Reintegration

by Eden S. French

  Amity blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

  “You just—” Sarabelle took a deep breath. “Fine. I have to remind myself that you aren’t creative types down here. No, you’re goose-stepping paramilitary morons with sticks wedged so firmly up your asses, the act of shitting freely is but a distant memory.”

  “I suggest you watch your tongue.”

  “Oh yes, I’m sure you’d love to tear out my ovaries and then hang me with them, you bloodthirsty ass.” Sarabelle flailed a hand in the direction of Lexi, who was ascending the stairs with one arm around Riva. “Somebody tell that cyborg to get back here. I need to interview her before it’s too late.”

  “You know her name,” said Kade. “Don’t ‘that cyborg’ her. And I can guarantee you she’s not interested in an interview.”

  “Of course not. She’s dragging off that pink-haired woman, hoping for one last explosion of Sapphic passion before the Codists run her out of town. Her reputation does her justice.” Sarabelle clenched her fists. “Damn it, she’s getting away. Kade, call her back.”

  “You could always talk to Zeke. I’m sure he’d love to be interviewed.”

  “The body-modder?” Sarabelle glanced at Zeke, who was snooping on Nikolas and Mineko’s conversation. “I hear he’s weird, though.”

  “He’s a charming man,” said Amity. “Go talk to him.” She placed both hands on Sarabelle’s back and pushed her in Zeke’s direction. “Go on. Get.”

  “Don’t you handle me. I’ll talk to whom I please. His surname is Lukas, right?” Taking her recorder from her pocket, Sarabelle approached Zeke with the furtive gait she always assumed when stalking her prey.

  Amity gave Kade a wry look. “You and your infinite forbearance. Now, let’s go see what nonsense Nikolas is putting into that girl’s head.”

  Mineko and Nikolas were still in intense discussion, each appearing as serious as the other. They broke off as Kade and Amity approached.

  “Hello,” said Mineko. “Are you the woman I spoke to on the phone yesterday?”

  “Yes. I’m Amity White. You warned me about the helicopter, and for that, I’m grateful.”

  “It was my fault they located you. I don’t deserve any praise.”

  “I said you had my gratitude, not my praise. In any case, if Lexi has vouched for you, then the question of your worth is entirely resolved. Nikolas, I suggest we give Ms. Tamura whatever she requires, assist Callie with the servicing of her van, and send these people on their way.”

  “In time.” Nikolas flashed a boyish grin. “First, we need to compose some kind of message to accompany our brave voyagers. I was just now telling Mineko about our friend Kristiano Iglesia and how he should perhaps not be informed of Mineko’s true identity. It would put her at considerable risk.”

  “You don’t trust your own man?” said Kade.

  “He does believe in the cause. The Port Venn chapter has always remained loyal. But his broader values are questionable.”

  “Lieutenant Commander Iglesia is an excellent soldier,” said Amity. “But that’s the extent of the kind words I have for that bastard. Keep Mineko’s identity secret, and even more importantly, conceal Project Sky from him. He’d use Lexi as a weapon.”

  Nikolas raised an eyebrow. “Wasn’t that your own intention?”

  “I’ve since learned the error of my thinking.”

  “Excellent. Now, I have a further proposition. I believe we should send a loyal comrade of the Foundation Chapter to act as my official delegate. I’ve considered the options and have decided upon Riva Latour. Naturally, Amity, I require your approval.”

  That was a serious promotion—from kitchen hand to Nikolas’s proxy. Amity seemed taken aback, but the strongest reaction came from Mineko, who looked as though somebody had forced a lemon into her mouth.

  “Min,” Kade said. “Why don’t you go help Callie with the van? She could probably use an extra pair of hands.”

  Mineko gave a curt nod. “I’ll do that. When will you be leaving?”

  “Well, I’m a liability here. My presence puts all these good people at risk. But I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  “Please don’t.” Mineko pivoted on her heel and headed toward the van. Callie looked up, smiled and waved.

  “Interesting.” Amity continued to frown in Mineko’s direction. “She clearly disapproves of Riva. Why?”

  “They may need to warm to each other,” Nikolas said. “It takes time for Codists to adjust. Even so, she’s a charming girl. Controlled, understated intelligence. Wonderfully poised. Don’t you agree, Amity?”

  “Yes, she’s impressive, especially when you consider her age. But she also makes me uneasy. There’s a remoteness to her.”

  “She’s just lost her parents. I’m sure she’s not quite herself.”

  “I’m sure you’re right. Let’s rescue Zeke from Sarabelle and bring her to help take care of the paperwork. She may actually be useful for once.”

  “Ah, yes.” Nikolas rubbed the creased flesh of his forehead. “Sarabelle.”

  They found the unlikely pair consulting behind a jeep. Far from needing rescue, Zeke seemed to be reveling in Sarabelle’s attention.

  “…right at the windshield,” he said, complete with frantic hand gestures. “Bam! Shatters the fucking glass! And then Amity pumps the shotgun and says, ‘Bring it, bitches, I’ll put the next one right up your ass—’”

  “I did not say that,” said Amity. “Be quiet, you ridiculous little man.”

  “Oh, sure, not exactly. But that was your attitude, right? And then we were on the road again. Callie’s like a fucking demon behind the wheel. Shut-ins roaring behind us in hot pursuit. Lexi’s clutching me and screaming—”

  “What about the helicopter?” Sarabelle appeared to have absorbed Zeke’s manic energy. “Was it still chasing you?”

  “Oh, yeah. That fucker was zooming over the road like some kind of angel of death. And that Reed guy, he’s all leaning out its door, shouting abuse, you know, saying, ‘I’m gonna get you, I’m comin’ for you, you’re all dead meat!’”

  “Lachlan Reed said that?”

  “No, not exactly, but I was paraphrasing, you know? And then—” Zeke mimed shooting. “Lexi takes a shot. Pow! And she misses!”

  “You have it out of order,” said Kade. “She fired at Lachlan before Amity broke the windscreen.”

  “Man, fuck the shut up, huh?” As usual, Zeke didn’t seem to care whether his words made sense to anyone but himself. “Linear conceptions of time do not do this madness justice. Now listen. A guy rides up on a fucking bike, all ready to hurl a grenade. I’m shitting myself. Feces pooling around my feet. And Lexi’s like, ‘Someone save us!’ She’s in tears. And then Kade gets out his gun and just ices the biker. One shot. Boom! Dead shut-in.”

  “Kade killed someone?” Sarabelle glowered at Kade. “I don’t pay him to kill people.” She tapped a button on her recorder. “Can you all go away? You’re interrupting my interview.”

  “I don’t got to stop yet, do I?” said Zeke. “I want to tell the part where Rusalka throws down with Reed. The shut-in cyborg versus the biggest woman to ever lick blood off a switchblade. You coulda sold tickets to that fight. Wish I’d seen it.”

  Amity took hold of Zeke’s shoulders, and he gave an indignant yelp as she forcibly moved him aside. “Go play elsewhere,” she said. “I’m sure Mineko would love hearing your absurd stories.”

  Zeke brightened. “Oh, yeah, she would! I could tell her about the thing that went down at Raffo’s place.”

  “The Mutant?” Sarabelle brandished her tape recorder again. “What does he have to do with this? Is Vassago involved as well?”

  “Later,” said Kade. “We have duties, comrade. Correspondence needs to be written, people have to be notified. Zeke, we’ll see you around.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Zeke gave Amity an insolent grin before scuttling off.

  “An amusing man, but entirely mad,” said Sarabelle. “Kade
, you’d better give me a clear and lucid account later.”

  “I can’t promise it’ll be comprehensive, but I can guarantee it’ll make more sense than anything Zeke just told you.” Kade clapped her on the shoulder. “Cheer up, boss. Maybe we’ll finally have that drink.”

  “You know that’ll never happen now. Not with the target on your head.” Sarabelle sighed. “Come on, then. Let’s get this over and done with. ”

  * * *

  After an hour of arguing—Amity griping at Nikolas, Sarabelle griping at Amity, Nikolas griping at both of them, Kade trying not to laugh—the worst of the formalities were concluded. Nikolas sat at his desk, looking weary, while Sarabelle frowned at the letter they’d written for Kristiano Iglesia.

  “Are you really sure about this last sentence?”

  “Yes,” said Nikolas. “Yes, I am sure.”

  “Fine. Commit crimes against the English language. Take the final step into anarchy.”

  “With great pleasure.” Nikolas opened his drawer, took out a flask and set it on the table with a resonant tap. “Excuse my rudeness, but I’m not offering this to anyone else.”

  “I don’t think anyone else would want it,” Amity said. “Knowing you, that’s straight vodka in there.”

  “A little taste of reality.” As Nikolas unscrewed the flask, he gave Amity a level look. “There’s something else on your mind, isn’t there?”

  “Yes. Commander Reinhold, I formally resign my position.”

  Sarabelle gasped. No doubt Kade looked as stunned. Amity loved her ranking position. This was as impossible as Lexi Vale giving up women.

  Yet Nikolas didn’t seem surprised. “Elaborate.”

  “All of Foundation will be hunting for Kade. He needs a bodyguard who can stand fast against an entire city.”

  “Amity…” Kade faltered. He’d intended to make this sacrifice alone. It was unimaginable that someone else would make it with him.

  Nikolas stared at his hands—those large, strong hands that Kade had never seen used for violence. “Your request is granted. I’ll sleep better knowing he’s in your care. But I hope you understand that I’ll be unable to replace you.”

  A faint smile softened Amity’s tired face. “You were always threatening to demote me.”

  “I never would have done it.” Nikolas motioned to the door. “I’m going to say farewell to you now, Comrade August. Sarabelle and I need to talk in private about the future of the revolution.”

  “I’m sorry about the trouble I’ve caused,” Kade said. “But I don’t think the Codists will come after you. Lachlan’s looking out for us.”

  “I know you want to believe that, but he’s only looking out for himself.” Nikolas took a swig of vodka and set the flask aside. “One last thing. If Audra is carrying a boy, I’d like to name him Kade. How do you feel about that? And if it’s a girl—”

  Kade smiled. “You’ll name her Ash.”

  “Please be careful out there, comrade. We need you.”

  Kade and Amity left Nikolas still drinking and Sarabelle glaring at the letter. Amity set off down the hallway at her usual brisk stride, and Kade tried to keep pace.

  “Who do you trust?” she said. “That’s the first thing we need to establish.”

  “I have a friend at the Gazette I can count on. Nice guy. Fond of animals. He knows the city as well as anyone, so he might be able to think of a place for us to hide.”

  “Good. We need to distance ourselves from Open Hand for a time.” Amity licked her lips, for the first time betraying a trace of anxiety. “In my absence, I hope Nikolas reinforces his personal guard. Especially given one of his better soldiers is compromised.”

  “Compromised? That’s the word you use for pregnant?”

  “I consider it an accurate term. Nikolas is too gentle to protect himself, which is why he keeps me at his side.” Amity gave a sharp laugh. “It’s strange. I despised his weakness even as I admired him for it. He never would have risen to the leadership of Open Hand without my backing, yet without his kindness, I wouldn’t even be here. I’d be a bloodthirsty creature on the street, another ghoul feeding on death and chaos.”

  “I’m glad you aren’t. There are more than enough of those.”

  “They exist in Port Venn too. If Lexi is complacent even for a moment—”

  Before Amity could finish speaking, Riva walked around the corner with a cardboard box in her arms. Her Mohawk had been restored to its towering splendor, and she wore a smile heartbreaking in its intensity. As she noticed Kade and Amity, the smile wavered.

  “Riva.” Amity nodded at the box. “What’s this?”

  “My belongings. I’m going to Port Venn.”

  “I’m glad.” Amity took the box from Riva’s unresisting hands and set it on the floor. “Tell me about this decision of yours.”

  “Lexi asked me to come.” Riva’s smile returned, wide enough to set her eyes shining. “These people are incredible, Am. Callie’s so beautiful and brave, and Zeke’s sweet and funny. And they’re all queer like me. I feel comfortable when I’m with them. Like I belong.”

  “And Mineko? How do you feel about her?”

  “I don’t think she likes me. But I’m not completely fragile, you know. I’ve lived on the streets.”

  “And that didn’t end well.” Amity spoke softly, even gently. “We’ll always be here if you need us. Open Hand is your family.”

  “You are, and I’m grateful, but this is still the most exciting day of my life. I can’t wait to tell Callie.”

  “I wish I could be there to see her reaction. Unfortunately, this is our goodbye. I need to get Kade to safety.”

  “Right now? But I’m still not ready. How am I supposed to say goodbye? Amity, I love you…”

  “I love you too.” Amity embraced Riva and squeezed her hard before letting her go. “See Nikolas before you leave. He has an important instruction for you.”

  Riva scooped up her box, wiped away tears, gave Kade a desperate, apologetic look—he lifted a hand in recognition, tried to convey as best he could that she didn’t need to say a word—and vanished down the hall.

  “You seem surprised,” Amity said.

  “I’ve not seen you hug anyone before.”

  “My greatest regret is that I never once held Ash. I never even told her that I loved her. I refuse to make the same mistake again.”

  Shit. If Kade didn’t control himself, he was going to be the next one in tears. He took a measured breath. “Then you’d best say farewell to Lexi before you leave. You may not see her again, and I know she’s grown fond of you.”

  “About that.” Amity hesitated. “You know her better than anyone.”

  “In all honesty, yes, I do.”

  “Then you know that she has a secret. An anxiety. Something relating to her identity.”

  Was it really possible Lexi had confided in Amity? It had been a strange week, after all. “I think I know what you’re referring to, but I don’t want to be specific if there’s a chance I’m wrong.”

  “We can talk around the specifics. My concern is that Riva may get hurt. She wants to be loved by a woman, Kade. Note my emphasis. A woman.”

  So they were talking about the same thing. Amazing. “Lexi isn’t sure about her gender. Strict categories are stifling to her. But keep in mind, much of what we admire and love about her comes from that inner rebellion.”

  “And you think Riva will be able to accept it? That inner rebellion?”

  “I think she’s lived it.” Kade tried to meet Amity’s gaze, but for some reason, she kept averting her eyes. “I have to ask. Why did she tell you this? How did the topic even come up?”

  “We were talking about transgender people. I don’t recall the reason why. She told me she was once very close to someone of that nature. Being her oldest friend, I suppose you might have known them too.”

  “Did she say who that person was?”

  “No.” Amity stared down the hallway, distracted. “She d
idn’t.”

  Did he dare? His fear, as always, was of the terrible switch being hit. That inevitable reassessment. So that’s why his hands are so small and his shoulders so slim. As though men never had slight builds. So that’s why he has those cheekbones. As though no man had ever been pretty. Every time he divulged, his body was dismantled into clues for those hell-bent on refashioning him in the image of a woman. Yes, that was his fear. The moment they dismembered him with their eyes.

  Yet, besides Lexi, he had nobody with whom he could share his life without eliding its most shattering dynamic. And if anyone knew what it was like to carry the weight of the unspeakable past, it was Amity.

  So what the hell.

  “Amity, I am that person.”

  It didn’t seem to sink in at first. Then Amity’s eyes widened, and the light caught the tears filling at their rims. “Just between us,” said Kade.

  Amity nodded. She touched her knuckles to her lips and blinked until the tears were gone. “Did Ash know?”

  “Of course.”

  “I always thought I understood how you must have grieved for her. But now I realize that I wasn’t even close.” Amity bowed her head. “I can’t say goodbye to Lexi. There’s no way to keep secrets from her, and I need to part from her with dignity. So go say your farewells, and I’ll wait for you in my room.”

  Just when he’d thought the day had exhausted its surprises. “You’ve fallen in love with her.”

  Amity glanced up. She was blushing but smiling too, with a radiance that cut through her customary shadow. “Just between us.”

  * * *

  Callie had extracted a gadget from her van and was showing it off to Mineko and Zeke. Kade walked over, and the trio looked up.“Heya!” Callie had managed to land a dab of grease on her cheek, and more dirt smeared her left arm. “How’s it going?”

  “I was hoping you could direct me to Lexi.”

  “She drifted past us fifteen minutes ago. Said ‘hi’ and kept on moving.”

  “I think she’d gotten laid,” said Zeke. “She had that little wiggle she gets. No prizes for guessing who the lucky girl was.”