Looking for Trouble

by Becky McGraw

  She really did love these guys, they were like her family they’d been playing together so long now. Jazzie came up on the stage last and got her violin case and opened it, then rosined her bow and plugged up. When she was set, Jess nodded and Denver started a drum rhythm for their first song, and then they practiced through their normal first set. When they were done, she leaned back and told Denver to start, Angel, then got her electric guitar and plugged it up, and gave him a nod. Playing her electric on the stool was a little awkward, because she couldn’t move around like she usually did, but would just have to make it work.

  Jess looked down and saw that several of the bartenders, who had been setting up behind the bar earlier, were now standing in front of the stage to watch, with Red, the owner. Then she saw Wade standing off to the right, with Angel in the car seat beside him. Her eyes roved down the row of bartenders then settled on the cutest one, then she locked eyes with him, and started singing the song, moving as much as she could on the stool, so her playing didn’t sound or look flat.

  Wade could flirt with Jazzie, well she could do more than that, she thought and poured on the sexuality in her tone. The guy she was singing to took three steps forward, until he was in the spotlight, and she could see he wasn’t unaffected by the attention. He looked up at her dreamily, and his smile was ear to ear. With a wink she crooned the last line, ” You’re my angel, come and take me all night…come and save me tonight.”

  When the last sound faded, and the bar was quiet, he let out a whoop, then ran up to the stage and hopped up there. Wade was faster and he jumped up there then got between the guy and Jess, and gave him a heated glare. “Not a good idea, man…you have a job to do, go do it,” he told the guy cockily, then crossed his arms over his chest, which made his chest puff up under the t-shirt he was wearing, and his biceps bulge.

  The bartender studied him for a minute, then shook his head and hopped down off the stage, and walked quickly across the dance floor toward the bar. Jess rounded on him, but the anger in his eyes stopped her short from blasting him. He put his hand over the mike and leaned down in her face, “Don’t ever sing that song again,” he said in a low lethal tone.

  She swallowed hard to stifle the nasty response that sprang to her lips, then nodded and got up off the stool and walked to the stairs with tears burning behind her eyes. Grabbing the hand rail, she stepped down and found it, even though it was blurry, then she went for the second one and stumbled. Strong arms grabbed her waist, then she was swung up into Wade’s arms again and stiffened her spine, then grated through clenched teeth, “Put me down…now.”

  “You’re determined to break your fucking neck, aren’t you?” he hissed right back, then set her down on her feet at the bottom, and stomped off, then picked up the car seat then went to sit a table by the door.

  “What the hell would you care if I did!” she yelled across the bar and Red and the bartenders who were walking off turned around to stare at her. Jess felt heat rise to her face and she said, “Sorry…” then turned around and took several deep breaths to calm herself down.

  Jazzie came down the stairs and stood in front of her, and huffed, “You need to grow up, Jess…this is getting ridiculous. You knew that would piss him off, and you did it anyway. Then you yell at him for getting pissed off.”

  “Go fuck yourself, Jazzie…or go fuck Wade, I don’t care which, that’s what you really want,” she said snottily and gave her a disgusted once over. Jess had never talked to her like that before, and she heard Jazz suck in a shocked breath then she turned and strode across the bar toward Wade.

  Denver came down the stairs next and his face was full of concern, as he asked, “What’s up with you, sugar? You want to talk about it? You and Jazzie never fight…this shit is worrying me. You’re just not yourself.”

  “Not a good time, Den…I don’t want to piss you off too. My mouth keeps getting away from me,” she huffed out a frustrated breath and the tears she’d been holding back tracked down her face. Denver growled then pulled her into his arms and murmured soothing things into her hair.

  She had her face in Denver’s chest, but she heard another growl behind her, then she was jerked out of Denver’s arms and spun around to face Wade. His face was mottled red and his jaw clamped tight, he gritted his teeth a couple times, then he said, “We need to talk,” then shot Denver a heated glance, and added, “Privately.” Wade took her arm and dragged her across the floor to the back exit and opened it, then pushed her outside.

  Jerking her arm out of his grasp, she rubbed it then said, “Keep your hands off of me.”

  He stepped into her space and got in her face, “Jazzie told me what you said to her, and you need to apologize, now…she’s upset.”

  Jess whimpered as jealousy and hurt surged through her. She turned her back on him, and folded her arms around her middle, determined not to let him see her cry. In a trembling voice, she told him softly, “Go take care of her then, Wade…I think Angel and I are going to stay here with the guys tonight.”

  “Like hell you are…my daughter is not living above a bar,” he told her forcefully, and she whimpered again.

  “Okay, you take her then, and I’ll stay here…” she said then sank to her knees, and put her hand to her chest, because it felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Sucking in a painful breath, she told him, “This isn’t going to work…I’m going to get an attorney.”

  “With what, Jess? You don’t have any money, and Angel needs you, you can’t run out on her, because you’re mad.” His voice was calmer, but his tone held disgust.

  “I’m not running out on her, you haven’t left me with a choice,” she said in short gasping breaths.

  “Goddammit, Jess,” he yelled then dropped down to his knees beside her and grabbed her shoulders, “What the fuck is wrong with you? What did I do?”

  She shook her head and wailed, “Nothing…you didn’t do anything except make it impossible for me to get away from you and keep my baby.”

  “How the hell do you figure that? I’m buying a fucking house for you and Angel that I’m not even going to live in, and giving you anything you need, what more do you want from me?”

  “You’re just like Ray, he used my money to try and control me, and you’re using my daughter for the same thing. I’m broke, because I trusted him…and I’ll lose my daughter if I trust you. Just go settle Jazzie down, she needs you…wants you.”

  Wade was thirty-four years old, almost thirty-five, and he’d never in his life met a more infuriating woman than Jess Sparks. He just couldn’t figure her out. He sat down on his butt beside her, then pulled her into his lap and asked, “Who the hell is Ray, and why do you think Jazzie wants me?”

  “Ray is my ex-boyfriend…and I know Jazzie better than anyone on Earth…she has a crush on you.

  “That’s bullshit, Jess…and what did this Ray guy do to you?”

  “He stole my songs and copyrighted them in his name and sold them, then he took all the money, he used me and robbed me blind, just like my dad. I don’t even know how much he stole, but it was probably a hundred thousand dollars or more.”

  “Holy shit, Jess! Did you call the police? Sue him?” Wade barked then pushed her away from him to look into her face.

  “I talked to an attorney and he said I didn’t have a leg to stand on, because I didn’t protect my interests…I didn’t even look over the books, I let Ray control it all, because that’s what he’d always done…he was my manager.”

  “Do you still have the books?” Wade thought she should probably talk to another attorney and the police, file charges against him for theft.

  “Yeah, but I can’t look at them…I get sick every time I do.”

  Well, Wade got sick every time he thought of her singing that damned song to another man, and he asked not really wanting to hear the answer, “How did you meet this guy? Was he an ‘angel‘ too?”

  Bile rushed up his throat, and he tamped it down. Wade was more determ
ined than ever that she was never going to sing that song again, he just couldn’t take it. He knew that’s why she’d named the baby Angel, and hearing her sing it to someone else felt like she was betraying him and Angel. He couldn’t explain it, that’s just how he felt.

  Jess looked up at him with regret in her beautiful green eyes and said, “No, he wasn’t an angel…far from it. He was a member of the commune, about your age, and my dad wanted me to marry him, before I turned eighteen. He did too, but I said no, and left on my birthday. He followed me, because he said he wanted to be with me, even if I didn’t marry him. Jazzie tried to tell me he was using me, but I wouldn’t listen…I trusted him.”

  Wade could certainly see why she no longer trusted men, but she was going to have to trust him, if they were going to be good parents to Angel. “I am not like him, Jess, I don’t want anything from you, except for you to take care of Angel, and work with me to be a good daddy to her.”

  He heard her suck in a deep breath, then she let it out slowly and told him, “I know you want Jazzie, and she wants you, so I can’t stay at the bunkhouse anymore. I need some space, Wade…I have to be somewhere else, so we can both get on with our lives.”

  Wade dumped her on her ass then stood up with his hands on his hips and glared down at her. “Where the hell did you get the idea that I want to be with Jazzie?”

  “I see how you look at her, and it’s not the way you look at me. You look at Angel the same way…” she told him then her lower lip trembled, then she dropped her chin to her chest, and finished, “I don’t want to stand in your way, so it’s better if I stay here and just visit Angel.”

  “Well, isn’t that charitable of you…you’re just gonna let me and Jazzie be together,” he drawled sarcastically with anger, the likes of which he’d never known, pouring through him. “So nice…and so fucking wrong,” he told her then took a meaningful step toward her, and said in a low gravelly tone, “If it isn’t obvious to you, who I want, then you need to pay closer attention, or I need to give clearer signals,” then he jerked her up to stand, before slamming his mouth over hers, claiming it and her, showing her how he felt, making her pay for the effort it had taken him to hold back from touching her, since she’d been back in Bowie.

  Pulling her tighter against his body, Wade ground his hips against hers, then dragged his mouth away from hers and hissed, “Does that feel like I don’t want you, Jess? I stay that way, every time I’m around you.” Wade leaned in and kissed her again, then said near her ear, “You drive me stark raving nuts with all your misconceptions and drama, but I can’t help it, I want to be inside of you every minute of every day.”

  Jess moaned then put her hands on his face and covered his mouth with hers, kissing him deeply. Wade opened his mouth then teased her tongue into an erotic dance, and put his hands on her butt, pulling her firmly against him. When she rotated her hips against him, blood rushed from his head to parts south, and he got lightheaded. “Whoa, baby…we need to slow down,” he panted then pulled back from her, because as much as he wanted her, he needed to make her understand this wasn’t just about sex.

  She looked up at him with smoky passion glazed eyes and he wanted to take her right there in the parking lot, but it was a public place, and he wasn’t as crazy as he used to be. “I want so bad, Jess, but I want to get to know you, too. We need to find out if there’s more than heat between us, for Angel’s sake,” he told her earnestly.

  “For Angel’s sake?” she said in a broken whisper, then pushed away from him. “If that’s why you’re doing all this Wade, just forget it. I want what’s best for her too, but we don’t have to have a relationship to be good parents to her. We can date, or be married to other people, and still be good parents.”

  Wade’s heart stopped and a sick feeling came over him at the thought of Jess with someone else. “Is that what you want…to be with someone else? Date other people?” he huffed out a sigh, then told her, “Because that’s sure as hell not what I want.”

  “No, that’s not what I want, either. Dating isn’t a priority for me…my daughter is,” she told him then turned away.

  “She’s my priority too, but you deserve to be happy too,” he told her then grabbed her shoulders and made her face him. “This isn’t just about Angel, sugar, it’s about you and me, but if there is something there, she benefits too.”

  “And if there’s not? What then? What if we try this out and it doesn’t work? I can’t see us hating at each other, and trying to raise our daughter.”

  “I will never hate you Jess, you’ve given me the greatest gift ever, and I’ll never forget that, or regret that you’re her momma,” he told her seriously, then added with a chuckle, “Even if I’m pissed off at you, which is likely to be a common thing.”

  She hesitated a moment studying him intently, then gave him a wobbly smile and said, “Okay, then we’ll give it a try…because I can’t stop wanting you, even though I’ve tried, and even though you piss me off too. But I’m not going to share, Wade. If we’re doing this, it’s only you and me, until we find out.”

  “Same goes with you, darlin’…just me and you, until we decide. I don’t share either,” he told her gruffly, then added, “And no more Aerosmith…no more angels.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Jess had just laid Angel down on the bed for her nap, and she huffed out an exhausted breath, then wiped her hand over her forehead. The bunkhouse was tidied up, her daughter had her bath, and lunchtime bottle, and Jess had a chance to take a break now, but all she could do was worry about her best friend.

  It had been a week since she’d said the nasty things she had to Jazzie. They’d played the first three nights of their contract at the bar in town, and it had gone very well. Red, the owner said that he’d gotten a lot of feedback from the customers, and they loved her and the band. The crowd on Saturday night had been wall to wall, and Red was thrilled, he told her they were welcome to stay there, as long as they wanted.

  She hadn’t seen much of Travis, but he told her he had some good things working, and would get with her soon to give her a rundown. He also told her he’d set up arrangements for some studio time with a good facility in Dallas, so they could cut demos whenever she had some new songs ready.

  Things between her and Wade were good, they’d been spending time together, and getting to know each other, but Jazzie was still mad at her, although Jess had apologized to her several times. Jazzie had even moved out of the bunkhouse and was now staying at the bar, probably to get away from her, which made her feel even worse. Sometimes when words were said, they couldn’t be reeled back in, so Jess had made a vow from now on, she was going to think before she let them loose.

  Since Angel was born, Jess’s emotions seemed like they were out of control, she got the blues a lot, and did things she wouldn’t have done before she gave birth, obsessed over things that wouldn’t have upset her before. Before Angel, she’d been pretty laid back, and took things as they came. She had never, ever spoken to her best friend like she had that afternoon at the bar a week ago.

  Cassie Matthews had given birth about six months ago, maybe she’d go talk to her about the mood swings and irritability, and see if she’d had the same problem…it had to be connected to having Angel somehow. Jess didn’t know her all that well, but there was nobody else she could talk to about it.

  Although Wade had introduced her to Sabrina and Cole Jackson, and his godson Will, the other night when they’d had dinner at their house, they lived out in the sticks, and she felt more comfortable with Cassie, because she saw her almost every day. When Cassie came to the barn to feed the horses, she usually checked in on her and Angel too. Maybe when Angel got up from her nap, she’d head over to the house, and talk to her.

  Wade was out working with the cattle manager today, so he probably wouldn’t be back for several hours. He worked so damned hard, and was usually beyond exhausted when he came in at night, but he always made time to play with Angel and talk to her. S
he was starting to realize that he wasn’t anything like Ray. Wade was a good man, trying to be a good father, and she was damned glad he was Angel’s daddy, instead of Ray, or things would have been vastly different for them.