Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1)

by Danielle Burton

  I searched his eyes for the truth. He didn’t exactly have a reason to lie. It wasn’t like he still needed to make Jayson jealous.

  Satisfied, I handed him the food and slid out of the car.

  We made it inside his dorm room without incident, but my lungs burned from holding my breath so long. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if I’d seen Jay. Cry, run, slap his stupid face again maybe. Thankfully I didn’t have to find out.

  Slipping out of my shoes, I followed Keem over to his dresser where he sat down the food. A picture stuck to the mirror caught my eye. Each of the smiling faces bore a strong resemblance to Haikeem.

  He stood behind me, his body a breath away from mine. “That there’s the tribe.”

  I glanced up at his smiling face. “I remember you saying you had a lot of siblings, but sheesh, how many of you are there?”

  He chuckled, gazing down at me. “Ten. Six boys, four girls.”

  “Yikes. Your mom must me a hell of a lady.”

  This time his laughter filled the room. “Yeah, she is. Not because of the child bearing though. A few of us are from my dad’s first marriage and there’s a set of twins, so–”

  “Thank you.”

  His laughter died, one side of his mouth lifting in a half smile. “No need to thank me. I’m just being a friend.”

  An incredible one that I didn’t deserve. My mind filled with all the fun times Keem and I had. He had a way numbing my pain, and right now, every part of me hurt. Blinking, speaking... breathing. I needed Novocain.

  Gripping the front of his shirt, I pulled his face close to mine and stole a kiss. Just a small one to gauge his reaction.

  He simply stared at me, his eyes searching mine.

  I pressed my lips to his again, guiding my tongue over them to delight in his sweet cinnamon pain reliever.

  He broke away, his brows squished together as he searched my face again. “Gabi...”

  “Please?”

  He blinked twice then surrendered, stealing my lips away and giving me more of his tongue. His hands gripped my waist, inching me forward while he moved back. Soon we were on top if his covers, legs tangled, lips locked. Wrong as it was, in that moment I didn’t care. I’d kiss him for eternity if it erased any and every ounce of the ache in my soul.

  ~ ♥ ~

  Keem’s warm hand enveloped mine as we walked down the stairs of his dorm.

  I stopped and turned to face him. “Thank you again, for last night.”

  He moved down a step and leaned on the railing, looking up at me. “Stop thanking me, Gabi. You know I care about you.”

  “I’m sorry for...”

  “And stop apologizing.” He flashed me a smile. “I don’t want you to ever regret me. Because I will never regret being with you, Gabi.” He lifted my hand and brushed a kiss against my knuckles.

  I cupped his face, staring into the eyes of what had to be the sweetest guy on the planet. “You’re so amazing. Maybe we could try–”

  He shook his head. “As much as I’d like that, it’d never work. Not right now anyway. You were hurting and needed comfort, I get that. But you and I both know your heart still belongs to him.” He brushed my tear away that I didn’t even try to fight. “Give it some time. When your heart heals, if you still want to give it a try, I’d be more than willing. But not before. I’m in love with you, Gabrielle. I could never be your rebound, because if you ever become mine again, I’m not letting you go.” Drawing me near, he pecked my lips. “I mean it.”

  The door above us banged open causing me to jump and jerk my head in that direction. Looking down at us was Benji, and a right behind him...Jay.

  Twenty

  Jay

  Haikeem and Gabi.

  I scrounged around in the Tim Horton’s bag while Benji drove us to my parent’s Sunday morning. We were taking his car because I hadn’t slept a wink and didn’t trust myself behind the wheel.

  Gabi and Haikeem.

  Last night had been hell, all Saturday had. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them, naked and tangled in the sheets. Him loving her body the way I should’ve been.

  I’d texted her a hundred times and called her twice that amount. She wouldn’t answer.

  My little strawberry shortcake was gone. He had her and I’d have to live with it for the rest of my life. Even though I’d considered the possibility of her being with him, happy, I didn’t think she’d actually do it, and I didn’t think it would screw with my head so much. Looking down on them in that stairwell, my choice had become a reality. Her hair was disheveled like it was every morning, meaning she’d spent the night. I’d pushed her into another man’s arms.

  Upon seeing me, her eyes had widened before she’d turned and rushed down the remaining stairs, dragging him with her.

  By the time I made it outside they were gone.

  I tossed the paper bag into the center console with a growl. “What the hell, Benj?”

  He looked at me from the corner of his eye and frowned. “What?”

  “You didn’t get any cream. How am I supposed to drink my coffee?”

  He kept his eyes on the road as he merged onto the freeway. “Maybe if you’d taken your grumpy ass in instead of pouting in the car you’d have cream.”

  His chuckling set me on edge. “Screw you.”

  “I don’t see what you’re pissed about. You let her go. Remember?”

  “It’s been a week.”

  “And? You were never in a relationship. She doesn’t owe you anything. And you have a lot of nerve feeling any type of way about it.”

  “Cool it, Benj.”

  “No. Gabi may not be my best friend, but I care about her too. It was beyond fucked up the way you handled things. That girl loves the hell out of you, and you and I both know you’ve always felt the same. But instead of facing up to it weeks ago, you chose to string that shit along until you were ready. Now you got the audacity to be pissed ‘cause she moved the hell on after you screwed with her heart for how long? You made your choice, so leave her alone. Let her be happy with him if she wants to.”0

  I readjusted my position, grimacing at the pain in my chest. “Screwing with her heart was never my intention, but what was I supposed to do, just break up with my girlfriend?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  “What kind of man would that make me? Dumping one woman for another? It was an impossible situation. Hurt one, or both. Yeah Brooke and I had our problems but I wasn’t trying to hurt her either. I know I fucked up. The last thing I need right now is a lecture from you.”

  “Why? Because I’m a fuck up and can’t possibly know what I’m talking about?”

  I faced him, noting the deep frown creasing his forehead. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “Whatever, we all know Benji’s the screw up of the family. How could I not be, look who my mother is. But regardless of my indiscretions, at least I can say I’ve never broken a girl’s heart. Or gotten one pregnant.”

  “I know I screwed things up, I don’t need you to remind me.”

  “Nah, you don’t. She’s your first, you’ll never forget her.”

  Heat gripped my heart as she invaded my mind again, wrapped in his arms. “I just can’t believe she slept with him.”

  “What makes you so sure she did? You know Gabi’s not like that.”

  “Yeah, but I also know how fragile she can be. It’s not far-fetched that she’d seek comfort from her ex. She’s not as tough as she acts, and if he took advantage of her I’ll kill him.”

  Benji glanced at me and chuckled. “Easy tiger.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  I jumped out of my sleep and took in my new surroundings. Benji nudged my shoulder again before climbing from the car.

  For a while I just sat there, psyching myself up for the charade I was about to put on for my mom. It was hard to be excited to see her when I was lying to her face. I doubted she’d believe Gabi had a cold a second week in a row. But how could I come clean? As bad as my
mom felt last week, I didn’t want to do or say anything to push her over the edge. I exited the car and dragged myself up the walk way.

  When I got to the kitchen only Pops and Benji sat at the table. “Mom upstairs?”

  Pops nodded, sipping on his coffee. The stress of my mother being sick had aged him. His hair was starting to gray at the temples. While he was no strapping young man, he looked well over the forty-two he’d turned just a few months prior.

  “How is she?”

  “Sleeping a lot.” He sat down his mug and pushed at his food.

  Even Benji was only staring at his plate.

  I took a seat at the table but made no moves toward any food. The house was thick with silence, the three of us grieving over the inevitable. I was hoping she’d have a good day today so I could see her smile or hear her laugh. Maybe even watch her favorite movies.

  Eventually I made my way upstairs to peek in on her. She was so frail beneath her covers, vanishing before my eyes. A world without Nicollete Adams in it was none at all. Everyone’s lives were better with her around. She had this way of smiling in which you couldn’t help but return it, even if all you wanted to do was cry. I needed her smile.

  Upon inspecting the room further, I noticed a wheel chair near her bed, and in the corner sat a young woman in scrubs, a nurse. She offered a tiny smile and waved at me. The most I could give was a nod as I ducked in to kiss my mother’s forehead then retreated to my own room.

  I lay in bed staring at the wall with a heavy heart, squeezing a pillow to my chest. The feathery sack wasn’t good enough. Nothing was, because not one thing on earth could compare to Gabi’s arms around me and mine around her. I needed her here, hugging me tight, kissing my face, and not telling me things would be okay when I knew they wouldn’t, but still making me feel like it was possible because she was there. I needed my best friend.

  I woke to darkness, well almost. Some jackass was shining their high beams right into my room. I stretched on the way over to the window and looked out. A black car sat in the driveway. Two people were in the front but I couldn’t make out any faces.

  The passenger door opened, and someone exited. When they passed into front of the car I got a glimpse of red. Gabi?

  Rushing down the stairs, I prayed my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. When I made it to the door Benji was already there, blocking my view. I elbowed past him, stopping when I was in front of her, only the threshold separated us. “Gabi.”

  She took a couple steps back, refusing to look at me.

  I was two seconds away from dropping to my knees and begging her forgiveness when the high beams shut off and the light inside the car clicked on. He’d done so on purpose, wanted me to see him, to rub it in my face.

  My fists shook at my sides and my jaw clenched so hard I was close to popping a tooth. “You brought him here?”

  She looked past me, addressing Benji. “Could you tell your cousin I thought you’d be gone by now?”

  I turned, shoved Benji back, and slammed the door. When I faced her again she was shooting daggers at me.

  “You don’t have to talk through him.”

  She shook her head and turned her back on me.

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  “Home.”

  I caught her hand as she reached the last step. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”

  She snatched away, fire in her eyes as she glared up at me. “No. You don’t get to do that. Who I do or don’t sleep with is none of your concern, you lost that privilege.”

  “Gabi, I’m sorry.” I reached for her again as she turned, but someone gripped my shoulder. I glanced behind me and shrugged out of my father’s hold.

  “Gabrielle.”

  She spun and faced us at the sound of my dad’s voice. “Hi, Mr. Adams.”

  “Why don’t you go inside and visit with Nicollete, she’s awake now.”

  Gabi left almost two feet of space as she circled me, heading toward the house.

  I marched toward his car. He must’ve been out of his mind coming to my house with my– Before I could reach my destination, my dad grabbed me again, this time dragging me away.

  He led me by the scruff of my neck toward the side of the house and pinned me to the bricks with his forearm against my collar bone. “What do you think you’re doing? You gonna kick this guy’s ass for a mistake you made?”

  “But Pops–”

  “Whatever happened was your doing. Be angry all you want, but don’t you dare take it out on anyone else.” He released me and stepped away. “Now, you and I both know where Gabi belongs. Fix it.” With that he walked away, leaving me to contemplate his words.

  I had no idea how to fix something that was shattered to pieces. All the glue and cement in the world couldn’t rebuild what we’d shared.

  ~ ♥ ~

  My Monday classes couldn’t end fast enough. I headed toward Angelo’s with a determined stride. Benji trailed behind trying to talk me down.

  “I’m telling you, all this is gonna do is make things worse. If you think Gabi hates you now, what do think will happen if you beat up her boyfriend?”

  I spun and shoved his chest. “He’s not her boyfriend. And I told you, I’m just going to talk to him.” I closed the remaining distance to Angelo’s then yanked open the door.

  A quick scan of the area, and I spotted him heading for the bathroom, giving me the perfect opportunity. I made it inside just as he was washing his hands, and stood with my arms folded waiting for him to finish.

  He shut off the sink, pausing when he faced me and Benji. He sized us up before continuing with his business, and grabbing some paper towel. When he tried to pass I held out my arm, stopping him, and giving him a light push backward.

  Closing his eyes, he released a heavy sigh like I was wasting his time. “What?”

  I yoked him up before he could blink, pinned him against the wall, and looked him dead in the eye. “Did you sleep with her?”

  He arched a brow and smirked. “Define sleep.”

  Benji grabbed my wrist before I could break Haikeem’s nose.

  I shook him off and gripped Haikeem’s collar tighter. “Don’t play with me. I…she wasn’t herself, and if you took advantage of her...”

  His initial response was a snicker, but then his face fell flat. “You know what the difference between me and you is?” When I didn’t acknowledge his question, he continued. “Unlike you, I’m not an asshole. I held her close, kissed her, could’ve made sweet love to her all night long, but I didn’t.” My grip loosened and he shoved me away. “She cried into my pillow about what you did to her. I’d have been a bigger jackass than you to try anything. She needed a friend and I was there.” He fixed his shirt and straightened his name tag. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to get back to.”

  “Wait.”

  He turned, a scowl etched on his face. “Why? So you can harass me some more?”

  I stared at him for a moment, my pride preventing me from admitting the better man had won, even if they were just friends. “Take care of her. I’ve put her through enough, don’t let any other assholes screw with her heart.”

  With one brow raised, he gave a slight nod before turning to leave.

  ~ ♥ ~

  Brooke’s voice filtered through my bubble of pain but I didn’t hear what she’d said and couldn’t care less. She’d shown up at my dorm twenty minutes ago wanting to ‘chill’. I only agreed because of the life growing inside her. For my child’s sake I would at least try to get along with its mother.

  Another week had passed and Gabi’s absence was starting to take its toll. Every breath I took was a struggle. I was living with half a heart. The part that Gabi held had fled the same night she’d walked away, sinking to the bottom of the lake along with her necklace. Our bond was beyond broken. I’d severed it.

  I kept telling myself I’d done the right thing. It was selfish of me to try to hold on to her with where my life was heading.
So why did what remained of my heart fail to beat?

  I leaned back against the head board and took a long look at Brooke. For the life of me I couldn’t remember the last time we’d been happy. Even before she’d cheated on me all we’d ever done was fight. I struggled to recall what I’d seen in her in the first place.

  In high school she was the girl every guy wanted and every girl wanted to be. Somehow I’d been the one lucky enough to have Brooke Harrison on my arm. Only now I wasn’t so sure luck had anything to do with it. Brooke played her hand well. Whatever she wanted, she got, no matter who she had to step on to get it.

  After our six-month hiatus she’d convinced me she’d changed and I was the biggest idiot in the world for believing so. And now I’d gone and shackled myself to her for life.

  “Did you hear me, Jayson?” She twisted her mouth and looked down her nose at me.

  I arched a brow at her and returned the look. “What?”

  “I said, why are you sitting there moping?”

  I shook my head and let out a sad chuckle. “Nothing, Brooke.”

  She frowned for a minute then a smile spread across her face with the likeness of a cat who’d finally captured its prey. She slunk over to me on all fours and eased her way between my legs. “I know what’ll cheer you up.” Her hand slithered beneath my shorts inching toward my manhood.

  I caught it and pushed it away. “Don’t.”

  She reared her head back looking like she’d just smelled something rancid. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.”

  Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Who is she?”

  I released a hard sigh and crossed my arms. “Who is who?”

  “The girl you’re fuckin’. I know your appetite for sex, Jayson, and seeing that you haven’t fucked me in a few weeks you gotta be getting it from somewhere.”

  I almost laughed at her audacity to accuse me of anything. “I’m not fucking anyone Brooke. That includes you. We’re having a child together, that’s it. We’re not together and we never will be again. “