Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1)

by Danielle Burton

  She climbed from the bed and stood over me with her arms folded. “It’s that nappy red headed whore isn’t it?”

  I stood so I was looking down at her. I know damn well she wasn’t talking about Gabi. “What?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. You’re fucking that little bitch aren’t you?”

  “Watch your mouth.”

  “Defending her again? Big surprise.” She paced away from me with her hands on her hips. “If you were gonna cheat you could’ve done better. The bitch ain’t even cute.”

  Cheat? This girl had to be hard of hearing. My fists clenched at my sides and the vein in my temple thumped harder. “I’m warning you, Brooke.”

  “Or what Jayson?” She looked down at my fists and smirked. “You gonna hit me?”

  Now she was just being stupid. I’d never put my hands on a woman and she knew that. “Get out.”

  The smug look fell from her face. “You can’t be serious.”

  I went to the door and opened it showing her just how serious I was.

  She grabbed up her purse and shoes and glared at me as she stormed past.

  Before she opened her mouth to curse me to hell I slammed the door in her face.

  Twenty - One

  Gabi

  I did it. A month had passed and I’d survived, without him. My heart was far from healed, but the bleeding had slowed from a waterfall to a trickle. I no longer woke in the middle of the night and cried myself back to sleep. In fact, if I remembered correctly, it’d been almost two weeks since I’d shed a tear.

  I shivered against the bitter wind and pulled my hood tighter on my head. It was only a few days into December and we already had four inches of snow. Not enough for sledding yet, but maybe a fun snowball fight. As kids Jay and I’d had the best– I snapped the rubber band on my wrist, a reminder that while thoughts of him brought a temporary smile, like any other drug it never lasted and the side effects were always disastrous. Love was the most potent of the narcotics, a hard habit to break, but I was determined.

  Cam had been a big help. Whenever she caught me feeling down, she’d immediately pull me to my feet and make me dance it out. Either that or take me somewhere to distract my mind. Tonight we were heading to Angelo’s to pick up a pizza for a girl’s night in. She’d offered to go get it by herself, but I’d declined. I’d been avoiding Angelo’s long enough. I had just as much right to eat there as he did.

  Taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders, I walked inside with my head held high. I was barely in the door when our eyes connected. He was almost unrecognizable with his hair that way. Instead of his usual tapered style, it had grown out an inch or two. He also looked like he hadn’t run any clippers over his face in quite some time. His look was wild and scruffy, but it kind of worked for him. Snap.

  I continued to the bar and sat next to Cam to wait for our order. He was still watching me. I could feel his eyes on my back.

  Cam patted my hand. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” As long as he didn’t talk–I froze. From the corner of my eye I could see him, next to me. Not only that, but his signature smell, Axe body spray mixed with...him invaded my air. I grew dizzy from holding my breath, and inhaled deeply. God, I’d missed that scent.

  He signaled the bartender over to place a drink order. “Two ginger-ales, please.”

  I kept my gaze straight, and so did he.

  He sprinkled a bit of salt on the bar top and pushed it around with his index finger. “My mom misses you. I promised her I’d tell you that she wants you to visit her tomorrow.” He cleared his throat, and added more salt. “I thought we could work out a schedule, that way I can leave before you get there, and um, my dad said to call him if you need a ride.”

  Abandoning Mrs. Adams was the worst of all. I hadn’t wanted to risk running into him again. Not to mention I had no ride. Keem was the only person I knew with a car, and I wouldn’t ask him to do that for me again.

  The bartender sat the drinks in front of Jay, who took them and stood. He turned to head back to his seat, but paused. I dared not look at him but I could tell he was staring at the floor.

  His voice was nearly inaudible when he spoke. “I miss you.”

  I felt him retreat, and then I plucked a mint candy from the bowl sitting in front of me.

  Cam glanced behind her then reached over and gave me a half hug. “I’m so proud of you. That was a huge step toward leaving him in your past.”

  I rolled the peppermint over my tongue and gave a small nod. “Right.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  Sunday evening I sat in the passenger seat of Mr. Adams’ car twiddling my thumbs like a child. Before I left the Adams were like my adoptive parents, and even with the time that passed, nothing had changed. That is until now, until their son skewered my heart.

  Mr. Adams kept trying to start up a conversation, but I gave short answers, no more than five words if possible. I know they weren’t to blame for their son’s actions, but being around them was awkward. Not that I’d had any experience, but if I had to guess I’d say it was the equivalent of running into your ex-husband’s family after a messy divorce. How did I behave around them? What did I say?

  I prayed they didn’t ask for my side of the story, because I was just as lost as they were. I’d replayed the night Jay and I had kissed a million times. We’d danced together, talked and joked. I was no expert, but I was doubtful he was drunk like he said, so why he’d lied was beyond me. If it was truly because his lack of feelings for me, and trying to get out of the situation, then why had he told me he loved me?

  He’d uttered that phrase probably a million times over the course of our friendship, but something about that one felt different, real...final. And then moments later, her name had graced his lips. He’d chosen her, and had the audacity to tell me at Juniper Lake, shattering my soul and forever tarnishing our sacred place.

  I’d watched them together, listened when he’d confided in me about how they always fought, how she’d betrayed him. He couldn’t honestly love her more. But then again, if he could accept her after all that, maybe he did.

  I pressed the automatic window button to let in some cool air, and hopefully stop my suffocating thought pattern.

  Mr. Adams stole a quick glance at me before turning the corner. “How are finals going?”

  I took a deep breath before speaking, less my pain be conveyed in my voice. “Good I hope. Only a couple more weeks then I can start my winter break.”

  “You visiting your folks?”

  I nodded. “My dad wants me to come down. I think it’ll be good to get away for a while.”

  He stopped at a traffic light and turned his head to look at me. “I don’t know all the details with what went on between you two, and it isn’t my place to speak on it, but I know he loves you.”

  I met his dark eyes. They were so much like Jay’s. “How do you know that?”

  He smiled, looking both ways before pulling off. “He’s my son.”

  We arrived at their house a while later and I made my way inside to see Mrs. Adams.

  A nurse was helping her back into bed when I entered the room. I controlled my emotions best I could and sat in the chair at her bedside. “Hi, Mrs Adams.”

  She offered me a smile that looked closer to a grimace. Her eyes were sunken in and her frame was so thin I could probably count her bones if I tried. Her frail hand grasped mine. “Hey sweetie, haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “I’m sorry about that.” I started to tell her how busy I’d been but didn’t have the heart to lie to her face, so I ended my apology there.

  “I told my son he’s lucky I’m dying and don’t have the strength to get out this bed and whoop his tail.” She laughed at her own joke, which quickly escalated into a coughing fit.

  I grabbed a small cup of ice water from her tray on the night stand and helped her take a few sips.

  “Thank you, baby. My throat gets so dry these days.”

  I sat th
e cup back in its place then turned to her again. “Jay told you what happened?”

  “Not in so many words. But I knew something was up when you stopped coming to visit, and when he was walking around here looking like a sick puppy. That boy should know by now he can’t hide anything from me.”

  I chuckled softly. That was true. When we were younger she could always sense when we were up to no good. “What all did he say?”

  “Just how much he regretted the way things ended.”

  “But not that they ended.” I stared down at my jeans, picking at the tiny rhinestones encrusted on them.

  Mrs. Adams patted my hand. “That part is pretty obvious.” She beckoned me near and brushed my hair away from my face. “I know it may seem like all is lost right now, but trust me, when love is meant to be, there’s nothing in the universe powerful enough to stop it.”

  I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be, my doubts were plenty, but I smiled at her anyway. “Jay and Benji are lucky to have you Mrs. Adams.”

  She frowned and tapped my nose. “No more of that Mrs. Adams’s nonsense. You call me Mama.”

  I reared back a bit, searching her resilient eyes. “Y-you want me to call you mom?”

  She cupped my cheek and smiled big, looking in my eyes. “I may not have carried you in my womb or nursed you, but you are my daughter.”

  I sniffled, unable to fight my tears any longer, and hugged her close. “I love you...mom.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart.” She patted my back and spoke softly. “It’ll work itself out.”

  The visit was cut short when she fell asleep in the middle of our conversation. It hurt my heart to watch her fading away, and reminded me that life wasn’t a promise, but a gift.

  ~ ♥ ~

  Tuesday morning I woke bright and early for one last study session before my Physics final. It was my toughest class and I was stoked that it was almost over.

  I smiled thinking of my first college semester coming to an end. Boy what an experience it had been. Basically high school with slightly older and equally childish students. I’d been slapped both literally and figuratively, Jay’s being the latter.

  Then there was Keem, the guy with a heart three sizes too big. I missed him some days. The way he could always lift my spirits with one flash of that lopsided smile. We’d only spoken in passing since the night he’d taken me to visit Jay’s parents, which was my doing. It was hard to miss the longing in his eyes when he looked at me. That with his confession of love and I knew I couldn’t torture him. Especially with knowing how it felt to have to be around the person you loved and not have them.

  Not only that, but I couldn’t risk making the mistake we’d almost made that night in his bed. With him naked from the belt up, and me on top of him, trying to undo said belt. Luckily he’d had more self-control than I did and had stopped us, preferring to hold me while I cried against his chest.

  The last day we’d spoken, the day I’d told him it was best if we severed all ties, including friendship, I’d tried to apologize again for using him. He’d shushed me, saying if that’s what it felt like to be used he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He was gonna make some girl very happy one day.

  Cam came out of the bathroom and plopped down on her bed with her hands covering her face.

  I sat my pen down and looked her over. “Everything okay?”

  “No.” She covered her face with a pillow and growled into it.

  I glanced at my watch, and then went to sit next to her. I had just enough time for a girl talk. “What’s wrong?”

  Lifting the pillow, she frowned. “My gold digging mother is what’s wrong. She’s getting remarried.”

  “I take it that’s bad?”

  “Yes, it’s bad.” She sat up and hugged the pillow. “This is husband number four since my dad left, and this guy is decrepit. I’m all for marrying rich, but this is just ridiculous.” She flopped back again, this time whining. “I really don’t want to spend my winter break with them.”

  “Then don’t. Why don’t you come home with me?”

  She sprang back up like a Jack in the Box. “Really? You’d let me spend Christmas with you and your family?”

  “Of course, crazy girl. It’s about time they met my new sister.”

  A big grin spread across her face and she nearly squeezed the life out of me in a bear hug. Her strength was a mystery. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re the best person ever.”

  I hugged her back, giggling when I could finally breathe. “I love you, too.”

  The rest of my day was surprisingly drama and stress free. I was pretty confident in my final grade for the class, so I decided a little celebration was in order. Cam had been gabbing on about this party she wanted to go to, and even though it was a Tuesday, I agreed.

  In a few hours I’d be dancing it up with my awesome best friend, who I hoped wouldn’t abandon me to flirt.

  I regretted my decision to attend the party as soon as I stepped over the threshold. It was a frat party, and drunken party-goers swarmed like flies. Loud rap music blasted from the speakers, and there was a keg set up in the corner surrounded by half-dressed girls, letting those same drunken frat brothers do body shots off their naked abdomens. “What the hell, Cam? You know this isn’t close to being my scene.”

  She sent an eye roll my way. “Live a little, will ya?”

  “I live just fine, I just prefer to do it with my clothes on.”

  A smirk curved her lips. “Where’s the fun in doing it with your clothes on? I prefer butt naked with my face buried in a pillow to muffle–”

  “Cam! I’d rather not hear the details.”

  “Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. Men can enjoy sex. Why can’t we?”

  “I didn’t say we couldn’t.”

  “Then,” she unzipped my coat and took it away. “Loosen up, go dance with one of these sexy frat boys, and if one happens to get a little friendly and grabs your ass, let him. No harm in being a little naughty every now and then.”

  I stood still as a statue, gawking at her and wondering what sex demon had taken over my best friend.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not Benji for God sake. I just see nothing wrong with occasional, protected, casual sex.”

  “I respect that, but it’s just not me. If any of these bozos grab my ass, they’re walking away with at least one body part broken, namely the one hanging between their legs.”

  Cam threw her head back, cackling like a hyena. Little did she know, I was dead serious. Her laugh was cut off when a guy came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped and spun toward him, a smile crossing her face when she looked up. “Hey sexy.”

  “Hey yourself, my beautiful Egyptian Goddess.” He kissed her roughly, grabbing a handful of her butt...make that two.

  I stood to the side in my awkward bubble, fighting the urge to leave while she was paying me no mind.

  Before I could make my escape, he released her and she turned to face me. “Gabi this is Roderick. Rod, this is my best friend.”

  I glanced up at him and waved, noting his boyish blonde quiff, and stormy gray eyes.

  He responded with a nod before turning his attention to Cam and leaning close to her ear.

  She giggled and nodded.

  He gave her another quick kiss before vanishing into the crowd.

  “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

  She waved me off with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t. I just let him buy me nice things.” She raised her left wrist. “This tennis bracelet is from Tiffany’s. So is the necklace. And the best part, I haven’t even slept with him.”

  I nodded, my mouth sealed shut. Her actions were similar to a certain maternal figure mentioned earlier, but I kept my thoughts to myself, not wanting to cause an argument.

  She continued on with her bragging. “I swear that man worships me. I call and he comes running. All I have to do is let him think he’s getting closer to his priz
e. Allow him to occasionally cop a feel and he’s putty in my hands.” A proud grin spread over her face. “Speaking of which, mama needs a new pair of earrings. Maybe I’ll let him get me out of my bra tonight.” With that she turned and merged into the crowd, abandoning me.

  I cursed, realizing she still had my coat.

  My search for Cam was a bust, so I grabbed a non-alcoholic beverage and explored the house. The first floor didn’t interest me so I headed to the basement. Hopefully it was less crowded with sweaty drunk people.

  Someone passed me on the way up, bumping my shoulder. My drink sloshed, some of the contents spilling onto my sweater.

  “Watch it, Carrot Top.” The voice squeaked.

  My grip tightened on my plastic cup, forcing the rest of my juice out and over my hand as I watched Brooke ascend the remaining steps. My month of heart ache played in my head, all my time waiting, watching her on his arm for nothing. All while she was rude to me and rubbed it in my face. I’d held my tongue for Jay’s sake, but since we were no longer friends, I owed this bitch a slap.

  I marched up the steps, my hand tingling with anticipation. By the time I made it back to the main body of the party I’d lost sight of her. Dammit.

  Twenty - Two

  Jay

  “Get up.”

  I lifted one of my lids to frowned at Benji who stood over my bed before closing it again. “I’d rather not.”

  My head bounced against the mattress, and my eyes popped open to glare at him.

  He now held my pillow raised above his head. A smirked formed on his lips as he whacked my face with it. “Get your ass up.”

  I reached for the pillow but he moved it away. “You must be out of your damn mind.”

  “You’ve been moping around this room for weeks. You look like a homeless person, and if not for your long crying sessions in the shower you’d probably smell like one too.”

  I gave up trying to retrieve my pillow and flopped back with my arms crossed. “No one’s crying.”