Worth Waiting For

by Burrows, Jax

  And another thing he was equally ashamed of was the way he’d asked Lexi to live with him. It was a miracle she hadn’t run screaming from the house. He just wasn’t the romantic type and had no idea how to tell Lexi how much he loved her.

  So, the only noble thing he could do, was to give Lexi space. He wasn’t sure what she intended to do with the space, but just hoped it didn’t involve filling it with a more attentive boyfriend. Hopefully, he hadn’t blown his chances completely.

  ‘Evening,’ he said forcing a smile to his face as he joined the people already seated. He was going to let his hair down with his team tonight. They had all earned a good night out and, as team leader, it was his job to make sure they got it.

  ‘Hello, Casey – on your own?’

  Catalina Martinez was already drinking white wine and looked ready to party.

  ‘Yes. You?’

  ‘I am. Young, free and single. Well, the second two, anyway.’ They laughed.

  ‘Great! Then will it be okay if I sit next to you? Two singletons together?’

  She grinned and pulled the chair out for him to sit down.

  He wasn’t flirting, but suddenly Catalina was looking at him with real warmth in her eyes. Under different circumstances he would have been happy about that, but he didn’t want the others to get the wrong idea. They all knew about Jade and Lexi.

  Oh, what the heck… It’s Christmas and people will think what they want anyway.

  He poured himself a glass of wine and when he looked up again, he noticed Lexi on the other table, glaring at him. He hadn’t noticed her arrive. She was sitting with Theresa, Sarala, Raj and their partners. She looked stunning in a dark blue wrap-around dress with three quarter sleeves and a low neckline, and her hair was long and loose. The dress looked familiar. Casey thought it may be the same one she had worn to the Italian Restaurant, when he’d just found out that Jade was his child. So much had happened since that night.

  *

  It had been a last-minute decision. As usual, she had been torn between wanting to get dressed up, so she looked her best and go out and kick ass as Jess described it and stay at home in front of the fire with a romance novel and a cup of cocoa.

  Jess and Craig were off to Edinburgh the following day, which was Christmas Eve, and Tom and Riordan were collecting Jade to stay for the duration of Christmas, as both she and Casey were on duty and there was no one else to look after her.

  She knew Casey would be here tonight, and she had hoped that he would, at least, want to sit next to her. He was on the other table, getting cosy with Catalina Martinez who was all over him like white on rice. He hadn’t even noticed her. Lexi’s cheeks burned, and she fumed as she stared hard at the pile of crackers.

  ‘They won’t go bang unless you pull ‘em,’ said Theresa, pouring two glasses of white wine.

  ‘Pardon me?’

  ‘The crackers – you look as if you are trying to use mind control on them.’ She handed Lexi a glass and clinked hers against it. ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Cheers,’ Lexi responded, taking a large gulp.

  ‘So – what’s going on?’

  ‘We had a bit of a falling out. It’s a long story which I will tell you one day. Tonight I want to forget all about men and ex-girlfriends and have a good time.’

  ‘Maybe you should tell your face that, you look a real misery-guts for someone who intends to have a good time.’

  ‘I just need some more of this,’ Lexi said holding her glass out for more wine.

  Theresa poured and Lexi knocked back half the glass.

  ‘Hey, easy tiger, we’ve got a long night ahead of us.’

  ‘Yes, you’re right.’ Lexi smiled at the others around the table. ‘I’m the only one on my own,’ she said finally, the smile slipping.

  ‘No, you’re not. There’s lots of single guys here tonight. You never know who you might meet. That is, if you’re sure you and Casey are finished.’

  ‘I told him I didn’t think we had a future together.’

  ‘And what did he say?’

  ‘Nothing much, I didn’t really give him the chance. I let him have it with both barrels.’

  ‘Have some more wine.’ Theresa filled their glasses again and Lexi realised she was filling them right to the top. They’d gone through a full bottle already - just the two of them.

  ‘I’m working tomorrow.’

  ‘Me too. Anyway, it’s Christmas. Let your hair down. If what you say is true – and, I would like to add at this juncture that I think you’re wrong – but if you’re not wrong, then there are plenty of eligible single men here tonight to flirt with and make the good doctor seething with jealousy. You can have Pete for a start. If he doesn’t stop flirting with Sarala I’m going to send him to A&E myself, so he can see what it’s like on the other side of the fence.’

  ‘Poor Pete.’ She giggled. Pete was a Senior House Officer and was being sized up by Theresa as potential husband material. Somehow, she didn’t think he’d last the course. Or even the night, judging by the way Theresa was eyeing up one of the consultants from orthopaedics on the other side of the room.

  She just hoped that Pete would still be around at the end of the evening to give her a lift home. She doubted Casey would offer. They’d made eye contact twice now and he hadn’t even bothered to come over and say hello.

  *

  Casey detached himself from Catalina’s soulful gaze and wandered over to the other table. They all looked up at his approach. All except Lexi who wouldn’t meet his eyes.

  ‘Hi, guys – how’s it going? What did you all have for a starter?’ He wasn’t really interested in what they’d eaten, but as an ice-breaker, it was as good as anything else he could come up with on the spur of the moment.

  ‘I had the prawns,’ said Theresa.

  ‘Garlic mushrooms,’ said Sarala and her partner together. They glanced at each other and smiled as only lovers could do.

  He hadn’t been introduced formally to the plus-ones, so Sarala’s boyfriend stood up and shook Casey’s hand solemnly.

  ‘Pleased to meet you,’ Casey said, forgetting the man’s name immediately. He was too eager to get Lexi to look at him to be interested in anyone else at that moment. ‘Lexi – what did you have?’

  She turned her head from contemplating the wall at the far end of the room and gave him a social smile. ‘Oh, hi Casey. I had the soup. And what did you have? I’m sure we’re all dying to know.’

  Theresa had just put her glass to her lips and taken a sip of wine. She spluttered indelicately and put her napkin to her mouth.

  ‘Actually, I had the soup too.’

  ‘And Catalina?’

  ‘Uh – the soup.’

  ‘And did she enjoy it?’

  ‘Yes, very much.’

  ‘I’m so glad,’ Lexi said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

  Lexi was still mad that much was obvious. There was only one thing to do. Retreat. ‘Well, I’d better get back as the waiters are serving the main course. Have fun, team. See you later.’

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  ‘You’re reading too much into it.’ Theresa speared a sprout with her fork and stuffed it into her mouth.

  ‘Urgh!’ Sarala said with a shiver, ‘I don’t know how you can eat those things, they taste disgusting.’

  ‘Love ‘em,’ said Theresa chewing.

  ‘Well, you can have mine, then.’ She scraped all the sprouts off her plate onto Theresa’s.

  ‘Cheers.’ Theresa continued shovelling them into her mouth, their conversation apparently forgotten.

  ‘Well, how would you read it? It looks to me as if he’s with Catalina and not me. How else can it be interpreted?’ She stumbled over the last word, realising how much she had drunk.

  ‘He’s just sitting next to her. He’s probably just doing his duty as team leader and making sure she has a good time.’

  ‘They don’t have to sit that close. And why is it his job to make sure she has a good time? And
what about me?’

  Theresa pointed her fork at Lexi and gravy fell off the sprout, held captive on the prongs, and dripped onto the white tablecloth.

  ‘You know what your trouble is?’ she said, waving the fork in front of her, ‘you don’t know what you really want.’

  ‘What d’you mean?’ Lexi watched, mesmerized, as another sprout disappeared into Theresa’s mouth.

  ‘I mean,’ she said belching quietly, ‘Casey’s yours for the taking but you don’t do anything about it. He’s perfect for you but you keep sending him mixed signals. Just go after what you want. Now would be the perfect time.’

  ‘What if he doesn’t want me? I did say some very harsh things to him. What if he’s gone off me and has set his sights on Catalina?’

  ‘Yes, but what if he hasn’t? Anyhow, you were there first. Finders keepers, losers weepers and all that.’

  ‘I don’t know how. Seriously. I’m no good at this kind of thing.’

  Theresa pushed her plate away and sat back with her hands over her belly. Pete was nowhere in sight and Lexi wondered if Theresa had forgotten all about him.

  ‘So, tell me something. How did you two get it together that first time?’

  ‘Well… we were dancing, and-’

  ‘Bingo!’ Theresa leant forward and thumped the table, making the neat arrangement of crackers collapse in a heap. ‘That’s your answer. Get him on the dance floor. Work your magic. Charm him. He’ll be putty in your hands.’

  ‘Who will?’ asked Pete as he returned to the table and grabbed a cracker, pointing it at Theresa. ‘Pull this with me?’

  She pulled and the whole table were joining in, pulling crackers, screeching at the bangs, reading the jokes aloud and groaning, playing with the novelties, until all the crackers had been pulled and the debris scattered all over the table.

  As she joined in the fun, Lexi watched the other table out of the corner of her eye. Casey and Catalina were talking quietly, their heads together. Casey was frowning, and Catalina was gesturing a lot with her hands. It reminded Lexi of the time she saw Casey in the Sticky Bun with the estate agent. That woman had used her hands a lot when she talked as well.

  She hadn’t felt the slightest bit jealous then, so what had changed? Why did she feel such red-hot resentment of a female colleague? Because it made her realise that she was on the verge of losing the best thing that had ever happened to her. Apart from Jade. And the two were indistinguishable. Casey had done everything he could to convince her of his feelings. And she had rejected him. It was all her fault. She thought she could never forgive him for letting Helen kidnap Jade but was finding it hard to hang on to her conviction. She knew deep down that Casey had been as scared as she had been. It was time she forgave him.

  She loved Jade and she loved Casey. She wanted them both. Needed them both. Together. She should be the one sitting next to him tonight, as his partner, so close they were breathing the same air. The thought of him desiring another woman was like a knife to the heart. Theresa was right. She needed to do something before it was too late, and she lost him forever.

  *

  ‘I’m a good listener, but you can tell me to mind my own business if you want.’

  Casey sighed. ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘Isn’t it always with affairs of the heart?’

  So Casey told Catalina the whole story. Helen, the abortion and how it sent her into a psychotic episode, her taking Jade and Lexi telling him she couldn’t trust him and that they had no future together. She listened intently without interrupting. Casey was grateful for her friendship and the opportunity to offload. He felt better when he had finished.

  ‘And how do you feel about Lexi?’ Catalina asked.

  ‘I love her. I want us to be together as a family. I want her to be my wife eventually. My parents have got an incredibly strong marriage and I’ve always wanted the same. They talk every issue through, they share everything: good times and bad. Neither makes a decision that affects them both without checking it out with the other.’

  He fell silent as he pictured his mum and dad in the kitchen at the end of the day, in their dressing-gowns, chatting easily and companionably, before going to bed. They were madly in love, but their love had always been built on friendship and trust.

  ‘Casey?’

  ‘Umm?’

  ‘Are you okay? I just asked you a question.’

  ‘Sorry. What did you say?’

  ‘I said you talk a lot about what you want, but what does Lexi want?’

  Casey was silent, then he frowned. ‘I think she wants the same. She’s never known family life as she was brought up in care. Doesn’t everyone want to be part of a loving family?’

  ‘Have you ever asked her what she wants?’

  ‘Well…’ Had he? Surely he must have done. ‘Maybe not in so many words…’ He realised that he never had.

  ‘Have you ever told Lexi how you feel? Women today have many and varied talents, but I’m afraid mind reading does not feature amongst them.’ Casey loved the way Catalina expressed herself. Her English was impeccable and poetic. Her questions, however, were too close to the bone and were beginning to make him squirm.

  ‘Yes, I’ve told her. I bought a house and asked her to move in with me.’

  ‘And she said yes?’

  ‘Well no, not exactly. She said she would have liked the chance to choose somewhere herself.’

  ‘What do you intend to do?’ Catalina sipped her wine. He couldn’t read her expression and she hadn’t offered any advice. He needed advice. Badly.

  ‘I don’t know. What do you think I should do?’

  ‘Are you asking my opinion?’

  ‘Yes. Please.’

  ‘Then tell her. Tell her exactly what you have just told me. That you love her and can’t live without her. If your parents’ marriage is your role model then you must have as your foundation, trust and friendship, yes?’

  Casey felt a wave of gratitude for Catalina, mixed with a twinge of guilt. She was looking at him with concern.

  ‘You’re right, and I just want to thank you for listening. You came here for a good night out and ended up as my agony aunt, listening to my problems. Let me apologise for that.’

  ‘No need to apologise. What are friends for? And I hope we are friends as well as colleagues.’ She put her hand on his arm and leaned closer. ‘Would you like a quick dance before the disco gets too crowded? I know what these Christmas parties are like. Soon everyone will be trying to get on the dance floor, and it will be like a tin of sardines.’

  He grinned. ‘Great idea.’

  *

  ‘He’s dancing with her now.’ Lexi felt wretched. Casey had his hand on the small of Catalina’s back as they passed their table. He had barely glanced her way.

  ‘Doesn’t mean a thing,’ said Theresa who was yawning, ‘he’s being a good host, that’s all. Don’t stress it.’

  ‘He’s not the host, though, and he’s hardly spoken to anyone else all night, including me.’

  Theresa leant forward and held up three fingers. ‘You have two choices,’ she was slurring her words and seemed to be having trouble focusing, ‘you can sit there being a miserable party popper and feeling sorry for yourself,’ she put down a finger, ‘or…’ she paused to swig some more wine.

  ‘Party pooper, you mean.’

  ‘You got that right. You’ve had a face like a slapped arse all night, or,’ the fingers came up again, ‘you can fight for your man. Get onto that dance floor and show him your moves, girlfriend. Give it the old shimmy-shimmy and the poor man won’t stand a chance.’

  ‘Come with me?’ she pleaded.

  ‘Okay.’ Theresa stood up then grabbed hold of the table and sat back down again, abruptly. ‘Oh God, I’m drunk. Think you’ll have to go alone.’

  ‘Right. Then I will.’ She would. In a minute. Just as soon as she’d worked out a strategy. Should she go up to him and start talking, as if she hadn’t been furious with him al
l night? But what about Dr Martinez? It would be too rude to interrupt them. Heck no, he was her boyfriend, the father of her child, she had every right to join them. What if they were slow dancing, or worse, kissing? Would she just stand there suffering the bitterest humiliation she could think of, or would she take a swing at him, or her, or maybe the pair of them? Perhaps she should stay here where she was safe.

  ‘What are you waiting for?’ asked Theresa.

  ‘Courage.’

  ‘Have some more wine.’ Theresa poured the last of the bottle into Lexi’s glass and she knocked it back in one go.

  ‘Don’t leave it too long,’ Theresa said.

  ‘I’ll just nip to the ladies first, freshen up a bit, put some lippy on.’

  ‘Good idea.’ Theresa leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Lexi wondered how long it would be before she started snoring.

  The ladies was packed with women standing three deep in front of the mirrors, mouths contorting as they applied lip gloss and eyes wide as they repaired the damage to their mascara. The harsh lights were unforgiving, so Lexi merely pulled a comb through her hair and sprayed on some more perfume, to add to the growing bouquet of aromas making the air thick and difficult to breathe. She looked pale, so pinched her cheeks as she’d forgotten to bring her blusher. She could have asked one of the women if she could borrow theirs, but it was unhygienic to share make-up and she was beginning to feel claustrophobic. She fought her way out of the confined space and made her way to the lounge.

  The DJ was playing lively Christmas songs and people were singing along loudly and tunelessly, kicking their legs up and whooping with laughter. Everyone wore either a paper hat from their cracker or one of the mass-produced Santa hats. Raj still wore his flashing antlers and Sarala had acquired a hat that was huge and Christmas tree shaped, but, if it had been a different colour, say, black or brown, could have been mistaken for a witch’s hat. Lexi was sure she hadn’t been wearing it during the meal.