by Erin Osborne
Chapter Seven
Gwen
KILLER IS SUCH a jerk. I can’t believe he came into the Naughty Peach and carried me out of there. Telling me where I can and can’t work isn’t his responsibility. As a matter of fact, I’m not his responsibility. He can go back to the clubhouse and leave me the hell alone. Then to kiss me as if he truly meant to kiss me. It felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in my heart. That’s not a feeling I ever want to relive again.
Don’t get me wrong, kissing Killer is something I’ve dreamt of since first laying eyes on him so long ago. It’s also something I know he doesn’t mean. I’m just one in his extremely long list of conquests. Well, he’s not going to be getting more than that single kiss from me. For my own self-preservation I can’t kiss him.
Kissing him filled me with feelings I’ve never felt in my life before. My entire body heated in an instant while a tremor went through my body. For the first time in my life, a man kissing me has caused my panties to become wet. Not simply wet; drenched from one kiss. A kiss Killer dominated.
When Killer first pressed his lips against mine, I froze in shock. Everything in me wanted to open my mouth and deepen the kiss more than what Killer was already doing. Instead, I kept him firmly locked out of my mouth by keeping my lips firmly together. He’s the first man to kiss me that I’ve actually wanted to kiss me. Neil doesn’t count because every kiss he stole from me wasn’t from my choosing. Those were kisses he didn’t have my permission to take. Now, I want to have more kisses with Killer.
Instead of getting rid of my crush on the man as anger fills me because he just cost me a job, my passion and crush on him has simply been fueled more. It’s like Killer is the flame and I’m a moth drawn to him because of it. Honestly, I hate him for kissing me because at this point, he’s always going to be on my mind and I’m never going to get rid of my crush on him.
When I left the store yesterday, instead of going back to his house, I went to my sister’s home. There is no way in hell I’m going to be under Killer’s roof for longer than I absolutely have to be. This is because he does nothing but piss me off. He can live his life however he wants to. Yet has something to say about the first thing I do for myself. Now, I’ll have to start looking for another job.
On the short trip to their home, I cried so hard I’m surprised I stayed on the road. The only thing keeping me straight was the deep, growling rumble of the bike following me. Brandon didn’t leave me alone; he followed me the entire way there and helped me to the door. The Prospect pulled me from my car and wrapped his arms around me in a quick hug before placing his arm around my shoulder and leading me to the door.
Fox answers and simply stares at the two of us. Without a word, he finally steps aside and lets me in the door. While I go in search of my sister, Fox remains at the door with Brandon. I’m sure the Prospect is filling him in on what happened at the Naughty Peach. I don’t honestly care at this point. The only thing I want is the comfort my sister can offer me. And maybe some insight into what I should do.
I find her laying on the couch with a blanket covering her. Today must not be a good day for her as she simply follows my movements with her eyes. Sitting down at the end of her feet, I make sure the blanket is still tucked up around her, so she doesn’t get cold and remains warm and comfortable.
“What’s wrong?” my sister asks me, muting the TV so we can talk.
“I don’t want you to be disappointed in me,” I begin telling her. “While Killer was away, I got a job at the Naughty Peach. You know that adult toy store on the outskirts of town. They don’t care about my lack of work experience and they were willing to work around my appointments with Denise and the group session I go to.”
“What do you mean they were?” Kim questions me, not saying a word about me working at the store.
“Well, Killer ruined it all today. He came in while I was working and literally carried me from the store. Once we were outside he informed me I’m not going to be working there. We exchanged words before he kissed me. I’m so mad at him, I left him standing in the parking lot while Brandon followed me here,” I inform her about what happened in the parking lot of the Naughty Peach.
For several minutes Kim says absolutely nothing. When she finally recovers she bursts out in uncontrollable laughter. I remain sitting in my position on the couch while Fox races into the room to find out what’s got his woman laughing her ass off the way she currently is. He looks between us, confusion clearly on his face as I remain as still as a statue at my sister’s feet.
“What is wrong with her?” Fox questions me. “Did you break her?”
“No. I just told her what happened at the store today. I’m not sure why she’s laughing like a hyena right now,” I state, embarrassment taking over as my face and chest heat.
“About that, you can stay here as long as you want. I’ll head over to Killer’s and grab you some things. Is there anythin’ in particular you want?” Fox asks, resting a hand on Kim’s shoulder as she tries to finally calm herself down.
“My laptop for sure. And the charger for that and my phone. I’ll need some clothes too. That doesn’t mean I want you going through my underwear drawer though. So, just skip the underclothes. I’ll buy more if I have to. Plus, I need to call Brenda and find out what’s going on at the store. Maybe once I explain the situation, she’ll give me my job back. If not, I hope I never see Killer again,” I respond to him while keeping my eyes on my sister who now has tears running down her face.
Fox nods his head and leaves us in the room. I hear the front door shut before his bike roars to life outside. In a matter of seconds, he’s on his way to Killer’s house to collect some things for me while I stay with them. I’ve never been so mad to the point I don’t want to face someone in my life. Yeah, it should’ve happened with my father, Neil, and his associates, but I was quickly taught if that happened, I’d get an ass whoopin’ for my trouble. This is the first time in years, I’ve actually felt anger and acted on what I wanted to do while pissed off.
While we’re waiting for Fox to get back, Kim puts on a movie for us to watch. We snuggle onto the couch and make ourselves comfortable so we can remain here the rest of the day. It’s not the first time we’ve done this, and it certainly won’t be the last time we’ll have a movie marathon while we’re vegged out on the couch somewhere.
I’ve been at Kim and Fox’s house for a few days now. They’ve left me alone to deal with what I’m feeling. Especially after talking to Brenda and her letting me know there is no way she can give me a job back. She loved the work I do but can’t chance pissing Killer off again. Apparently he already called her to let her know in no way is she allowed to give me a job back in her establishment. I couldn’t hate him anymore than I do right now.
Kim and I have talked about a lot of things, especially Killer, while I’ve been here. Fox told me Killer’s not doing very good right now. He’s pissed at the world and looks as if he hasn’t slept since he got back from the run. While I want to care and rush to his side, make sure he’s okay, I know I can’t do that. The only thing I can do is stay strong and away from him for now. I need to know I’m strong enough to get over this crush.
That’s why today I’m doing the one thing I swore to myself I’d never do. The one thing I know will mean I’m putting myself out there like never before. Kim and Fox don’t even know I’m doing this. There’s only one person who does and that’s Sam. She’s going to be helping me as soon as she gets here.
I no sooner think about her coming over and there’s a knock on the door to the bedroom I’m staying in once again at Kim and Fox’s house.
“Come in,” I call out, knowing the knock wasn’t loud enough to be Killer or any of the other men in the club.
Sam opens my door and makes her way in the room after shutting it firmly behind her. She flops down on my bed, letting her bag fall to the floor, and looks at me with mischief and excitement filling her eyes. At this point in time, she sti
ll has no idea why I’ve called her here. I didn’t want to talk about it on the phone because you never know who’s listening in. Saying that, I mean Fox. He can hack anything and I’m not sure how far he’d go for his club brothers.
“Okay, so what’s with all the cloak and dagger shit?” she finally asks me after sitting and watching me for a minute.
“Well, I want to do something and I’m not sure how to get started with it,” I tell her, looking between the computer and her. “I want to start an online dating account. I’m never going to get over this crush or whatever it is on Killer if I don’t start putting myself out there. Not to mention there’s no point in trying to go out to meet someone because at least one of the guys will be there. No guy who’s not in the club will be allowed to get close to me.”
Sam whoops and begins to clap her hands excitedly. She honestly reminds me of a kid on Christmas. Waiting with anticipation to figure out what she’s going to get from her family and friends. Laughter bubbles up as I realize this is right up her alley and she’ll help me.
“There’s only one thing you have to promise me before we do this,” I state, trying to narrow my eyes at her and failing miserably.
“What’s that?” she questions me.
“You can’t tell anyone about this. Kim doesn’t even know. I mean, she accepted me working at the Naughty Peach without questioning me or telling me how stupid that is. This is another matter entirely and I’m not so sure she’d be on board with me meeting or talking to random men online,” I plead with her, knowing she can keep a secret if she chooses to.
“I won’t say a word. But, you have to know I won’t lie to Playboy if he asks me what we did today. So, we better do something other than just that so I don’t have to tell him about this portion of our day,” she informs me, letting me know I’m on my own when it comes to the men of the club.
“It’s a deal. So, what else are we gonna do?” I ask her, not necessarily ready to hear her answer.
I love Sam. She’s one of my best friends in the world besides Kim. However, when she gets an idea in her head, she can be hard to talk out of it. I’m not sure what she’d think of today just to ensure we don’t have to tell anyone else what I’m about to do. Sally is the only other woman I talk to about things. She’s been through her own personal hell and neither one of us are ol’ ladies. Kim isn’t an ol’ lady yet either, but she’s as good as one since her and Fox are pretty much inseparable. They live together, are there for one another, and share their lives. The only thing she’s missing is the rag. He’ll get there and make sure she has one when the time is right for them.
Sally and I usually bitch about Killer and Stryker. While Sally and Stryker have a different kind of relationship than Killer and I do, we still complain about them. Stryker wants more than she can give him after the death of Killian, a member of the Wild Kings MC. I want more with Killer than he’d ever be willing to give me. He’s definitely not a one-woman type of guy. I’ve seen the proof way too many times to count. I’m just the one he won’t have sex with for some reason. The girl who’s always around because of my situation and relationship with Kim. More often than not, I feel as if I’m in the way and people from the club only hang out with me because they feel sorry for me. Not a single one of them need to pity me or keep me around to keep Kim happy.
“I’ll give you a makeover and we’ll use that to put pictures of you on your profile. How does that sound?” she asks, already looking over me as if to see what we can do.
“I guess we can. I have to warn you, I don’t have much in the way of clothes here with me. Fox hasn’t let me get the rest of my things from Killer’s house for some reason. So, I’ve got what he packed me and I’m not sure it’s all that good for a makeover. Plus, I don’t have any make-up or anything here,” I state, looking around the barren room at the duffle bag of clothes sitting in the corner.
Sam jumps from the bed and makes her way over to the bag. She rifles through what’s in there, pulling out a pair of jeans with holes in all the right places along with a tank top I normally wear to bed because it’s one of the more daring ones I have. It shows way too much skin and I’m not sure that’s an image I want to portray on a dating website. I give her a doubtful look as she lays the outfit on the bed.
She also pulls out a cute black dress I have along with a pair of shorts and a flowing shirt that hangs off one shoulder. It’s one of my favorite outfits because it lets me feel like a woman, but conceals most of my body at the same time. Knowing she has the outfits I’ll be wearing set; Sam moves on to picking up her bag and going through it. after pulling out a few smaller bags, she motions for me to move over and sit on the bed.
Once I’m where she wants me, Sam leaves my room for a few minutes. She rushes back in with a curling iron. Well, Kim now knows I’m getting a makeover. This should be interesting.
‘I’m going to get your make-up for the first outfit done and then we’ll curl your hair. That okay with you?” she questions me, looking at my face because I can’t lie without giving myself away.
“I guess so. You’re in charge for this part,” I respond to her, letting her take control of the situation for a few minutes.
We talk about random things as Sam works her magic on me. Like I said, I don’t do my make-up more than a little eyeshadow and some mascara. Sam is going all out though. I’m not even sure what she’s putting all over my face right now. At least until she begins to brush eyeshadow on my lids. Before I can open them again, she makes me keep them closed. I feel her running something over them and then I feel the mascara wand being swept across my lashes.
Once she’s done putting make-up on me, she steps back and holds out a mirror for me to see her handy work. I study my reflection in the small handheld mirror. The person staring back at me doesn’t look like me. This woman has dark eyeshadow with the line going past my eye. My lips are painted in the neutral color while my cheeks have an almost golden tint to them. I love the look but it’s not something I could pull off on my own. Not by a long shot.
“What do you think?” she asks, holding her breath as she waits for my answer.
“I love it!” I reply honestly. “I’m not sure I can recreate this on my own. I’d probably end up looking like a clown.”
We both giggle like schoolgirls as the image of me trying to capture this look fills our heads. I’ve never hidden the fact I’m clueless about this kind of stuff. However, I can joke about it because it doesn’t rule me. If I want to get a look like this, the other women will help me. If I want to do my own thing, they let me. That’s why we all fit together so well.
The ol’ ladies of the club, including Sally and me, stick together. We support one another when one of the other women are going through something. We’re the ones hanging out when there’s a party at the clubhouse. We even cook together for family dinners and other club events. It’s always us against the men and the world when it comes down to it. I’ll never be more grateful than I am right now for meeting these women and having them in my life. Even the ones I’m not as close to.
As soon as my hair is done, Sam ushers me into the bathroom so I can put on the tank top and jeans. My feet remain bare because no one needs to see if I’m wearing shoes or not. When I emerge from the bathroom, she’s instantly fixing my hair before snapping a few pictures on her phone. I try to shy away from the camera, but she doesn’t let me.
“Gwen, we have to put pictures of you on the site when you create your profile. Are you really trying not to have your picture taken?” she questions me, placing a hand on her hip while staring at me.
“You know I hate my picture taken.”
“I know. This is all part of getting you out of your comfort zone a little bit. You’ll have to get used to it if you’re going to meet anyone or start talking to guys on a dating site,” she assures me, trying to calm my nerves about my picture being taken.
Sam goes through the pictures she’s taken of me in this outfit before sending me
to the bathroom to put the next one on. As I’m closing the door she reminds me to wash the make-up from my face. I do as she instructs, making sure my face is clean so she can once again make me look different from the person I usually am.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’m having fun with the impromptu make-over session. It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. There aren’t any guys around to distract us and Kim and Fox are leaving us alone. If he’s even home yet. Fox left earlier to head to the clubhouse to do some work for a while. Kim still isn’t feeling the best, so I’ve been giving her some space to be alone. I let her rest, only checking on her periodically.
We go through the same routine with all three outfits. Each time my make-up is done and I look in the mirror, I’m blown away by the look Sam has created for me. Especially the last one when she pretty much does my make-up as I usually do. Barely anything covering my face and keeping my appearance as natural as possible.
By the time we’re done, I’m getting more used to her snapping pictures of me. Though she won’t let me see what they look like. Sam keeps telling me I can’t see until we upload them to the site. Now, that’s all we have left to do. I’m getting even more nervous because I’m about to be more out of my comfort level than I ever have been before.
Grabbing my laptop, Sam types in the name for one of the more popular sites. I’ve seen it advertised on late night TV when I can’t sleep. Or wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. We go through the questions one-by-one and Sam puts in whatever I answer. When it comes time to upload the pictures, she keeps her phone and the site hidden until she’s done. Once everything is ready to go, she makes my profile visible and turns the screen toward me.
I gasp in shock as the three pictures of me fill the screen. This is the first time I’ve seen myself in a picture and I’m blown away. While I still look extremely shy, there’s a carelessness and freedom about me. One I’ve never witnessed on my face in all my life. It’s a look I want to keep building on and ensure is there every single day.