A Jar of Hearts

by Cartharn, Clarissa

  But he held them firmly against him. “Showing you that you’re wrong about me yet again.”

  “Why does it matter what I believe?”

  He leaned down into her ear, his cheek brushing against hers, his cologne infusing the air about her. She went rigid as he whispered, “It matters.”

  She released her clenched fingers, touching his skin cautiously as if it would burn her. Her eyes were closed, her hands trembling as she ran her palm over his muscular abdomen, feeling him. He looked down on her, his body growing hard from her touch. The tip of his nose caressed hers and his lips almost met her beautiful mouth. What was she doing to him?

  He had to break her spell on him or he’d be too indecent to face the two women waiting downstairs.

  He leapt off her. “You should get a bath,” he said in a gruff voice.

  “Argh!” she screamed. “You are the most uncouth bastard I’ve ever met in my life! And believe me, I’ve met a few.”

  “Either way, you should get that bath,” he said almost with a chuckle.

  “Get out of my room!” she yelled, throwing a pillow at him. “And don’t you ever speak to me again!”

  CHAPTER 10

  He bounced down the stairs cheerily. He hadn’t been filled with such life in a long time.

  “How is she?” Julia asked. She was in the kitchen alone with no sign of her daughter around.

  “She is fine. She’s taking a bath.” He smiled. “I’m sorry about the shocking entrance. She hurt her feet while walking on coral and I thought it would be best if I carried her back.”

  “Thank you. It was kind of you to do that.”

  “She didn’t make it easy,” he said with a small laugh.

  “I can imagine. She can be quite adamant about what she wants.” She shuffled uneasily at her feet. “I guess I owe you an apology as well. I thought you were quite the jerk when I met you at first.”

  “It’s okay. I think I deserved it.”

  She scrunched her lips as if in deep thought. “Perhaps, you can help her,” she muttered almost to herself.

  “I’m sorry?” He arched an eyebrow.

  “This is the first I have seen her so alive in two years, James. You saw how stubborn she can get. But no one has been able to achieve what you managed in just a few hours. Everyone else unfortunately relents to everything she wants to do. Even her own father. But you…” She shook her head. “That’s why you could help her.”

  He swallowed. He was the cause of all her pain. How could he forgive himself? “What do you want me to do?”

  “Be her friend. Date her if you can. I believe if you can make her feel worthy of her life, she will want to live again.”

  “But Julia…”

  She rubbed her brow. “I know. It’s crazy.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry I put you on the spot. I shouldn’t have asked you something like that. I don’t know what came over me. But seeing her so full of life gave me hope. It’s been hard watching her hurt each day that I was prepared of paying you just to take her out. I still am if you are willing. I handle her money from her father and I would be able to offer you something generous.”

  “Don’t you think that she wouldn’t appreciate you doing this?”

  “It’s a desperate situation. I doubt her father would mind it either. Considering the way she disappeared this morning and the rightful mess she turned up in, I can only assume she was bad when you found her.”

  He put his hands into his pockets and leaned against the kitchen bench. Remembering how he had found her in that corner of the beach huddled and dirty, made his heart ache all over again. It was the weakest he had ever seen of her.

  “What about her boyfriend? I saw a man with her last night while she was playing her violin. That was her boyfriend, right?” he asked slowly.

  “That was Nicholas Bradley.” She let out a long sigh. “Nicholas has long been in love with Anne, but Anne refuses to treat him more than just a friend. You see… Anne is still in love with her dead boyfriend and until she can heal and move past his death, I’m afraid she will begin to lose all interest in living again.”

  His jaw twitched. Only he could be blamed for her anguish.

  “I can understand why,” the housekeeper continued sadly. “That girl lives in a world of her own. We can’t see hers and she can’t see ours. I can’t blame her for feeling she is all alone in everything she is going through.”

  He had to fix this. He did this and he would have to do something about it. The pits of his stomach balled. He wished he was truly dead to not have to find her suffering like this. But he was alive and he could teach her to move on. A job such as his came with great risk. As far as he knew he could die anytime at the hands of Juan, a senseless drive-by or even Mark. What would happen to her then? He would never have this chance again to ensure she would be strong enough to press on living.

  Besides, there was no guarantee Mark would live up to his promise and let him go free once The Pacheco mission was done. As far as the FBI was concerned, Mark’s team did not exist. Only a handful of superior officers who had delegated Mark with the mission of ending the drug war in San Diego knew about him but he could never trust them either to live up to their side of the bargain. No, his past sins would always be his shackles around his ankles.

  “Fine,” he said with a pretentious tired puff. “How much are you willing to pay me?” After all, he had to have a credible reason to do this.

  “You will?” She clapped her hands in joy. “Really? Oh, thank you! Thank you so much.”

  He smiled and lowered his head. His heart was racing inside of him, and his palms were growing wet from his nervousness. He was going to spend more time with Anne… probably even have the chance to kiss her. To love her all over again. He didn’t know if this was going to be a wise decision. Actually, he didn’t care. Juan would probably kill him for it and so could Mark. But he couldn’t walk away from her- not now, not when he knew she was suffering because of him.

  “How much?” Julia asked through her tears.

  “A hundred… two hundred,” he replied with a shrug. He didn’t want the woman feeling burdened over this.

  “But that is… too minimal.” She lowered her eyes as she mentally calculated the costs.

  He smiled. “Trust me; it wouldn’t take long at all. I’m an expert. She will be ready for a brand new life after only a few dates with me.”

  “You sound so sure of yourself,” she uttered with disbelief.

  He laughed. “Let’s leave it at a hundred. Otherwise, you’re welcome to pay me an amount you are more comfortable with.”

  She let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, James”

  He ambled out into the back deck to find Ashley sitting on the floor, dangling her legs out the side.

  “Hey,” he said. “You’re by yourself.”

  She shrugged. “I usually am. Are you going home?”

  “Yeah.” He frowned. “Is something the matter?”

  “No… not really.”

  He glanced at the afternoon sun. He should be going home, but yet he was here lingering about Anne’s house.

  He sighed and sat down slowly beside her. She glanced across at him curiously.

  “I thought I could keep you company for a while. Is that okay?” he asked.

  “I suppose,” she said quietly.

  They turned towards the ocean, watching its waves gather and then break along the shore. Two young boys passed a ball to each other as they ran along the beach. Their German shepherd jumped gleefully with them, trying as much to be a part of their game. At one instance, they dropped the ball and the dog chased after it.

  The two boys shouted in horror, “Boxer, no! Don’t bite it!”

  It was a funny merry-go-round as the boys raced after the dog and the dog after the ball. James let out a little chuckle at the sight.

  “Do you have a dog?” Ashley asked, amusement from the scene lighting up her beautiful large brown eyes.

  “No.�
�

  “Oh,” she muttered and turned back to the boys again.

  He noticed she had returned to her silent self. “What about you? Do you have one?” he asked in an attempt to cajole her into a conversation.

  “No,” she replied in a low, disheartened voice. “Mom said I can’t have one. She won’t have one in the house because it might make a mess and Anne wouldn’t be able to see it when it does. We’d have to keep it outside but Mom can’t afford a kennel just yet.”

  “Hmm… that’s a problem then.” He curled his lips in deep thought. “What if I built you one, would your mom allow one then?”

  She widened her eyes with hope. “Really?”

  “Yeah. It shouldn’t take me more than a couple of days to put one up. What kind of dog do you want?”

  “I want a golden retriever,” she replied eagerly.

  “That’s a beautiful dog.” He nodded. “I know they love water and so it just might be perfect for a place like this.”

  “Would you really build a kennel for me?” she asked again guardedly, trying to reaffirm herself about his offer.

  “Only if your mother allows you that dog.” He smiled. “How about you go and ask her and let me know what she says?”

  “I’ll do that now!” She leapt out of her spot and bounded off into the house.

  James stood up and leaned against the railings, waiting for them. What would Julia think? He was already interfering into Anne’s life and now he was meddling with theirs? But he couldn’t leave the little girl whimpering after a dog when only a kennel stood in her way of getting her wish.

  “James,” Julia said as she stepped onto the verandah, followed by a suddenly zestful Ashley almost knocking into her. Julia licked her lips unsurely. “Ashley said you offered to build her a dog kennel.”

  “It’s true, Mom!” Ashley interrupted excitedly. “He did!”

  “Ashley, I’m talking,” her mother scolded. But it failed to curb the girl’s excitement as she bounced between them, looking up at James eagerly to attest her claim.

  He ruffled her hair fondly. “I did.”

  “But James… I can’t afford to pay you for the kennel,” Julia said hesitantly.

  “I am willing to do it for free so long as Ashley agrees to lend me her dog to play with now and then.” He grinned at the girl beaming brightly beside him.

  “Yes!” she let out with a squeal.

  “But the cost of the material…” Julia started again.

  “I have some lying about my house. I could use it to build Ashley a decent doghouse she might actually be proud of.”

  “James, I don’t know what to say.”Julia pressed her palms together and close to tearing up.

  “Does that mean that Ashley will get her dog?”

  “Yes,” she laughed aloud.

  “Yes!” Ashley cried, high-fiving James’ raised palm.

  He grinned. What a difference a day made. He had held the woman he loved in his arms, made two beautiful friends and surprisingly, he was feeling worthy of his life again.

  But the sun was setting in its oceanic horizon and would most likely engulf his happiness along with it in those dark waves. He let out a long breath of air. There was no certainty in the life he lived.

  CHAPTER 11

  He awoke early the next day, excited about his new project. This was the closest he had got to his life with Anne and he wasn’t going to let rationality ruin it.

  After a short trip to the hardware store, he was now back home, wheeling his wheelbarrow to his pile of timber and tools. He loaded them in and lugged them towards Anne’s house. According to Julia, Nicholas was returning to Boston and won’t be seen around the house in a long time. He felt relieved at the mere thought that he would no longer need to explain why he was a dead ringer for Anne’s dead boyfriend.

  He emptied the pile of wood onto Anne’s backyard and turned to climb up the stairs of the verandah to her house. But Ashley had already seen him and she jumped eagerly out the back door and towards him.

  “You came!” she squealed. “Is this what you’re going to build it with? Do you have a design? Can I see it?”

  He laughed. “A question at a time. But first let me say good morning to your mom. Is she up?”

  “Yes, I am,” Julia said as she came out with a steaming cup of coffee. “Wow, don’t you start early. Here, warm yourself up with this first.” She handed him the cup. “I’ll get you some cookies with that.”

  He took it appreciatively, loving its heat permeate his cold palm. It could get reasonably chilly along the beach despite a warm day.

  “I thought you said you had material lying about the house. These look new to me.” She frowned, studying the timber closely.

  “They were a bargain, Julia. I swear.” He sipped his coffee, his eyes wandering to the door in hopes of getting a glimpse of Anne.

  A cat purred, startling him as it rubbed itself against his ankles.

  “Boots?” He chuckled and picked it up. It gave a delicate meow and curled gladly into his arms. “Where had you been?”

  The cat nestled comfortably against him as he stroked it gently. His life with Anne… those memories began to flood him like a tidal wave.

  “You know Boots?” Ashley asked.

  He realized his error and winced inwardly. He gave a quick glance at Julia but she seemed unaware of the fumble he had just made. She was busily engrossed in the expenses he had indulged into only so he could get those high quality timbers. His ‘bargain’ excuse hadn’t fooled her at all and he wondered if she would catch on to the one he had made about knowing Boots’ name without anyone telling him about it.

  “I heard Anne calling for him the other day,” he lied.

  “Yeah, he is Anne’s cat,” Ashley explained. “But we all love Boots. He is like the sweetest cat ever. But he can’t catch a ball or go into the water. That’s why I want a dog.” She beamed at the thought.

  Boots meowed again, nuzzling up further into his neck. James smiled as he ran his fingers through its thick coat.

  “He really likes you,” Ashley remarked. “He never does that with me.”

  “Nor me,” Julia said smilingly. “Looks like you’ve won over more than just the women in this house.”

  James grinned. “Not all the women. There is Anne.”

  “There is Anne,” Julia repeated with a sigh.

  “Isn’t she… um… around?” he asked curiously.

  “She is. I’ll let her know you’re here. Although, I doubt she’ll come and say hi. I don’t know what you did to her, but she’s been spitting flames all of last night. I hope she has calmed down a little.” She giggled and then added, “It’s good to see her all fired up instead of brooding. Don’t you worry about it. She’ll come around to you soon.”

  He put Boots down and rubbed his brow. He could only hope she would.

  He pressed on through the mid-day heat, hammering on the roof of the doghouse. Finally, as the sun moved further on to meet the evening horizon, he stepped back to admire his work. The door to the verandah opened though, breaking away his attention and he noticed Anne had strolled outside with a glass of orange juice in her hand.

  “Are you still there?” she asked.

  “I am.” He ambled up to her, aching to see her more closely. He had waited all day, but not once had she come out to meet him. Had he riled her really badly yesterday?

  “You stopped working.”

  “I was just taking a break.”

  She nodded and handed him the glass of juice. “Julia and Ashley have stepped out to go to the stores for a little while and so I thought I’d make you a drink, since the weather’s pretty hot.”

  “Thank you,” he almost whispered. His fingers grazed hers and she withdrew them quickly from his touch.

  He sipped his drink, his eyes feasting on every inch of her beautiful face.

  “I wanted to buy Ashley her kennel but Julia wouldn’t let me,” she started slowly.

  Was she fee
ling guilty about not giving Ashley a doghouse?

  “Julia is a proud mother,” he said. He downed the last drops of the juice and put down the empty glass on the floor, carefully away from where she would probably bump into it. “I had thought of buying her one myself to save us all this hassle, but I doubt Julia would have appreciated it. She’d only consider it charity. And as long as she can provide for her daughter, she won’t accept anything so easily.”

  She smiled. “Yeah, that does sum up Julia.”

  She stepped further down the verandah and he held onto her. She pulled back, a frown replacing that smile.

  “The yard is in a mess,” he explained quickly. “I don’t want you tripping over any nails or sharp, jagged timbers.”

  “Right,” she muttered, growing quiet for a while. “Can I touch it? I just want to know how the kennel might look.”

  He paused. There was still a lot to do before he could iron out every sharp, protruding piece.

  “Anne, there are-” he began.

  “Help me,” she cut him short, giving out her hand.

  He moved towards her slowly, touching her fingers delicately. His large palms easily covered hers, spooning into his as if that’s how they always belonged. He led her to the house and guided her fingers over the roof. He moved behind her, spooning his body closely with hers. His other hand wound around her waist, his cheek caressing hers as he continued to guide her fingers over the structure of the house.

  The heat of her body, her scent, her contours had him lost in an instant. He leaned down to nuzzle her neck, his memories of them together, plunging him into the past, making him completely oblivious to his present.

  “Ouch,” she winced, snatching her hand away from him.

  He staggered back briefly, trying to collect himself and make sense of what had just happened. She was pressing onto her finger and he realized she had pricked it.

  “Let me see that,” he demanded, pulling her finger to examine it.

  “It shouldn’t be bad,” she said, trying to tug her finger back from him.