by E. M. Moore
“Where do you want to go, Dale?”
My cheeks flame. Honestly, State is on my list, too. Not only is it our home college team, but they have a really great women’s team as well. There are several others I’m interested in, but instead of saying that, I tell them I’m keeping my options open. There really are a lot of factors to consider. The Ballers can keep sticking their heads into the sand pretending that they’re just going to keep coasting, but again, they’re not going to be the kings of the school if they all get into State.
Even playing field. Something like that could cause a rift between the Ballers quickly. Maybe that’s why no one wants to talk about it.
Something moving catches my eye. I turn toward the little bit of woods that separates our cabins from the other section to see that the lacrosse team is coming toward us, lacrosse sticks in hand. I smile and wade out of the water. I shout that I’ll be right back before running into my cabin to change quickly. I opt for my bikini with a pair of regular athletic shorts. Since my skin is already slicked with water, it’s a little difficult to get changed, but I’m back out near the water’s edge in record time. The Ballers and the lacrosse guys are just staring at one another. I’ve pulled out all the towels I brought with me and drop them on the sand for the guys to use if they need to before walking up to Chase. He hands a stick over to me. It’s not as if I’ve never held one of these, but it’s also not something I’m used to. The other teammates hold sticks out to the Ballers and soon, there’s more going on here than just showing me how to play lacrosse. The guys are all talking shit. Most of it isn’t serious…for now.
Two more lacrosse guys emerge from the slice of forest with collapsible goals. I arch a brow at Chase. “So, this was your goal all along?”
He smirks, not even bothering to play dumb. “I thought they could stand to be brought down a peg or two.”
“You know they’re just going to challenge you to basketball after this.”
Chase shrugs. “It’s all good.”
Lacrosse is a hard game to pick up. The whole stick factor holds a different element that the Ballers and I aren’t used to. In short, we kind of suck. After the first game that the Ballers dub Big Balls vs. Small Balls, they take pity on us, whether we use big balls or not, and split up the team, so playing skills wise, it’s more even. Lake and River even come down and get in on a play or two. For an hour or so, things are actually blissfully peaceful until Hayes accidentally gets knocked in the mouth by a stick. His temper goes from zero to sixty in nanoseconds. He’s right in the guy’s face, threatening to tear it off before any of the Ballers can even run up to him. Oddly enough, it’s Lake who settles him down while the lacrosse guy looks like he’s going to piss his pants.
“Damn,” Chase says. “That was intense.”
I’m looking at Hayes like he’s a new person. I’ve never seen him like that.
“Maybe it’s time to go our separate ways,” I say to Chase. When he looks at me, I continue. “We don’t need anything like that happening again.” I hand my stick over to him. “But thanks for playing with me. It was fun.”
“So, you like lacrosse now?”
I smirk at him. “I wouldn’t go that far. It was okay.”
Most of the lacrosse players are already leaving. Hayes has turned and is walking in the opposite direction. None of the guys follow him, which makes me think that this is just something that he does. Lake and River take off until it’s just Sloan, Alec, Ryan, and I with Chase giving me a last wave right before he takes off for his teammates. At least everyone took that rather well. There’s a difference between competition and actually disliking someone. At least, that’s how I’ve always felt. I’ve watched my dad go to dinners with other pro players since the time I was little and none of them carry animosity off the court, even if the game was a tight one amongst rival teams.
“Hey,” I say, “Didn’t the cafeteria signs say there was going to be ice cream tonight?”
The Ballers just shrug, so I take off for the main building to find out. Eating ice cream reminds me of when Dawn made me go to the Warriors baseball game just so we could watch Alec. When I look over at him, though, he’s already veering off toward the cabins. “I have to call my parents tonight.”
“Oh, okay,” I say. I watch him walk away and wonder if he’s pissed at me for bringing up all those questions earlier. It’s not like I was going to say anything to them about him wanting to play baseball, but it’s a legit question to start asking them how they think they’re going to be able to go to the same college and keep things the way they are. It seems a bit nonsensical to me.
Sloan whistles low under his breath. “Someone’s getting something.”
Ryan stops walking, so I tear my gaze off Alec and turn toward where Sloan is staring. What I see makes me stop in my tracks.
“Oh shit,” Sloan says. “Is that…?”
It is. It’s my dad…and my mom making out like teenagers against the wall of the main building. What the hell is she doing here?
I turn toward Ryan. His mouth has dropped, and he looks like he’s about to lose it. “Ryan, I—”
He pulls away from my attempt to grab his arm. Then, he stalks off back toward the cabins. My heart is in my throat.
“Shit,” Sloan says.
I glare at the two of them. I can’t say that I’m not a little happy about this, but damn. Why did Ryan have to see that? Why does my dad have to be so fucking irresponsible right now? It’s not just me my dad’s screwing with, it’s Ryan now, too.
I don’t even bat an eye. I run up to Ryan. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“You’re sorry? You’re probably thrilled.”
“Really? Have you forgotten I know exactly what it’s like to be in your position? At least I can say I didn’t know about it ahead of time.”
His throat works. He stops walking and faces me. We’re out of the way of the cabin, thankfully, only because another small cabin is blocking our view. “You’re never going to be able to forgive me for that, are you?”
I shrug. I honestly don’t know.
He steps up until our toes touch. “I didn’t think it was going to last, Dale. Nothing my mom ever does lasts. And besides, do you really think I wanted that to happen? That I want to be lying in bed thinking about you while your dad is a couple doors down screwing my mother?”
I grimace. I really didn’t need that thrown in my face. “Don’t be so crass.”
“Or what?” His chest rises in front of him. He still doesn’t have a shirt on, and it’s one glorious view. “You don’t want to hear how I lay in my bed thinking of you. How every time the guys said they did something with you, I wanted to punch them in the face because I had you first.” His gaze rakes over me. “Is that too crass for you?”
My body is sparking to life. This isn’t the boy that I held hands and made out with a few years ago. He’s so much older and more mature. Despite the fact I’m wondering where he learned to say things like that, I’m also turned on by it more than I want to admit. “Don’t change the subject,” I stammer out. “You’re hurt by what you just saw.”
“I expect it,” Ryan says, his teeth gritting against one another.
I push off him. “Well, I don’t.” I turn away and head toward the main building.
Ryan grabs me. “What are you doing?”
“Telling my dad to get his shit together.”
“What? Why? He’s with your mother, isn’t that what you want?”
“As far as I can tell right now, both our moms deserve better.” It hurts me to say that. The pain slices through me deep. I used to look up to my father so much, but what he’s been doing lately just isn’t acceptable. He can’t string two women around like this. What’s his problem?
Ryan doesn’t stop me from leaving this time. By the time I get back to the main building, my parents aren’t lip locked anymore, which is great. My mom sees me first. She wipes at her mouth. There are tears in her eyes. “Hi, Honey.�
�
“Hi, Mom,” I say, but I’m only glaring at my father. “What are you doing?”
My dad turns his neck to look at me. I can tell he’s confused, and that my mom is upset. The whole thing just makes me sick. They’re adults. They should be able to handle their shit.
“Did you know that Ryan Linc just saw all that? Did you?” I yell, pointing back at the cabins.
My dad freezes. My mom lets out a sharp sob. “It’s my fault.”
I run both hands down my face. “The hell it is. Maybe if my dad learned to keep his dick in his pants, we wouldn’t be going through any of this.”
“Quintessa,” my mom exclaims, but I’m past the point of caring. I don’t know whether I’m fueled more by my own hurt…or Ryan’s. She moves forward. “I kissed him.”
“From what I saw, there was kissing going on on both sides.” I look up at her finally. Her face is tinged in red, more pronounced around the eyes. “Mom,” I say. My heart is broken for her.
“Tessa’s right,” my dad says. “I should behave better.”
My mother spins. “Tim, you certainly didn’t ask me to come here. I came here because I wanted to talk to you. When I saw you, I just—”
He waves her away. “If you two don’t mind, I think I need to go find Ryan and tell him that even adults can fuck up.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. “You should tell his mom, too. Give her more courtesy than you gave mine.”
My dad winces, but there’s a hell of a lot more I could say to him. He passes by and puts his hand on my mom’s shoulder. “Are you going to be okay?”
She nods, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. When he leaves, my mom confesses the whole thing to me. She tells me she got back from her vacation missing my father more than ever, so she drove all the way here to see him. When she got here, she just couldn’t help herself.
I still think he kissed her back, but I feel sorrier than ever for my mom. For Ryan. For all of us. What a fucked up situation we find ourselves in.
21
Texts from the majority of the Ballers go unanswered while Sloan sends me sarcastic updates. Hour two of no talking. What will the third hour bring?
They’re keeping a smile on my face, but my stomach is also gnawing at itself. At least I was glad to hear that Hayes is back in the cabin. He’s one of the ones not talking, but is that really so much of a surprise?
It’s Ryan that I’m curious about now. I wonder what my dad said to him. I wonder if my dad will follow my advice and actually talk to Ryan’s mom to make sure she knows what happened before it just gets dropped on her like it did with my mom. Or worse, that her kid would have to tell her like I did. I honestly can’t understand a fucking thing he’s done since he’s left my mom.
My poor mother is spending the night at a nearby hotel. My parents are supposed to talk it out, and then she’s going to drive home in the morning. It’s past midnight, and I should’ve been asleep hours ago, but all I can think about is what happened. How my heart leaps in my throat for a brief moment thinking that things were finally going to return back to normal before it came crashing down again when I realized that none of this is right anymore. Just because the past was perfect doesn’t mean the same thing can work in the present anymore. My parents are two different people now. If they did find their way back to one another, there’d have to be a lot of healing and reintroducing themselves to one another.
But, honestly, I think that’s a long shot. My dad wanted to go to Ryan more than he wanted to talk things out with my mom. This is just going to be another crushing case of loss for her, only this time, she brought it on herself. Not that I can blame her. I’ve had similar thoughts lately.
My dad even texted me, telling me he wants to talk with me tomorrow. I didn’t bother responding. It’s not as if I can avoid him. I’m at his camp after all.
I turn on my side. How did all of this drama follow me to a basketball camp? It sounds like a freaking soap opera.
“Tessa,” a voice whispers.
I sit up in bed until I hear the sound again. I look toward the door and find Sloan’s adorable face looking back at me. I glare at him. “It’s past curfew. What are you doing?”
“It is past curfew, so hurry up and let me in.”
I groan, then go to the door and unlock it. As soon as I open the door, I hear the crickets as they chirp away. I have the fan on in my room, so that it drowns most of that annoying sound out while I’m trying to sleep. “What are you doing?” I ask again. He’s dressed in a wife beater and ball shorts. I love all of Sloan’s different tastes. He has the put together Senator’s son look along with the athlete look. Then there’s this haphazard outfit probably just thrown on that still makes me swim with want.
“I was just checking on you,” he says. It’s hard to tell what color his eyes are right now in the dark. But if I had to guess, they’re whatever the color concern is. Maybe a little greener than normal with smudges of brown.
“I’m fine,” I tell him.
He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t say anything more. He moves over to my bed and sits down. I stare after him, my head dropping to the side like I can’t believe he’d just invite himself onto my bed like that. He pats the mattress next to him, completely unbothered by any of it. When I sit, he turns toward me, grabbing my hands in his. “Is your mom okay?”
I blink up at him. I didn’t expect anyone to ask me that. “I don’t know. I hope so.”
“My mother’s been the other woman and met the other women,” he says softly. “She tries to pretend like it doesn’t hurt her, but I know it does.” He strokes my thumb absentmindedly. “I often wonder which one of them strayed first and how different my life would be if they weren’t cheaters and adulterers. I swear my dad’s like the butt of every joke in the senate.”
I roll my eyes at that. “I’m sure there are plenty of others just like him sitting on their high horses.”
“Apparently my dad just sucks at keeping it quiet.”
What a thing to bond over. My parents are just as fucked up as yours… Should we celebrate with a toast?
“I do know that none of them ever think about us when it’s happening. It took me a long time to realize that none of it was my fault,” Sloan says. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t make it suck any less.”
“How’d you get to be so wise, Ivy?”
“Experience,” he says. Then when that can also be turned into a sexual suggestion, he waggles his eyes up and down. “Want to see?”
I laugh and push him away playfully. “I guess you can be a nice guy when you want to be.”
“Don’t tell anyone that. It might ruin my reputation.”
“Or elevate it,” I say.
He lowers his brows. “You think girls are turned on by the term ‘nice guy’. You’re wrong.”
“I am.”
He shakes his head. “No, you’re not, Daddy’s Girl. The fact that you’re still talking to any of us is proof of that.”
“Maybe I just hold out hope for all of you.”
He places a single finger under my chin. “I’m glad you do. Someone has to.”
The way he says it makes my stomach churn. Maybe that’s the recurring theme of the Ballers’ lives. Everything they have is all superficial. Sure, they get the girls and the accolades, but the only thing they’ve ever had that’s real is one another. That’s why I threaten them. Because I want in.
The shift in me comes all of a sudden. I lean up, pressing my lips to his. I’ve thrown him off, but only for a fraction of a second. His hands dive into my hair, bringing me close to him. An almost animalistic sound of hunger escapes from his throat, making my pulse take off like rapid fire. His hands skim over my stomach, up around my rib cage, then finally to my breast. I inhale sharply.
“Oh fuck. You’re not wearing a bra.”
“I’m in my pajamas.”
He kneads my breasts, which coaxes embarrassing moans out of me. He pushes me gen
tly until I fall back on the bed. His hand slides up under my shirt, closing around my breast. He leans over me, moving my shirt up until he’s exposed me. I feel his hot breath on me before his mouth closes around my nipple. My hips arch off the bed until his other hand catches me, forcing them back onto the mattress.
“Sloan,” I pant.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” He teases my nipple with his tongue before moving to the other. I pull him close to me, arching my body into his. “Christ, Tessa. You’re killing me.”
“You have months to make up for.”
He groans hard. He kisses his way down the center of my chest before hooking his fingers over the waistband of my shorts. He moves them down slowly, waiting until his kisses have caught up with my shorts that are just now moving around my hips. His mouth lingers there, swirling his tongue in delicious circles. “I’ve thought about this over and over again,” he confesses. “I was so close last time. Just one little taste.”
He pulls my shorts and panties down the rest of the way, and I help by kicking them off. He perches himself between my legs, his own excitement straining in his shorts as he lowers himself. This is so familiar, but there’s no one to stop us now. No threat of Sloan’s parents or party guests. The only one who can stop this now is one of us.
I place my hands on the back of his neck with gentle pressure. I swear I can hear him smirking even though that’s not even a thing, but a second later, I don’t even care. I feel the tease of his breath first, then his tongue as it sweeps over me. It sends a sudden jolt through me, then a long, low moan that tightens my hold on him. He kisses and swirls and teases until I’m coming apart, my hands in his hair. My fingers dig into his shoulders as I vent my release into the cabin.
“Mmm,” he murmurs, kissing his way back up my body until he lies next to me. I turn toward him, my shirt still caught up around my upper chest. He reaches out a hand to bring the hem down, then pulls the sheet up from the foot of the bed to cover my lower half. “I swear, Tessa.” He locks eyes with me. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make me worthy of you again.”