Falling for Autumn

by Topham Wood, Heather

  “Not yet,” he said softly. “I think I’ll need a dozen ice cold showers, but I want to do this right with you. And I think that means not rushing into this.”

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek before answering. “And that’s okay with you? Waiting?”

  “Yes,” he answered automatically. He reached out his arm and pulled me up once I latched onto his forearm. “Although I want nothing more than to take you right now, I can’t. It wouldn’t be right and I would feel like an ass if I pushed you too hard.”

  “But I think I’m ready…”

  He interrupted me. “You sound unsure and I’m fine with that. Because when we do have sex, I want you to have zero regrets.”

  I didn’t think I’d have regrets, but I needed a little perspective. Lying partially naked in his arms couldn’t provide the reassurance I was thinking with the right body part. But I had a strong sense as soon as I left him, my body would be begging to let him finish what he started. I had it bad for Blake Preston.

  “Do you know I have a favorite math theory?” he said.

  I pressed my breasts against his solid chest and got comfortable in his arms. The sexual tension was still between us, but I was intrigued by Blake’s sudden change of subject.

  “No,” I giggled. “But I think it’s adorable that a big strong alpha football player has a favorite math theory.”

  His smile was contemplative. “It’s called unsolvability. It means there are math problems that don’t abide by a set of rules, you can’t verify if they’re true or not based on a math theory. They defy logic and can’t be solved in the usual way.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “And it reminds me of us. On the outside, it seems like things can’t work. There are too many variables trying to keep us apart. But despite it all, we’re together and being with you is the best thing to ever happen to me.”

  “You’re the best thing to happen to me too.” I pressed my lips to his bare shoulder. “But what variables? What’s trying to keep us apart?”

  “Things from before that I can’t tell you. I should tell you, but I don’t want it to ruin everything. Because it feels like what we have is fragile and the more you get to know about me, the more likely it will all shatter.”

  “I can accept you as you are right now. No more questions until you’re ready to give me the answers. But I do want them from you one day. Because I’m not afraid to know you and I can take it. I’m patient and I’ll wait for as long as you need.”

  His eyes were filled with pain and I resolved to let him be. I needed to be pushed, but not everyone processed pain in the same way. Whatever was haunting Blake would be driven out when he was brave enough to face it.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Thanks for letting me practice on you,” Lexi said as she braided my hair for the fourth time that evening. Finn had invited her to a family wedding and she had a complicated braiding style in mind she first wanted to try out on me.

  “No problem,” I said and reached for the bowl of chips we were sharing while watching a marathon of classic romance movies on cable. We’d been waiting for Casey to join our girls’ night, but she was a no-show. It was a Friday night and Lexi and I guessed she bailed to go to a party.

  “How do I look?” I asked as she tied the braids in place. The style involved two French braids coming together at the nape of my neck secured with several bobby pins.

  Lexi sighed. “You look amazing, but I have a feeling I won’t be able to pull it off and will look like a ten-year-old. My hair isn’t long enough and I’m worried the extensions will be obvious.”

  I jumped out of my chair and checked out my reflection in the mirror across the room. “I think it will look great with the floral dress you’re wearing. It will give you a cool bohemian chic vibe.”

  “Maybe.”

  A minute later, I paused the movie as Lexi and I heard persistent knocking at our door. After checking the keyhole, I let Casey in. She barreled into the room and sank into the chair I previously occupied. Her cheeks were flushed and a sheen of sweat had broken out across her forehead.

  Lexi stood up and brushed the chips off of her black pants. “What happened to you? We told you to come by two hours ago.”

  “It’s your fault I’m late.” Casey settled her accusing stare on me. “I ran into Will and somehow I ended up back in his room…”

  “I thought you smelled like Chinese food,” Lexi squealed.

  “It’s all Autumn’s fault I hooked up with him. She and Blake were so sickly sweet with their you complete me nonsense I was feeling lonely and vulnerable.”

  “I would never be cheesy enough to tell Blake he completes me.” By Lexi and Casey’s matching disbelieving expressions, I guessed they didn’t believe it.

  I held up my hands in surrender. “What? We’re talking about Casey here.”

  “Anyway, I was doing laundry before I came here and I ran into him in the laundry room. He had this big dopey smile on when he saw me and I couldn’t resist. I figured I’d kiss him and see if there was any chemistry there.”

  “You hooked up with him in the laundry room?” Lexi asked.

  “No, we went back to his room.”

  “He mustn’t have been too bad of a kisser considering you’re hours late.”

  Casey fluffed her hair. “Well, we do have chemistry. I’m not ready for another boyfriend, but it would be convenient to have a boy toy who lived on our floor.”

  The phone rang, interrupting our laughter. I checked the call screen before setting my cell back down beside me. Lexi frowned in my direction. “You can’t avoid your mom forever.”

  “Probably not. But I could probably go at least another week until she decides to drop in.”

  “Why? What’s up with you and your mom?” Casey asked, leaning forward.

  “We’re fine, but she’s nervous about my relationship with Blake. A friend of my dad’s saw Blake and Hunter fighting at the bowling alley and told him about it. I explained it to my mom, but she’s concerned I’m dating another violent sociopath. I guess having Hunter as my only ex makes her skeptical about my ability to pick quality men.”

  “But she met Blake?” Casey asked. After I nodded, she asked, “And she wasn’t swept away by his dreaminess?”

  I grinned. “Hard to believe, but she hasn’t become a major Blake fan yet. My dad liked him, but my mom is the one he’ll have to work the hardest to convince. She’s worried I’ll completely sacrifice my identity for our relationship and forget my own goals.”

  “It will be fine once she gets to know him better. Any plans to meet his parents soon?” Lexi asked.

  “There’s only his mom and he has a younger sister. His mom sounds a little intense, so I’m not going to push a meeting unless he suggests it. From what he tells me, he really only goes home to spend time with his sister.” Blake was overprotective of his sister and their closeness made me anxious to meet her. He was guarded when he spoke about her and I got the impression he wasn’t quite ready for us to meet. I grinned at Casey. “What about you? Any plans to meet Will’s parents?”

  Leaping out of the chair, she picked up a throw pillow off of Lexi’s bed and launched it at me. The pillow knocked into my arm before falling to the ground. “No!” she sneered. “I’m not going to hook up with him again for at least another two weeks. Can’t be having him get too attached.”

  “Will is cute and a sweetheart. He’ll treat you like a princess if you give him a chance,” Lexi said, pausing as she twirled her hair into a messy bun.

  “I’m not taking dating advice from you, Lex, no offense. You’re the one who set up Autumn with Josh.” Lexi scowled at her, but Casey was undeterred. “At least she was smart enough and took my advice to go for the highly fuckable player.”

  “Football player,” I muttered with a mouthful of chips.

  “Josh is nice,” Lexi insisted. “And what was the harm? They’re still friends.”

  Josh and I were still friends, but I think the faile
d date put a strain on our friendship. I also knew he didn’t like Blake—Josh declined any time I tried to invite him anywhere with Blake—and I was uncertain if it was simply a personality clash or jealousy. I still met Josh for lunch from time to time, but he pointedly changed the subject if I brought up Blake.

  “These adjectives you use to describe men, Lexi, make me want to throw up in my mouth. Nice. Sweetheart. Cute. All I hear is boring, boring, boring.” Casey caught my gaze. “What about Darien? Is he single?”

  “Yes, but I’m afraid he’s nice.”

  We broke out into a fit of giggles and once we quieted down Lexi resumed the movie. I kept glancing at Lexi and Casey while we watched TV, sighing contentedly. Cook University had been the new start I needed. I had good friends and our connections ran deeper than the superficial friendships I had in high school. Lexi had stayed up with me for hours on nights when I suffered from a Mr. Bridges–induced nightmare. If it had been Faye, she would’ve told me to stop acting like a freak and would’ve forced a Xanax down my throat after she stole two for herself.

  I’d also found out things about myself I never knew. I’d been so entrenched in cheerleading and trying to be popular I never made room for anything else. I loved art and literature and my passion for the subjects grew at Cook. I researched more about entering the social work field and I was getting excited for my future. There was a women’s shelter near the beach house my parents rented and I put in an application to volunteer there during the summer.

  I blossomed because I was away from Newpine and had escaped the looming shadow of my past. Mr. Bridges’ release was a couple short months away, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of withering away. I had emerged from my brush with hell stronger and smarter. And I had reached the point where I was ready to let go. I had been his puppet despite miles and iron bars separating us—because I allowed him to control who I let into my life. I craved a physical connection with Blake and I’d have it. It was time to shove the ghost of Mr. Bridges into a box and forbid him from controlling me ever again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Blake leaned his forehead against mine and I saw his inhale. It felt good to see him drink me in, being able to witness the unsettling effect I had on him. His green eyes twinkled as he looked down at me. We were lying in my bed and had been kissing for a good twenty minutes. Blake’s art history textbook lay untouched on my desk—our attempt at studying together lasting a grand total of ten minutes. I had reached over to remove a piece of lint from his tan sweater and somehow landed in his lap. I had kissed him tentatively at first, but the intensity gradually increased.

  I felt ready to combust as Blake continued to kiss and touch me through my sweater. The room suddenly felt sweltering and I lifted my sweater over my head. Blake’s eyes danced over my exposed flesh and I was grateful I decided to go lingerie shopping. His thumb fingered the black lace on my bra.

  “You look very sexy, but what about Lexi?” he asked and motioned to the door.

  “She’ll text me before she comes back. I do the same for her when Finn is over.” I laughed. “It’s the modern sock on the door handle.”

  Blake smiled, but I could still see the want in his eyes. “What time will she be back?”

  “Not sure. Maybe not for another hour or so.”

  “Definitely not enough time to do everything I want to do to you,” Blake murmured. My heart pounded wildly at the suggestion and it became impossible to talk, no less breathe. He bent over and kissed the underside of my bra before making a trail down the center of my belly. His lips stopped moving. “Do you know you have this lone freckle next to your belly button?”

  “No, I wasn’t aware of that,” I managed.

  His thumb slid over my bare belly and I tingled all over. “It’s actually very adorable. I like it so much I think I’ll name it Blake’s Freckle.” He grinned at me and cupped his palm over his ear. “What’s that, Blake’s Freckle? You want me to do dirty things to you? Well…okay.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  His smile didn’t leave his face as he began to tease my belly with his mouth. His tongue moved in slow circles around my belly button and he finished the move by releasing a slow, hot breath close to my skin. It felt incredible and I whimpered when he pulled away.

  I arched my back and lifted my rear off of the bed. I undid the button on my jeans and began to shimmy out of them. Blake’s look was hungry, but I could see other emotions warring behind his eyes. He was afraid of losing me if things went too far.

  I pulled him down closer and felt every hard muscle as his body crushed against my breasts. I kissed him deeply while rubbing my arms up and down his back. I stripped his sweater off and tossed it across the room. My hands trembled as I found the button on his pants. Before he could notice my hesitation, I steadied my hands and unfastened the button. While Blake removed his pants, I had a moment to admire how strong and beautiful he was clad in only his white boxers. They were the boxer briefs style and clung to his body like a second skin. When he climbed back next to me, I felt his hardness rest against my leg.

  The tremors started building and my entire being was rocked over how much I wanted him inside of me. I was ready to explode with need for him.

  Blake groaned and began to kiss my neck in a frenzy. His hands snuck beneath the bra and he squeezed both my breasts in time with the kisses. His eagerness inspired me to reach for him and I stroked him through his boxer shorts. Blake stilled and his eyes drifted shut, his face filling with raw lust. It was all the encouragement I needed and I began to pump my hand up and down in rapid succession. He moaned and I felt him grow larger under my hands. It was arousing, using my hands to give him the pleasure we both were craving.

  He hooked his thumbs over the sides of my underwear and pulled them down. I waited for the alarm to set in, but it was nonexistent. The only emotion I had was heady desire as I saw Blake slip two of his fingers between my legs.

  I paused with my hand still wrapped around Blake’s hardness. I gasped as I felt him inside me, exploring between the folds. His movements were slow and he kept tossing glances at me as his fingers glided inside and out of me. There was no need to say I was all right since I was certain he could see the way he was making me die a slow, pleasurable death underneath him.

  I cried out in protest as he moved out of my reach and centered his mouth over my left breast. “You feel so good and I love how you touch me, but let me make you come. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

  I nodded because I could tell he needed the go-ahead. I unhooked my bra and his mouth closed over my left nipple. He sucked gently while thrusting his fingers inside of me. A scorching heat spread everywhere and I noticed how wet I was getting as more time passed. I panted beneath him and murmured how amazing he was making me feel.

  I threw my head back as Blake nipped at my breast lightly. My reaction inspired him to repeat the process on my right breast before taking my nipple in his mouth. The way his tongue trailed up and down my breast matched what his fingers were doing inside of me. “Please don’t stop,” I said in a small voice.

  “I won’t unless you tell me to.” His voice was a husky growl from below.

  Gazing down, I watched his lips move away from my breasts. I locked eyes with him as he stroked his tongue down the center of my pelvis and stopped with a kiss at my opening. The stimulation from his fingers didn’t stop as he sucked and kissed me in my most sensitive areas. My hips lifted and he increased the pressure of his mouth. My moans deepened and I felt like the room would start spinning any second. I expected him to let up, giving me a chance to reciprocate for him, but he never stopped the erotic invasion. Soon, I found myself on the cusp of an orgasm. Blake’s fingers traveled deeper inside of me and I completely lost it. The pleasure overtook me and I bucked wildly as warmth flowed from my core outward. Blake took a spot by my side and held me as I finished.

  I shivered as I rose up onto my elbows. My eyes lowered to Blake’s boxers and my f
ingers gingerly reached to remove him of the remainder of his clothing. “Blake, I’m ready.”

  His fingers had felt incredible inside of me and I could only imagine how good it would feel to be filled up with him. I understood the first time would likely hurt, but I was anticipating the times in the future when we would both finish with our bodies locked together.

  “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he said and took his time to run his eyes appreciatively over my body. He grabbed both of my hands and clasped them tightly. “And I imagine the second I’m inside of you, I’ll be done for.”

  “I want you, Blake, so freaking badly.”

  “I want you too, but I need to tell you some things first…”

  I snatched my hands away. “Tell me what? Please don’t say there’s someone else. Because I know we’re not official or anything, but I will kill you if you’re sleeping around.”

  He wrapped his arm around my back and drew me to his chest. “Of course not, Autumn. And of course we’re official. I thought you realized that after we talked about not seeing anyone else.”

  I relaxed. “So, are you my boyfriend?”

  “If you’ll have me.”

  “Absolutely,” I said. I started to question him further, but the sound of my phone interrupted me. After twisting out of his arms, I swore under my breath. I turned to face him. “It’s Lexi. She’s coming back from the library and will be here in ten minutes.”

  I retrieved my discarded clothing and then tossed his shirt and pants in his direction. Instead of dressing right away, he watched me slip on my clothing. I was nervous about what he wanted to talk about, but my body was still reeling.

  He stood up and rested his palms on top of my shoulders. “Darien is going home next weekend. Why don’t you come stay at my place? We’ll talk and…”

  “And finish what we started,” I interrupted. I tilted my head to the side. “I’m not bullshitting you, Blake. I’m completely ready to be with you.”