Memories of Heaven

by Melissa Storm

  Kate couldn’t resist gloating. “It’s still hot, Jack.”

  He grabbed a chunk of bread and took a generous bite. “Eh, who really needs taste buds, right?” he managed to say around the bread.

  Kate rolled her eyes before glancing toward Hope, who was sleeping quietly by their feet.

  Was he flirting with her, or just trying to be a good friend? Could it be possible that he found himself drawn to her as much as she’d always been drawn to him?

  No, she was being ridiculous. She blew a quick series of rapid breaths on her stew before taking another bite. This time it was perfect.

  Jack continued to tear at the bread and dip it into his bowl. He nodded toward Hope as he spoke. “So what’s the plan for tonight? I heard she was sick, but no one filled me in on the finer details.”

  Kate took a slow, deep breath. Her heart broke every time she thought about all the possible outcomes for the sweet little horse. “Some of the other guys have been taking turns with me for the past week by coming in to feed Hope throughout the night. But now the vet thinks she has neonatal sepsis. We started her on an antibiotic and we’re making sure she’s fed and hydrated. She seems to respond the best to me, so until she’s feeling better, I wouldn’t feel right leaving her with anyone else.”

  Jack patted Hope’s flank reassuringly. “Neonatal sepsis is a rough one,” he murmured with a frown before looking back toward Kate. “You sure do take a lot of responsibility onto your shoulders, don’t you?”

  “I do what’s needed. And Hope needs me.” She finally turned her head back to meet his gaze. “I could never walk away from someone I care about in their hour of need. It may not make much sense, but it’s just who I am.”

  That was part of the reason she was fighting so hard to keep her mother with her. As long as they were both on the ranch, they could be together. She didn’t want to trade that for anything—not even an easier arrangement on her part.

  She and Jack ate the rest of their meal in silence, listening to the sounds of the horses stomping and whinnying in their stalls.

  A short while later, Jack wiped his mouth with a napkin and reached for a third donut. “Well, just tell me what I can do to help, and I’ll do my best.”

  He held her eye an unnaturally long time, leaving Kate to wonder if his offer of help was just for Hope, just for tonight—or if he might want to help her through all the rest of it, too.

  Of course he did. He was her mom’s therapist. It was his job to help people through emotional turmoil, and Kate definitely found herself in turmoil now.

  She still couldn’t figure out whether his interest in her was purely from a professional standpoint or if he might want more. But as he’d already pointed out several times now, Kate had nothing left to give.

  Chapter 9

  Kate watched as Jack pulled the trembling foal down onto his lap. He held onto Hope as she started to struggle, desperately trying to stand up, wanting so much to be strong. Patiently, he whispered soothing words into her ear and leaned into her while stroking her neck.

  Kate hated seeing the fear that shone in those big brown eyes. If only there was a way to explain to the little horse that everything would be okay, that Kate would make sure of it. She couldn’t know for sure what would happen, but she would make that promise to Hope.

  The weakness that had a hold of her tiny body fought hard against the huge, determined spirit inside.

  Every creature wants to live, Kate thought. It’s instinct.

  She hadn’t quite figured out what that meant for her yet. When it came to people, did living merely mean surviving—or was it something deeper than that?

  She suppressed a yawn as Jack did all the heavy lifting for Hope’s care.

  He’d stayed to help with the other feedings throughout the night, and she was sure it must be close to three in the morning by now. The schedule was rigorous and brutal, but it’s what Hope needed, so it was what Kate would do.

  Jack, too, apparently.

  If they could just get her through the rest of tonight. Then tomorrow. Through this infection. Through anything else that popped up.

  Hope wasn’t just a name. Not to Kate. A heavy emotional weight rested on that little horse’s shoulders. She meant more to Kate than perhaps she should, especially given the chances she’d survive to adulthood.

  No, she couldn’t think about that now.

  Willing her mind to be blank, she rose to prepare the formula for Hope’s next feeding.

  A minute later, Jack accepted the bottle and held it up the way he’d seen her doing it, and thankfully Hope latched onto it right away to start suckling. Jack’s other hand continued to move up and down the foal’s neck in a rhythmic pattern as she ate.

  Just a few more hours and they’d all have a better idea of Hope’s odds.

  “She’s going to be a beautiful horse when she grows up,” Jack whispered, speaking to Kate but keeping his eyes fixed lovingly on the foal.

  Kate sat down cross-legged in the straw beside him. “I sure hope she gets that chance.”

  Jack continued to smile at the foal as he spoke. “Oh, I recognize something in her eyes. She’s going to get that chance. There’s a whole lot of fight left in her. Just you wait and see.”

  Hearing the confidence in his voice eased her own worry just enough to slow her wildly beating heart. If Jack thought Hope would make it, then Kate had could find a way to believe, too.

  They sat together without speaking as they listened to the sound of the filly’s loud sucking.

  Kate let out a little laugh at just how quickly and desperately Hope ate. She seemed to believe Jack’s prognosis, too.

  “She’s got to be feeling better,” Jack said, struggling to keep the bottle upright as Hope drank with everything she had. “When I watched her take that first bottle last night she was hardly drinking. Now it’s like she can’t get it down quick enough.”

  “Maybe she’s just trying to impress you.” Kate laughed as glanced toward her with a cocked eyebrow. “You’ve gotta admit, she does seem pretty smitten with you.”

  Their coffee and snacks had run out sometime during the night, but the conversation between them had never faltered as they’d begun to build a comfortable friendship with each other and bonded over the sick filly.

  Something about his demeanor relaxed her once she got over the awkwardness of her attraction. His strong, soothing presence was probably what made him such an effective therapist in the first place. That, and he was a good listener. Although he didn’t talk much at all about himself, Kate realized.

  She scooted closer to him in the hay and said, “You know all about my family, but I don’t know anything about yours. So spill it. You told me before you’re from around here. What else do I need to know? Do you still have family close by?” Or a girlfriend, she silently added, once more cursing the torch she carried for Doctor Jack.

  He slid out from under Hope as she finished the bottle and tossed it over to Kate. “Not much to say, really. I grew up in the Valley on a ranch right between Wasilla and Palmer, and well, I never left. Alaska, that is. My apartment and practice is in Anchorage, but I’ve still got a bunch of family all over the place, so we tend to get together often enough. I have an older sister who is married with two kids. And I have a younger brother, Martin—or Marty, as he insists we call him. He still lives with my folks, but he DJs events around town. He’s always loved music and could tell you the title, singer, or even writer of just about every song ever.”

  He smiled wide before explaining, “He was born with Down’s Syndrome and he’s just about the most inspiring person you could ever meet. He’s one of the reasons I became a therapist. I really just wanted to be able to help people the way he does.”

  “He sounds amazing,” she said, placing her hand on his arm, feeling especially close to him now that he’d begun to open up and had shared something so important with her.

  Hope grunted in seeming agreement, which sent them both into anot
her fit of shared laughter. They both knelt down next to her and began petting the shaky little horse.

  “He is,” Jack said thoughtfully. “Growing up I used to get into fights with people who tried to bully him. In high school I got into a brawl with this punk kid who’d been calling Marty all sorts of awful things. I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I did something about it. Of course, then I got suspended for two weeks because of how I decided to handle it.”

  He laughed to himself as he remembered his formative years. “Well, the very next day, Marty came into my room and told me I shouldn’t have been fighting because it wasn’t a nice thing to do. I told him sometimes you have to fight for the people you love and for the people who aren’t able to fight for themselves. I didn’t tell him that he was both and that I’d thrown that first punch to defend him, but what he told me next changed my entire life.”

  Kate sucked in a deep breath. “What was it?”

  Jack had a far-off smile on his face. “Marty just shook his head and said, ‘No, you don’t have to fight. Teach them to be nicer instead.’” His eyes dropped to their hands on Hope’s neck. “It was such a simple concept, but it changed me from that day on.”

  “He sounds like a wise person everyone could learn a lot from.”

  Jack lifted his eyes and smiled. “I’d like you to meet him sometime. I’ve been thinking about bringing him out to see the ranch. He loves animals, has since he was little. In fact, he still helps to take care of the horses and other livestock back home. I think he’d love Hope.”

  “Well, then you should bring him out. Sounds like he might do wonders for Hope’s spirit, too.” And maybe even mine, she thought.

  Jack’s smile faded. “So you’re not worried about having him around Hope? I mean, I know he’s very gentle and would never hurt an animal, but sometimes people don’t know what to think about him and that can make him seem dangerous.”

  “Absolutely not,” Kate said, shaking her head. “I think Marty sounds wonderful and I’d love to have him around the animals here. Especially Hope.”

  Jack let out a relieved sigh. Even now he seemed protective of his little brother. “Thank you for letting me tell you about Marty,” he said. “He’s such an important part of who I am that sometimes it feels dishonest that everyone doesn’t know.”

  Kate nodded. She felt the exact same way about her mom even before she’d fallen sick.

  As Hope finally settled down and started sleeping again, Kate brushed a bit of stray hair from her long face. “I know I was resistant at first, but I have to admit, it’s been nice having the company. And I appreciate all your help, too. Between this and everything you’ve been doing for Mom, I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

  He leaned back on a bale, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

  “Uh-oh,” she said in mock alarm. “What did I get myself into?”

  “Well, how about you let me take you on a date?” he suggested with a sly grin.

  She started coughing loudly, choking on her saliva as she struggled to take in a shaky breath. “You’re asking me on a date?” she managed to croak out.

  “I’m not sure that’s the reaction I was hoping for, but yes. I’ve had a great time here tonight, getting to know you, trading stories. So, I thought maybe next time we could go somewhere with, I don’t know, proper seating? Besides, I still really think you could use a break. Let me give it to you.”

  The wheels in Kate’s mind whirred as she searched frantically for a response. “But you’re my mom’s therapist. Isn’t that against the rules or something?”

  He shrugged. “It probably would be if you were my patient. But you aren’t, and you haven’t come to any of your mom’s sessions, so I’d say we’re smack dab in the middle of a gray area, but I think it’s very light gray, if that helps.”

  “I don’t know…” Why was she hesitating? She’d fantasized about just this thing ever since the day she’d first laid eyes on handsome Jack.

  “C’mon, it’ll be fun. You need some time away from the ranch. I promise I’m a perfect gentleman and I won’t make anything awkward or uncomfortable for you. Just a couple friends going out and having some fun.”

  Her head and her heart were in a brutal battle of wills as she sat and stared at him. All her life she’d let her head do the thinking and pushed away anything that wasn’t completely practical. But she realized right now she desperately wanted to listen to her heart.

  And the way his deep brown eyes bored into hers made her want to put her brain to bed. Despite all the many reasons why she should turn down his invitation, this time Kate would listen to her heart.

  Chapter 10

  Kate stood back and waited as the tiny foal stood on shaky legs, nudging one hoof forward hesitantly in her attempt to reach Kate who stood just a few yards away.

  “You can do it, Hope. C’mon girl. Just a few steps and you’ll be here.”

  It had been two days since Jack and Kate had stayed with her overnight, and every hour the horse had been gaining new strength. With her infection beaten, the next hurdle she had to overcome was learning to walk. She’d already managed a few slow steps with Kate’s help, and it was time for Hope to attempt the feat based solely on her own strength.

  Kate had guided her out of the stall to allow for more space to practice, and now they stood in the barn as a few of the other horses watched from their pens. Their large, sparkly eyes remained glued to Hope, and Kate knew they were rooting for the little one, too. Their gentleness and passion as they focused on the foal warmed Kate’s heart. Hope had so many people—and animals—on her team. She just had to make it.

  The foal’s wobbly legs click-clacked an uneven rhythm as she moved slowly toward Kate. Hope’s head swayed gently from side to side as she took in the big, new world outside her stall. The windows behind her illuminated her shadow, and the sunlight glimmered off the deep brown of her coat.

  The other horses brayed and snorted, offering their encouragement to the little filly. And while Hope was definitely much better than she had been a few days ago, she still had a long way to go. But slowly, she was getting there.

  As she got closer, Hope’s gait became steadier. Her legs didn’t wobble quite as much now as the muscles learned what they needed to do. Upon reaching Kate, her tail whipped up in excitement almost like she couldn’t believe it, either.

  Kate laughed and reached out to let the tiny body lean into her. Hope’s head pushed into her and rested on her shoulder as Kate wrapped her arms around her neck. “Oh, Hope. I knew you could do it. I wish Jack was here to see this. He’d be so happy.”

  Just then, Brenna walked around the corner of a stall from behind her.

  Kate stood up and proudly pointed at Hope. “Look at my girl. She’s almost ready to run the derby.”

  Brenna laughed and came over to put her hand out for Hope to sniff in greeting. They were all careful not to overwhelm the foal with too much too soon, but the horse herself was eager for more now that she had discovered so much more existed in the world outside her stall.

  “I know, look at her!” Brenna cooed as she petted Hope. “Jack couldn’t stop telling everyone about how she’s standing on her own now, and I knew I just had to see for myself. The way he talks about her you’d think Hope is his child. Yours, too, for that matter.”

  Kate’s cheeks burned. “Well, he’s been coming down to check on her a lot. And he really did help during the sepsis scare that had her in such rough shape.”

  Brenna put her hands up and smiled conspiratorially. “You don’t need to explain anything to me. I know Jack loves her. I mean, who wouldn’t? But surely you must also know there’s something more behind his frequent visits to the barn. Something that starts with a K and ends with ate.”

  Kate slowly started to walk back to Hope’s pen, letting her follow at her own pace. She chose to ignore Brenna rather than encourage her.

  But that wasn’t enough to get her friend to drop the subject. “In fact,” sh
e said, tilting her voice up at the end. “I do believe he mentioned that you two are going out this weekend.”

  She whipped her head around to look at Brenna. “He told you that? Is he going around telling everyone?”

  “Don’t get so defensive, Kate. I had to pry it out of him.” Brenna laughed as they reached Hope’s pen, then leaned her arms over the top rung of the corral. “I might have been hinting about Jack’s newfound interest in the horses and the barn in particular. He knows we are good friends, so I’m sure he figured I was going to find out anyway. I don’t think he’s going around telling everyone.”

  Kate mixed up some milk replacer in a pail and set it on the floor. She’d been acclimating Hope to drinking from the bucket now that she was steadier on her feet. So far she seemed to be doing well with the transition from the bottle, and Kate was intensely proud of her little girl.

  “Do you think I’m making a mistake?” she asked her friend, letting her eyes linger on the filly before turning back to Brenna.

  She scrunched up her face in confusion. “A mistake? What are you talking about?”

  “I mean, do you think I should cancel? It just seems like there’s so much that could go wrong by actually going out on a date with him. I should be with my mom, or with Hope. It’s not the best time for me to be dating, especially when the guy is my mother’s therapist and a coworker to boot.”

  They both watched as Hope came over to drink.

  Kate felt a fresh wave of panic read to overtake her. “It’s definitely a mistake, isn’t it? What was I thinking saying yes?”

  Brenna chortled. “No, I don’t think you’re making a mistake. The only mistake you’re making is the fact that you’re overthinking everything. Trust me on that, I used to do the same thing with Matt, and all that did is cause strife between us until I was ready to let it go. Tell me this: why don’t you deserve the chance to go out and have a good time?”