Squire of War

by M. H. Johnson

  All too happy to stumble into her quarters without further incident, Jess stretched and limbered her muscles, swinging practice saber and longsword in smooth even strokes, strikes flowing into guards and counters as gracefully as she could, a gentle warm up after the most savage of beatings, making sure no strain or stiffness still hindered her form.

  When she finished with both weapons she gave a satisfied nod. Injury and exhaustion had left her slightly off her game, but a few solid meals and she would be at peek once more.

  She smirked at her door, knowing she couldn’t endure any more derision this day. The dining hall might as well be in Velheim. She could only hope that food and drink would arrive much as it had last night, a welcome balm after yet another long day.

  But it never did.

  “Jessie, open up, it’s us. Fantastic news!”

  Jess blinked open tired eyes, realizing she must have fallen asleep. Her throat was bone dry. She grimaced, knowing she had to stockpile some water flasks no matter how much she feared the humiliation of being mocked by hundreds of students at once.

  “Jessie, open up!”

  Recognizing Josie’s voice, Jess smiled and did just that.

  She froze, her heart lurching in her chest.

  Malek. Gazing at her with his warm brown eyes, a teasing smile upon his lips, and Jess flew into his arms, holding him so tightly, so fiercely, her tears leaking down his doublet.

  “Malek! By all the gods, by all the gods! I thought you lost to us! Oh Malek, it would have killed me, had you perished in that mad gambit we took. Don’t ever do that to me again, shieldbrother, do you hear?”

  His own eyes filling with silent tears, Malek softly brushed her cheek. “You are crying, shieldsister.” His words seemed filled with a strange kind of wonder. “What a silly thing to do.”

  Jess laughed the words away, kissing him fiercely, so grateful to see him alive.

  Malek laughed, holding her tight, spinning her once before gently putting her down. “Come, shieldsister, we have a meeting to attend, do we not? I will explain everything when we get there.” Gently taking her hand in his own, he led the way at a rapid pace, a smiling Josie and Raphael but feet behind.

  32

  You must be dying of thirst,” Josie soothed, handing Jess a tall glass of chilled milk. Jess drank deep, grateful beyond words for the cool relief it brought her.

  “Thank you, Josie,” Jess replied, gazing approvingly at her friend's sky-blue dress, her rosebud lips dyed crimson, kohl perfectly lining her eyes, gorgeous honey blond hair curled up in an exquisite cascade falling down her left shoulder, and Jess just knew she had done it all for the man gazing so warmly, so hungrily at her even now.

  “You are a lucky man, Raphael,” Jess grinned, receiving a wink from her friend in return, today wearing doublet and hose of darkest silk, only a few shades from royal purple, but acceptable enough for the son of a duke.

  “He is very lucky,” Josie agreed, gazing warmly into Raphael’s eyes, dipping her head down, kissing him softly, smiling at his adoring expression, gently wrapping his arms around her as she sunk into his lap and sighed, happy as could be in the protective embrace of the man who loved her.

  Jess chuckled throatily at Josie's absolute conquest of Raphael, gazing at her like a priceless diamond he alone got to hold and cherish. Jess turned to meet her shieldbrother’s gaze, heart lightening up beyond all words, gazing at the man she loved so fiercely. A man she would happily fight or adventure beside all her days. And Jess was determined only to feel happiness for the still sobbing Jacob who was holding Malek so tightly, as if afraid he would lose him still.

  “Don’t ever do that to me again, my love, just don’t,” Jacob whispered, even as Malek held and rocked his gentle lover close, whispering soothing words of comfort. “It would kill me. I swear it would. You don’t know how much I need you. How much I love you. You great big fool, you have no idea.”

  Malek winked over his sobbing lover’s back, Jess chuckling softly as he did.

  “Oh, I think I do, my precious Jacob, I think I do.”

  “I can’t wait to hear your story, my friend,” enthused an animated Raphael, still holding Josie close, all of them basking in the joys of love and sweetest friendship as they waited for their remaining two companions to arrive.

  A tentative knock. Jess lifted herself off the comfortable leather chair she had long ago claimed as her own, her hands gently touching the door to that hidden little library, and with a satisfied nod the door clicked open, letting in the two final members of their coterie.

  The Circle of Midnight, together once more.

  Trembling, an oddly solemn Alex led Jera to the space between their seats and divans in the heart of the chamber, slowly falling to his knees, Jera following suit, bowing to a bemused Malek and finally to a horrified Jess, still wearing her penitent’s robe.

  “Malek. Thank all the gods that somehow, by some miracle, you came back to us. I cannot tell you how much my heart tormented me, thinking that my gods awful folly had costed you your life, along with Ilia. And poor Abella.” Tear-filled eyes locked upon Jess’s own. “You bearded the lion in his den, charging living madness to save your fool of a friend. Carrying my beloved in your own arms as we raced back for shelter, calling on magics I can’t begin to fathom, holding our souls to the woods when that hideous storm would have sent us all to Hell.”

  Tears dripped freely down his cheeks. “I will never be able to repay you, Jessica de Calenbry. But I will always, always, fight by your side.” He swallowed, forcing himself to speak. “I… I will join your ranks. I will train. I will try to be worthy of your cause.”

  He turned away from a speechless Jess, bowing low before Malek. “By all the gods! The way you ripped through their protective wards they were so damned certain no mortal could pass. The awful magics you embraced, taking them down. I cannot tell you how terrified I was for your soul, and how grateful I am to your spirit, for daring to save me and my beloved and all our friends from such horrific, horrific folly.”

  Sobbing, he banged his head to the ground. “I am your man, Malek. Whenever you have need of me, you or Jess, I am here for you. I am here for you both.”

  Jess blinked in shock, yet it was Malek who gently raised his friend, maverick smile firmly in place. “Don’t be an idiot, Alex. I did what any good friend would do.”

  Jera’s laughter was filled with tears. “hardly, Malek. Hardly. All the more reason why Alex and I love you and Jess both so fiercely. You two are the best friends any soul could have.”

  “And it’s not your fault,” Jess whispered, “so don’t ever say that again. You weren’t planning on getting yourselves stabbed in the back! All you wanted to do was hunt down an arcane lead and have a bit of an adventure with your friends and beau. Same as any clever mage making a name for himself. Alex, don’t you remember? Not even Jera believed your harebrained idea. She just wanted to spend some time with you. And if it turned out that you really had found the secret to eternal summer, well, you promised that you would do nothing to interfere with it, even if by some mad chance you had actually guessed right.”

  Alex grimaced, shaking his head. “And still I feel the weight of it, all of it. And we never did get a chance to find that linchpin.” He laughed bitterly. “For all I know, you guys are right. Jera and I were out for a lark, to sleep hand in hand beneath the stars, enjoying the unseasonably fine weather, and it was all our enemies needed to lure us into a trap, and next thing you know...” Alex shuddered. “We were a heartbeat away from getting sacrificed to some awful god I heard those diabolists chanting about.”

  Jera’s arms wrapped fiercely tight around Jess’s frame. “Angels' mercy, Jess, seeing the look in your eyes, charging into those horrific bastards, I had never been so fiercely happy to see anyone in all my life!” She broke down into sobs. “I was dying inside, when they cut into Abella. Her screams...they haunt me when I try to sleep at night. I swear, I don’t think I could ever bear to
sleep alone again for the rest of my life.”

  Malek’s soft chuckle. Alex, flushing even as he smiled so tenderly at his beau.

  Jera flushed and smiled, but it didn’t hide the terrible pain in her bright green eyes. “And you, Malek. Charging into their horrific magics like that… I know you are good with wards, Malek, almost as good as Alex himself. But honestly, when they cast their vile spells, the way they gloated, gazing at you all so mockingly, I didn’t think elementalist magics had a chance to pierce their vile spells.”

  “It can’t.” Alex gazed solemnly at Malek, the room gone quiet. “There is no way, absolutely no way that Malek should have been able to pierce that veil. That you did, Malek… again, I will never be able to repay the debt I owe you for that.”

  Malek flushed, unable to meet his friend’s gaze. “Honestly, Alex, the last thing I remember is Jess gazing at me like a queen of old, commanding me to save you all. And I just felt this terrible, fierce drive to see this through. To see you all safe, no matter the cost.”

  Jess cringed to see Malek looking so wide-eyed and vulnerable. She gently clasped a trembling hand. “Be at ease, Shieldbrother,” she whispered.

  Malek shook his head. “And the next thing I remember, I am waking up, shivering, covered in morning dew, just outside Highrock itself.”

  Alex gazed intently at his friend. “What happened then?”

  Malek sighed. “I was thirsty as the dickens, so after stopping by the kitchens, and all was in a panic down there, I can tell you, I grabbed a flagon of wine and a meat pie and stumbled my way to Eloquin’s quarters. I guess I knew that there would be no training today, as the revels last a week, so I didn’t bother with the grounds outside.” He chuckled softly. “Of course, I had no sense of how long I had been gone, so I could have been completely wrong, but there Eloquin was, gazing at me so strangely, demanding a full report."

  Malek sighed, drinking deep of the flask his lover handed him. "Really, there wasn’t much to tell. As we had approached the forest’s edge, I felt the same keen desperation as I saw on your face, Jess, and when you followed your heart, so did I. We charged into our foes in unison, both of us equally fools not giving Neal those handful of seconds he needed to form up behind us, but we both knew Eloquin would then have had the pause he needed to shout our desperation down, to force us to watch like the most ruthless of tacticians as our friends were cut down, prudently retreating as that awful storm came roaring across the plane.

  "If we were going to save you two, we had no choice but to seize the Vor and charge in that instant. And thank all the gods that none of our brothers or sisters in arms perished in that engagement. We broke through their lines, and the look you gave me, Jess, hand on my forehead as if a final benediction. Then I roared and charged their vile spells, feeling such burning hate for those laughing, mocking bastards, and the rest is blackness.”

  Malek shook his head. “Though I swear I hear their screams. Those wizards. Much as I hate them, much as I shouldn’t care in the least, their screams haunt me still.”

  Jera trembled, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. “Thank all the gods you didn’t abandon us, beloved Malek. Thank all the gods!” Her delicate hands clenched into fists. “When I think of that bastard just standing there, willing to let us die, and when you risked your soul to lead the charge to our rescue, Jess, and your only reward is being whipped half to death, forced to wear that penitent’s robe, laughed at and jeered and spat upon by our peers… it’s unbearable!”

  Jess swallowed, gazing into her shieldbrother’s eyes, seeing how furious he looked, trembling fists more than capable of shattering bone clenched tight.

  “I know you were forced to wear that robe, Jess. Our master castigated us both for fools. He said he had been a hairsbreadth from forcing Neal and I both to don similar garments.” Malek flashed Jess the bleakest of smiles. “I told him that however foolish our decision might have been, shaming the girl who warded his chosen from pike and arrow when her only crime was trying to save the lives of our friends because his pride had been pricked made him no better than Hyve.”

  Malek chuckled ruefully. “And boy did he beat me then. I know I’m tough, but that man’s inhuman. And I know he was pulling his blows.”

  Raphael paled. “Malek, my dear friend. Your courage knows no bounds. But perhaps there might have been a more diplomatic route...”

  Malek grinned. “Oh, I know it was stupid, but the words needed to be said. After I picked myself up off the ground, he told me to report to the healers and to consider myself demoted. I told him I loved him as fiercely as the father I wish I had had. And what a strange look he had on his face then, before I made it clear that the moment you left school because of that damned robe, Jess, I was leaving by your side.”

  Jess gave her closest friend a wordless hug. Thinking him a bloody fool, but grateful beyond words to know he was there, to have him safely by her side once more. “Don’t ruin your dreams on my account, Malek,” she softly said.

  Malek grinned. “I’d like to think I won that round. He had nothing to say as I stumbled off to Master Jevons, who said in so many words that I was as strong and stupid as an ox, and fit to return to normal Squire duties, whatever they might be. But who gives a damn about that? What I want to know is who dared to demean you, shieldsister, and what asinine fool dared to tear your flesh with a whip? Bloodprice be damned, I will see him dead.” Malek's playful gaze had turned as hard and cold as Eloquin's, the moment before battle was joined.

  The room grew deathly quiet. Jess swallowed. “There is no need, shieldbrother. As much as it torments me, Eloquin is right. I did break ranks, I did divide our forces with my mad charge, I did risk everyone’s life, and I never would have forgiven myself if even one of or brothers or sisters had perished.”

  Blinking back tears, Jess smiled with all her heart at her solemn-faced friends. “But if it meant saving Jera, Alex, half a score innocent students from being slaughtered before my very eyes? You can bet your arse I would do it all over again. So we see that I’m a piss-poor commander, and perhaps it’s fitting that I am no longer a Squire of War.” Jess shrugged. “However skilled I am at dancing upon the battlefield, I could never be as ruthless as Eloquin wants us to be.”

  Malek furrowed his brow. “Still, Jess, I would know who dared to demean you with words, spittle, or whip.”

  “For all that I was near swooning, I remember Eloquin dealing with the man who saw fit to strike me. I think he’s learned his lesson.”

  Jess shuddered at the memory of raw shrieks, the crackle of bones being crushed, realizing she had seen neither hair nor hide of the head proctor, Jess more than happy to never think of that man, or that night, ever again.

  Jess patted Malek’s shoulder. “As far as bitter boys who failed their trials thinking I’m a wounded dove, despised by all, and so an easy target? I have made it clear I’m not so weak as all that.”

  Josie gave a solemn nod. “I heard about you getting shoved and spat upon that first day, and could only imagine you near death, and how I scolded my master for letting you out of his care. Then I discovered that you had snuck off on your own. But when I found out that Jevons had called for your mother, I think I understood why. He wants to take care of you and make sure you’re safe. You want to fight on, and prove yourself at all cost.”

  Jess nodded, finishing the last of her milk, grinning when Josie flounced from her beau’s lap to fill it on her behalf. Perhaps she wasn’t quite at full strength, so was happy to accept her friend’s largess, even if Raphael’s sigh made it clear that his lap was feeling lonely for company.

  She winked at her friend, who grinned back.

  “Here is some more chilled milk for you, Jess, but you need to start eating properly again, if you want to be at full strength.”

  Jess lowered her head. “I would, Josie, but, well, I just can’t bear the thought of a hundred of our fellow students, so many I had hoped were at least warmly tolerant of me if not actu
ally my friends, mocking and belittling me, gazing at me with open contempt.” Jess paled and shuddered. “I think I see why that poor apprentice mage left within days of being forced to wear this robe.”

  “Her folly did cost a student his life, Jess,” Alex softly reminded.

  Jess shook her head. “And won’t it haunt her for the rest of her life? His death, her inability to ever make amends, hundreds of people gazing at her with contempt and hate. Honestly, Alex, I doubt she’ll ever cast a single spell again, and I can only hope she doesn’t kill herself over the shame of it all.”

  Alex looked away. “And Arbela and Ilia’s deaths are on my head, and not a single person derides me.”

  “It’s not your fault!” Jera cried. “We all came close to death. None of us planned that, none of us would have dared that plain with the skies heavy with unnatural storms! We were kidnapped, Alex. Kidnapped and played for fools. And yes, fools we all were. But innocent, Alex, none of us intended for a single one of our friends to suffer, let alone perish.”

  She turned to her friends. “At least one remarkable thing occurred during our expedition that wasn't a complete horror. I had just finished planting that seedling Jess had given to me, and was more amazed than I had ever been before in my life when it began to grow before our very eyes!”

  Alex nodded. “It did. I even took notes, though those notes and everything else about our expedition has been lost, of course. Still, it was fascinating to watch a Druid’s working.”

  Jess flushed, not knowing what to say to that.

  Alex gazed down at trembling hands. “Then we ate, and I don’t know, I was just overcome with exhaustion, I had guessed from hiking for half the day, and we all nodded off. Then I’m struggling to wake myself when something thumps against my skull, and the next thing I know, I’m hog tide, and we are all being led through the woods in a journey that seemed to take forever, until we reached that awful site.”