Dear Diary

by Lacey Heart

  “Good try, kid.” He laughs. “Having Tommy and Jake stay over gives me even more reason to have Alan stop by.”

  “But…”

  “I’m sure you forget I was a senior too, Cole. I know what it’s like and what you all plan on getting up to. I’m not saying don’t have fun because you don’t get these years back. Just be careful and humor your old man and allow me to do my thing, just the same as I allow you to do yours. Plus, the team captain has a reputation to protect, son. You just make sure you keep the Ashford name alive, clean and dry.”

  “Yo, Mr. Ashford. You’re looking as sharp as always if I do say so. Who’s the lucky lady and when do we get to meet her?”

  My dad laughs as my best friend, Tommy Pucker comes barreling through the back patio, and I don’t miss Pucker watching him in awe. It’s no secret that everyone wants my father to be their father.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, Tommy but there’s no lady. Just good old hard work. Hey, where’s Jake.” My father looks back at the patio doors, no doubt expecting Jake to come charging in at any given second, but he doesn’t come. “It sure looks strange without the third musketeer.”

  “Family drama or some shh…” Tommy tells him and cuts off just in time. “I don’t think it’s serious enough for us to worry about though.” He shrugs at my dad before grabbing an apple from the bowl on the island and bites down hard.

  “Right, kids. It’s time for me to leave but be good and try to stay out of trouble.” My father’s eyes fall and land on Tommy as he say’s this but it’s not in a nasty way. Tommy’s never had an easy life and my father understands that better than anyone.

  “Scouts honor, sir.” Tommy replies around a mouthful of apple and I’m surprised the motherfucker doesn’t choke on his lie.

  “Tommy, do I need to remind you that I’ve known you long enough to know you’ve never once graced the gates of Scouts in all your seventeen years?”

  “Now, that might be true, Mr. A, but it doesn’t mean I don’t mean every word. I take it very seriously.”

  My father laughs again and shakes his head some.

  “Oh, shut the hell up, you jerk.” I shake my own head at Tommy before reaching out for my cell and air pods from the island and follow my father out the door, with Tommy close behind.

  The cafeteria falls deadly quiet as soon as me, Pucker and Jake step through the doors and every single pupil in Riverstone has their eyes focused on us.

  The school goes silent and heads turn wherever we go, but this time feels different. It’s no secret that the whole school idolizes us. They worship the goddamn ground we walk on. Guy’s want to be us and their chicks want to fuck us. That’s just how it’s always been. But right about now it feels like they’re all watching us, not with awe, but expectation. Like they’re all waiting for something to go down. The atmosphere is thick and heavy, like a fog clouding us from the unknown.

  “There’s no fucking way she’ll back down.” Pucker hisses to Jake as they walk beside me, and he decides to chant it down my ear too just in case I didn’t hear the motherfucker the first time, and he breaks the eerie silence which surrounds us. “What the fuck are you looking at?” he demands. Surprisingly, no one answers him, and most eyes fall back on their tables, but a few stubborn ones continue to glare us down.

  “Get a fucking grip, man.” I snap back at him, not really in the mood to listen to his bullshit issues.

  “Plus, Jessica isn’t going to take this lying down and the last thing I need is her busting my balls right now.”

  I look at him side on and I totally get where he’s coming from, but I just don’t know what he wants me to do about it. Mia is on the fucking warpath, with me as her target and all he seems to care about is whether his chick’s gonna go to town on him. Where the fuck is the bro code? “Look, it’s my house, man. That means my rules. If Jessica has a problem with that then she can come and tell me herself.” I continue to put one foot in front of the other, and Tommy and Jake fall close behind me. “I want Saturday to be a Mia free zone. You hear me?”

  “Cole…” Tommy tries to argue his cause and I can detect a hint of desperation in his voice, but I won’t be a pushover for anyone. Not even my boys. I’m Cole fucking Ashford and there’s no way I’m gonna let anyone think I have a softer side. That’s not how I roll.

  “I don’t give a damn what you tell Jessica, just make it crystal fucking clear that Mia isn’t welcome.”

  I hear Tommy groan behind me, and I know he’s fallen into a difficult decision and usually I wouldn’t even think about making him choose, but Mia is Jessica’s best friend, and I don’t want Mia anywhere near me. Unfortunately, whatever issues he may face because of that really aren’t my problem. And Jake, knowing just how his sister is going to react to this news lets out a drastic groan of his own.

  “You just need to man the fuck up and put her in her place, bro.” Jake whistles, enjoying this moment, but not as much as the drama that’s about to unfold. “It’s high time you started to show her who wears the pants, man.”

  “Hear, fucking hear.” I clap in agreement. Everyone knows Tommy has been Jessica’s bitch for far too long and if he’s not careful he’ll end up the same way Mia and I did. A direct road to no fucking return. “Speak of the devil…”

  I nod my head toward the cheer table and see Mia and Jessica, their heads close together in deep discussion, and from the scowl on Mia’s face I can already tell she isn’t in the best of moods. As though sensing me watching her, her eyes leave Jessica and snap to mine and her fierce scowl deepens.

  What the hell is that supposed to do? Scare me? Make me suddenly regret ending things with her? Fuck that bullshit. Me and Mia, we’re over—well and truly done.

  “No time like the present.” Jake mutters his amusement and a small snicker escapes me. He’s such a fucking drama queen.

  “Fuck you, Parker.” He bites back and when I turn my head to look at him, I’m sure I can make out a small bead of sweat forming on his furrowed brow.

  “He’s got a point, man. May as well go and get it over and done with.” I add.

  “I fucking really hate you at times, Ashford.”

  “Sure you do. But then who doesn’t? Do this. Go stand your ground, and I promise you’ll feel so much better for it.” I slap him hard on the shoulder and give him an encouraging shove in the right direction before turning around and heading straight to our table with Jake hot on my heels, and the two of us sit down to watch a pussy-whipped Tommy take the painful walk to inevitable death—in front of the whole damn school.

  “I thought you said he didn’t have the balls?” I open a bottle of soda and raise a surprised brow at Jake.

  I didn’t think he did. When it comes to Jessica, Tommy is a helpless soul, but we need to get him out of that trap. He’s a seventeen-year old hot-blooded male with his whole life ahead of him. What kind of friend would I be if I just stood back and watched him throw it all away but being some chicks bitch?

  I won’t lie. It’s painful to watch and Jessica doesn’t take any bullshit from anyone, but the rules are the rules. And the rules have been clear… bro’s before ho’s, and that will never change no matter how hard your dick gets by one of these cock teasers. Tommy knows this and I just hope he remembers the code and stays loyal to his guys.

  I already know Jessica will turn on the charm and try to get under his skin. She’ll try her damned hardest to make him feel bad and like he’s let her down. She’ll also try to make him feel bad that her best friend—my ex—once the most popular girl in Riverstone has finally been shut down. Put in her rightful place, which is nowhere and banned from attending my party.

  I know it will hurt Mia more than anything else because anyone who’s anyone will be there—everyone except the fallen queen of Riverstone.

  “Maybe you…”

  Jakes voice pulls me out of my thoughts and bites out through gritted teeth, “maybe what?” I snap my head to the right to look him square in the eye a
nd I feel furious that he’d even try to question me in this—to try to change my mind.

  I already know what he’s about to say before he even opens his mouth, but I continue to stare him down until he finally finds the courage to speak again.

  “Maybe let Mia come this weekend. Just make sure she stays out of your way.”

  “And why the fuck would I do that?” Shit, man. Did Parker take a hit to the head during practice this morning? Fuck, he must have done to be brave enough to question my decisions.

  “Come on, Cole. If you don’t let her come and deliberately single her out, both Mia and Jessica will make our lives a living hell and you know it too.”

  “And…” I say deadpan. “It’s never bothered you before. Mia gets a sick kick out of making everyone’s life a misery, and Jessica’s always more than happy to play along like the silly little lap dog she really is.”

  “Yeah, I get that. Really, I do, but now Mia has something to prove, doesn’t she? Now she has a valid reason to try to bring you down, just the way you did to her. Mia’s the type of chick who won’t stop until she’s embarrassed you in front of the whole school and you’re trending on social media for the whole damn world to see.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  AVERY

  “I’ll meet you after class if you want. Maybe we could do something together, grab something to eat?”

  I hear Emily saying something to me while I pick out my chemistry books from my locker. My head is dazed, knowing I’m about to spend the next two hours squashed between a cold ass window and Cole Ashford. Talk about totally different climates.

  I know Emily asked me something, but her words don’t fully register in my head before I have a chance to think about what she’s said. I’ve already nodded my agreement to whatever she has planned as I rushed to get everything ready for Chemistry class.

  Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to worry about that later. Right now, I’ve bigger things to worry about. Like a double period with dark and dangerous. Two whole hours under his persistent gaze is going to be nothing but pure torture. Friday’s are fast becoming my least favorite day of the whole goddamn week, and I used to live for Friday’s.

  I pause as soon as I reach the classroom door and I hug my books to my chest, hoping it will somehow help me hold myself together before the cracks grow deeper and completely fall apart.

  I close my eyes, purse my lips and inhale a few deep breaths while trying my damned hardest to regulate my breathing and my erratic heart rate. It’s pumping so fast, going totally wild, desperate for an escape from this wild rollercoaster of emotions my body is experiencing. Damn, this is a bad sign when I haven’t even laid eyes on Cole yet.

  This is getting ridiculous.

  I don’t even know why I’m allowing a total jerk-off like Cole Ashford to get deep under my skin. Usually I would have treated this persistent itch long ago, swatted him away like a wretched wasp, but for some crazy ass reason it feels like when it comes to Cole, there is no cure.

  Maybe he’ll end up being a no-show. My life would sure feel so much sweeter if that happened, but the universe has never worked in my favor so why would it start now?

  I turn back to look at Emily, but she’s gone already. A small retreating figure in the crowded halls and I suddenly feel all alone in this crazy ass school. The thought of hopping on the next available flight to go back home pops into my head and warmth fills my chest. I could go into hiding until my eighteenth. If that was possible it would be like a dream come true but I’m not stupid. I know that isn’t possible. There’s no doubt in my mind that the authorities would stop me at immigration and they’d probably come down on me like a mass convict. Totally not worth the risk.

  Maybe I could walk right out of school and hide out in the farmhouse while my mom’s out of town. I’ve a strange feeling Maya wouldn’t be too happy about that little set up, even if I did try to pretend to be riddled with cramps.

  I guess the choice is out of my hands—as usual. I just need to pull up my big girl panties and stick it out for the foreseeable. All I can do is hope and pray that this double period flies by without so much as a hitch.

  “You waiting for me, Hollywood?”

  I flinch at the sound of his voice somewhere behind me and the hairs on the back of my neck stand tall, warning me of the possible danger that lays ahead. He’s so close behind me now that I can feel the heat of his breath against my skin, causing icy tingles to kiss my spine and my heart beats faster than it did five seconds ago and I know this isn’t a good sign.

  As much as I want to turn around and shoot him down with my favorite death glare, I surprisingly resist and keep my eyes firmly on the door ahead.

  Two hours…

  One-hundred and twenty minutes…

  Seven-thousand and two hundred seconds…

  That’s all I need to get through and then Cole Ashford will be out of my hair for two glorious days. If only I can build up just enough strength to ignore his presence, but then that’s so much easier said than done.

  “You wish.” I finally mutter and I bite down hard on my lower lip, tasting fresh blood as I push the door open and walk into my own personal hell. I really wish I was anywhere but here, and it’s a real shame I don’t slam the door in Cole’s face.

  I toss my assignment on Mr. Birch’s desk as I stomp toward my seat at the back of the Chemistry class; where I’ll be all alone with dark and dangerous for what will feel like an eternity.

  He’s hot on my heels. I can feel his strong, domineering presence closing in behind me and when I fall into my seat he’s there; right next to me, his intense black eyes watching me closely, searching me for only god knows what and then he looks at me like I’d disappear if he were to look away. It’s only for a moment, but I saw it just before his face returns to its usual sinful scowl.

  This so isn’t going to work.

  There’s no way I can be this close to him without a multitude of wild emotions rippling through my body like a goddamn tidal wave, knocking me back and forth, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t figure out a way to switch them off.

  I need Mr. Birch to hurry the hell up and get it together. He needs to figure out a new seating plan, and fast because I can’t do this for the next five months. I can’t concentrate while the sinful prince of darkness is this close to me. Cole Ashford totally consumes me, and I can’t even try to deny it. He makes my stomach flip like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, and he makes me nervous as hell, and nerves aren’t a something I’m used to feeling all too often. Actually, I’m not used to feeling anything at all right now.

  I also hate being unsure of his next move, and the wicked smirk on his face tells me he sure as hell knows it too.

  “Hey, Hollywood.” Cole shoves his elbow into mine and I’m so startled from the contact, I almost fall into the window next to me. Cole doesn’t seem to notice, and if he did, he doesn’t make a fuss about it. “I’ve been thinking…”

  “Nice. So you do have a brain up there after all, huh?” I bite back and I feel like kicking myself for rising to his bait so soon.

  Cole narrows his black eyes at me, and a wicked smirk graces his lips as he leans in closer to me and says, “I’m so much more than just a pretty face, Hollywood.”

  “Quit calling me that.” He laughs and he’s so goddamn arrogant. I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who thinks so highly of themselves.

  “Hollywood.” He mouths and I have a strong urge to slap the smug look from his face, but I know that won’t do anything to help me in the long run.

  “Whatever.” I huff back at him, hoping he’ll shut the hell up and get on with his work. He doesn’t. Instead, his eyes continue to burn into mine and it’s hard to look away because when I’m this close to him and his eyes are fixed on mine, it’s like I’m under his spell. Totally fixated by the boy next to me when my body is screaming out for me to run and never look back.

  “I’m having the mother of all parties this
weekend over at my place and I think you should come.”

  I open my mouth to deliver a smart reply, but my brain refuses to function, so I snap it shut again. Is this some kind of sick joke? The cool guy—the king of Riverstone, Emily’s words, not mine. Why would he suddenly invite the new girl, who no one really bothers with, to one of his super cool parties? I don’t think so. There’s no way I’m prepared to be anyone’s fool. Cole Ashford can go and find some other girl to use for one of his pranks.

  He remains silent as he waits for my answer and I watch him closely, half expecting some kind of punch line to fall from his mouth, but he still doesn’t say anything. I know I haven’t known him long, but his face tells me he’s being serious. Deadly serious.

  “I’m busy.” I shoot him down before giving him one last burning glare and then try to focus all my attention on the text book in front of me, desperately trying to block him out of my thoughts and my line of sight, but it’s so much harder than I thought it would be. Especially when he leans in even closer to me, so close that I know if I move an inch in his direction it will be game over. My eyes automatically fall and land on his pink lips and for a stupid second I wonder how they would taste, how they would feel pressing down against mine.

  I bite down on my lower lip again, breaking the skin again and I force my eyes away from his because if I don’t then I’ll be held completely captive under his intense gaze with zero control over my actions, and that’s not a position I want to find myself in. Not now, or ever.

  “So, cancel.” Cole demands after a few moments of deathly silence between the two of us, and he says it like he already holds all the cards. He couldn’t be more wrong. “It’ll be the perfect opportunity for you to meet all the important people in Riverstone.”