The Bad Boy’s Heart

by Holden, Blair

  I want to tell him, but I know how he’ll react, his protective instincts will take over, and even though I know he would never hit a girl, chances are he’ll get himself into trouble. Allison what’s-her-face isn’t worth his time or mine.

  “Yeah, of course,” I tell him.

  “You’ve been really quiet today, Tessie. If something’s wrong, tell me.”

  I stop walking and tug on his hand to do so as well. I cup his face in my hands and kiss him. “I’m fine, I swear, just a little tired.”

  He looks really guilty. “I shouldn’t have kept you up, god, I’m such an asshole. You had a class this morning and I didn’t even think about it.”

  I let him beat himself up for a few minutes because it’s better he think that was the reason why I’ve been in such a weird mood all day.

  “Let’s just try restricting ourselves to an hour next time you decide to call in the middle of the night, okay?”

  He pulls me to him and buries his face in the crook of my neck. “I missed you in my bed, Shortcake, especially after the Halloween weekend…”

  My face heats up at the memories; let’s just say dressing up as Jessica Rabbit was the absolute best decision.

  Shivering from his touch, I pull back. “We don’t have time to talk dirty, mister, you have practice, and I have lots of assigned reading to get to.”

  He sighs dramatically and we continue walking to my dorm. Once inside, I’m instantly on alert when a couple of girls spot me first, before seeing Cole, and start laughing a bit too loudly. I ignore them and push the button for the elevator that’ll take me to my floor. Cole frowns at the giggling pair.

  “Something funny?”

  I make a huge deal of rolling my eyes. “I think that’s an automatic reaction to you being around. Women all over the world tend to become reduced to overenthusiastic toddlers.”

  He doesn’t buy it and looks toward the girls again, but our elevator arrives before he can ask them why they’re still laughing, and I pull him inside. I push a couple of buttons so that it buys us some time alone and I can try to distract him.

  “Who keeps texting you?” His phone’s been going crazy for a while, and I’m half afraid that it’s someone forwarding him the photos and video from earlier.

  He grimaces like he’s tasted something foul and shoots me an apologetic look.

  “It’s Allison.”

  Wait, what?

  I try not to throw a full-blown tantrum. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, I chant in my head.

  “Why? I thought she wasn’t working with you anymore?”

  “Well, yeah, in the psych class, but somehow we got partnered up in our 100-level engineering class and the TA’s refusing to change the pairings.”

  My jaw might just become unhinged from how far I’ve let it drop.

  That manipulative, psychotic, little she-demon!

  “Oh.” I’ve curled my hands into fists and I’m ready to pound them into the walls when we arrive on my floor.

  Cole walks behind me a little cautiously as I use my key to let us inside the room; thankfully, Sarah isn’t back to witness yet another thing in my life going wrong.

  “There’s nothing to be worried about, Tessie; you know I don’t like her.”

  But she’s freaking obsessed with you! Just like Nicole was, just like Erica was, I want to scream at him.

  “I know, and I trust you; I just really don’t like that girl.”

  “Well, I’ll try getting done with our project as soon as possible and submitting it before the end of the semester, okay? I don’t want to work with her for that long.”

  He tips my chin up to meet his eyes. “If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?”

  I nod and he carefully studies my face.

  “I love you, Shortcake.”

  “Love you, too, Cole.”

  He kisses me soundly before he leaves, and after he does, I collapse onto my bed and find that my eyes are stinging. I throw my arm over my eyes and scream into my sleeves. I hate overreacting; I hate being this weak. If I need to fight to keep Cole, then I will.

  The problem is that I shouldn’t have to. He’s mine now, my boyfriend, and sometimes even the word boyfriend doesn’t seem like it’s enough. I’m secure enough in our relationship to know that we’re in a good place, but if I’m still left battling every woman who thinks she could be better for him than I am, then what’s the point of this security?

  Chapter Nineteen: Just Around the Time You Stole My Virtue

  “Your boyfriend’s dad is the sheriff; I’m thinking I’ll get be able to get away with murder.”

  “I don’t think Providence falls under his jurisdiction, Beth, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Balancing my cellphone between my ear and shoulder, I shove a bunch of books and notebooks into my backpack. My watch tells me that it’s six thirty in the morning, which means that I’ll get a solid block of time in the library if I get there now. Finding an available desk, on the other hand, is a power struggle on its own; maybe I’ll ask someone nicely or bribe them with my stash of Kit Kats.

  Yes, that’s how badly I need a damn desk this time.

  “Listen, if they keep their shit up, you need to tell Cole. This isn’t fair on you, and he needs to tell those skanks to back off.”

  “I don’t need his help, and the skanks are the least of my worries.” I slip on my faux-fur-lined boots and wind a scarf around my neck. I am in standard midterm garb, sweatshirt, warm leggings, and a warmer coat on top. All the layers make me wobble around like a penguin, but I force myself out the door.

  “Oh yeah, how goes the Ivy League academic hell, god, I don’t miss that shit at all.”

  I snort and walk quickly down the abandoned halls. It’s a ghost town around here, and the thought worries me. I’ve never been Megan smart but I manage; I’m here, aren’t I? But every person in this school is smart, and it makes you rethink whether you should be here in the first place.

  I don’t have time to be all mopey and depressed about this, though; I’ve got three exams in the space of a day and a half and not enough prep done to ensure that I pass.

  “It’s hell, all right. But I’ve got about a week to make sure I don’t flunk my freshman midterms, so that’s a good thing. Maybe I’ll come visit you guys this weekend, get in the zone.”

  “Yeah, you should; we’ll research voodoo dolls.”

  “You’re taking this more seriously than I am.”

  “Because you’re not going to do anything about it. I get that you’re all big and brave now after facing Nicole, but these girls target something completely different, and you’re letting them get to you.”

  “I’m not; I just don’t want to play their stupid games. We’re in college, for crying out loud.”

  The campus is quiet as I trudge through it, given that it’s early or very late, depending on how you see it, people are still asleep. But those are the ones who didn’t have to work very hard to get into the school in the first place; they can afford sleep. I know I’m right when I walk in and find more than half of the individual study desks taken. I hide from the librarian and stay on the phone with Beth as I stash my books on my first-choice table. Then I leave to go to the on-campus cafe and get myself a much-needed large coffee.

  “Why are you this early in the first place?” I ask her as I stand in line for my coffee.

  She yawns. “I had a late shift at the restaurant so I haven’t actually been to bed yet, drank way too much coffee, and I can’t go to sleep now.”

  Knowing my brother shares the same genes as me, I can confidently say, “And Travis is out like there’s no tomorrow, right?”

  “Well, in his defense, he was a very good boyfriend who stayed up for me half the night, so I’m letting him hibernate.”

  It makes me laugh; I’m glad he’s being taken care of. “We’re coming down for Thanksgiving next week, remember, can’t wait to catch up with you guys.” There’s a note of wistfulness to my voice that Beth do
esn’t miss.

  “You’re supposed to be having the time of your life, Tess, don’t let those miserable bitches get you down. You’ve got the guy; he’s not going anywhere. Own it and throw it in their faces.”

  “So, you’d suggest the aggressive approach as opposed to my passive-aggressive one that I’ve perfected so well?”

  “Do I look like I even know what passive means?”

  “Good Point.”

  We end the call, and I get myself a large cappuccino and a bagel, which I stuff my face with before going into the library. I knock out a few good hours there, knowing that my intro-level history course would be a pain in the butt regardless of how hard I try, but this way at least the butt-kicking will be less painful. Next, I study my economics and statistics notes and wonder why I don’t have Cole studying with me right now. He’s good at this stuff; any math-related thing and he’s great at it. The thought makes me reach for my phone. It’s about ten a.m. now, so he’s already been up for a couple of hours. I start to text him when I think the better of it and shoot Megan an e-mail instead. We have study session over Skype often, where basically she teaches me things that I would’ve known had I taken the same AP classes as she did. Because she’s already taken so many college-level courses in high school, the girl’s acing her way through college.

  I study as much as I can and cram as much information as my brain can handle. I leave my Introductory English Lit prep till the end because that’s something I know I can do well without wanting to tear my hair out.

  I leave the library after six hours with a rumbling stomach. When I pull out my phone to check my e-mails, I notice that I’ve missed a few texts, and one’s from Cole.

  Cole: Breakfast?

  Cole: I’ll bring those chocolate hazelnut French toast things you like so much

  Cole: Shortcake…

  Cole: Seriously I’m getting worried now, where are you? You’re not in the dorms.

  I call him immediately and he picks up, a little out of breath.

  “Where’ve you been? I’ve spent the entire morning trying to reach you.”

  I hear someone giggle in the background and ignore it; there’s always someone giggling in the background.

  “I was in the library; I thought I told you I’d be there this morning.”

  Shivering in the cold, I walk faster to my dorm. I plan to nap for an hour or so and then go back to studying. Cole won’t be pleased.

  “Well, you didn’t; Jesus, Shortcake, you gave me a heart attack.”

  My insides warm at the concern in his voice. “Where are you right now? I could eat—”

  “Hold on a second.”

  I hear him talking to someone, a someone with a high-pitched, girly voice that makes me grit my teeth. The classes where he has to partner up with someone for a project usually ends with the partner being a girl. I’m not a complete psycho, I know that not every woman is out to get him, but some just make it so obvious. When he comes back on the phone, he sighs, “I’ll catch you in the after, babe, apparently the prison warden won’t even allow food breaks.” I hear the high-pitched voice yell something and it makes me happy; suck it, Yolanda, he doesn’t want to be with you.

  “Okay, well, I’m going to take a nap. Maybe we can study together later?”

  He sounds affronted that I said that. “Why are you even asking? You and I both know you’ll fail your stats class without me.”

  “Because of course you’re the only person in the world who’s capable of teaching me.”

  “Maybe not, but I do have the best incentives. Get a question right and you’ll get…”

  My cheeks heat up, which is a miracle and a blessing, considering the weather. “Do not finish that sentence in front of other people!”

  He chuckles. “I was going to say gummy bears, the red ones, too. What’s so wrong about that?”

  I roll my eyes and I know he can visualize my reaction. “Of course you were, and you know what I’ll hold you onto that. Just the gummy bears, Stone.”

  He makes an outraged sound on the other side like I’ve seriously offended him. “Don’t mess with my tutoring mojo, Shortcake. My methods are very effective.”

  I’m about to respond when his partner calls out again and Cole sighs defeatedly, “Yeah, I got to go. The sooner I go, the sooner we finish this.” He says the last part louder than necessary and I laugh; the poor girl’s going to have to deal with a grumpy Cole.

  ***

  I wake up to soft lips trailing down my neck and strong arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

  “Go back to sleep, Tessie, I just want to hold you for a bit.”

  I sigh contentedly and close my eyes, sinking into my happy place.

  ***

  We’re at Cafe Rock, the on-campus café, again, and pretending to study. Well, I do have my books out and ready to learn, but Cole’s distracted. He’s making funny faces and trying to kiss while I want to shove my $200 textbook down his throat. It’s not helping that Cami’s with us and being highly amused by my boyfriend’s antics.

  “You know what we should do?” She thumps her fist on the table like she’s had the best idea ever.

  “We should go out, go drinking and clubbing, and get a hangover so bad, we could die from it.”

  “Well, that sounds particularly pleasant, but no?”

  Leaving campus before and during mid-terms? That’s crazy talk!

  “Oh, but you’ll be able to focus on studying so much better once you get the fun out of your system. You won’t be sitting in some abandoned corner of the quad forcing all this gunk into your brain!” She slams her fist down again.

  “I take it you want to go out?” Cole raises an eyebrow and stretches his arm over my shoulders.

  “Yes! For the love of god, yes, take me out of here.”

  “No, absolutely no! We’re not leaving; I have so much work to do and—”

  “Shortcake,” he cuts me off with a kiss, “I think we could both use a night out, unwind a little. Afterward, I’ll teach you everything you need to know, without the distracting incentives.”

  “You’re bribing me with tutoring me by not tutoring me?”

  “If you put it like that…”

  “Come on, Tessa,” Cami whines, “Don’t you want to just get off campus and get away from those—”

  I stop her midsentence, but it’s too late. Cole looks at us suspiciously. “Get away from whom?”

  I discreetly elbow Cami and wave my hand dismissively. “Those massive, massive piles of books.”

  He doesn’t seem convinced. “I’ll find out eventually.”

  “There’s nothing to find out.”

  “That’s what you want me to think, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know what you think I want you to think.”

  “Well, I think I know what you know what I think you want me to think.”

  “Wait, okay, hold up, guys. I can’t keep up with this conversation, and I won’t be able to tweet about it!”

  Cole and I stop our staring contest to look at Cami, who doesn’t look up from her phone.

  “You tweet about us?”

  “At least three times a day. Your fans want to know where your relationship’s at.”

  “We have fans?”

  “Of course you do. You guys were voted freshman couple of the semester like last week on the student group page. I made an acceptance speech on your behalf, no worries.”

  “You scare us.” Cole moves closer to me.

  “Don’t be! I make a fantastic fangirl.”

  I turn to my boyfriend. “I’ll go out, on one condition. Just make sure to get me really, really drunk, okay?”

  ***

  I slam the martini glass on the counter and signal the bartender for one more. Next to me, Cami wolf whistles and swallows her own shot. We’re giggling uncontrollably about nothing at all, and it’s the best thing ever. Cole keeps us in his line of sight as he talks to one of his friends. His teammate Parker decided to
join us, and he can’t take his eyes off Cami.

  “Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance?” I ask her once we have our drinks and stop laughing.

  Her cheeks turn red. “Parker? He’s not…we’re not…”

  “Come on, give it up. You guys like each other; why don’t you go out?”

  “Because, Tessa,” she sighs heavily and looks longingly toward Parker, “honestly, I wouldn’t be able to put up with the kind of cattiness that comes from all their groupies without killing someone.”

  A twinge of hurt is amplified by the alcohol and rises to the surface. I glance at Cole and then at the empty glass in my hand.

  “You learn to deal with it and move on with your life.”

  “Look, I support your relationship more than I probably should, but doesn’t it drive you insane? To get that amount of negative attention?”

  “He’s worth it. I mean it’s not like I never questioned it, especially this past week, but I like looking at the bigger picture.”

  “And what a damn fine picture it is.”

  Cole walks toward us with a predatory gleam in his eyes; he grabs my hand and begins walking me toward the dance floor.

  “Did I mention how much I love this dress?”

  It’s short, tight, black, and lace—there wasn’t a shot in hell he’d dislike it.

  I wrap my arms around his neck. “Just a couple of times.”

  We dance for a while, him holding me close. I try to forget about my mental to-do list and the crappy run-ins with Allison and her group of Barbie thugs. They do petty things, say things that they think will make me feel insecure, but I’ve thought long and hard about it and decided that I don’t give a flying fudge about them.

  One of Cole’s friends pulls him away again, and I spend some time alone on the floor. The dance team at college is great, and the more I see them perform, the more I want to be brave enough to join. No one knows the old me here; Fatty Tessie never existed for them, so they won’t see her and laugh at me when I audition. I’ve thought about it a lot; maybe if I join a club, I won’t feel like such an outsider. While I’m having these motivational thoughts, I start hearing the voices.