Looking for Trouble

by Becky McGraw

  She huffed out a breath then told him, “I feel the same way about you…let’s just keep it nice and easy for now, though. I don’t need anymore pressure.”

  He nodded, then agreed, “Nice and easy works for now…no pressure. I’m just happy you’re giving us a chance…and that you’re feeling better.”

  She hugged his waist, then looked up into his eyes, “I am feeling a lot better…and I’m sorry that I get so prickly with you sometimes, you don’t deserve it,” she told him then rubbed her face against his chest, “I just don’t know what is wrong with me, since I had Angel, I have these…spells…where everything is a crisis, and I can’t deal with it. I feel like a crazy woman sometimes.”

  “Sabrina had a little of that after she had Will, and Cole was about to pull his hair out,” Wade laughed, then told her, “He said sometimes she was like that woman in that movie the Exorcist.”

  Jess looked up at him with interest and asked, “What did she do about it?”

  “She talked to her doctor, and he told her it was normal and was something called the ‘baby blues’ or something like that, and it’d go away if she ate right and rested more. Between taking care of Cole and the baby, and working at the Blue Bird, she was running herself ragged. She said getting back on the pill helped her too.”

  Jess gave him a squeeze then pushed out of his arms to look up at him. “If that’s what’s wrong with me, I’d be so damned happy…I thought I was going crazy…and I’ve about pissed off everyone in my life. The band is even wondering what the hell was going on with me,” she told him then said with a chuckle, “Den looked at me like I had two heads when I went off on you at the bar last week.”

  Wade’s smile slipped then he asked gruffly, “Is that the guy who was hugging you?”

  “Yeah, he’s been my drummer for years…he’s a good guy,” she told him.

  “Well tell him to keep his damned hands off of you, or I will,” Wade told her with a frown.

  She walked up to him and put her arms around his waist again, then leaned up and kissed him, “You don’t have to worry about Denver, darlin’…” she said with a little chuckle.

  “He’ll have to worry about me, if he puts his hands on you again…” he told her firmly.

  “He’s gay, sugar…as big and bad ass as he is, with all his tattoos, he likes guys…him and Tony are a couple.”

  Wade snorted then told her, “Well, that was unexpected,” and grinned at her.

  When Angel started fretting on the bed, she sat down and picked her up, then put the bottle to her lips, and she sucked it up greedily. Wade sat down beside her and said, “I took off the rest of the afternoon, so we could meet with the contractor and draftsman to finalize the house plans. You up for that?”

  She looked up at him and smiled brightly, “Heck yeah, I am.”

  Jess was so excited about the new house they were planning, she couldn’t contain it. They had the preliminary plans done, and Luke and Cassie had deeded them ten acres on the backside of the Double B to build. She couldn’t believe their generosity, they were amazing people. They said they were glad to do it, and wanted to keep Wade around for a very long time. He was Double B family now, they’d said, and they took care of each other.

  Jess had never been exposed to such a tight knit family or group of friends, or such generosity of spirit, and she was loving it. The commune had claimed to be that, but it wasn’t. The leaders in that group just used the members to pad their pockets, and her father had used her to contribute to them. She wasn’t used to people just giving her things…taking care of her, because they cared, not because they wanted something from her.

  Now, if things went well with the demos she was going to cut, she could finally make her own money, reap the fruits of her labor, instead of giving it to other people. “You like the new song, I wrote?” she asked Wade, wanting to know his opinion. It had been so long, since she’d done it, she was a little insecure.

  “Is that the song you were singing when I walked in?” he asked tickling Angel’s tummy, and she let loose of the nipple to smile and giggle at him.

  “Yeah, I wrote it after I put Angel down for her nap…it’s been a long time, since I’ve done that.”

  “You fucking amaze me, sugar…you wrote that song that quickly?”

  “Yeah, it almost wrote itself,” she told him with a grin, “I had good inspiration…I’m going to call it Angel and My Baby Girl.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he asked, then with insecurity in his tone, he finished, “Who’s the angel?”

  “You, baby…you’re my angel,” she told him in a choked voice, then leaned over and kissed his cheek.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Wade dropped Jess off at the bar, and was keeping Angel this afternoon. Jess had wanted to go to the bar early, so the band could do a run through on two new songs she’d written. That way she could make tweaks if she had to, before they played them live tonight. One was called Take My Breath Away, which was a sexy, slow bluesy ballad with rich notes, and lots of feeling, she’d written it right after she and Wade had made love one night. The other one was Living the Dream, which was fast paced and kind of ironic…a little funny twist on family life…then there was Angel and My Baby Girl. She hoped the band liked them.

  Her other goal for today was getting Jazzie forgive her…even if she had to get down on her knees and beg. She missed her best friend, and didn’t want to be sideways with her anymore. Yesterday, she’d gone to the doctor in Henrietta, and he’d given her a new prescription for birth control pills, and confirmed what Wade had told her…she had the baby blues. That’s why she had been such a wild woman lately, and he assured her she would get to feeling better if she rested, and took time for herself now and again…and took the pills.

  It hadn’t been long enough for the pills to kick in yet, but she already felt much better than she had a couple of weeks ago, because Wade insisted that she take long baths, have glasses of wine now and again, and just kick her feet up. Even though she knew he was tired as hell having worked all day, he took Angel over to Luke and Cassie’s to visit Bella, and gave her some space. Maybe if she explained what was going on to Jazzie, she’d understand.

  She went to the stairway behind the stage and yelled up there for Jazzie, because there was no way she was going to be able to climb them with the damned cast on her foot. It took three times, before Jazzie poked her head around the corner at the top of the stairs and said grumpily, “Yeah?”

  “Hey, Chica—throw your clothes on, I need to talk to you,” Jess said chirpily, and gave her a big grin.

  “I’m sleeping, Jess…what do you want?” It was obvious she was still miffed at her, and Jess swallowed down the fear that her best friend might not ever forgive her.

  She sobered and said in a trembling voice, “I really want to talk to you, Jazzie…I’ve got some things to say…I love you and I can’t stand us being crossways.”

  “You should’ve thought about that, Jess…I can’t deal with your craziness anymore,” Jazzie told her then shook her head and her thick black hair swept over her shoulders.

  “I’ll beg, Jazz…please hear me out,” she pleaded tearfully.

  Jazzie hesitated a minute, then huffed out a breath, and told her, “Give me fifteen minutes, I need a shower.”

  Relief washed through Jess and her shoulders slumped, then she said, “I’ll be down here waiting, take your time.” Jess didn’t care how long she took, she was just thankful that her friend was going to listen to her.

  She hobbled over to the table, and sat down to wait. Twenty minutes later, Jazzie came down the stairs with her hair in a towel, and a housecoat on. Jazz never let anyone see her without her makeup, but here she was, bare faced, which meant she was evidently eager to hear what Jess had to say.

  Jess stood up and hobbled over to her when she got to the bottom of the stairs and pulled her into a hug. Jazz didn’t hug her back, but she didn’t pull away either, so with a final squeeze, Jess pulled back and t
old her, “Thank you…” with tears burning her eyes, then she went back and sat down again.

  Jazzie took the chair across the table from her, and although her eyes were wary, she looked vulnerable too. “What is it you wanted to say, Jess?”

  “First, I want to apologize to you again…what I said was uncalled for, and totally out in left field. You’re the sister of my heart, and I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

  Pushing up from the table, Jazzie’s eyes filled with tears as she told her, “You’ve said that already a couple of times now Jess…I need to go get ready.”

  Jess shot up from her chair and said, “No wait! There’s more, please….”

  After Jazzie eased back down in the chair, Jess paced and told her, “I found out what’s wrong with me…what caused me to be so crazy, and I’m fixing it,” she told her friend. “The doctor says it’s postpartum depression, baby blues…did you notice this just started after I had Angel? I really did think I was going nuts.”

  Jazzie turned toward her in the chair and asked hesitantly, “Really?”

  “Yeah…Wade brought it up. Sabrina had the same issue after Will was born, and he mentioned it, so I went to see a doctor in Henrietta to get on the pill, and asked him about it.”

  Jazzie snorted, “The pill huh? Sounds like you and Wade are getting along pretty well…”

  “We are…so damned good it scares me. I’m waiting on that other shoe to hit me in the head. But, I’m taking one day at a time, and things are great right now…Angel adores him.”

  “I knew if I moved out, you two would probably work things out. Looks like I was right,” Jazzie told her with a grin, which was something Jess was ecstatic to see.

  “You were right in so many ways, Jazz…I wish I would have listened, it would’ve save me a lot of trouble,” Jess said with a chuckle.

  “That’s what I keep telling you, if you’d just listen to me,” Jazz told her then laughed.

  Jess sobered and then went to sit back down at the table, “Seriously, you were right…Wade is a good man, and he loves Angel…and really is a big help. He takes her over to Cassie and Luke’s house to play with Bella, just so I can have some down time…even though he’s worked all day, and would probably just like to kick back in front of the TV.”

  “Sounds like someone else might love him too?” Jazzie asked with curiously.

  “I don’t know yet…I don’t even know what that feels like, but I feel something for him, and it’s pretty strong. He makes me feel good again,” she told her friend, the added with a huge smile, “I’ve even been writing again!”

  Jazz sucked in a breath then leaned forward, “No shit? That’s fantastic…I’m proud of you Jess.”

  Jess looked down at her hands and emotion filled her as she told Jazzie, “I’m proud of myself, Jazz…and that’s huge.”

  “Travis has been talking to a label in Nashville…he said he sent them a demo, and they’re really interested, but want to hear more. I think they might send someone down here to watch you perform.”

  Jess shot out of the chair and let out a loud whoop, then went to Jazz and pulled her up by her hands, and they danced around. “Travis is amazing!”

  “Tell me more,” her sleepy brother said from the bottom of the stairs. His blond hair was rumpled and he had sleep creases on his beard-stubbled face. The well-worn pajama pants and Motley Crue t-shirt he wore were equally rumpled. “I had to come down here and see what all the ruckus was about,” he said then walked over and kissed her cheek.

  She turned and put her arms around him and hugged him with all she had, “Thank you…thank you…thank you,” she told him peppering his face with kisses.

  He pulled back from her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Wow, who are you and what have you done with my grumpy sister?” he asked with a chuckle.

  “The doctor and I sent her on a permanent vacation, before she alienated everyone she loves,” Jess told him with a watery chuckle. “I’m sorry, Trav…I love you.”

  “Doctor?” he asked with concern and stepped back and looked her over from head to toe. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, everything is great…I found out why I’ve been a crazy bitch, since Angel was born though…”

  “Oh yeah? They have a pill for that now?” he asked with a chuckle, but his eyes were serious.

  “Postpartum depression, baby blues…the doctor said I needed to rest more and take care of myself…and I got on the pill, so that should help.”

  “Hallalujah!” he shouted raising his hands to the sky, then he said with a laugh, “I need to take that doctor out for a drink,” then he kissed her cheek, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, honey…you know I’m just messing with you. How’s my baby girl?”

  “She’s doing great…and Wade is fantastic too,” she told him and felt blood rush up her neck and to her face. It was one thing to accept that fact in her heart, but another to say it out loud.

  “He’s a good guy, Jess…I tried to tell you that,” Travis told her seriously.

  “I know, and so did Jazz, but the crazy bitch was covering my ears…I owe everyone, even Tony, Big Mike and Den a huge apology for how I’ve been acting. You guys are my family, and I love you.”

  “We love you too, and have been so damned worried about you…”

  Jess felt her lower lip wobble, as she tried to contain the emotions swirling in her gut, then told him, “I’ve been worried about me too…but guess what? I told Jazzie…I’ve been writing again, and the three songs I have so far are great! I think you’ll like them…or I hope you will.”

  Travis’s eyes lit with excitement and his smile was beaming as he said, “I’m going get the crew up, so we can hear them!” He spun around and ran up the stairs two at a time. Jess flinched hoping she’d be able to do that again soon, too. The cast really did slow her down, a lot…and if there was one thing Jess Sparks hated, it was being slowed down.

  An hour later, after Jess had given them the tabs for the new songs, and they’d played them all through a few times, the band members all stared at one another on the stage speechless, with big smiles on their faces. There was dead silence in the bar, and it stayed that way for several minutes. Finally, Den stood up behind the drum set and threw his sticks up in the air with a huge whoop, then he ran around to Jess and picked her up, twirling her in circles.

  “That was fucking fantastic!” he boomed, and she flinched, as it echoed off the walls of the bar.

  Travis, who’d been sitting at a table by the floor listening, jumped up on the stage and grabbed him, then said, “Holy shit, Den, put her down before you break something else!” then everyone started laughing, until they were bent over with it.

  “She’s baaaaaaaaaaack…” Jazzie drawled grinning, as she set her fiddle back on its stand, then walked over to Jess and gave her a hug too.

  “Which one did you guys like best?” Jess asked breathlessly.

  As one, they all said, “Take My Breath Away,” and Jess sighed, then smiled, as memories of what inspired that song flashed through her mind…and he had, that was for sure.

  “Ya’ll want to do one more run through, so we have them down for tonight?” she asked and they all nodded, then went back to their places. She saw Wade walk in the back door of the bar with Angel in her car seat, and she smiled at him, then motioned him to a table, and leaned back on her stool to whisper to the band.

  Wade hadn’t heard the song yet, and she was glad she was going to be able to sing it to him, without a crowd right now. Denver started the beat, then Jazzie started playing, followed by the others. She locked eyes with Wade across the bar and started singing. It was a magical connection they had as she sang to him, and a slow sexy smile slid over his face, as he listened.