I Can Do Better All By Myself

by E. N. Joy

  “I can hardly wait.”

  “Neither can I,” Lorain replied, and then ended the call.

  For Lorain, it felt like it had taken forever for five o’clock to finally arrive, but it had finally gotten here. And at five o’clock on the nose, Eleanor’s doorbell rang. Both Eleanor and Lorain stopped everything they were doing and looked at each other.

  “Who’s going to get it?” Eleanor asked.

  “It’s your house. You get it,” Lorain suggested.

  “Yeah, but they know you better.”

  The doorbell rang again. Still, both Eleanor and Lorain just stood there staring at each other.

  “Well, go ahead, get it,” Eleanor ordered her daughter.

  “No, you,” a nervous Lorain insisted.

  This time there was a knock.

  “Oh, shoot, girl, move out of my way.” Eleanor brushed past Lorain. “Somebody better get it before they turn around and leave.”

  Lorain followed on Eleanor’s heels. Just as Eleanor was about to open the door, she turned to see Lorain breathing right over her shoulder. “Now, if you were going to do all that, why didn’t you just get the dern door in the first place?”

  “Oh, Ma, answer it already... would ya?”

  Eleanor turned and opened the door. Standing on the other side of the screen was a picture-perfect family. Dressed in a yellow dress with her seven-month pregnant belly protruding was Unique. And instead of the long weave she normally wore in her hair, today, she wore only her natural hair. It was short and tapered to her neck. Eleanor swore the girl was a younger version of Lorain. And it was obvious Unique had been brushing up on her makeup application skills, because she had just enough Mary Kay cosmetics on to make her look corporate. She had coordinated the colors to perfection to complement the sunshine-yellow dress she wore.

  Standing next to her were her three boys, lined up like stair steps, just like they were in age. They each wore matching jeans with brown loafers. They had on white shirts with lightweight yellow sweater vests over them.

  “You Ma ’Lenor?” the youngest asked.

  “Are you Great-Grandmama Eleanor?” the oldest son corrected.

  Speechless, all Eleanor could do was nod.

  “Then these are for you,” the middle boy said as they each held up a sunflower they’d made out of craft material and paper.

  Eleanor just stood there frozen, staring at them through the door. Then her hand flew to her mouth as she took off running to her bedroom. The door slammed behind her seconds later.

  “Guess she don’t like sunflowers,” the middle boy said.

  “Doesn’t like sunflowers,” the older boy corrected. “She doesn’t like sunflowers.” He lowered his hand sadly, his younger brothers following suit.

  “Here, guys, come on in.” Lorain opened up the screen door and allowed them to enter. “Grandmama Eleanor does too like sunflowers. As a matter of fact, she likes them very much. That’s why she just ran off like that. She’s overjoyed with happiness. But I’m going to go get her. You guys sit down and make yourselves comfortable.”

  Lorain looked up to see the worried expression on Unique’s face. It was exactly this type of thing that she’d wanted to avoid. This had been her initial fear. She hoped she hadn’t made a mistake in coming and bringing her children along with her.

  “I’ll be right back. Everything is going to be okay,” Lorain assured Unique as she walked quickly to Eleanor’s bedroom. “Ma, it’s me,” Lorain said, knocking on the door as she simultaneously pushed it open. She saw Eleanor sitting at the chair in front of her vanity bawling her eyes out. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

  “They’re so beautiful! They’re just so beautiful,” Eleanor cried. “And they’re mine. I don’t deserve them.” She looked at Lorain in her eyes. “I don’t deserve you. Nothing I have ever done in this entire world gives God a reason to give me such a wonderful and beautiful gift.” Eleanor cried harder.

  “Oh, Ma, don’t cry,” Lorain insisted. “I can’t think of another woman in the world more deserving than you. And what I don’t understand is how come you can’t see it. Up until our episode a couple of weeks ago, you and I have never had any issues. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect mother-daughter relationship. You’ve always been there for me.”

  Eleanor started shaking her head. “Uh-uh. No, I haven’t. If I had, then all of them wouldn’t be standing out there like that. I would have long had a relationship with them.” Eleanor started crying hard again.

  “Ma, as bad as some of the things that happened to me in my life were, I promise to God I’d go through it all over again if it meant being able to experience this very moment right now; being able to share this day with my mother, my daughter, my grandsons, and Unique’s unborn daughters.”

  “Daughters?” Eleanor looked up, sniffling.

  “Yes, Unique is having twins.”

  “Oh my Jesus,” Eleanor declared. “Two more grand-babies.” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed again.

  “Mom, come on. I need you. I need you now more than ever. I can’t do this alone. I know God is going to see this thing through, but I need you right there with me. Please, Ma. Will you be there for me? Will you be there for Unique, the boys, the babies?”

  Wiping away her tears and wiping her runny nose, Eleanor straightened up and replied, “Yes, I’ll be there for you ... for all of you.”

  Both Eleanor and Lorain embraced before returning to the living room for Eleanor to be properly introduced to her grandchildren. Being the loving, kindhearted boys that they were, they took to Eleanor like bees to a sunflower. And Eleanor and Unique ended up hitting it off better than expected as well.

  “I’m sorry for all those times I called you ghetto, hoodrat, and a project chick,” Eleanor told Unique. “I really don’t think those things about you. I was just jealous that you were taking up all of my little girl’s time.” Eleanor squeezed Lorain tightly. “Time that she used to just spend with me.” Eleanor smiled. “But I guess now I see why.”

  “Yeah, and I’m sorry for all those times I called you an old fresh-mouth battle-ax,” Unique apologized.

  “Oh, that’s okay. I probably was acting kind of ...” Eleanor’s words trailed off. “Hey, I don’t remember you calling me those names.”

  “Oh, but I did,” Unique assured her. “Oh, but I did.”

  All three women laughed. Then they sat down and enjoyed a delicious dinner, followed up by a scrumptious dessert and a wonderful talk. Finally, they were about to call it a night and Unique had gathered the boys to go home.

  “Dinner was great,” Unique said, rubbing her belly as she made her way out of the door with her little ones in tow. “Tell Grandmama Eleanor thank you,” she ordered her children.

  The boys had been ecstatic to learn that Lorain, who they had grown tremendously fond of, was their grandmother, and that they had another grandmother too. They immediately took a poll on how they address the women. Both Eleanor and Lorain loved the names they’d been given.

  “Thank you, Great-grandmama,” the boys said in unison.

  “You are welcome, boys,” Eleanor replied.

  “I’ll see you boys later,” Lorain called out. “I have to go with Mommy to the doctor’s next week. What do you all say that afterward we hit up McDonald’s?”

  “Yipee,” they screamed and hollered.

  “You have a good mommy,” the youngest son said to Unique, causing the adult women to laugh.

  “Yes, you do, but... but ...” the older boy started. Actually, he wasn’t starting anything at all. He was finishing up what Eleanor had started that day in the church sanctuary. But so much had taken place afterward that the subject was never spoken about again. However, now it looked as though this time it would have to be.

  The oldest boy walked right up to Lorain and said, “So if you’re our mommy’s mommy, then who is her daddy?”

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Mother Doreen felt bad about not being there
for Sister Paige’s court hearing yesterday. The pastor had asked everybody to pray for her. The pastor had also asked any members of Paige’s church family who could be there to support her to show up. She’d wanted to be there, but by the time she finished what she’d needed to do in Kentucky, it was too late to get back on the road. She stayed at her sister Bethany’s for the evening, and that’s where she was now.

  Her sister’s house had been her second stop after turning the car around. Pastor Frey’s house had been her first. By the time she pulled back around to Pastor Frey’s house, he and that woman were still chatting it up on the front lawn. With every ounce of power and authority God had ever given to Mother Doreen, she got out of her car and marched right up to Pastor Frey.

  “So, Wallace,” Mother Doreen said, calling Pastor Frey by his first name, “you and I need to talk, but first . . .” Mother Doreen turned to the woman. “I don’t know who you are, ma’am, but you seem like a nice enough lady. Nice enough to keep your hands off my man.” Mother Doreen shooed the woman with her hand. “Because this right here is the man God said is my husband.” She looked at Pastor Frey. “I am the woman God told him was his wife.” Mother Doreen turned back to the woman. “That means you’re pretty much committing adultery, because what God has said is already done in my eyes. You know what I mean?”

  The woman nodded, and the silly grin on her face made Mother Doreen feel like the woman wasn’t taking her seriously.

  “So what I’m going to need you to do right now is to say your final good-byes and keep it moving.” Mother Doreen cleared her throat. “In Jesus’ name, of course.”

  With that grin still plastered on her face, the woman looked at Pastor Frey. “I guess this must be Doreen.”

  “So you do know who I am,” Mother Doreen said to the woman. “Sorry, I don’t know who you are.”

  “I’m—” The woman started to introduce herself and extend her hand to shake Mother Doreen’s before Mother Doreen cut her off.

  “I’m sure you’ve got a pretty little name to go with that pretty little face of yours. Since I don’t plan on seeing you around anymore, no need in you even wasting either of our time introducing yourself.”

  The woman chuckled, right there in Mother Doreen’s face. This was starting to really get up under Mother Doreen’s skin.

  “I’ve tried to be as Christlike as possible, but I see that’s not working,” Mother Doreen said. “So listen up, toots. This here man, he’s mine. And I’m willing to fight for mine. I done already took my earrings off, and I have a tube of Vaseline in my glove box in the car. And last but not least, I ain’t afraid to catch a case ... in Jesus’ name, of course.”

  “Oh, Wall-Wall, she’s adorable,” the woman smiled at Pastor Frey. “I love her already.”

  “Wall-Wall?” Mother Doreen questioned. This woman had a pet name for Pastor Frey and everything. Had Mother Doreen waited that long to claim what God had for her?

  “Yes, uh, Mother Doreen,” Pastor Frey started to introduce. “This is—”

  “Oh, allow me.” The woman inched closer to Mother Doreen, still smiling that great big Kool-Aid smile. “Doreen, I’m Jessica, Wallace’s cousin.”

  All the life nearly flushed out of Mother Doreen’s face. “Cou ... cou ... cousin?”

  “Yes,” both Pastor Frey and Jessica said at the same time.

  “Jessica was just leaving. She lives in Oregon with her husband Monty,” Pastor Frey explained.

  “Yes, that’s right. I made a surprise visit to Wall-Wall here,” she paused and smiled. “That’s what the family calls him,” then she continued. “Anyway, I came to visit a couple weeks ago. I’d planned on just driving through. But he was so bummed out that I ended up staying longer to get his mind off things.” Jessica cleared her throat as if Mother Doreen was one of the things that had been on her cousin’s mind. “Anyway, I’ve been here long enough. It’s time for me to return to that husband of mine.” Jessica grabbed Mother Doreen’s hand and patted it. “I wish I could have gotten to know you better, but from the sound of things, I’m sure I will. Besides, sounds like we’ll get the chance to spend some time together when I come back for the wedding.” Jessica winked, then turned to Pastor Frey. “Good-bye, cousin... and nice meeting you, Doreen.”

  Mother Doreen had never felt so embarrassed in her entire life as she stood there and watched Pastor Frey’s cousin, the woman she’d practically challenged to a fight, in Jesus’ name, of course, drive away. Once Jessica’s car was out of sight, she turned to Pastor Frey. “I’m sorry I just made a fool out of myself in front of your people like that. Will you forgive me?”

  “Does this answer your question?” Pastor Frey asked as he walked over to Mother Doreen and planted a nice long kiss on her lips.

  Initially, Mother Doreen was deep into the kiss, but then she pushed Pastor Frey away. “Wait, there’s something I have to tell you.” An expression of dread covered her face, and then contemplation took over.

  “What is it, Doreen? You can tell me. You can tell me anything. A husband and wife are supposed to be able to share everything. I know I haven’t officially gotten down on one knee and—”

  “Hold up,” Mother Doreen said, cutting him off. “After what I tell you, I’m not even sure you’ll still want to have me as your wife.”

  “Sweetheart, there’s nothing you could possibly ever do or say that would make me doubt the woman I want to marry,” Pastor Frey told her. “That is, unless you told me you killed somebody or something.” He chuckled. Mother Doreen didn’t. “Oh God. Doreen, you didn’t really kill somebody, did you?”

  It was all like a scene out of a bootlegged Madea film, directed by the Wayans brothers. But Mother Doreen did what she had to do. She and Pastor Frey went inside, and she shared all the details about the incident that had landed her in prison for almost a year. And now here she was at her sister’s house, about to share the same story with her.

  “Did you get a good sleep last night?” Bethany asked her older sister as they sat at the kitchen table. It was almost noon. Mother Doreen had only been awake for the last hour. She’d gotten up, showered, and then dressed. Discovering that she and Bethany were the only two in the house, she decided to share with her what thus far she’d only shared with her pastor and Pastor Frey.

  “I slept very well, thank you.”

  “So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

  Mother Doreen paused for a moment. “Beth, you know you are my baby sister and I love you. I’ve always tried to do right by you. I’ve always tried to be the perfect example of what a perfect Christian should be like. But I’ve failed you.” Tears filled Mother Doreen’s eyes.

  “Reen, no. You’ve been the best sister I could have ever asked for. With both Mama and Daddy gone, and us losing two of our sisters to diabetes and high blood pressure, I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’ve always been there for me.”

  “No, I haven’t. Remember that one time I was out of touch with the family for over a year?” Mother Doreen reminded Bethany.

  “Oh, girl. We all knew you were just chasing ol’ Willie around. Nobody took that personal.”

  “I was in prison, Bethany. Locked up. In the slammer.”

  One could have heard a pin drop it was so dead silent.

  “Prison? But for what?” Bethany was stunned.

  “Murder. For the murder of a child.”

  Bethany gasped. It was as if a cloud of air were stuck in her throat. “That’s not possible. You’d never hurt a fly, let alone a child—a baby.” Bethany stood up in anger. “Is this some joke? Is this your way of making me feel better about all the mistakes I’ve made, because if it is—”

  “It’s not a joke, baby sis. I went to prison for the death of a baby.”

  Bethany dropped back into her seat, too weak to stand.

  “It was an accident. It was all one big awful accident,” Mother Doreen reasoned, and then went on to explain in detail. “You know how I
was always chasing Willie around.” She looked up. “God rest my Willie’s soul.” She drew an invisible cross across her heart with her index finger and then continued. “Well, one day I found him shacked up at this hotel with some woman. Willie had gotten the room under his name, so after proving that I was his wife, I managed to finagle a key to the room from the clerk at the desk. Lo and behold, I walk into the room and found him rustling around in the bed with some woman. Well, back then, I wasn’t the fine Christian woman that I am today. I didn’t ask no questions; I just jumped on that bed and got to beating that girl like she’d stole something.”

  Mother Doreen stared off with a faraway look in her eyes. “She had stolen something, in my eyes anyway. She’d stolen my man. Anyway, the girl just kept saying, ‘My baby. My baby.’ Heck, I thought she was calling Willie her baby, trying to be affectionate, and right in front of me. Something inside of me just snapped, and I just kept pounding on her. Not even Willie, try as he might, could pull me off of her. After I got a couple more good whacks in, Willie had practically dragged me off the bed. With the sheets gripped in my fist, when Willie pulled me off the bed, the sheets came with me. And that’s when I saw it.”

  Standing to her feet, Mother Doreen walked over to the sink. She gripped it, trying to maintain her strength so that she could continue. “I saw that that girl was pregnant ... and she was lying in a puddle of blood between her legs still crying out, ‘My baby. My baby.’ I was frozen in shock. Willie called the ambulance, and they came and got the poor girl. She lost her baby. Come to find it was Willie’s baby too. It didn’t take long for the police to come looking for me. They didn’t have to look too far, because I turned myself in.

  “From the day I turned myself in, I served eleven months and twenty-three days in prison and was on probation for five years after that. I later learned from Willie that the baby had been a little boy. It would be the only baby my Willie would ever have, because while I was in jail some women did some pretty bad things to me after they learned I was locked up for harming a child. Inmates really frown upon that kind of thing. After what those women did to me, I was in the infirmary almost a month. The result—I would never be able to have babies of my own.