by E. M. Moore
I’m not sure there’s any way to repay her, but surely loyalty is one of those ways…even when someone is going through something major.
By the time I sink my last shot, I want to call Dawn again and tell her I appreciate her for everything she’s done. I also think I might’ve talked myself into feeling bad for Lake. Ridiculous, I know. At the same time I think it, I want to reject it. There’s got to be a fine line somewhere between someone worthy of being pulled out of the darkness, and someone who made their bed in the dark, and now just needs to lie in it—whatever the cause. I guess time will tell where Lake falls in that spectrum.
19
The next morning, I don’t show up at breakfast early enough to avoid everyone. I’m also not going to sit with Chase and his lacrosse teammates. I’m here at basketball camp, and it’s about time I start acting as if I belong, no matter what.
I go through the line, placing some French toast slices on my plate along with a banana and a fruit cup. When I turn around, I head right for the table that has the rest of the Ballers already sitting at it. Just as I sit, Lake looks up to snarl at me. “What the fuck? You lost?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so.” I take a bite out of my French toast as Sloan’s gaze lingers on me. It makes my skin heat. “Everyone ready for this morning’s run?”
Alec rolls his eyes. “I’ve never been a fan of running every day.”
Lake glares at him, but either Alec doesn’t notice because he’s too busy looking at me, or he’s trying not to notice the death glare sent his way. Either way, I just continue to eat my breakfast like normal. It’s probably the most intense meal I’ve ever sat through. I thought the one with Sloan’s parents at his house kept me on edge. This is worse in some ways. Wordlessly, Hayes’s arm wraps around my hips in a protective manner. It stays there the whole time while he eats his food with his opposite hand. He helps stifle the butterflies a bit, so that I can listen in on what the others are talking about instead of living in my head the whole time repeating my mantra, lest I forget I’m supposed to be a badass female basketball player.
With how humid it is in this cafeteria right now, I can already tell today is going to be a scorcher. After all the exercises today, I’m definitely jumping in that lake. “How come I never see you guys go swimming?” I ask.
“Because the only pair of tits around here are yours,” Lake says.
I shrug, looking at the other guys. I couldn’t care less if Lake and his brother showed up, but maybe I could get the other Ballers to come hang out with me. I need friends. “I’ll go with you, Daddy’s Girl. All you have to do is ask,” Sloan purrs. “I happen to like your—.”
A throat clears behind me. Hayes’s fingers press into my side while I slowly look around, just praying it isn’t my dad behind us. It didn’t sound like him, but you never know. I was too busy drooling over what Sloan was about to say.
It’s not my dad, thank God. It’s Chase. I smile up at him. “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.”
He takes in Hayes’s arm around my back, then slowly lifts his gaze to my eyes once more. “We decided to take the lacrosse thing a little more seriously.” I laugh but am interrupted right away. “I’d still like to show you some lacrosse moves sometime.”
Well, that sounded on the verge of being suggestive. Ryan thinks so, too, because he rises to his feet. “Back off, Fisher.”
Chase holds his hand up. “I know she doesn’t like me, so fucking chill, okay?”
“That actually sounds like fun,” I say right away, trying to keep the display of testosterone at a minimum. “I’m thinking of hanging out on the beach after our sessions today. Maybe meet me there?”
“Great,” he says, his smile widening. “Text me?”
“Sure.”
He walks back to the lacrosse table. I wave at the guys and then turn back around. Fewer faces are smiling at me now than were smiling at me only a minute ago. Sloan laughs darkly. “Oh, Tessa. Haven’t you learned yet that we don’t play well with others?”
I know I’m walking into pricker bush territory here, but I shrug anyway. “None of you seemed interested in swimming, so—.”
“I’ll be there,” Hayes says. His arm tightens around me, and he moves me closer to him by a good few inches. My thigh is against his, and I’m almost swaddled into his side.
Ryan watches Lake’s profile as if he’s looking for any sign this is affecting him, but he seems disinterested. It’s possible me sitting here threw him for a loop that he wasn’t ready for.
I just stare at them blankly, hoping it comes across as if they can come if they want…or don’t. Secretly, I’m hoping they all show up shirtless, so I can watch them from behind my sunglasses without getting caught.
I mean, it’s a terrible part to have to play, but someone has to do it.
Sloan is smirking at me. Alec has his gaze set on his plate, his fork moving his food around. He hasn’t said much this whole breakfast. I get up to put my tray away, so I can stretch, but Hayes puts his hand on my arm to stop me. He pulls the tray from my hands gently and puts it on top of his own before rising to his feet, taking them both with him to the tray return. I take the opportunity to slide down toward Alec while the rest of the Ballers get up to leave the building. “Hey,” I say. He looks up at me, his green eyes overflowing with unsaid words. “What’s going on?” I hedge.
He looks up at his friends who are now walking back out into the main part of the building. He watches them go and doesn’t relax until Hayes finally leaves us in here alone. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My parents got a call from a college…about baseball.”
My mouth drops. “You’re kidding. That’s amazing, Alec.”
The only thing is, he doesn’t look like this is great news. “I don’t know what to do, Tessa. I’m expected to go to the same college as them. We’re supposed to play ball together. We’ve been talking about this since elementary school.”
I grab Alec’s hand. “But those are dreams of a young kid. You’re allowed to change your mind.” I lower my voice. “You found another sport that you love more, it’s not like you found out you enjoy killing people, Alec. Why wouldn’t they understand?”
“It’s not that they won’t,” he says, finally releasing a breath. “I don’t want to disappoint them, and I also don’t know who I am without them.”
I turn my head slightly. I had no idea he thought that way. I thought his reluctance on telling the Ballers what he really wanted was because he thought they’d be pissed. I run my hand down his arm, my hold tightening on him. It feels too normal to touch him like this. “You have to say something soon,” I urge.
“I’m not saying anything during camp.” He shakes his head. “Camp has always been a big thing for us, I’m not telling them now.”
I leave it at that for now. I can’t force him to tell the rest of the guys. “What do your parents think?”
He smiles now, and the brightness of it makes me melt inside. “They’re so happy.”
“Your sister?”
He laughs, the richness of it coating me like a warm blanket. “She thinks it’s ‘okay’,” he says. “Though, she wants me to play basketball in the worst way. I think she just actually wants me to be with you.”
Our gazes lock. There’s something so breathtaking about a boy who lets his guard down. I want to see it all. I want to see him upset and angry. I want to see him with fascination in his eyes and excitement.
“They tell me you know,” he says.
I nod, assuming he means that they all cast me aside this past year to help me. When Dawn mentioned it, it does sound pretty sexist. I can take a lot of shit. They, of all people, should know that. “You shouldn’t have done that,” I tell him. I put some space between us by sliding over a little. He just feels too comfortable right now. “You should’ve let me have a say.”
His mouth drops. Then, he quickly shuts it and looks away. “I did what I thought was right.”
> I squeeze his arm and stand. “Come on, Christopoulos, it’s time for me to kick your ass on our morning run again.”
He gets up slowly. I stare at him as he moves, wondering if he believed I was going to be fine with them doing that because they thought they were doing it for me. The truth is, they were doing it for them, too. They didn’t want to rock the boat with Lake. They took the easy way out.
Alec follows me out into the main building and then out the front door to the little swatch of grass where we’ve taken to stretching before the run. Jacquin is already out there. He and Lake are talking off to the side. I watch them intently as I come down the short set of steps. Hopefully, Jacquin is sharing with him how to be a good teammate and not an asshole, but that’s probably too much to ask. Besides, it’s not Jacquin’s job to try to teach Lake how to be a decent human being.
A few stretches later and we’re already moving out for our run. At the last second, a body starts running next to me, and I almost trip over myself at the intrusion until I realize it’s my dad. Then, I smile up at him. “Running with us today, old man?”
A few of the guys around us laugh. “Ohh, someone’s got jokes this morning,” my dad says. “You believe this, Linc?” Dad asks.
Ryan turns around. He has a genuine smile on his face when he looks at my dad. It makes my chest squeeze a little. Is it wrong that I don’t want to share him? “She’s full of it this morning, Mr. Dale.”
My dad has his “Real Deal” persona on. He kicks it into gear and soon he and I are in front of almost everyone else except for Jacquin who looks impressed that the old “has been” can still keep up with us. Really, my father is an enigma for his age. He’s gifted as an athlete and always has been. Ryan, too, sticks with us. With my dad on the run, I can tell that everyone else is trying harder too. There’s something about him that makes people want to do better. I know it’s always been that way with me.
While we’re happily running along, the guys all joking this morning instead of competing to win—or maybe that was just me—Dad leans over. “Have you heard from your mom lately? I can’t get ahold of her.”
I turn toward him. “Well, she went on vacation.”
“She told me about that. I thought she was coming home yesterday or today, but she won’t pick up.”
I watch my dad for a few strides. I wonder why he cares that she won’t pick up. He left her. There’s not much he should have to talk to her on the phone about either, because I’m older. It isn’t as if I’m a little kid they need to coordinate swapping me over from one residence to another. “I can try her later,” I say. “Is something going on?”
He shakes his head. “Not really.”
“Okay… Well, if I get ahold of her, I’ll tell her you want to talk to her.”
For my mom’s sake, I’m kind of hoping she’s avoiding his calls. She doesn’t need to be pulled back into the Timothy Dale stratosphere when he doesn’t want her there anymore. My mom’s trying to move on, but I still think she’d love nothing more than for my dad to ride back in with his expensive car and take up the other bay in the garage again. Me, personally? I don’t know how she’d ever be able to trust him again.
I turn my head just slightly to look at Ryan first, then Sloan, Alec, and Hayes. It’s a good question I need to ask myself, too. Once trust is taken away, can it ever come back?
20
It’s been a good day. Warmth clings to my skin from the heat of the sun, and also the heat of four pairs of eyes on me.
Today, we worked on mindset again, and since we weren’t broken up into partners or positions, I got to be in the same room as my Ballers for the whole day. Lunch was even was brought to us, so that the fifteen basketball players in that room with dreams so big it’s almost scary, wouldn’t have to leave.
At the end, I’m practically buzzing with excitement. Not only did we talk about everything I’ve ever wanted in basketball, but the lure of the lake with the guys is calling to me. I turn around, walking backward, and smirk at them. “What’s that look for?” Sloan asks. His brown hair is flat on his head from our run earlier, but he’s no less handsome than normal.
I shrug. “Nothing.”
Hayes is off to the side, watching me carefully. He’s got a slight tilt to his lips like he’s waiting for me to do or say something.
Lake and River are in the back of the pack. Before long, they break off and go toward the guys’ cabins, but the rest of them are still following me. Once my feet hit the sand, I turn, peel off my shirt and run for the water. My feet splash in. When the water is thigh high, I dive in, almost gasping as the chilled water coats me. It’s a nice sort of thrill that makes me pop up out of the water with a huge gasp. The guys have followed me, tearing off their shirts at the water’s edge and dropping them there. I swim backwards, moving my hands to take me further and further out. I duck under and then come up. My basketball shorts are weighing me down a bit, but I’m not taking those off. I’d only be swimming in my underwear then. At least now I have a sports bra and shorts on. They’ve seen me in less, but if my dad happens to show up like he did on the run this morning, he’s not going to wonder if I’m losing my mind or not.
Hayes only wades in waist deep, his fingers trickling through the water. Sloan sees me looking at him and says, “Hayes can’t swim.”
“No?” I ask, looking up at Hayes to find that it’s true. He’s blushing. I push off the sandy bottom of the lake and swim toward him until I can walk myself up to him. “You can’t swim?”
He shakes his head. “My parents weren’t much for vacationing.”
I frown at that. Sometimes I forget that I have more than most. It’s second nature for me to come home from school and just jump right in our pool. I’ve done it for years, winter or not. My mother used to joke that if I hadn’t fallen in love with basketball like my dad, I would’ve been a swimmer. I take his hand and lead him out. He’s hesitant at first. “You don’t have to go too far,” I tell him. By the time he’s chest deep in the water, I wonder why I wanted him out here at all. I’ve just taken away a really nice view.
Hands grab me from behind and pull me back. I hit a hard chest, and I’m suddenly encapsulated in essence de Sloan. He’s intoxicating in some ways. He’s so unabashed, handsome, and cocky. It wouldn’t surprise me if he fell right into his father’s footsteps, but without all the cheating and the scandals. “I missed you,” he says in my ear before he tugs on it lightly with his teeth.
“Ivy,” Ryan says.
I can feel Sloan’s lips curve up against my cheek. He arranges both arms around me in a vise grip. “Yes?” Ryan shakes his head and looks away, which only makes Sloan laugh. “Ryan’s mad, Daddy’s Girl. This is the first time he doesn’t want to share.”
“Do you?” Ryan snaps back.
“I could live with you guys all disappearing right now,” Sloan says, his hand curving around my hip, then tracing closer to my center. He’s making me squirm, and I have a sneaking suspicion everyone knows what he’s up to.
“Not likely,” Hayes says. He says it flippantly, but in that way only Hayes can. When he talks, people listen. It’s the rarity of it all, coupled with the richness of his voice. He could probably be a voice-over actor if basketball doesn’t work out. Not that it wouldn’t. After he’s retired, he could definitely have a career in broadcasting. It’s just the talking part that might get him. People do actually want to hear the announcers call the game and not just sit there looking handsome.
I put my hand over Sloan’s to stop it from inching any closer to my core. Ryan’s gaze locks with mine. I don’t know if I should move because he’s making me uncomfortable, or if I should raise an eyebrow at him and stay right where I am.
“Someone’s just mad because he hasn’t gotten a kiss yet.”
I blink at Ryan. He just glares at Sloan without telling him the truth. So Ryan hasn’t said anything about the kiss we shared yesterday? This is interesting. I thought the Ballers did that. I thought the
y didn’t have secrets from one another, especially about girls.
Maybe I am getting to them.
Instead of speaking up, telling them we kissed, I ask, “How exactly do you guys plan on going to the same school anyway? What if it doesn’t work out?”
Alec’s shoulders tense. He turns around suddenly and sits right at the edge of the water so that his toes are in the small waves lapping at the shore, but the rest of him is out. “We know where we’re going,” Sloan says, speaking up.
“Oh really?” I ask. “You’ve already been accepted. You have scholarships?”
A tingle of fear shoots through me. Maybe I’m already late.
He smirks. “No, but we’re going to State. Where else would we go? The Ballers deserve to go to the best college basketball team in the conference.”
“But what if you don’t? I mean, what if some of you get in, but the others don’t?” It’s a legit question. “Not only that, one of you might get a better scholarship offer at a different school.”
Sloan lets me go. “It’s not about scholarships.”
“Okay, what about playing time? One of you might get more playing time at a different school. The school you’re going to isn’t just going to let the five of you play together as starters. There’s going to be other players, other good ones.”
It’s silent for a while. All I hear is the gentle movement of us in the water. Ryan’s looking down at the ripples his arms make as he glides them over the surface. Sloan’s swimming on his back, eyes lifted toward the sky. Alec, of course, is just staring at me. Hayes’s eyes are locked on me, too, though there’s a slight narrowing of his like he’s trying to figure out why I’m asking all this.