Cabin Fever

by Shani Greene-Dowdell et al.

  “I have no idea if it was a penis thing, per say. I think it was more of a new blood type of thing. I was new in town and the pickings were slim for a woman who had dated just about every man in town.”

  It was Eileen’s turn to laugh. She leaned in whispering to me, “Did you just call that woman a hoe?”

  We sat there giggling and laughing like two teenagers on their first date. In a way, it was. Other than our wedding and reception, this was the first time we were out together. Things quieted down as Sallie Jo came back with two glasses of water. I almost fell out of my seat laughing when Eileen asked for a glass of sweet tea and was told they only had unsweet. She reminded me of that Gary Coleman character on that TV show. If her pouty lips had let ‘What you talkin’ bout’ escape, they may have had to call the ambulance to revive me. She could not fathom a place not serving sweet tea. Her Southern sensibilities were insulted, which made for great entertainment for me.

  “Are you sure I can’t get you some iced tea? We have sugar packs right there so you can sweeten it to your liking.”

  The horrified look on my wife’s face was causing my face to crack from holding in my laugh. She shook her head back and forth, eyes bugging out of her head before informing Sallie Jo that sugar had to be added to hot tea or it would never taste right. This confused Sallie Jo, never having made sweet tea a day in her life. Around these parts, women avoided sugar like the plague. It was the enemy of small waistlines and we couldn’t have that, now could we?

  “Oh bless her heart. Who ever heard of adding sugar to iced tea? That poor woman has a lot to learn about serving tea. Didn’t you say she has been in the food service industry over twenty-five years? And people out here think Southerners are backwards.”

  “Enough about her. Didn’t you tell me you came up with a name for the B&B facility? Tell me about it.”

  Her face lit up like a night sky with a full moon as she grabbed her phone and started reading her notes.

  “Okay, stay with me here. Since you are a former Navy Seal and we’ll be hosting former military men and women, I thought we could call the facility The Frogman, since that’s what they called divers back in the day. Isn’t that one of the many nicknames they call Navy Seals?”

  I grinned and nodded my head at the name. I never would have come up with it even though I was very familiar with the moniker bestowed upon our elite unit. She was brilliant.

  “The Frogman is perfect, just like you.”

  She grinned at me as I took her hand and kissed it.

  Eight

  Great Expectations

  Eileen

  After the most embarrassing wedding night in the history of man, I was scared to face Lincoln. When I opened my eyes and he was not in bed with me, relief washed over my body. Sitting up, I spied my bag sitting on the foot of the bed. Well, at least he wasn’t packing me up and shipping me back to where I came from. Linc was actually very accommodating considering my inability to satisfy him. I wanted to try again, and I hoped he would allow me a chance to make it up to him. With that in mind, I eased out of bed, ignoring the soreness between my legs, grabbed my toiletries and darted into the bathroom to shower.

  I stood in the mirror for a long time looking at my body, trying to see if I looked any different. Aside from my puffy eyes, I looked exactly the same.

  Eyes – sad.

  Face – frowning.

  Hands – ashy.

  Hair – a hot ass mess.

  Where was Trina when I needed her? I missed my sister and needed to hear her voice. I knew we said I shouldn’t contact her unless it was a dire emergency. In my mind, a botched first night as a wife qualified. I plucked my burner phone from the counter and pressed the contact for Trina. I hoped she was alone and could talk.

  “Hello.” Trina whispered into the phone.

  “Trina, can you talk?”

  “Are you alright? What happened? Why are you calling?”

  “Something happened, but nothing dire. I’m okay. I just need to talk.”

  “Give me a minute. Hang on.”

  I heard muffled voices in the background, her heels walking on an uncarpeted floor and then silence.

  “Okay, I can talk freely. What the hell happened? You weren’t supposed to call unless it was an emergency.”

  “I just needed to talk to you about last night.”

  “Bitch, did he knock that back out? Was it so good that you would chance getting found? Damn. I need to get me some of that.”

  “Trina!”

  “Girl, not your man’s. I’m just saying, something like that. So it was good huh?”

  “Well, at first it was great! He used his mouth on me and it felt amazing.”

  “Yes! Sis got the box ate. Did you come?”

  “Un huh. A lot.”

  “Okay then! Look at big sis acting like she grown. So what went wrong?”

  “Everything he did felt so good and I really wanted him. When he put it in, it hurt so much that I started crying. When he noticed, he stopped and that was it. I ruined my wedding night because I was too weak to take it.”

  “Was it that big? Oww, girl you are lucky. Wait, you said you ruined the night. Did you start fighting? Was he an asshole about it?”

  I shook my head as if she could see me. “No. That’s just it. He was sad. He stopped immediately and the look on his face was pure disappointment. Then he asked if I was a virgin.”

  “Wait a minute, you didn’t tell him?”

  “Nope.”

  “And he wasn’t mad? He didn’t yell or nothing?”

  “No, he was a gentleman. He rolled over and pulled me into his arms while saying how sorry he was. He held me all night until I cried myself to sleep.”

  “Bitch what was with the waterworks? You’re a married woman now. Get your shit together.”

  “I know it seems childish, but I couldn’t stop crying. That shit hurt. I was scared he tore something.”

  “Bitch, what? He’s that big? Shit. He got a brother? You know they say size is inherited.”

  “Oh please, you know that is a lie. Peens are like snowflakes, no two are alike.”

  “Sounds like you got a blizzard over there. So what’s the issue if he isn’t tripping?”

  “I don’t know where to go from there. I feel awkward bringing it up to him. Actually, I don’t want to talk about it at all. I just want to forget the whole thing took place.”

  “Sis, that’s going to be hard. Um, I mean difficult.” She laughed at her crass joke, but I found no humor in the situation.

  “Trina, this is serious. How am I ever going to get him to touch me again?”

  “Oh, that’s easy. His dick is probably on semi right now. If he didn’t finish, trust me, he is thinking about getting back in there. I’m sure he’s thinking about it right now. He’s dreaming up all kinds of nasty dirty stuff to do to you. All you have to do is ask for it.”

  “What? I can’t ask him for it.”

  “Why the hell not. You want it right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Alright then. I’m willing to bet he is scared to even touch you like that. That man is not coming within five feet of you without your permission. He wants it, but he won’t ask for it. If you’re too shy to ask, you ain’t never getting busy.”

  “Are you sure? Mother said men should always take the lead in these situations.”

  “Girl, if you haven’t figured it out yet, our mother is no expert. She’s just going by her experience with Daddy. It’s not like she was out there getting it in with different men. All she knows is Cleveland Sheridan.”

  I had never thought about things from that perspective before. My mother was giving me all these lessons like she was a world-renowned expert, when in fact she had limited research on the subject. Maybe Trina was right. I would wait until the right moment and make my move. If he turned me down, at least I would know for sure he doesn’t want me.

  “Thanks Trina. I feel a little better now.”

&nbs
p; “Good. Now, tell me about the wedding. Did he like the dress?”

  “It was simple and classic. He hired a photographer as a surprise. As soon as we get the pictures, I’ll send you a couple.”

  “I loved the one of you in the mirror you sent while you were at the airport. What did your husband think?”

  “I’m pretty sure he loved the dress. The way he looked at me was intoxicating. He called me breathtaking. He actually proposed to me in the truck. It was so sweet. Oh, and after the ceremony, we went to this local restaurant where he arranged a small reception with about twenty of his friends. We had so much fun dancing and singing.”

  “You sound like you had fun. I am so happy for you. Your parents, on the other hand are losing their minds! They are looking for you everywhere. Which reminds me, I need to end this call and get back out there. The takeover is taking place later this week and I need to be ready. Take care of yourself, sis. And when you’re feeling horny again, go jump on that big dicked Navy Seal and ride him like a bronco.”

  “You’re sick. Love you and miss you like crazy. Later Trina.”

  “Later, sis. Give him hell.”

  After speaking with Trina, my confidence was boosted. I jumped in the shower and carefully cleaned my sore body. After going through my normal hygiene ritual, I wrapped the small towel from the rack in the bathroom around me so I could grab some clothes from my bag. Instead of finding an empty room, I walked in on Lincoln dismantling his romantic gesture from the night before. It was sweet, but I doubt he ever wanted to see it again. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, so I am sure his tasted foul as well.

  When he turned and saw me clad in the tiny towel, my husband quickly surveyed my body, but then growled, grabbed the project he was working on and practically ran away from me. He did manage to speak, but the look on his face said it all. He couldn’t wait to get away from me. That shit hurt. Gone was the desire that radiated the night before. Now only panic and regret greeted me. As soon as the door closed behind him, I allowed the tears to roll down my face.

  I walked toward the bed to grab my clothes and that’s when I noticed the tray of food. He cooked me breakfast. That meant he wasn’t super mad at me. Right? I took my time eating and then I got dressed. Steeling myself for the confrontation that I was sure was waiting for me on the other side of the door, I took a deep breath and turned the knob. There was my husband standing in the living room looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. It was my job as his wife to take some of that burden, so I tamped down my nerves and readied myself to be supportive. That’s when he turned to look at me. Walking over he took the tray and made a joke about his cooking.

  We spent the day touring the house, the land, the fields of cannabis and meeting his workers. During our lunch trip to town, I was introduced to a few more interesting characters from my new hometown. Linc allowed me to take the lead on the new B&B that we were planning. He even loved the idea of naming it The Frogman. It seemed like every idea I threw at him, he loved. It felt amazing to have someone value my opinions.

  After leaving the café and running a few errands, Linc stated we needed to go grocery shopping because his cupboards were bare, and he had no idea what I liked to eat.

  “Please tell me you’re not one of those California men who don’t eat meat. I think they call it vagrant?”

  A very loud chuckle rumbled from Linc’s chest. Several ladies in the store turned to look our way with disapproving glares. Come to think of it, that had been happening all day. Every time he laughed, it was loud and boisterous. I got a kick out of him. If he noticed the people looking his way, he said nothing. Instead he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I like it when he does that, by the way.

  “Baby, the word you’re looking for is Vegan, not vagrant.”

  “Whatever! As long as my man eats meat, I’m good. I can’t be cooking no black bean burgers and shit.”

  “Yes, Eileen. I eat meat from the rooter to the tooter.”

  I laughed my ass off. Apparently, he was a John Witherspoon fan. That man was hilarious. He was Trina’s favorite comedian. She had secretly streamed a few of his movies and that Television show with those brothers so I could watch them. I think they called him Pops.

  “There will be no tooting in my kitchen, mister.”

  We shopped, went home and put up the groceries before I cooked my first dinner for my husband. While we were shopping, I found out he was a pretty simple meat and potatoes kind of man. No fancy bougie meals required. He decided while I was cooking, he would relax by listening to some vinyl records. After discovering I had a limited knowledge of music, he made it a point to introduce me to different artists so I could tell what I liked and what I could do without.

  “Eileen, I am going to play music for you. Each night I will play something from a different genre and mix up the decades too. It will be a fun way for you to figure out what you like. Cool?”

  “Yeah, that sounds fun Linc. Thank you.”

  “No need to thank me. I love music and I want to share that love with you.”

  “Can you tell me what you expect from me as your wife? I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “I have great expectations from you. Be truthful at all times, support me, eventually love me, make me laugh. Making love to me regularly would also be nice. That last one is only if you want to. Other than that I expect you to be your own person and do what makes you happy. It would be nice if you took care of things around the house like cooking, but that’s only because we’ll be eating breakfast morning noon and night if I do it. What about you?”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, what expectations do you have for me as your husband?”

  “Well, it would be nice to be loved for who I am, once I figure that out. I need a man who is loyal. A man who would never be with another woman. That’s important to me. I love it when you kiss me. I could do that all day. If you could keep my favorite snacks on hand, that would make my day. Oh, and I expect you to kill all spiders and bugs. That is a deal breaker.”

  He laughed making his body rumble and walked over to me. “I think I got it. Don’t fuck around, feed you snacks, give you kisses on demand and kill the fucking spiders. I think I can do that.” Then he bent down and planted a sweet kiss on my lips that made my body tingle all over.

  Nine

  Man in the Mirror

  Eileen

  When my husband offered to play tunes for me so I could figure out what type of music I was into, it felt amazing. He wanted to share something with me that he loved. I mean, the man had a full-on turn table and a sick collection of vinyl. There was music from just about every era and genre. Linc was like one of those commercials that played late night when Trina and I stayed up and watched TV. You know the ones where old school artists take a trip down memory lane and sell a huge collection of music from the 60s and 70s. He knew every artist, album and what year it came out. It amazed me the amount of knowledge he had about music.

  “Linc, do you have a secret dream to become a musician?”

  He quirked his eyebrow and looked at me with curiosity.

  “Why would you ask that?”

  “Look at you. You’re like Rain Man™ over there spouting facts, dates and times. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were about sixty years old reliving your glory days.”

  “Oh, you think you’re funny. Well, lucky for you I have the knowledge so I can teach you. See, we are made for each other.”

  He walked into the kitchen as I was plating the steak fajitas he had been salivating over since I threw the meat in the cast iron skillet to sizzle. Leaning over to smell the food, he lifted his face to mine and stole a kiss. One thing about him, all I had to do was ask him for something once and he would make it happen. My earlier comment about liking his kisses and wanting more had caused the man’s lips to frequently make contact with some part of my body. It was thrilling having him be so attentive and I had to admit it was
making me want to be with him the more he did it.

  We decided to eat on the couch, so I spread out a feast of fajitas, guacamole, chips and Mexican salad on the coffee table along with a couple of beers from the local brew master. Music was playing as we ate causing me to ask a ton of questions. The album he chose was a man with a strikingly familiar voice belting a rocky, blues number talking about being so nervous he was shaking. The song had me wiggling in my seat and ignoring my food so I could sing along.

  “You like that one, huh?”

  “Yep. Who is it? He sounds so familiar.”

  “Have you ever heard of a band called The White Stripes?”

  I shook my head indicating I had not as I took a huge bite of my fajita. He grinned at my greediness and continued my music lesson.

  “Well, he was the lead singer, writer and played a few instruments. It was more of a duo than a band. They broke up in 2011 and he went solo.”

  “Okay, but you still didn’t tell me who it was.”

  “My bad. I present to you Jack White.”

  “Cool. I like him. Do you have any White Stripes albums? I wouldn’t mind checking them out too.”

  The night continued with Linc teaching me about different artists and me saying hit or miss. It was a fun way for me to learn about music. I hoped he was this patient and fun when he was teaching me how to please him in the bedroom. It was something I thought about a lot since last night. As I cleared the table, I noticed Linc fiddling with his turn table. I paid it no attention as I continued into the kitchen to wash the dishes. I had just finished running the sudsy water when Linc joined me at the sink looking like he was going to help.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Helping my beautiful wife clean the kitchen after she fed me a delicious meal.”

  Oh the blush that came over me was unexpected. He looked into my eyes with such intensity I couldn’t breathe. I licked my lips as I stared at his juicy mouth. It was full and very kissable, and I wanted a taste.