaw as I watched him walk away. Someone should put the meddling old bastard in his place. But it wouldn’t be me, ‘cause he was right and we both knew it.

  Evan gave me a questioning look before he took a sip of his red wine. “I’m guessing this has something to do with his daughter. Charli, right?”

  I’d ask how he knew, but the picture that blew up on social media wouldn’t have slipped under his radar. Evan earned the big bucks to know everything about his artists. Especially the shit that could hurt the brand his company had pumped millions into building.

  “Yeah.” I stared at the woman in question, even though she’d been giving me her back most of the night. “I didn’t expect it, Ev. This woman… she’s knocked me on my ass.”

  He grinned. “That’s the way it usually is, my friend. Blindsides ya, right?”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t think I could be blindsided. Thought I was too smart, or too cynical, to go down for a third time.” I threw my drink back. “Apparently not.”

  “Who’s the guy she’s with?” Evan asked. “He’s been wrapped around her all night.”

  “Like I haven’t noticed.” The words poured out like venom, making my chest burn. “She says he’s just a friend, but it looks like a hell of a lot more than that to me.”

  “Uh huh,” Evan said, drawing my attention back to him. “And you’re not the kind of guy who sits on his hands, waiting for things to happen. So why’re you over here, seething, while buddy makes a play for your girl?”

  “You know why.” I looked him in the eye. “Can’t afford another media shitstorm, boss. Isn’t that what you told me after my last break-up? Lay low. Keep it in my pants. And shut the fuck up.” I curled my hand into a fist at my side. “Your words.”

  Evan winced. “Yeah, I might’ve been a little harsh. But I was pissed. We’d been through this before, one too many times, and I was trying to make sure you knew it couldn’t happen again.”

  “Got your message. Loud and clear.” The short leash he’d put me on that day was the only thing holding me back now. That and all strangers with cell phones, who may or may not be local reporters covering the big birthday bash for Knox.

  Cece had gone all out. Transformed their grounds with tents, live music, an open bar, and impressive catered spread. She’d even presented her new husband with a classic Corvette that used to belong to his old man. And it had taken everything in my buddy to choke back the tears when he laid one on his new bride.

  As happy as I was for them, it tore my own wound open, making me bleed a little more.

  “I know your career means everything to you,” Evan said, following my gaze to Charli. “You’ve given everything to me and Titan from day one, and I appreciate that, man.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. My career used to mean everything to me, but day by day, Charli was slowly edging it out, taking a place of prominence in my life that I never would have guessed was up for grabs.

  “I know how lucky I am, getting to do what I love,” I said, clearing my throat. “That wouldn’t be possible if you and your brother hadn’t been willing to take a chance to me. I won’t forget that. And I don’t wanna make any more trouble for you or the label.”

  “But you can’t put your career first anymore.” Evan chuckled at my look of surprise. “I wouldn’t be able to read you so easily unless I’d been where you are, Dade. I lost Erika once.” His smile slipped. “Made the mistake of putting my career first and she left me.”

  I let the air seep through my teeth, wondering how that shaped the man who had family photos lining every square inch of the credenza in his office. Erika and his kids were his world and had been since long before I met him.

  “She left you… while you were married?”

  He shook his head, looking somber. “No, we weren’t married yet. Just living together. But I gotta tell you, it gutted me. Never thought I’d get over it.” He smirked. “And I didn’t. That’s why I had to make it my mission to get her back. Everything else, including my career, took a back seat, ‘cause I knew I had to make that woman my wife.”

  I smiled in spite of my foul mood. “Nice to know some folks get their happy ending.” I tapped my glass against his. “Couldn’t happen to a nicer couple either.”

  “You deserve that too, you know,” he said, side-eyeing me. “Your happy ending. Kids. Wife. The whole nine. I know that’s what you want more than anything, so don’t even try to deny it.” Before I could agree, he said, “Platinum records and awards are nice. So are millions in the bank.” He smiled. “But take it from me, there’s nothing nicer than hearing your woman and kid tell you they love you at the end of a hellacious day. That’s the shit that puts it all in perspective.”

  “And that’s what I’ve been chasing, and failing to catch, for years.” I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, just stating a fact. Even when I chased down love, it still evaded me. As I watched Charli cozying up to the man who wanted to take my place, I had to wonder whether it was time to make peace… or go down fighting.

  Chapter 18

  Charli

  I had to give Max credit. He was a damn good actor. I’d invited him to the party with a two-part mission. Help silence the speculation about me and Dade and send a message to the man himself: it’s over.

  It killed me to see that look in Dade’s eyes though. Like I’d somehow betrayed him, but I’d done what I had to do. I couldn’t waste another day pretending he was going to come to his senses when he obviously wasn’t.

  “Let it go, beautiful,” Max said, brushing his lips over my temple. “He’s not worth it.”

  If any man had ever been w
orth the heartache it would be Dade, but my heart wasn’t strong enough for another pummeling. “I know.”

  We were locked in a slow dance, listening to Sky belt out her latest ballad about lost chances and heartbreak. She sang those lyrics like she’d lived them and the way she fixated on Archer when she sang told me they came from the heart.

  “You’ve been a really good friend,” I said, looping my arms around his neck. “Thank you for that.” I’d been spending a lot of time at Max’s place, instead of going home to the folks’ house after work. We’d been working on our music and he’d been helping me forget how lonely I was without Dade.

  I’d been upfront, told him I was in love with my boss, and he respected that. But he told me some of the best relationships were born of close friendships and he didn’t mind biding his time. I knew Max wasn’t the man for me. Even if Dade wasn’t taking up all the precious real estate in my head and heart, Max and I would never cross that line.

  Our fake kisses tonight just drove that point home. I felt nothing when his lips touched mine. Unlike Dade’s kisses… which made me feel like I might spontaneously combust.

  “Can I cut in?”

  Oh shit. Dade.

  It all started with a dance. Maybe it was meant to end with one too.

  “Uh, I don’t think—”

  “It’s okay, Max,” I said, patting his chest. “Dade and I need to talk.”

  He raised an eyebrow, silently asking if I was sure, before I brushed my lips across his cheek and thanked him with a soft smile.

  “You think this is a good idea?” I asked, trying to keep things light. “Our first dance ended with a broken bed and a lot of morning-after regret.”

  His eyes darkened as they roamed my face. His grip on my waist tightened before he whispered, “I was the stupidest sonofabitch alive to let you believe that was anything less than the best night of my life.”

  I could practically taste the liquor on his breath, and I knew that had to be the reason for his sudden declaration. Booze, jealousy and arousal made a man say just about anything, in my experience. And all three were obvious when he held me so close.

  “Big words for a man who’s had so many… thrilling nights.” I was talking about his career, but all the nameless, faceless women he’d been with flashed through my mind, stealing my breath.

  He wasn’t the only one wrestling the green-eyed monster tonight. I was too. Especially every time I spotted him talking to a beautiful woman who couldn’t tear her eyes off him.

  “Some nights you remember,” he said, his voice husky. “For the rest of your life. Every night I’ve spent with you will make that list, Charli. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  Closure. That was the word bouncing around in my head when he said that. And maybe he was after the same thing I was. Freedom from this painful hold we had over each other.

  “I love working for you,” I said, staring at nothing over his shoulder. Anything to avoid looking at him. “I’ve learned a lot, in a short time, but I think might be time to call it quits.”

  “Call it quits?” he echoed. “Seriously? You’re quitting on me?”

  “It was only supposed to be temporary,” I said, ignoring the pang of guilt and regret. “A trial run, you said.”

  He fisted his hand in my hair, looking fierce. “I know what I said, goddammit. Things change. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it too.”

  I didn’t know if the it he was referring to was wedged between my legs or lodged in my heart. “Um, people are looking at us,” I whispered, sneaking a peek to my left and right. “We probably shouldn’t be doing this here. The last thing we need is people talking—”

  “Does that worry you?” he asked, loosening his grip. “Being romantically linked to me?”

  Was that a trick question? He’d been trying to dodge that very thing since the day we met—a romantic connection. Rumors. I thought the last thing he wanted was another shot of us in an intimate moment going viral.

  “I’m not the one who has to worry.” I flattened my palm over his chest and his heart was beating even harder than mine was. Was it possible that he was afraid of losing me? “You are, remember?”

  “What if I told you I’m not afraid anymore?” There was a challenge lighting his dark eyes when he dipped his head, brushing his lips over mine. “Maybe I don’t give a goddamn what anyone says or thinks anymore, as long as I can have you.”

  My breath stuttered as I shook my head, trying to clear the fog from my brain. He was lying. He had to be. He’d fought this too long and hard to give in now.

  “Max…?” The question was raw, forcefully pushed past his lips. “What’s the deal with him? I hear you two have been spending a lot of time together. And tonight, the way he kissed you.” He gripped my chin, commanding my attention. “Pissed me off. It wasn’t a friendly peck. It was a guy pushing for more. And he can’t have more.” His hand drifted to the swell of my ass, taking our innocent dance into the danger zone. “You’re mine, Charli.”

  “No.” I licked my lips, trying to hold onto my resolve with a death grip. “You don’t want me. You want—”

  “Don’t tell me what I want.” His hands were back in my hair, holding my head steady for a kiss that made my knees soften and my body tremble. I clung to his biceps as his tongue swept through the seam of my lips. Plundering. Claiming. Solidifying.

  “Dade,” I whispered, resting my head against his chest. “We can’t do this here.”

  “Why not?” he demanded, his voice raspy. “You afraid what your boyfriend will say?”

  I let my hands fall to his waist, wrapping my arms around him like I’d wanted to all night. “You know Max isn’t my boyfriend. If you thought he was, I don’t think you would’ve kissed me like that. You may be a lot of things, but you’d never go after someone else’s girlfriend.”

  “If it were you, I just might.”

  He stole another kiss and I felt myself slipping into this sensual haze where nothing and no one else existed. Sort of like the night of my sister’s wedding. Only this time I was sober. And he already had my heart in his hand.

  “What do you want from me?” I heard the quiet desperation in the question, but I couldn’t let him continue yanking my chain. Either he was in. Or out. He wasn’t allowed to bounce back and forth anymore.

  “I want you to come home with me tonight,” he whispered in my ear. “I want you to make love to me. Tonight and every night from now on. I want you to move back in. Work for me. Travel with me.”

  He stopped just short of telling me he wanted me to love him, and those were the words I really needed to hear before we took this any further. “In other words, you want me to be your fuck buddy? Your girl Friday? Your—”

  “Stop.” He silenced me with another deep, lingering kiss. “You know you’re so much more than that.”

  “No, I don’t.” I needed him to spell it out for me. No more second-guessing. “I don’t know what I am to you, Dade. Or what you want me to be.”

  He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I’ve got a car out front. Can we just go home and talk about this, babe? You know this isn’t the time or place for—”

  “I came with Max and I’ll be leaving with him.” I wasn’t letting him put me off again. Either he said the things I needed to hear, and meant them, or I was out. For good, this time.

  “Why are you being so stubborn?” he hissed, curling his hands around my face. “Just give me a chance.”

  “I’ve given you plenty of chances. Every day we’ve spent together you had the chance to show me, and tell me, how you felt about me. And you didn’t. What makes you think you deserve another chance?”

  “Because I love you.”

  Heart meet feet. Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. “You do?”

  I couldn’t help being skeptical. It’s not like he hadn’t said those words to at least three other girls, along with a big rock and promise of forever. Maybe, when push came to shove, I was having a hard time trusting a
man who’d caused so many other women to lose their minds over him.

  “I don’t expect you to believe me,” he said, quietly. “Proving it will take time. I get that. I just need you to give me that time.”

  “What are asking?” I couldn’t process what was happening. In my mind and heart it was already over between us. I didn’t know if I could let him back in.

  “One day,” he said, looking tortured. “One night. That’s all I’ll ask for, baby. One more day. And I’ll ask for that every day until you trust me to be your forever.”

  My forever? My mouth went dry when I considered the possibility that this man could be my fiancé. My husband. I wouldn’t be his first, but maybe I could be his last. Maybe I could be the mother of his children.

  “Can I meet you back at your place?” I asked, licking my lips. “I just need a little more time, to think.”

  “Don’t think with this,” he said, touching his fingertip against my temple. “Let this guide you, sweetheart.” His finger grazed my breast as he gestured to my heart. “Please.”

  He seemed desperate, but so was I. Desperate to figure out whether Dade was the man of my dreams or my worst fucking nightmare.

  I’d taken an Uber to his place, but the security guard waved as soon as I stepped out of the car outside of his iron gates. I didn’t think Dade would appreciate me inviting a stranger inside his fortress, so I prepared for the long walk up the drive.

  It gave me a chance to think. To process his claim. He said he was in love with me. But could I believe him? And did love or a committed relationship mean the same thing to him it did to me? I had my doubts.

  I wasn’t selfish, but I did want a man who could put me first, just like I intended to put him first. I wanted someone who wouldn’t run or give up on me when things got hard. I wanted a ruthless fighter, a warrior, who’d take a bullet before he’d let someone take me away from him. Dramatic? Yes. Maybe I’d been reading too many romance novels, but damn it, I wanted a love like that. And didn’t want to settle for less. Not this time.