Nathan (Strauss Bear Shifter Brothers 0f Colorado Book 1)

by Brittany White

  Nathan was frowning, his eyes glassy, and ever so slowly his hand crept across the bar towards her. She watched it happen. His hand was faintly scarred. She didn’t doubt he’d been in a scrap or two. His fingers were thick and rough-looking. He looked like somebody who fixed things.

  When his hand covered hers, she sighed.

  “Doesn’t sound funny,” he murmured. She couldn’t think of any response to that and only sipped her drink with her free hand. It felt too good to let his hand hold hers, even if there was nothing there behind it. It was the kindest touch she’d felt in too long as his thumb gently caressed her knuckles.

  “Let me fix something for you,” he whispered. “I’m good at fixing things.”

  She pulled her hand away finally and sat up straight. “I don’t think your handyman skills extend that far, but thanks for the offer.”

  “Dang,” he said, looking disappointed. Then he shrugged and let out a deep sigh. “Well, my brother would kill me anyway.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, he’s always saying we’re not allowed to get involved with lodge guests.” He cracked a smile at that.

  “How often do you and your brothers follow that rule?”

  He raised his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying a lot of beautiful women stay here and some of them are single.” He gestured towards her and said, “Case in point.”

  “Ah…” She ducked her head. “Please. It’s just the cashmere.”

  “Are you kidding?” Nathan said. “You’re gorgeous.”

  “So are you,” she said. She was feeling buzzed and pleasant in his company, or she might not have said it. But she watched a slow smile spread across his face and she risked a small smile back.

  “It’s the sweater,” he said, whispering as if it was a secret.

  No, it’s not, she thought.

  “Let me help you.” He was serious again suddenly, leaning toward her and gazing at her with his warm blue eyes.

  “No,” she murmured. “I can’t.”

  “Then...let me show you something?”

  “Show me what?” she said warily.

  “Something you always wanted,” he said, picking up his glass. “Get your drink and follow me. C’mon. Don’t worry.”

  I have to be getting back, Alanna thought but it seemed impossible not to let Nathan take her hand and lead her back through the dining table and around a corner and down a long hallway that led off to meeting rooms and banquet halls for guest events.

  It was getting late and there weren’t many guests walking around. Everything was quiet and it made the lodge feel mysterious.

  There was a ticking clock in Alanna’s head as she followed Nathan. Eventually, John would come looking for her. But Nathan’s hand was warm in hers and she didn’t want to let go.

  He led her to a hall that was locked until he slipped in his universal key card and led them inside. She hadn’t expected anything really and the room was dark but for the moonlight shining through the curtained windows, but when Nathan flipped on some lights from a small cabinet near the door, she gasped.

  “It’s a ballroom,” she whispered. “Cinderella should be so lucky.”

  The room was like a cathedral, with a high vaulted ceiling from which chandeliers hung, now sending little white lights dancing across the expanse of checkered hardwood floor. Glass icicles dangled from them like teardrops as they rotated slowly.

  “This ballroom was here before,” Nathan said, sighing. He took her hand and led her across the floor. There were white marble statues of dancing figures in the corner. It looked like a ballroom from a king’s castle in a fairy tale. “But it was pretty run down when we brought it. Conner restored it to its former glory. Now everybody wants to get married here.”

  “I would,” Alanna whispered.

  Nathan crossed the floor and disappeared through a door behind the stage and a minute later music began to play through unseen speakers. It was old-fashioned music for dancing, something her grandparents would’ve liked but it went with the dancing lights that looked like shining stars and when Nathan returned, he took her hands in his.

  “Why did you bring me here?” she said. He was leading her into a dance and she hadn’t felt butterflies around a man in so long she had almost forgotten what it felt like. But as he wrapped an arm around her waist and began to sway, she started to remember.

  “You said you used to watch the happy couples through the glass,” he whispered. “Thought I’d show you the other side of it. Dance with me?”

  Alanna swallowed and prayed that John wouldn’t come looking for her before she went back. She let Nathan take her hand and leaned her head on his shoulder as he led them in a slow, swaying dance around the ballroom.

  She let her eyes slip shut and melted into him. As big and broad as Nathan was, he was soft in his sweater and his arms held her gently instead of grabbing for her.

  “You really are good at fixing things,” she murmured.

  “What did I fix?” he rested his chin atop her head. They fit together like puzzle pieces in her mind.

  “Something I didn’t know was broken,” she said. She followed his steps, turning with him, and felt like she was floating as he held her. “I like this music.”

  He chuckled and it made her feel warm all over. She bet the sound of his laugh could fix things too. “This music’s for old people,” he said.

  “That’s my favorite kind.”

  “Alanna,” Nathan whispered. “Let me help you.”

  “I have to go.” Alanna was teary as she broke away from him. It all felt too good, his hands and his arm and the scent of him and the way he’d laughed into her neck. “Thank you for...all this. I have to go.”

  “Let me take you out sometime,” he said quickly. “Please.”

  She shook her head and looked down at the brand new boots she was wearing, that Rawley had bought her. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  If she was Cinderella, it was midnight. She felt as if her cashmere was about to turn into pumpkin puree.

  “Why not?” Nathan said. “Whatever it is—”

  “Why would you want to?” she said, shaking her head. The moonlight made Nathan’s eyes glimmer. But he only seemed sad as he looked at her. “Really, why would you want to spend time with me at all? I’ve got nothing, I’m nobody.”

  “Because you looked through the glass,” Nathan said. “And I was on the other side, but I never felt like it. That’s why I ran away. I was always in the room with the lights and the happy couples. But I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Like you.”

  “Then why did you come back?”

  “Because I realized the glass isn’t real,” he laughed, seemingly at himself. “That probably sounds stupid. Anyway, I like talking to you. That’s all. I don’t remember the last time I liked talking to somebody so much.” He walked up to her and she breathed as he cradled her cheek in his palm. She leaned into it. Just this one touch, she thought. She could take it with her and think about it when Rawley took her away. “I like talking to you,” he said again, his breath hot on her skin, he stood so close. “And you smell good. And you understand the wild. And your mouth…” He rubbed his thumb along her bottom lip and it felt so good, she had to break away.

  “I have to go,” she said again and forced herself to head towards the door, leaving him alone in the dancing lights.

  “Come find me,” she heard him say before she closed the door between them.

  4

  Nathan

  Every time Nathan thought about the girl from room 27, he found himself smiling. But he found himself worried too. Once she’d left the ballroom, Nathan had turned the music off and the lights out and returned to the lounge to chat with Jerry, the bartender, before finally heading off to bed. He’d jerked off that night, thinking about what it might be like to make her throw her head back and moan, what her body might feel like against his.

  In the morning, Nathan tried to forget all about her. She
was just another guest, he told himself...a pretty one who said interesting things. There was a depth to her that he wanted to fall right into. But he had work to do because one of their supply vans was broken down and he wanted to see if he could fix it without calling the mechanic, and he had to call the gondola people about some replacement parts, and hopefully, nobody would call with problems in their rooms today.

  “Feed me, Morris!” Nathan declared, sitting down at his favorite spot in the massive kitchen behind the dining hall. The sun had only just risen and he rubbed his eyes, craving coffee. Cody, who got up as early as Nathan did to prepare breakfast, whipped him with a dishtowel. “Feed yourself, freeloader.”

  This was typical breakfast banter and Nathan only responded by flipping his brother the bird and leaning on his other hand, still feeling half asleep until Cody set a tall mug of steaming coffee down in front of him with Nathan’s preferred dash of creamer and sweetener.

  “Bless you,” Nathan murmured. He took a sip and sighed, feeling a little more human. Really, mornings were his favorite time of day. Nothing was more beautiful than the sunrise over Black Bear Lake, in his opinion. He liked being one of the first people up at the lodge along with his brother and starting the day together. “What’s on the menu today?”

  “Spinach and gruyere quiche,” Cody said as he bustled around, setting out ingredients and simmering water. “Side of thick-cut bacon. Also got some raspberry muffins. They’ll melt in your mouth.”

  “I hate spinach,” Nathan reported.

  “Pain in the ass,” Cody said behind him. “I’ll make you regular eggs.”

  “I’ll take one of those muffins?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

  The smell of the quiche was mouth-watering even though Nathan knew he wouldn’t eat it if it was put in front of him. Minutes later, Cody set a buttered muffin in front of him. As Nathan ate his breakfast, he thought about Alanna and her mysterious sadness while Cody complained about annoying guests. The sound of sizzling bacon and the clang of pots and pans was the sound of a good day beginning to Nathan’s mind. He nodded along with Cody’s ramble as he ate his muffin and drank his coffee, hopping up to refill the mug himself when he had drained it.

  “There’s a girl in 27,” Nathan reported, sitting back down with his refilled coffee.

  “Okay.” Cody stopped hovering over the eggs and stared at Nathan. “There’s a mushroom in the refrigerator. Are we playing vague non-sequiturs now?”

  “Shut up. No, I mean there’s something wrong there,” Nathan said. Somehow Cody had known he would want another muffin and set a freshly warmed one in front of him. “It’s a sense. Ya know, instinct? I talked to her last night.” He decided not to tell Cody about the dancing, not quite trusting him not to tattle to Conner. “She’s just so...sad. And there’s something up with the guy she’s staying with. It’s bugging me.”

  Cody walked all the way around his long kitchen island to stand in front of Nathan and point his greasy spatula at his brother. “Do not get involved with guest drama.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Do not get involved with guest drama!” Cody said. “It’s probably just like you said, a shitty marriage or a relationship. Let it lie!”

  “I know, but—”

  “What’s Connor’s rule?”

  “Cody!”

  “Nathan! What is Connor’s rule!”

  “Don’t get involved with the guests,” Nathan recited, rolling his eyes.

  “Do not get involved with the guests!”

  Cody went back to the eggs and finally set down yet another plate in front of Nathan, who dug in, growling slightly as he attacked the bacon. When he was finally satisfied, about halfway through his third piece of toast, Nathan sat back, drained the rest of his coffee and said, “Hypothetically speaking, what if there was some real shit wrong? It hasn’t happened before but…I mean what if we saw some shit go down? I’m not letting some innocent girl get hurt.”

  “In that case,” Cody said, “I’d say go with your gut. But you don’t know shit.”

  “It was a hypothetical!” Nathan laughed, raising his hands in surrender.

  “Get outta my kitchen.”

  “I’m goin’, I’m goin’.”

  Nathan had told Alanna to come find him. But he didn’t think she would.

  He was wrong.

  He was holed up in the lodge’s spacious garage, tinkering with the supply van. He was theorizing some salt damage in the undercarriage and he was lying back on a creeper with a mini-flashlight stuck in his mouth when he heard footsteps.

  Nathan fully expected the footsteps to belong to one of his brothers, but when he rolled out from beneath the van and saw Alanna standing over him, looking uncertain, he got that itchy feeling in his head again. Only this time, it didn’t feel bad exactly.

  “You told me to come find you,” she said quickly. She was wearing a black skirt and tights and one of her cashmere sweaters. “I asked Eric if I could speak to you and he pointed me here…”

  He sat up, eye level with her shapely legs encased in those shimmery black stockings, and sucked in a breath, looking down to wipe his hands on a rag.

  “I’m glad you did,” he said and got to his feet.

  Nathan had stripped off his sweater and he’d gotten grease on the grey tank top he wore to work on the cars. He leaned on the van and wished he was a little more cleaned-up but it didn’t seem to bother Alanna, judging by the way her gaze raked up and down his body. He flexed unconsciously.

  She licked her lips and nodded at the van, approaching him hesitantly. She reminded him of a scared deer. “You’re a mechanic too?”

  “No,” he said, chuckling. “Not really. There are a few things I can fix so I always give it a shot before we take it to a shop.”

  “Hmm.” She nodded and clasped her hands in front of her. She was clearly nervous, her gaze skirting around him as if searching for anyone else to look.

  It was adorable.

  “I was watching TV,” she said. “I mean I was trying to watch TV but there’s nothing good on. There’s never anything good on, you know? Sometimes, I feel like I’ve missed out on things in the human world while being a bear. But then I turn on the TV and a lot of it seems so...angry. Or sad.”

  “Well, you should try cartoons,” Nathan said, taking a step toward her.

  She clearly wanted to talk, but about nothing in particular. That was fine with him if it was what she needed.

  “I do like cartoons!” She lit up in a way he hadn’t seen yet, her eyes brightening and making her look like a little girl. “I like...Yogi Bear?”

  “Yogi Bear?” Nathan said. He laughed so hard he had to cover his mouth and she ducked her head, blushing. “I’m sorry. No, I like Yogi Bear just fine. I just didn’t expect that.”

  “I just remember being a little kid and when I did get to watch TV, Yogi Bear was on a lot. I kept thinking he was a bear shifter too,” she said, shrugging. “Except he could talk. That was confusing. And he never took human form…. I don’t know why I thought that. I was a dumb kid, I guess.”

  “No way,” Nathan said firmly. “Bet you were a smart kid. You’re imaginative, right? You sound like it.”

  “Yeah, I mostly imagined a better life,” she muttered. “I wish… I’d had what you had.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ve had it pretty damn good. I took it for granted. But I won’t. Not ever again.”

  She nodded and shifted from foot to foot, somehow getting a little closer. She nodded at his hands. “You’re all greasy. Did you fix the van?”

  “Not yet,” he said, and coming across a tender spot where he’d nicked his finger on the undercarriage, he winced. “Ow.”

  “What’s the matter?” She walked right up to him and he breathed in her scent, attempting to be subtle about it. She only came up to his chin and when she looked up at him, his gaze dropped to her pink mouth that looked a little swollen.

  “Just hurt my finger,”
he murmured.

  “Let me see.”

  He let her take his hand. She stood close enough that he could feel her breathing, the shortness of it. Her skin was soft where she held his hand in hers and it was probably unnecessary the way she stroked her thumb along his palm and turned his hand over until finally finding the small nick that had cut a little notch in the skin of his ring finger, though it was not bleeding. “Ouch…”

  “Doesn’t hurt,” he said. He ducked his head a little, just enough that his lips brushed her hair.

  “I...I can’t,” she breathed. He was so close. He tipped his head forward and let his eyes shut, content to let his lips brush along the crown of her head.

  “Can’t do what?” He whispered and squeezed her hands in his. Just that seemed to unravel her a little. She leaned into him and he lowered his head, brushing his lips along her cheek.

  “Whatever this is,” she whispered. “I…”

  “There is no glass,” he said and moved his hand to stroke her cheek. She closed her eyes and seemed to melt into his palm. “There’s only us.”

  “Nathan…”

  They were magnets pulled toward each other and their lips were about to meet when something large and loud clattered to the floor in the corner. One of the porters was there, unloading boxes from a truck. Alanna jumped away from him.

  Dammit.

  “Alanna,” Nathan said. “Please…”

  She didn’t say anything this time. She only shook her head and fled.

  5

  Nathan

  It was the next day before Nathan saw Alanna again.

  He was coming back from Connor’s office, following a long phone conversation with the gondola people when he saw her in the dining hall looking as sad as ever and poking at her arugula salad. She had John along with her this time. He was hunched over his plate, slurping up soup while he stared at his phone.

  I could definitely take him, Nathan thought.