I Hate You More

by Moody, Alexandra

  “She’s also a complete loser, and you’re way out of her league,” the other boy shot back. “Why would you settle for sweet and pretty when you could have Jenna Fox? I hear she’s been asking about you tonight.”

  “She has?” The shock in Declan’s voice made my stomach drop to my toes. Jenna was the most popular girl in school. I’d never have a chance at dating Declan if she was into him.

  “She has,” the other boy confirmed. “And you’d be crazy not to follow up on that. Ally Lockwood spends her whole life with her eyes glued to her latest book. She’s more invested in imaginary worlds than the real one. Wouldn’t you prefer a girl who’s after a real boyfriend rather than some make-believe one?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Tears burned the corners of my eyes, and my chest grew tight as I struggled to draw in a breath. I didn’t know why anyone would be so cruel, and it took everything in me not to start sobbing.

  I was so caught up in the hurt I was feeling that I didn’t hear the boys moving. My gaze darted up as they turned the corner and froze when they saw me. Guilt flared in Declan’s eyes, but the boy next to him made my heart race with anger and pain.

  “Ally,” Chase said, his eyes growing wide with shock as he realized what I’d just overheard.

  I felt like I’d been doused in cold water, and a chill ran down my back as I stared at him. I couldn’t understand how he could say such hurtful things. What had I done to make him hate me so much?

  I didn’t wait for an explanation, and as soon as the moment of terrible surprise wore off, I turned and ran in the opposite direction. I fled down the corridor, my feet slapping loudly against the floor. The thrumming of music had dulled to a soft drone in the background, but the strong beat of my heart pounded like a drum in my ears.

  I didn’t return to the dance. Instead, I barreled out the front doors of the gym and burst into the parking lot. The cool night air caressed me as I came to a stop. I cradled my arms around my body and looked up into the night’s sky, tears staining my cheeks as I tried and failed to control my sobbing.

  It hurt that Declan had been so quick to dismiss me, but it was Chase’s cruel and spiteful judgment of me that caused the tears to run down my cheeks. Was I really so unworthy of someone popular like Declan? Was I as pathetic as Chase seemed to believe?

  It wasn’t just his words that hurt though. It was the fact he’d gone out of his way to destroy any chance I had with Declan. Declan had wanted to ask me out, but that would never happen now because Chase had decided to step in.

  The gym doors flew open, and I quickly turned, coming face to face with Chase. He was the last person I wanted to see right now, and I had no idea why he’d bothered to follow me.

  “What is wrong with you?” I seethed as he stepped toward me. He didn’t stop until he was standing only inches away. His eyes were swirling with emotion, but I couldn’t tell if it was anger I sensed in them or remorse.

  “Why would you do that?” I continued. “Why would you say those horrible things? Why would you ruin my chances with Declan?”

  Chase barely moved as he stared me down, and it felt like I was hurling my questions at something as hard and heartless as a statue. He didn’t so much as flinch as I threw them at him.

  “He’s not the right guy for someone like you,” he said bluntly. “You’re both too different, and it wouldn’t have lasted anyway.”

  I shook my head, unable to understand why Chase thought that was an acceptable explanation for what he had done. And what did he mean by someone like me? Someone who wasn’t as popular as Jenna Fox?

  “Well, now, I won’t even get a chance to find out. You just took that from me!”

  Chase shrugged. “If he actually liked you, anything I said to him wouldn’t have mattered.”

  His simple statement made my heart clench in pain, because I knew he was right. But that didn’t let Chase off the hook. If anything, his words only made me feel worse and riled up the anger within me. “That doesn’t explain why you went out of your way to sabotage my night. Why would you do something so cruel?”

  Chase’s gaze grew hard as he returned my stare. His body was so rigid that I doubted he was breathing. “Why do you think?”

  I let out a sad laugh and shook my head as tears welled in my eyes once again. “There’s only one reason you would do something so hurtful. You hate me.”

  Chase stayed frozen to the spot and continued staring at me. He didn’t rebut my accusation, and I realized it had to be because it was true. I wasn’t sure what I had done to make him dislike me so much, but whatever it was, the damage was clearly already done.

  I hurried to continue before Chase could explain the reasons why he couldn’t stand me. I didn’t need to be insulted any more tonight, and I’d already heard enough of what Chase thought about me to last a lifetime. “You may hate me,” I said, my voice quiet and detached as I stared at him with loathing. “But I can guarantee you this: I hate you more.”

  I turned and walked away from him without a backward glance. Chase Williams had always been a thorn in my side, but he’d just made himself my enemy. I despised him with everything I had, and there was no way I would ever forgive him for what he’d just done.

  1

  Ally

  Three years later

  I gave a nervous glance around the group as I placed my book down on my lap. It wasn’t much of a book club. There was only my grandma and two of her friends, but they were some of my favorite people. I never knew how they would react to the books I picked though, and these ladies weren’t afraid to give me their honest opinion.

  Grandma clapped and gave me an encouraging smile. Her blue eyes always crinkled at the corners when she looked happy. My mom’s had looked exactly the same when she smiled, and my heart skipped a small beat at the similarity between them.

  “That book sounds like quite an adventure,” Grandma said, and I finally let out a breath of relief. They liked it. “Though I do wonder why you’re sitting here on your last day of summer vacation when you should be out having your own adventure.”

  Cora and Connie nodded in agreement. “You should be out with your friends, not hanging out in a place that smells like old people,” Connie added, wrinkling up her nose.

  “We are old people,” Cora said with a roll of her eyes.

  “I may have wrinkles, but I do not smell of mothballs and regrets,” Connie replied. “Unlike some of the residents in here.”

  Cora scoffed. “You can’t smell regrets.”

  “I can, and they stink.” Connie folded her arms over her chest as though her words were final and couldn’t be argued with.

  Like always, our book club had descended into a conversation about anything but books. It wasn’t really surprising because no one ever bothered to read them. Our book club had only started because Grandma and I would talk about what I was reading whenever I came to visit. Her friends began to join in, and before too long, they were calling it a club. Connie and Cora were far more concerned with gossiping than reading though. Not that I minded as they always had interesting stories of their own.

  “Connie’s right, you should be out with your friends,” Grandma said.

  “But you are my friends.” It was true. I loved hanging out with Clara, Connie and Cora. I’d affectionately named the trio The Three C’s.

  “I’m talking about your school friends, Ally. What’s that firecracker, Tessa, doing today?”

  “Her mom forces her to have a ‘family fun day’ on the last day of vacation.” The words were barely out of my mouth when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I wasn’t surprised to see it was a text from Tessa.

  Kill me now!!!

  I smiled at the message, and another one arrived before I got a chance to respond.

  No seriously! If that woman makes me spend another minute with the demon child they keep trying to convince me I’m related to, I’m filing for emancipation!

  I chuckled under my breath and typed my response.
Your brother’s not that bad. It’s just one day. You’ll be fine.

  Traitor. Tessa fired right back.

  “You’ll never guess who’s looking this way,” Cora said, making me glance up from my phone. All three of the C’s had their eyes fixed on someone behind me. I swiveled in my seat to see who they were talking about, and Bart, one of the more recent additions to the nursing home, was stealing glances in our direction. Connie’s direction, to be precise.

  “He’s checking you out again,” Cora whispered. I turned back to the group as Cora gave Connie an encouraging nudge.

  “In his dreams,” Connie said. She lightly touched her perfectly coiffed, bright pink hair though, and I got the feeling she wasn’t quite as opposed to Bart’s attention as she made it seem.

  “You should go talk to him,” I said. “He looks nice…”

  “He’s okay, I suppose.” Connie tilted her head as she studied Bart. There was a slight smile on her lips, and it was clear she thought he was more than just okay.

  “Enough matchmaking,” Grandma said. “Ally, you need to go enjoy your last day of freedom before your senior year starts.” We were back on the subject of my social life again, and I could tell none of them were going to let it drop.

  They really didn’t need to be concerned as I already had the rest of my day planned out. I needed to make sure everything was in order before the first day of school. I’d set aside an hour to sort out my schoolbooks and supplies, another hour to make sure my schedule was organized, and twenty minutes for picking out my outfits for the week. Since it was the last day of vacation, I’d even penciled in some time for reading the latest book in a series that had just been released.

  I glanced at my watch and let out a sigh. It was almost time for me to leave anyway. “Fine, fine. You guys win. But I’ll be back to visit in two weeks, and then the next book club will be in a month, so you all better have something to contribute. This book club has been feeling awfully one-sided lately.”

  I stood up and tucked my book into my bag. “And, Connie, I’ll be expecting juicy Bart gossip. So you better go talk to him.”

  “Always so demanding.” Connie grinned as she shook her head at me.

  “It works both ways, young lady,” Cora added. “There’s been no boy talk from you all summer.”

  “You know Dad doesn’t let me date,” I grumbled.

  “Since when?” Cora asked.

  “Since always. He says I can date when I get into college.”

  “How ridiculous.” Cora waved the comment off with one hand. “Your father doesn’t have to know. A beautiful girl like you must have plenty of boys chasing after her, and it’s about time you started letting them catch you.”

  I wished it were as easy as that. My dad was a pretty nice guy most of the time, but this was one area where he wouldn’t budge. He was determined I get into a good college and wouldn’t allow any distractions—and dating was definitely considered a distraction. I’d also had to give up dancing lessons so I could focus on schoolwork this year, and I was much more upset about that. The boys at my school were all idiots, and I probably wouldn’t have dated any of them even if I could.

  “Cora, stop being a bad influence,” Grandma scolded before focusing on me. “She was boy-mad at your age, Ally, so don’t feel obliged to listen to her advice. You keep being my sweet, innocent granddaughter as long as you want.”

  I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, Grandma.”

  “Ignore her, date some cute boys,” Cora whispered to me as I went over to give her and Connie a kiss too.

  I laughed and said goodbye to The Three C’s. I was already missing them by the time I reached the parking lot, but I smiled the whole way home. Spending time with Grandma and her friends always made me happy. It was a shame I wouldn’t be able to see them as much once school started again.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready for school or glued to my Kindle in the living room. My friend Mia texted me to see if I wanted to meet up with her, but the book I’d started was too good to abandon, and I didn’t want to go anywhere until I finished it.

  It wasn’t the most sociable way to spend my day, but it was exactly how I felt like ending what had been a perfect summer break. I’d spent most days hanging out with my friends, and my brother had been too busy with football to bug me like he usually did. Even his loathsome best friend, Chase, had gone away for the summer, so I’d been left in blissful peace.

  I wasn’t ready for it all to be over, and I was dreading the start of the school year. I was going to have to study harder than I ever had before to get the grades I needed for college. Even though I’d clearly outlined my study plans on my calendar ahead of school tomorrow, I wasn’t mentally prepared for all the work I needed to do.

  I wasn’t dumb or anything, but I had to work a whole lot harder than my brother to do well at school. Learning and memorizing things came so easily to Shane, whereas I needed to put in hours of work. It was the reason Dad always had such strict rules for me and tended to turn a blind eye with him. Shane was naturally smart while I was a work in progress.

  I was partway through a chapter when the front doorbell rang. I frowned as I glanced in the direction of the chiming sound. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I had no idea who would be visiting us.

  “Will you get that, Ally?” my dad shouted from somewhere in the house.

  “Got it,” I called back as I placed my Kindle down and slowly pushed myself off the couch. The small movement seemed to take far more energy than normal, and my body was clearly complaining about being dragged away from a tense scene in my new book. There was no way the guest at the door would be here for me, but I was guessing Dad was busy working if he needed me to answer it for him.

  I hoped whoever was at the door understood that Sunday afternoons called for comfy clothes and messy hair because I’d changed into something comfortable for my book binge. I was wearing an old pair of cut-off jean shorts and a sloppy sweater that had holes in. It was the perfect outfit for lounging on the couch all afternoon but not so great for company.

  I pulled the front door open with just a little bit too much force, trying to keep my expression from revealing the irritation I felt at being interrupted while reading. The blood drained from my cheeks though, and my mild irritation seemed impossibly trivial as I saw who was standing at my door.

  It took me several long seconds to rid my expression of the shock I felt. I desperately tried to think of a simple way to rid my doorway of our visitor too, but nothing was ever easy when it came to Chase Williams.

  He was leaning against the doorframe looking relaxed and every bit like he belonged there. I hadn’t realized he was back in Fairview, and just the sight of him was enough to ruin my day.

  I stood there silently, glaring at Chase. He’d grown broader over the last six weeks, if that was even possible, and his tan had deepened after a summer in L.A. He was every bit as gorgeous as I remembered, but his looks didn’t faze me like they did the other girls in school. I knew that, behind his perfect exterior, Chase was cruel and calculating. His full lips were lifted in a smirk and his arctic-blue eyes were narrowed as he glared back at me.

  His stare caused my heart to beat quicker, but I kept my face passive, not daring to reveal he filled me with agitation. My veins still pulsed with the same toxic hatred he’d poisoned them with at the dance all those years ago, but instead of allowing the venom to weaken me, I used it to fuel my defenses against him and gave him a smirk of my own.

  “Ally,” he said in greeting.

  “Satan,” I replied. “Back already? I would have thought you were too busy destroying innocent souls in L.A.”

  Dark amusement swirled in his eyes. “I think you know there’s still one or two innocent souls back here in Fairview for me.” His gaze dipped to take in my fraying sweater and revealing shorts. I suddenly felt like I was showing far too much leg but quickly realized Chase was more likely to be judging my casual outfit than checking m
e out. He’d made it more than clear over the years just how repulsive he thought I was.

  “Your brother home?”

  “Nope.” Without another word, I took a step back and slammed the door in his face. It made a satisfying bang as it shut, and I smiled as I turned to walk back through the house. It might have been a childish thing to do, but it felt like a small victory. I only wished my heart wasn’t still racing. Chase always had that effect on me. He made me jittery and nervous and not in a good way.

  Dad didn’t look up as I entered the kitchen. He had legal files spread all over the kitchen table, and I knew it would probably take an atomic bomb going off in the backyard to rip his attention away from them. The man lived and breathed his work, and it was surprising to see him home from the office even though it was a weekend.

  “Who was at the door?”

  I jumped as Shane came up behind me.

  “Don’t sneak up on people,” I said, scowling over my shoulder at him.

  We both had the same dirty-blond hair as our dad, but that was where all similarity between us ended. His eyes were green while mine were blue. His head nearly reached the top of the doorframe, while Dad often joked that I still needed a booster seat almost every time I hopped in the car.

  To make matters worse, Shane also spent the nine months we shared in the womb stealing all the best genes and leaving me the worst. I thought twins were supposed to share things like athletic ability and book smarts evenly. But Shane was selfish. So, while he was the popular, smart, and sporty twin, I pretty much struggled with everything when it came to school.

  “So, who was it?” he repeated.

  “No one.”

  When the doorbell started chiming again, Shane lifted one eyebrow at me. “No one, huh?” He turned and left the kitchen to head for the front door, and my heart sank. A part of me had hoped Chase would give up and go home.

  “Is that Chase?” my dad asked, his eyes lifting from the files in front of him. I was surprised he’d even noticed the doorbell sound, but I guess Chase was the human equivalent of an atomic bomb—for me at least.