Azaria

by J. H. Hayes

  "Yes?" Azaria responded. "What's wrong, Daneel? You've been distracted all evening."

  "Yeah, well. I have to admit... Well, I have to apologize for something. And you're going to want to rip my head off when I tell you."

  "Don't be silly," Azaria replied, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her best friend so much. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can't be as bad as you think."

  "About your cycle coming too soon. Well... well it was my fault." Daneel held her breath, waiting for Azaria's explosion. She remained lying on her back staring up, unable to look her friend in the eye.

  "What?" Azaria laughed, rolling over to face her, completely mystified by Daneel's ridiculous admission. "How could it be your fault? Izyl said I was just irregular."

  "No. You weren't. It was the tea Yumineh gave you this morning. Do you remember? I told her to do it. I wanted to play a trick on you. But I swear, I didn't know they’d make you leave the Temple."

  "What?" Azaria’s smile straightened, as she began to comprehend what Daneel was trying to say. "It was the tea? What are you talking about?"

  "I put something in it. To make your blood come early. I'm so sorry, Azaria... I didn't know. I didn't think the joke through. I'm sorry." As she plead forgiveness, she finally gathered the courage to roll over and face Azaria's wrath.

  "You did that!?" Azaria said, her temper rising. "Why? How could you not know they’d make me leave the Temple?"

  "I... I didn't know... I didn't think about the evil spirits and all that. I'm so sorry." Daneel explained, on the verge of tears.

  "But... Why??" Azaria demanded. "Daneel, it wasn't funny. I almost missed watching the placement."

  "I know, Azaria... I feel so bad. I've been sick with guilt ever since they made you leave. But I had to tell- Wait! What do you mean you almost missed it?"

  Excited to tell her story, Azaria put her anger aside for the moment. "Well... promise you won't tell anyone. But after we finished hunting, I went for a walk. And I wasn't thinking about where I was going, but maybe the Ta'ar were guiding me. I don't know. But all of a sudden, I was at the edge of the cedar grove and I could see the movers working. I climbed a tree and watched the whole thing." She finished the story with a smug smile that perfectly matched the glimmer in her eye.

  "Really? You saw it!?" Daneel said, overjoyed with relief.

  "Yeah! I did! But you can't tell anyone," Azaria laughed. She hadn't planned to tell anyone herself, not even her best friend, but as it usually did, the truth found its way to the surface.

  "Are you kidding me?" Daneel said, dumbfounded. "Of course I won't tell anyone. I'm so relieved. I thought you’d kick me out of the tent and never talk to me again."

  Azaria thought it over before she answered. Although it had all turned out well enough, it was a dirty thing to do. Daneel's jokes were never so harsh. This seemed almost mean-spirited, even if she hadn't known it would lead to her dismissal from the Temple. "Well, it was a horrible trick, but it all worked out in the end. I saw the placement and I didn't even have to work."

  Now Daneel was laughing with her. "I didn't even think of that! We had to work and you got to relax. That's what I get I guess! I'm still sorry I did it and I'm sure you would’ve rather had a close-up view. But I'm so happy you at least got to see."

  "It's okay, Daneel." Azaria reached out and hugged her. "Don't worry about it anymore. I can tell how bad you feel. At least I won't have to work with the movers anymore. As punishment, you'll have to work with them without me."

  "Ohhh! Don't remind me! But you're right. It's the least I deserve. I promise I won't complain about the work at all anymore."

  Azaria didn't quite believe the claim, but left her skepticism unsaid. The girls talked until late in the night, the intensity of their emotions keeping them up. When finally their eyes closed, they slept soundly.

  ---

  Azaria was content the next sun to be working with the rest of her new pack hunting small game. She was even able to bag a red fox, whose luxuriant pelt would provide fine trimming on a new outfit she planned to make as a gift for Dogahn. She worried a bit she'd get scolded for wasting her efforts on a non-meat bearing catch, but no one ever mentioned it.

  Daneel, despite her promise not to complain about the hardship of the Temple work, found no reason to extend her word to the other girls. She sat next to Yumineh the first chance she had and unleashed a furious verbal assault on the men who'd been ordering her around all morning. "I swear Yumineh, if they assign us to these oafs when we change packs again, I'm quitting. The Ta'araki can protest all they want, but I'll leave. Father will protect me from them. I should leave right now. Why do we keep getting assigned to these idiots, anyway?"

  "I know!" Yumineh agreed. "How come we have to do all the hard work? Azaria has been assigned to the carvers, meal prep and now the hunters, while we're stuck with these fatheads."

  Daneel was surprised Yumineh would mention Azaria, especially since it was her doing that put her with the hunters. "Well, she's not to blame for how they assign us. It's Fahim telling Izyl how to arrange us."

  Yumineh quickly agreed. "I know. It's not Azaria's fault, of course. But they could be fairer in assigning the work packs."

  "That's true," Daneel said.

  "So how did it go last night anyway? Did you tell her? She didn't seem upset with you this morning at all."

  "Oh, not at all!" Daneel agreed. "You're going to laugh. Azaria wasn't even upset. I mean, she thought it was a mean joke. And I think she was kind of upset in principle, but it worked out well for her."

  "What do you mean? How did it work out?" Yumineh was incredulous. She'd expected Daneel to be distraught, anticipating some damage in the relationship between the two Boar Camp girls. So far however, there was little sign of any rift. In fact, they'd come to the early meal chatting merrily as usual.

  Daneel suddenly remembered she'd promised Azaria not to tell anyone of her exploits. "Uhh... she doesn't have to work with the fatheads, right? She gets to hunt now instead. And Azaria loves hunting."

  "That's it?" Yumineh asked. "She's not at all upset about our trick? About missing the placing?"

  "No, I guess not," Daneel looked away, hoping the line of questioning would cease. "I mean, I don't really care... I was just so scared. As long as we're still friends right?"

  "Of course. I'm happy you're still friends," Yumineh said. She turned away and got up. "But I thought we were friends too. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine."

  Daneel could see her friend wasn't buying her denial. Fearing the Fox Camp girl was angry, she panicked. "All right, don't get upset. Azaria made me promise not to tell anyone, so you can't say anything to anyone, okay?"

  "Of course..." Yumineh perked up again. "I won't tell anyone," she promised with a smile, sitting back down.

  "Okay. So after Azaria was done hunting, she snuck back to the Temple and watched the placing from a tree. She didn't miss it at all! Can you believe that?"

  "She watched the placing?" Yumineh asked, her smile slowly inverting.

  "Yeah," Daneel laughed. "She saw the whole thing. She wasn't as close as she would’ve liked, but now she doesn't even have to work with the movers. She's so lucky."

  Yumineh barely heard. She couldn't believe Azaria got to see the placing. Her whole plan had backfired. All her effort, all the risk for naught. Not only did she fail to drive a wedge between her and Daneel, but everything worked out for Azaria. Beneath her skin, Yumineh's blood boiled. It always works out for her. Because she cheats. She cheats and she always gets away with it. And no one sees it but me. It's not fair. Someone has to put a stop to her cheating. "Someone has to tell Fahim," Yumineh said, as if Daneel wasn't there.

  Daneel turned in shock, "What do you mean? Tell Fahim what?"

  "Azaria broke the rules. She cheated, Daneel. She went to the Great Temple during her moonflow. She isn't allowed to do that."

  "Yumineh, you can't tell anyone! You promised!" Daneel whispered, her pan
ic returning.

  Yumineh realized the conundrum she was in. She didn't want to alienate Daneel, but she couldn't bear the thought of Azaria getting away with her cheating again. She whispered back, "I didn't actually promise Daneel. You just asked me to. And what Azaria did was terrible. She desecrated the Great Temple. What if something happens now? What if the slab breaks and falls on someone? What if it falls on you, Daneel? Or me? The Ta'araki have to be warned before someone is hurt."

  Daneel was almost in tears. She cupped her hands around Yumineh's ear and whispered, "Yumineh! You can't! Azaria will know I lied and that I broke my promise. You can't tell anyone. You promised me you wouldn't!!"

  Yumineh stopped to think before answering. If she defied Daneel, the first part of her plan would likely be complete. The friendship between Azaria and Daneel would be broken. But she also needed a way to get close to Dogahn and ruin his relationship with Azaria. Then I can have him... Daneel is important. She's friends with everyone. She knows everything everybody is up to. And gossip spreads like wildfire when it reaches her ears. I need to keep Daneel on my side. Having made her decision, she put her arm around Daneel’s neck and whispered. "Don't worry. I won't say anything. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened between you and Azaria."

  I'll just have to find another way.

  Then she whispered again, "But if someone gets hurt at the Temple, the blood will be on Azaria's hands, and ours for not telling anyone. We're taking a big risk for her. She cheated and now someone may get hurt for it."

  "I know, thank you, Yumineh! Thank you." Daneel answered. As she wiped her eyes, she thought about how right Yumineh was. Azaria did cheat. What if someone did get hurt? Wouldn’t it be her fault for covering for her? Although she’d been happy to learn Azaria saw the placing, now she was scared - and a little annoyed.

  That evening Aiyana, Azaria and her Boar Camp friend Malena sat together enjoying their meal, joined by Daneel and Yumineh. The conversation was unusually slow. Aiyana had made several attempts to spark it and determined to make one more before giving up, "This gazelle is so good, Azaria. I was getting tired of hare and grouse."

  "It is, Azaria. I'm grateful too. I was excited to hear there was fresh gazelle again," Malena said.

  "Thank you," Azaria replied. "I have to admit I'm enjoying it too. I was surprised to see that small herd. But I wasn't the only one who hunted. A lot of girls did it together."

  "That's true,” Aiyana said. "But from what I hear, you're the one that planned the whole hunt and had the first kill." When Azaria only smiled in response Aiyana turned to Daneel and Yumineh, who'd been avoiding all her earlier attempts to involve them in the conversation. She was surprised the usually talkative Boar Camp girl wasn't bothering to congratulate her best friend. "Isn't it nice to have gazelle, Daneel? Yumineh, you’ve barely touched yours."

  As if put on the spot, Daneel looked up and smiled and then turned to Azaria. "Sorry. It's wonderful, Azaria. I'm just exhausted."

  "I'm not hungry," Yumineh said, making no attempt to hide her displeasure. She glared at Azaria and got up. "I'm going to my tent."

  "What's wrong with her?" Aiyana asked after the moody Fox Camp girl had left.

  "Oh, it's nothing, I'm sure," Daneel said. "I think working with these fatheads is taking a toll on her."

  "She gets this way," Malena volunteered. "She gets grumpy every once in a while. But it passes quickly."

  "But she's been glaring at Azaria all evening," Aiyana said, unwilling to let the subject die.

  "I'm sure she doesn't mean to. She's probably not even aware she's doing it," Malena said.

  "You think so? It looked pretty deliberate," Aiyana countered.

  Shut up, Aiyana! Daneel silently commanded. She doesn't know when to stop! "She might be a little annoyed Azaria doesn't have to work with the fatheads, but I'm sure you're right, Malena. She just gets moody and doesn't hide her feelings very well," she said, hoping that would be the end of it.

  "Ohh?" Aiyana replied, feeling protective of the Boar Camp girl she admired so much, the one who'd treated her as a true equal. "That's not very fair. Azaria doesn't choose where she works, and she can't control her moonflow."

  Daneel was glaring at her. "Leave it alone, Aiyana," she said harshly. "We told you it's nothing."

  Azaria's mouth dropped and she cast a steely look at Daneel before turning her gaze to her new friend. Aiyana's head had fallen and her puffy cheeks were growing ever redder. Azaria wanted to tear into Daneel, but had noticed she'd been sharing Yumineh's foul mood all afternoon. Afraid of aggravating her any further, she chose a more diplomatic tact.

  "They're right, Aiyana. They've been stuck serving the men hand and foot in the hot sun, putting up with the crude remarks and inappropriate behavior. And for some reason we keep getting the easy assignments. I don't blame Yumineh for being upset. It's not very fair from her perspective. I feel bad. In fact, I think I'll volunteer for picker duty next. Would you mind, Aiyana?"

  "Sure! That's fine, I don't mind," she agreed.

  Daneel hadn't missed Azaria's fierce glance and immediately felt guilty. "Aiyana, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just having a bad night."

  Aiyana wasn't use to apologies and didn't know what to do with it. "That's okay, Daneel. Maybe you're moonflow is starting too,” she laughed.

  In her misery and frustration, Daneel had been staring at her food the entire meal, shoveling the contents back and forth across her plate. She didn't know why Yumineh's refusal to eat Azaria's contribution should affect her as well, but somehow it just did. Perhaps she was afraid of further antagonizing the Fox Camp girl, whose objection to Azaria’s preferential treatment wasn’t entirely unfounded. Whatever the reason, she hadn't lied when she told Aiyana she was having a bad night and had hoped it would settle the matter. When Aiyana responded with her patronizing remark, however innocent, Daneel's bottom jaw dropped and the contents of her last bite fell out, landing on her barely touched plate. Her hand wrapped around her knife so tightly, it cut into her skin before she felt the pain. But she knew how Azaria would react if she proceeded with the horribly monstrous act she was envisioning on the ugly Falcon Camp girl, so she suppressed it and instead kept her icy glare down at her unappetizing food.

  ---

  Despite their protestations, Azaria and Aiyana were never again assigned to work with the movers, pickers or cutters. Azaria begged Izyl to assign them the toughest assignments, but Izyl threw her hands up and explained Fahim was very specific in what she wanted them doing. Their preferential treatment was hard to ignore. Yumineh took every opportunity to drive the point, especially in front of Daneel. The experience left Azaria frustrated, but Daneel had little sympathy for her troubles. She realized Azaria had no choice in the matter, but her sheer exhaustion from the unceasing labor and blazing sun, coupled with Yumineh’s constant provoking, left Daneel increasingly bitter each night. Sensitive to her friend's own hardship, Azaria soon began avoiding her.

  As their tenure at the Great Temple ground on, Azaria and Daneel spoke less and less. Azaria was sure Yumineh hated her now and stopped eating with them. She saw Daneel only before and after they slept. She tried sparking conversations with her, but Daneel stopped responding in her normal chipper manner. She took to giving one or two word brush-offs and when Azaria asked her if anything was wrong she would only say that she was tired from the never ending work. Azaria wanted to believe her. She was tired at the end of each summer sun also and she was more physically inclined. Growing up, Daneel didn't like working outside. She performed the bare minimum of outdoor duties expected of her, like gathering foodstuffs or fetching water. She rarely went hunting or fishing and never volunteered for anything outside a shelter, like the construction of new dwellings or journeys to neighboring camps. She wasn’t suited for this type of work. Azaria knew Daneel had unfortunately landed on Fahim's bad side with her sardonic quip during the orientation and was being made an example of, only being ha
nded the worst of assignments. I wonder if she realizes that's what happened? And Yumineh's been stuck with the hardest work because she paired with Daneel. Instead of faulting me for getting the good assignments, she should blame Daneel for getting the bad ones.

  Yumineh's constant irritation with Azaria continued to have a creeping effect on Daneel. When Azaria was assigned to the carvers again, Yumineh was openly sarcastic, making sure everyone within earshot could hear. "It must be nice to be Fahim's favorite," she announced. Daneel laughed with the other girls, leaving Azaria red with embarrassment and feeling isolated.

  "Don't listen to them, Azaria," Aiyana said, pulling on her arm, urging her to ignore the rude comment.

  As they walked away, Azaria heard Yumineh yell out, "Go ahead, little Ta'araki, we'll take care of the real work!"

  Seeing the look of angry betrayal as Azaria's turned away, an overpowering wave of shame overcame Daneel, knowing deep inside her best friend had no control over the assignments and feeling confused as to why she was beginning to resent her. "That's enough, Yumineh," she said under her breath.

  Yumineh, not wanting to test the new friendship which was coming along so well, held her tongue, though she had half a mind to follow them, spitting out more insults. She enjoyed the reaction she received from the other girls and felt especially empowered when Daneel laughed with them.

  Working with Dholuhn that morning, Azaria was more than distracted. She'd had to apologize to him twice already when he asked her for a particular tool and she hadn't responded. "Azaria, what is wrong with you this morning? You don't seem to be here," he asked.

  "I'm sorry, Dholuhn," she said. "You're right, I'm a bit distracted. I won't let it happen again."

  "It's okay. It happens to all of us, even the great master Dholuhn every now and then," he said, attempting to raise her spirits. When she only barely cracked a smile, he continued, "Why don't you take a walk or maybe a swim? It will help bring you into balance with the Great Mother. This rock will always be here."